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Rocky Balboa
"It ain't over 'til it's over!"
Reviewer: Joel
Review date: 20/01/2007
Film genre: Drama, Rags to Riches, American Dream
Director: Sylvester Stallone
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Geraldine Hughes, Antonio Tarver, Burt Young
If I was a member of the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation this film would be strongly suggested for the 'Worst Picture' Razzie Award. Everything about this film is diabolical. Sitting in the auditorium on a cold Winter's Saturday evening with two friends to watch Sylvester Stallone's return in the sixth instalment of the beloved (by some people who I presume do not actually know what a film is) franchise seemed like a pleasant activity in order to overcome the post-Christmas blues. Maybe it has become embossed in my brain over the years that I dislike Stallone, mainly because he cannot act, let alone direct, and also because Rocky (1976) somehow managed to pound Scorsese's Taxi Driver (1976) off the podium for the Best Picture Academy Award. Granted, the first film in this series was a success on every level and some critics think it passes for 'classic' status. However, when the rags to riches story then consequently gets remade in the same franchise five times, it really is no wonder that the films gradually get worse. Critics of this trend may state that any series is the same in this regard, especially the decade after decade run of James Bond films and the predictable ending of the hero in every outing. One has to remember though that Jimmy's EON producers have the whole world, vast types of characters and unlimited amounts of passable plots to play with. Stallone should have found out a long, long time ago that only so much action can take place in a build up to a fight, in the ring itself, and the results of the bouts forthwith.
Geraldine Hughes does her best to rescue the boring drag but nothing can stop MGM's misfire from plummeting into a big obscure mess. Two 'comic' lines I remember are not funny in Hindsight and don't warrant repeating, mainly as one is a reference to the tagline and the other is a funny line from Rocky's trainer involving kissing a train or something, I can't even remember. The plot itself is so fantastical that the people who greenlit the chaos that ensues should have a serious look at how they operate business-wise. Stallone's slurred speech is as terrible as ever, his contemplation about re-entering the ring one final time is nowhere to be seen, and his directing made me feel about as happy as a penguin in a microwave.
The summary
Avoid. If nothing else is on at the cinema and you get tempted by the familiar character and story go to a restaurant, or alternatively go and rent/buy the first one. Failing that, go and find a film that actually delivers on its promise of supposedly trying to make you feel good.
