Japanese Behaviors
In Japan, silence is just as important as speaking. It is considered as a designated moment to understand what has just been communicated and an opportunity to respond in a well thought out manner. In the West, silence is considered as an awkward moment and we try to mask this uncomfortable feeling with words. In Japan, breaking a silence may make you appear insincere to the speaker, since it is expected that you should be considering the value of what has been said. Silence, or what is not said, can be just as important as what is said. If a point is made, the listener is expected to understand the other points which are not said.
Japanese Culture: Non-Verbal Communication
Since the Japanese consider it rude to overtly express emotions in public, the "poker face" is used to cover up negative emotions as well as to protect privacy. Certain gestures have different meanings for the Japanese than for Westerners. For example, pointing to one’s nose or touching the nose means “me” in Japanese culture. Scratching the head is a gesture used by the Japanese to disguise confusion and embarrassment. When the Japanese want to give the impression that they are in deep thought, they will sometimes fold their arms. In America, smiling is a popular gesture used to express pleasure, friendliness, or humor. However, the smile is often used by the Japanese for self-control, particularly when masking displeasure, pain, or anguish.
Japanese Culture: Non-Verbal Communication
In the picture above on the left, you see Cloud pointing to his nose to mean, “me?” In the picture on the right, you see Cloud scratching his head in confusion when he sees that Aerith is crying about Tseng being injured as they enter the Temple of the Ancients. Cloud turns his back to give Aerith privacy, which the Japanese seek when expressing overt emotions.
In Western culture, it is customary to shake hands when greeting someone for the first time, to say "please" when making a request, or to say "thank you" when expressing gratitude. In Japanese culture, bowing fulfills all these functions. Bowing may seem simple, but there are different ways of bowing depending on the social status or age of the person you are bowing to. If the person is higher status or older than you are, you should bow deeper and longer. It is polite to bow by bending from your waist. If it is a casual or familiar situation, you can simply bow your head. The most frequent bow is a bow of about 15 degrees. Bowing can also represent humility. You elevate, honor, and respect the other person by humbling or lowering yourself. The lower you bow, the more you are honoring or respecting the other party.
Japanese culture is largely a silent culture. In Japan, no matter how many complaints a person may have, they are not expressed. It is considered a virtue not to complain about anything. Japanese have been taught perseverance since they were children. The Japanese have become a people of few words in order to restrain their emotions. Japanese people do not like conflict, and they avoid it as much as possible.
Although Americans are very open about their feelings and are accustomed to articulating themselves, the Japanese generally have a negative concept about people who easily express themselves. In Japanese culture, feelings are often kept deep inside to the degree that one can lose touch with his or her real feelings. Feelings are often conveyed in Japanese very subtly by a single word and sometimes silence conveys a whole volume of thought.
Parenting From the Experience of a Multi-Cultural Family
Love Relationships in Japan
As stated before, there is no conclusive demonstration or declaration of love as seen from a Western perspective in Final Fantasy VII. However, it must be remembered that relationships in general, as well as love relationships, are guarded by strict social mores in Japan. Japan is still a country where any display of emotion is somewhat taboo. This is changing rapidly with the younger generations, but many older people will still become very embarrassed at the sight of public displays of emotion.
Japanese Culture: Inside Knowledge of Japan
Japanese men and women do not engage in the kind of public physical contact that we are accustomed to in Western culture due to stricter social mores. As a rule, the Japanese do not show signs of affection or emotion in public. Young couples may be seen holding hands, but it is embarrassing to see spouses kiss in public. Even casual forms of physical contact, such as a pat on the back, are not customarily used in Japan.
Japanese Culture: Non-Verbal Communication
Review of Japanese Film: Shall We Dance?
As for relationships with the opposite sex, outside of the biggest cities, you will find a youth who, for the most part, appear very naïve when it comes to the opposite sex. One possible reason for this could be the fact that they are brought up in an environment where family members do not kiss or hug, and where emotions are rarely voiced. Therefore, even the many young people who do have boyfriends or girlfriends in Japan do not appear to be as emotionally or physically close as young couples in the Western Hemisphere.
Japanese Culture: Inside Knowledge of Japan
From an article where a non-Japanese woman talks about her experiences dating Japanese men:
It's hard to tell whether a Japanese man likes you or not because they don't show their feelings in public as much as Westerners do. Sometimes they will appear uninterested because they are shy and sometimes you don't know whether he is being so kind because he likes you or whether he is just being polite. If you have any Japanese friends, you’ve probably noticed these differences in behavior and communication between Japanese people and Westerners, especially Americans. Just keep smiling, be nice when you talk to him and sooner or later, you will find out.
Courting behavior is quite different in Japan than it is in other countries. Around the world it is generally known that the Japanese are not allowed to freely show affection in a physical way, unless it is between adults and their very small children, mothers and daughters or young couples traveling away from home. Even so, there is a more restrained affection shown. Here is a picture of a young couple having lunch together in a public area in Japan. It may look as if they are touching, but there is actually no physical contact whatsoever.
Courting Behavior Around the World
In the American culture, the kiss is a step taken very early in the relationship, like after a casual date to the movies. After an initial intimacy, kissing is a natural step in Western cultures. Usually, it takes awhile for kissing to turn into full physical intimacy and sleeping together. In the Japanese culture, however, the kiss comes almost at the end of the courting period. After the kiss, the relationship turns fully physical as the next step.
Principles of Didatctic Communication: Humanistic Approach
The Japanese don't say "I love you" as often as Western people do, because of cultural differences. Some Japanese say they have never used this expression in their entire life. The Japanese feel that when you explicitly express your love, it should only be said on special occasions. They feel that the more you repeat these words, the cheaper it becomes. These words are too serious to be repeated many times. Even between a couple, the words "I love you" have a much wider meaning. The Japanese believe that love is much better expressed by manners or action, rather than by words.
Questions about Culture: Gaijin in Japan
How are the words “I love you” spoken in Japanese? Most Japanese will tell you not to say it, but to show your affection instead. There are several ways of saying it in words, though, with variations according to dialect as well as to whom you say it:
Q. How can I say "I
love you"? [in Japanese]
A. There have been two traditional answers for this.
you don't. (you don't say it; you show it.)
’suki', ‘daisuki', ‘suki da yo', ‘suki desu', ‘ai shite'ru yo', and dialect
versions ‘suki yanen',
‘horetennen', ‘gottuu suiterunen', ‘ositai siteimasu', ...
Q.
How do I say `I love you'? [In Japanese]
A.
You don't! At least, according to common lore. Most people suggest you
show the person in question your affection. But, if you want to ignore this
advice, you can try your luck with "ai shiteimasu" or "daisuki desu".
Since you (usually) say this to some-one you know (quite) well, it is
probably more natural to drop the politeness level a bit and use "ai shiteru"
or "daisuki da" instead. To add some emphasis, you could
add a sentence final "yo".
Cloud never says “I love you” to Aerith within the course of Final Fantasy VII because the Japanese feel that it’s better to show your affection for someone rather than to say it. There are many scenes in which we see Cloud demonstrate his affection for Aerith in his manner and actions towards her. Here are just a few examples:
In Jail ~ the Shinra Building:
(The camera moves over to show Aerith's cell. She is lying on her cot.)
Aerith "Cloud, are you there?"
Cloud "Aerith!? You safe?"
Aerith "Yeah, I'm all right."
(She swings her legs over the side of the cot.)
Aerith "I knew that Cloud would come for me."
Cloud "Hey, I'm your bodyguard, right?"
RPGamer: Final Fantasy VII, Complete Script
As Cloud leaves Elmyra’s house:
(On the way out of the city, Cloud runs into Aerith. He looks startled.)
Aerith "You're up bright and early."
Cloud "How could I ask you to go along when I knew it would be dangerous?"
RPGamer: Final Fantasy VII, Complete Script
In Wall Market:
Aerith "Hey, this looks like the Don's mansion. I'll go take a look.
I'll tell Tifa about you."
Cloud "No!! You can't!!"
Aerith "Why?"
Cloud "You DO know... what kind of... place this is, don't you?"
Aerith "Then, what am I supposed to do? You want to go in with me?"
Cloud "Well being a man, that'll be pretty hard. Besides if I bust in there,
it'll cause too much commotion."
(Aerith is giggling.)
Cloud "But, I just can't let you go in alone... Oh, man..."
RPGamer: Final Fantasy VII, Complete Script
In Don Corneo’s mansion:
(Aerith turns.)
Aerith "Sorry... but I overheard... If you know the three girls,
there's no problem, right?"
Tifa "I guess so, but..."
Aerith "We have two here, right?"
Cloud "No, Aerith! I can't have you get involved."
Aerith "Oh? So it's all right for Tifa to be in danger?"
Cloud "No, I don't want Tifa in...."
RPGamer: Final Fantasy VII, Complete Script
There are many other examples in the dialogue of the story similar to these where Cloud demonstrates his affection for Aerith. Many people in the Western audience argue, however, that scenes like these are not conclusive examples of Cloud’s love for Aerith, since the same passages could be interpreted to mean that Cloud only cares for Aerith as a friend.
Given all this insight about how emotions are expressed in Japan, how the Japanese rarely say, “I love you”, and the nature of love relationships in Japan, it becomes clear why there is no actual demonstration or declaration of love seen in Final Fantasy VII between Cloud and Aerith. The Western audience looks for behaviors and words typically used between lovers in the Western Hemisphere when gauging the amount of love between Cloud and Aerith. As we have just learned, however, the love between them can not be judged in this way. Instead, we need to view their relationship from the cultural standpoint of the Japanese.
Given this fact, it is easy to see that Cloud and Aerith may very well be in love even though there is no scene where they tell each other they love one another, and even though there is no scene where they hug or kiss, because this is normal behavior for a couple in Japan. Where can we look for evidence that they are actually in love, then? Before we look at that, there is another facet of relationships to consider.
Sexual Relations in Japan
The Japanese tend to view bodily functions of any kind in a more forthright
manner than we may feel comfortable doing, including sex. This does not mean
that they have a society of "free sex" so to speak. Rather, it simply means
that they are aware of it as a bodily function, the same as anything else,
and that the importance of fertility and reproduction is imbedded in their
society. Fertility rites and festivals are still observed in many areas of
the country. Their social mores and philosophies reflect this fact. While
many of these beliefs may not be openly embraced today, they are still part
of the mores of the society.
Symbolism In Anime: Love and Friendship
Some people question whether Cloud and Tifa had sexual relations under the Highwind the night before the final battle with Sephiroth. As you can see from the above, the Japanese would not consider this to be necessarily indicative of an actual love relationship between Cloud and Tifa. Actually, there are at least three different versions of that particular scene, since it is governed by Tifa’s affection rating with Cloud as determined by the Date mechanism. In at least one version, Cloud is capable of showing absolutely no affection whatsoever to Tifa. This is fully documented with dialogue and screenshots at the following page: Last Night Under the Highwind - Low Affection Version
Furthermore, it is also quite possible that Cloud and Aerith had sexual relations. In the Cloud and Aerith date scene, we see this exchange:
Aerith: "I want to meet you."
Cloud: "But I'm right here."
Aerith: "I know, I know. What I mean is... I want to meet... you."
To interpret this scene accurately, I asked a Japanese language and cultural expert online at AllExperts.com whether the phrase, “I want to meet you” has a colloquial meaning in Japan. Here is my question and his answer:
Question
I'm wondering if the phrase, "I want to meet you" has a colloquial meaning
to the Japanese along romantic lines? I've seen it used a number of times in
English translations of Japanese songs and poems, and it seems to imply a
romantic (or sexual?) encounter. Does it have that meaning colloquially?
Answer
You are absolutely right. The Japanese being very often obtuse in their use
of language do use this expression to mean a romantic interest and it is
found very often in pop songs. It is used most predictably in the speech of
people from
Tokyo
but I have also heard it used in
Osaka.
From Matt, at: AllExperts.com
So we
have established that Aerith was actually asking Cloud for a romantic, and
possibly, a sexual relationship on the night of their date. Remember that even
though Cloud did not respond to her at that moment and said very little to her
that night, this is quite typical behavior for a Japanese male, and does not
mean that Cloud wasn’t interested. Again, we are looking for the wrong
indications of a love relationship between them. So what *does* indicate that
Cloud and Aerith were actually in love with one another?
~ The Love Triangle of Final Fantas
VII is discussed further at
Destiny Fulfilled: Cloud and Aerith's Love