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London

5 December 2017

 

Upon a whim and a notion.

 

Last year our Fool complained that, for our Cambridge Mumming Play, he had to make do with a pink balloon on a stick, instead of the jester’s traditional pig’s bladder.

 

Ever wishful to keep him happy, I make a phone call.

 

“Good morning,” say I. “I am looking for two pigs’ bladders.”

 

“You will have to try our other branch, sir. Leeches of Melbourn.”

 

So I ring the other branch.

 

“Good morning,” say I. “I am looking for two pigs’ bladders.”

 

“Certainly,” said the man’s voice. “No problem. We are slaughtering today. Tuesday is pig day. I shall put two aside for you to collect.”

 

Just like that!

 

Job done.

 

Now remains only to cure them and inflate them to an appropriate dimension.