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| WHO WE ARE AND WHAT WE WANT |
| We have set ourselves the following goals: |
| Promotion of bad taste, sick humour and dirty jokes on a global scale |
| Finding the most extreme examples of the aforementioned on the internet and bringing them to you, whether you want them or not |
| Indulging in a celebration of the banal and mediocre |
| Converting the masses to our crusade to achieve these aims |
| We aim to achieve these aims by the following methods |
| Bombarding unsuspecting web users with our sordid material |
| Stalking strangers to force them to eventually submit to our way of thinking |
| Shameless propaganda at every given opportunity |
| Cooperation with like-minded people around the world |
| Join our cause now, for our victory is inevitable. Modern technology allows freaks like us access to the minds of people all around the world, and one by one they shall see the sense in our nonsensical endeavour, as many have already. Those who have decided to fight with us and not against us experience a kind of happiness which could not otherwise be achieved without breaking narcotics laws. |
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| Gorky the fynci mynci, General Secretary and chief strategic advisor |
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| Se�n McGinley, Life President |