The Unholy Three
1
'Twas a balmy summer
evening,
And a goodly crowd
was there.
2
"Hercules! The mighty ...
marvelous ... mastodonic
model of muscular
masculinity!"
3
"Never smoke cigarettes
and you'll be a big
strong man like him."
4
"Professor Echo! God's
gifted genius! The velvet-
voiced ventriloquist!"
5
"Nemo, how would you
like to walk over to
my house and have a
drink?"
6
"Why walk? Let's run!"
7
Sweet Rosie O'Grady.
8
"That's all there is to
life, friends - a little
laughter ... a little
tear ..."
9
"This dollar pamphlet
contains one thousand
wheezes and jokes -
a guaranteed tonic for
dull care! The price is
ten cents - one dime!"
10
"Now, folks - that's just
a sample of the little
lady's art! The show
on the inside starts
immediately!"
11
"See her do the dance
that broke the Sultan's
thermometer!"
12
"You're there, Rosie -
the best pal a guy
ever had!"
13
"And tonight when we
eat, I'm goin' to buy
you a swell steak!"
14
"I just couldn't hold out
on you, Echo. You're
too square a guy!"
15
"I'm glad you done that,
Rosie. Money got that
way never done no one
no good!"
16
"Tweedledee! Twenty
inches! Twenty years!
Twenty pounds! The
Twentieth Century
Curiosity!"
17
"The Demi-Tasse
Daddy."
18
"Fools!"
19
Midnight--
20
"You see, my plan is
so ridiculous .... so
simple ... that it scares
you."
21
"But ... if you come
with me, we'll clean
up millions."
22
"It's spooky! It
sounds ... unholy!"
23
"That's it!"
24
"We'll be the Unholy
Three!"
25
The day before
Christmas -
26
"And how is Hector McDonald,
my Grandma's little parrot
seller?"
27
"Don't let her tease
you, Hector."
28
"Little Willie darling
heard your voice. He
wants you to take
him bye-bye."
29
"You're just an old
darling, Hector. I
won't tease you any
more."
30
"You're makin' a play
for that guy!"
31
"Since when do you
own me?"
32
"If you tip that boob
off to who we are, I'll
lay some lilies under
your chin!"
33
"Da-da! Da-da!"
34
"If you don't stop
yelling, you'll tip him
off yourself."
35
"I'll get Mrs. O'Grady."
36
"I think you'd better
show the parrots.
They talk so well
for you."
37
Echo, the ventriloquist,
could make wooden
dummies talk - - now
watch the jolly parrots!
38
"Isn't it wonderful how
the parrots always talk
to your Grandma?"
39
"That house, where you
called about the parrot,
was robbed last night."
40
"This is Mr. Arlington.
The parrot you sold
me doesn't talk."
41
"Here's another parrot
that won't talk."
42
"All right, I'll come over.
I'm sure when the bird
sees me it will feel
more at home."
43
"The lady from the bird
store, Mr. Arlington."
44
"May I leave him here?
He might cry if he sees
the - -"
45
"B - -"
46
"- - I - -"
47
"- - R - -"
48
"- - D."
49
"Take mine, darling -
and Granny will get
you some red beads
just like those."
50
"He's always been so
fond of beads!"
51
Christmas Eve - -
52
"- and then, Echo says
to me, 'Granny will get
you some red beads
just like those'!"
53
"Yes, and before morning
Granny will have those
pretty red beads."
54
"Hector's out there with
a Christmas tree for
little Willie."
55
"Didn't I order you to
stay away from that
guy?"
56
"I wasn't with him! I
met him on the corner
headed for here!"
57
"Wait for me in the
kitchen."
58
"You go back to bed,
Mrs. O'Grady. Rosie
and I will trim the
tree."
59
"Get rid of him! We're
gonna pull that Arlington
job tonight."
60
"Oh, I'm mad at Granny!
She won't stay in bed!"
61
"Perhaps she wants
to help us trim the
tree."
62
"Yes, she'd love to do
some trimming."
63
"That guy bossin' me ...
me and my strength!"
64
"He's too jealous to
leave her with that
boob. Come on ... we'll
turn this trick alone!"
65
"I've a secret I want
you to share. I'm
going to ask Rosie to
marry me."
66
"But I'm not going to
give her the ring until
tomorrow."
67
"You and your strength!
You're yellow, you big
stiff ... or you'd come
with me."
68
"You heard me! You're
yellow!"
69
"'Oh, spare my life', said
Mr. Arlington, 'spare my
life'!"
70
"You - - filth!"
71
"Don't you realize that
you've murdered a
man?"
72
"That's why I said we'd
never carry a gun!"
73
"Was there anybody beside
yourselves knew the rubies
were here in the house?"
74
"There was an old
woman from a bird
store who saw the
rubies."
75
"If you don't want no
part of these, because
of how we got 'em ...
then me and the Kid
will take 'em."
76
"You're gonna put 'em
back in the safe with
the rest of our stuff!"
77
"I'm from Police
Headquarters."
78
"Oh, yes, isn't it terrible?
Mr. Arlington was one
of my best customers."
79
"You were at Mr. Arlington's
home yesterday, weren't
you?"
80
"Did the man you saw
with Mr. Arlington
look as if he would
commit such a crime?"
81
"The reason I ask is
because sometimes
the least little thing
gives us a clue."
82
"Cow! Cow! Cow!"
83
"I hate to see anybody
tease a baby."
84
"I don't like to take
his toys from him.
Let's finish our talk
in the store."
85
"You sold a parrot to
Mr. Arlington. Who
delivered it?"
86
"Oh! So you delivered it
yourself? You forget
easy, don't you?"
87
"So long. I'll see
you later."
88
"That dick has a line
on us - - we gotta
think fast!"
89
"He's got a hunch Hector
turned this trick. Let's
plant the jewels in the
boob's room!"
90
"That's it! Make him
the fall guy!"
91
"That's what we hired
him for, isn't it ... in
case we got in a jam?"
92
Christmas night - -
93
"Don't you think my
savings are enough
for us to start on?"
94
"If I loved a man, he
wouldn't have to have
a dime!"
95
"Oh! If you loved
a man!"
96
"Then why have you
let me go on hoping?"
97
"Aw, I've just been
kidding!"
98
"Oh, Hector, I tried so
hard not to let you
know I love you - -"
99
"I've been a crook ...
a pick-pocket!"
100
"But you're not going
to be any more."
101
"I did some pretty bad
things myself ... when
I was young."
102
"Gee, but you've made
this a great Christmas,
Rosie."
103
"Gee, but you've made
this a great Christmas,
Rosie!"
104
"Ain't you the kidder?"
105
"No, Echo, I'm on the
level. I love him!"
106
"Thanks."
107
"What are you going
to do?"
108
"You'll find out soon
enough!"
109
"Extry! Extry! Arlington
murderer arrested!"
110
"What a bonehead I
was to overlook
that!"
111
"That means more investi-
gation - but there ain't goin'
to be no Mrs. O'Grady when
they get here!"
112
"Yes there is goin'
to be a Mrs. O'Grady -
that dick saw me
here - -"
113
"You guys can get out
of your make-up ...
but I can't! And I ain't
going to the chair
alone."
114
"And neither is Hector
McDonald going to
the chair!"
115
"Now, laugh that off ...
you big stiff!"
116
"What are you going
to do?"
117
"You'll find out soon
enough!"
118
"Regan is on his way to
O'Grady's bird store."
119
"Here's one thing stronger
than you ... and I might
need him."
120
It was Spring before
the grim machinery
of the law worked
around to the case of
Hector McDonald.
121
"Does the defendant's attorney
intend to produce the alleged
witnesses, Mrs. O'Grady and
her grand-daughter?"
122
"We're making every
effort to locate them."
123
While in a secluded cabin
in the mountains - -
124
"In his prison cell
he sits."
125
"How about just us two
dividin' the stuff?"
126
"Maybe I got a better
plan."
127
"You can save him, Echo.
And, if you will, I'll stick
with you. I'll never see
Hector again."
128
"Yes! You'd stick with
me ... but you'd go
on loving him."
129
"- - and the minute
he's free, you'd double-
cross me and go back
to him."
130
"Don't you understand ....
I'll do anything to save
him! I love him, Echo ....
I love him."
131
"I'd even take that
from you."
132
"After that, you don't
want to change your
mind about sticking
with me?"
133
He would always have
Rosie ... if he saved
Hector. This was the
thought that took Echo
secretly to the city.
134
"Your Honor, I object!
He is mis-stating the
evidence!"
135
"Objection over-ruled!"
136
"It's Mrs. O'Grady's
handwriting ... and
she's not here!"
137
"Your Honor, may the
defendant take the
stand again to give
new evidence?"
138
"In a case so serious as
his, with a man's life
at stake, the court
cannot reasonably deny
your request."
139
"Speak louder!"
140
"Your Honor, and
gentlemen of the
jury - -"
141
"There was an old
woman who was a
man - - and two
others - the Unholy
Three - -"
142
"First, it was an old
woman and her grand-
daughter! Now, the
old woman is a man!
What next?"
143
"That wasn't me talking!
I didn't say a word!"
144
"- - and it must be
remembered that the
defense has failed
to produce a single
witness to confirm
the prisoner's story!"
145
"You mean ... you want
me to go with you?"
146
"There's a fortune for
just us two to split,
What do you say?"
147
"Do you think he's
guilty? Will he get
the chair?"
148
"I'm Echo, the ventriloquist ...
Grandma O'Grady of the
'Unholy Three'!"
149
"Your Honor, I want to
make a full confession!"
150
The Law can be kind ...
And Echo's confession
won freedom for both
himself and Hector.
151
"Echo, you remember
what I promised if
you saved Hector?"
152
"Well ..... I'm here."
153
"Aw, what's the use of
us kiddin', Rosie. We
don't love each other.
You run along to Hector."
154
"Do you really mean
that, Echo?"
155
"Good-by, old Pal."
156
"That's all there is to
life, friends ... a little
laughter .... a little
tear -"
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