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Wisconsin Jokes

You know you are a Wisconsinite when...
  1. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
  2. "Vacation" means going up north past Crivitz for the weekend.
  3. You measure distance in hours.
  4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
  5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
  6. Your whole family wears green & gold to church on Packers Sunday.
  7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
  8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
  9. You install security lights on your house and garage but leave them unlocked.
  10. The major food groups: cheese, beer, fish, venison.
  11. You keep jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
  12. There are 7 empty cars running in the Farm and Fleet parking lot at any given time.
  13. Your kid's Halloween costume is designed to go over snow pants.
  14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
  15. You refer to the Packers as "we."
  16. The 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, more winter, road construction.
  17. You can identify an Illinois accent
  18. You can spell "Milwaukee."
  19. You think Madison is exotic.
  20. You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
  21. Your creative landscaping is a cow statue next to a blue spruce.
  22. "There's a legal drinking age?"
  23. Down South is Chicago.
  24. A "brat" is something you eat.
  25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed.
  26. You go to a fish fry every Friday.
  27. You know how to polka.
  28. Your 4th of July picnic moved indoors due to frost.
  29. Your snow blower has more miles than your car.
  30. You find 0o "a little chilly."
  31. You know what to do with a Blatz.
  32. You don't call yourself an "alchoholic," you're a professional.


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