Peter Sellers & Sophia Loren

Goodness gracious me

(Her:) Oh doctor, I'm in trouble.

(Him:) Well, goodness gracious me.

(Her:) For every time a certain man
Is standing next to me.

(Him:) Mmm?

(Her:) A flush comes to my face
And my pulse begins to race
It goes boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom

(Him:) Oh!

(Her:) Boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom

(Him:) Well, goodness gracious me. 
How often does this happen?
When did the trouble start?
You see, my stethoscope is bobbing
To the throbbing of your heart.

(Her:) What kind of man is he
To create this allergy?
It goes boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom

(Him:) Oh!

(Her:) Boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom

(Him:) Well, goodness gracious me. 

(Him:) From New Delhi to Darjeeling
I have done my share of healing
And I've never yet been beaten or outboxed
I remember that with one jab
Of my needle in the Punjab
How I cleared up beriberi
And the dreaded dysentery
But your complaint has got me really foxed.

(Her:) Oh. 
Oh doctor, touch my fingers.

(Him:) Well, goodness gracious me.

(Her:) You may be very clever
But however, can't you see
My heart beats much too much
At a certain tender touch
It goes boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom

(Him:) I like it!

(Her:) Boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom

(Him:) Well, goodness gracious me. 
Can I see your tongue?

(Her:) Aaah.

(Him:) Nothing the matter with it, put it away please.

(Her:) Maybe it's my back.

(Him:) Maybe it is.

(Her:) Shall I lie down?

(Him:) Yes.

(Her:) Ahhh... 

(Him:) My initial diagnosis
Rules out measles and thrombosis
Sleeping sickness and, as far as I can tell
Influenza, inflammation
Whooping cough and night starvation
And you'll be so glad to hear
That both your eyeballs are so clear
That I can positively swear that you are well
Ja-ja, ja-ja-ja-ja. 

(Her:) Put two and two together

(Him:) Four

(Her:) If you have eyes to see
The face that makes my pulses race
Is right in front of me.

(Him:) Oh, there is nothing I can do
For my heart is jumping too.

(Both:) 
Oh, we go boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom

(Her:) Goodness gracious

(Him:) How audacious!

(Her:) Goodness gracious

(Him:) How flirtatious!

(Her:) Goodness gracious

(Him:) It is me.

(Her:) It is you?

(Him:) Ah, I'm sorry, it is us.

(Both:) Ahhh!

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