He thought he saw an Elephant,
That
practiced on a fife:
He looked again, and found
it was
A letter from his wife.
'At length I realise,' he
said,
'The
bitterness of Life!'
He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon
the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found
it was
His Sister's
Husband's Niece.
'Unless you leave this house,'
he said,
'I'll
send for the Police!'
He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That
questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found
it was
The Middle
of Next Week.
'The one thing I regret,'
he said,
'Is that
it cannot speak!'
He thought he saw a Banker's
Clerk
Descending
from the bus:
He looked again, and found
it was
A Hippopotamus.
'If this should stay to
dine,' he said,
'There
won't be much for us!'
He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That
worked a coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found
it was
A Vegetable-Pill.
'Were I to swallow this,'
he said,
'I should
be very ill!'
He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
That
stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found
it was
A Bear
without a Head.
'Poor thing,' he said, 'poor
silly thing!
It's
waiting to be fed!'
He thought he saw an Albatross
That
fluttered round the lamp:
He looked again, and found
it was
A Penny-Postage
Stamp.
'You'd best be getting home,'
he said:
'The
nights are very damp!'
He thought he saw a Garden-Door
That
opened with a key:
He looked again, and found
it was
A Double
Rule of Three:
'And all its mystery,' he
said,
'Is clear
as day to me!'
He thought he saw a Argument
That
proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found
it was
A Bar
of Mottled Soap.
'A fact so dread,' he faintly
said,
'Extinguishes
all hope!'