Title: Soul's Embrace
Author: Marleena
Email: [email protected], [email protected]
Rating/Classification: NC-17, Angel/Cordelia, Friendship/Romance
Distribution: Chaos Embraced, my site(For the Love of a Vampire),
anywhere else, please ask.
Summary: Cordelia and Angel withdrawal from the group, but can
feelings and memories bring the two together? Sequel to "Embraced
by Darkness."
Spoilers: None.
*** Indicates flashbacks.
**Indicates thoughts
1/2000
Chapter One
Two Months Later....
Cordelia stared out the window of her bedroom. She had been
avoiding the others ever since Angel had regained his soul.
She felt as if her heart had been ripped out, and she knew she
could never get it back.
"I'll always love you, Angelus," she whispered to the bright
blue sky. "Where ever you are."
She left the window and went over to her bed. She ran her hand
over the sheets as she remembered the nights she shared with him.
If only Buffy hadn't told Xander, Angelus would still be with her
now.
A tear fell down her face and she didn't bother to wipe it away.
Another tear fell and soon her vision was blurred as she cried.
She knelt by her bed and buried her head in her arms.
"Cordelia," her mother's voice came to her ears, "you're going
to be late for school if you don't get going now."
Cordelia lifted her head off her bed and called back. "I'll be
out in a minute."
"All right."
"I guess I'll go to school," Cordelia mumbled as she got to her
feet.
She had been numbly going through life for the past two months.
She had avoided everyone as best she could. She knew they were
probably worried about her, but she didn't care. As far as she
was concerned they had caused her depression. They could have left
well enough alone, but Xander wanted her away from Angelus. Away
from the one person she loved more than anything. She didn't want
anything more to do with them now.
She went into the bathroom and washed her face of the tears. Her
eyes were red and puffy from the crying. She sighed sadly and
closed her eyes. Make-up would hide the puffiness, but not the
red in her eyes. She would have to get some eye drops for that.
She sighed again and tossed the wash cloth in the sink. She went
over to her dresser and got out her compact. A few touches under
eyes and she would be good to go.
"Much better," Cordelia said as she looked at herself in the
mirror. "I guess I'm ready for school."
She sniffed as she grabbed her jacket and purse. She went
downstairs, said "Good-bye" to her mother and walked out the
door.
~~
Cordelia walked down the corridor to her first class. She was
deep in thought and didn't see Xander come up behind her. She
jumped when he touched her on the arm. She spun around to see
Xander.
"Xander, you scared me," she whispered. She didn't want to deal
with him right now. She didn't want to deal with any of them at
all.
"I'm sorry, Cordy," he apologized. "I haven't seen you in weeks.
I was getting worried about you. Are you all right?"
Cordelia sighed. She avoided his gaze, because she didn't want
him to see the redness in her eyes. That would only lead to more
questions and she didn't want that.
"I'm fine," she answered with a bit of her old self. "I don't
need you to be worried about me. Everything is just peachy."
Without another word, Cordelia continued on her way, leaving a
confused Xander. He sighed and put his hands in the pockets of
his jacket. He wanted to talk to her desperately. He wanted her
back in his life, and he had hoped that given enough time, she
would come back to him.
"Maybe she needs more time," he said to himself as he headed for
his own class.
He didn't know if he could give her more time. It had been two
months since Angelus was changed back to Angel. Since then, he
had not seen Cordelia, except in passing between classes. She had
not acknowledge him or any of the others. He had a feeling she was
angry with them. He didn't understand it, but she hoped that she
would come around soon.
"I'll just see her again at lunch time," Xander told himself as
he took his seat right when the first hour bell rang.
All through his classes, Xander thought up ways to talk to
Cordelia. The hours passed by quickly, and he still hadn't come
up with the best way to speak to her. He sighed as he walked down
the corridor to the lunch room. He figured he would just have to
walk up to her and start a conversation. That is, if she didn't
hit him first or walk away without saying a word.
"I won't know until I do it," he told himself as he entered the
cafeteria. He saw her almost at once. She was sitting alone at a
table by the windows. She was staring out them and he wondered
how long she was going to do this to herself.
He walked over to her and sat down across from her. He touched
her arm, getting her attention.
"Hey, Cordelia," Xander said, smiling.
"Xander," was all Cordelia said before she went back to staring
out the window.
*This isn't going well,* Xander thought miserably. He sighed
inwardly and tried again. "Cordelia, you can't keep away from us
forever. You need to be around friends."
Cordelia glared at him, "Friends? Like the kind that wouldn't let
me be with the man I love. Friends that took him away from me,
because they couldn't stand for me to be with him? Those kind of
friends?"
Xander stared at her in shock. He didn't expect this reaction
from her. He looked at the table top and sighed. She did blame
them for her loss. That was why she was avoiding them. She
couldn't stand to be with them.
"Cordelia, it was for the best," he tried to reason. "He could
have used you against us. He could have hurt you. We were only
thinking of your best interests."
"No, you were only thinking of your best interests," Cordelia
bit out, angrily. "You took Angelus as a threat to you. You saw
him as a rival and you wanted to get rid of him the only way you
knew how."
"Cordelia, that's not fair.."
"You weren't fair! You and Buffy could have left him alone. I
begged you to leave him alone, but no. You had to act on your
damn jealousy!"
Cordelia glared at him then stood up. "Just stay away from me,
Xander. I don't want anything to do with you anymore. Any of you."
She walked away from him after giving him another glare. Xander
watched her leave and he knew that he would not get her back.
She was far too bitter and full of grief to even talk to them.
He sighed and sat back in his chair. He stared out the window
and began to wonder if she would ever stop grieving and return to
them.
After school was over, the group gathered in the library as
always. Willow sat at her computer desk, staring at the screen.
Buffy was practicing and Xander was pacing. He still couldn't get
the conversation he had with Cordelia out of his mind. She blamed
them, all of them. But she blamed him the most.
"There has to be something we can do," Xander pleaded. "I can't
stand to see her like this. It's heart breaking and unnerving."
Buffy spun around and kicked her practice dummy. She then turned
to look at Xander. She brushed her hair out of her eyes and spoke.
"Just give her time, Xander. She's still hurting."
"I've given her two months to get over this," Xander said
angrily. "She can't keep doing this, Buffy. She's only hurting
herself and us."
Willow turned around and watched the two. She knew what had
caused Cordelia to withdrawal from them. She was the cause of
the relationship to come to an end. She hadn't stopped blaming
herself for that.
"We all caused this, you know," the hacker said suddenly. "We
wouldn't let her have a relationship with Angelus. She was in
love with him and we didn't like it."
Xander slammed his hand down on the table. He glared at both of
them angrily. "He could have hurt her! He was probably going to
use her in some plan of his. We probably saved her life."
Before any of them could say a word, Xander stalked toward the
library doors. "I'm going to find her and snap her out of this.
It's time she rejoined society."
Buffy and Willow stared at each other in shock.
"He's just upset that Cordelia isn't grieving fast enough for
him," Willow mentioned. "He knows she needs more time."
The Slayer only nodded. She then sighed and put her weapons away.
"I'm going to find Angel. Make sure he's all right."
Willow nodded and went back to her computer. She heard the doors
open and close. She sighed, knowing that things were about to get
even more complicated.
Chapter Two
Angel lied on his bed, staring at the ceiling. The room was dark
as was the rest of his apartment. It wasn't just because of the
sun, it was mostly because he felt guilty for being with Cordelia.
He couldn't get her image out of his mind, though and it only made
his guilt worse.
*What must Buffy be thinking?* He thought to himself as his
covered his eyes with his hands. *Maybe she knows and understands
that it was Angelus.*
Angel rolled over on his side and stared at the wall. He wondered
if Cordelia was all right. He had a feeling she wasn't taking any
of this very well. He remembered the love in her eyes as she
looked at him.
*At Angelus,* he reminded himself. *She loved Angelus.*
A low growl came from him as he flung himself off the bed. He
had to stop doing this to himself. He put on a shirt and went
into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and got out a bag of blood.
He drained and tossed it into the trash.
He jumped when he heard a knock at the door. He took a moment
to calm himself before he went to it and opened it. He was
surprised to see Buffy on the other side.
"Buffy, hello," Angel said softly.
"Hi. Can I come in?" Buffy noticed the bedraggled appearance as
she stepped into the apartment. His hair was a mess and his
clothes looked slept in. *Looks like he's withdrawn as well.*
Angel closed the door and went over to the couch. He looked at
her and sensed her concern. He ran a hand through his dark hair,
trying to smooth the unruly appearance.
"Angel, is something wrong?" Buffy asked as she sat beside him.
She took his hand in hers as she stared into his eyes. "You've
been avoiding us. You and Cordelia both."
Angel raised an eyebrow at that. He had no idea that Cordelia
was hurting that much. He looked at the floor as he fought down
emotions that suddenly began building inside of him. He felt that
he should be with Cordelia. Comforting her, telling her
everything would be all right. He shook his head and looked at
Buffy.
Buffy noticed the strange expression on his face, but chose to
ignore it. He was probably surprised that any of them would
notice. She sighed and continued. "Xander is upset with this.
He thinks Cordelia should have stopped grieving a long time ago
and went back to him."
"He's being selfish," Angel snapped, suddenly angry. "He
doesn't know or care what she went through."
The Slayer nodded, "I told him to let her be to grieve, but he
decided to hurry her along. He went to see her."
The vampire shook his head, "Xander won't get anywhere that way.
He has to know that."
Buffy shrugged, "I don't think he cares. He just wants her back."
Angel stared at her, surprised, "He won't get her back if he keeps
this up."
Buffy sighed again and looked at the floor. She turned her gaze
back on him as she said, "Willow thinks that Cordelia is avoiding
us because we took Angelus from her."
Angel closed his eyes as the Slayer's words took affect. He knew
how much Cordelia loved Angelus. There was no doubt in those eyes
of hers everytime he looked upon her. It was clear and he had a
feeling that somewhere in his undead heart that he loved her back.
"You knew she was in love with Angelus and you still changed me
back," he said quietly, looking at her. "How could you do that to
her? You were supposed to be her friends."
Buffy stared at him in shock. His words didn't surprise her,
just the way he said them. It was almost an accusing tone of
voice. She shook her head as she tried to reason with him.
"We didn't know if she was safe with him or not," she told him.
"He could have hurt her. She was probably a pawn in some plan of
his. We couldn't have known. We had to stop him, Angel. For all
our sakes."
Angel stood up and began to pace. Her words sounded sincere and
concerned, but something told him that she really wasn't thinking.
None of them were. They were only thinking of what evil Angelus
was planning. No matter how wrong they were.
"How could you be so certain that she was some pawn of his?"
Buffy couldn't believe the way this conversation was turning.
She stared at him, not understanding what he was saying.
"We weren't certain, but I didn't want to take any chances.
Xander thought she was being brainwashed..."
"She wasn't brainwashed, Buffy!" Angel shouted, a fire burning
in his brown eyes. "She was in love, damn it. That's not being
brainwashed. Why didn't you leave her alone?"
"I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you," Buffy
said, her shock clearly evident in her eyes. She shook her head
as she backed away from him. "I thought you would understand."
"I do understand," he said quietly. "I understand how she feels.
She lost someone that she loved. She knows she'll never see him
again."
Buffy shook her head as she opened the door. "I understand how
she feels, Angel, but you should at least have understood what
we did. We had to get you back before Angelus went ahead with
what ever plan he had. She should understand that as well."
Angel growled low in his throat. He couldn't believe that Buffy
thought Angelus had planned to use Cordelia the whole time. He
ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He glared at her
dangerously.
"Angelus never had a plan to begin with," he told her. "I
remember what went on in his mind the whole time he was with
Cordelia. What ever plan he did have went out the door."
"Why are you defending Angelus?" Buffy asked, confused and angry.
"Did the spell even work?"
"It worked," Angel confirmed as he went over to the couch and
sat down. He sat back against it, his head resting against the
back. He didn't look at Buffy as he imagined the distraught
expression on Cordelia's face when she realized that he was no
longer Angelus. It broke his heart and he didn't want to leave
her. He stayed with her until she fell asleep just before dawn.
He had to force himself to leave her then, and he barely made it
to his apartment before the sun rose.
Buffy looked at him as he stared at the ceiling. She could see
the torment in his eyes, on his face. She was sure then that this
was Angel she was talking to. She decided to leave him to his
brooding, and she quietly shut the door behind her.
Chapter Three
Cordelia didn't want to talk to Xander when he appeared at her
bedroom door. She was angry that her mother even let him in to
begin with. She wished she had told her mother that she didn't
want to see anyone.
She stared at him as he sat on her bed. She stood off to the side,
glaring at him. Her arms were folded across her chest as if she
was daring him to try to talk to her.
Xander looked at Cordelia. He could see the pain in her eyes,
but everything else reflected her anger at him. He sighed and ran
a hand through his hair. He wanted to try to get her to rejoin
society. To stop grieving over Angelus and come back to him where
she belonged. The conversation he had with her in the cafeteria
replayed in his head. He didn't want to go through that again,
so he decided to try a softer approach.
"Cordelia," he began slowly, careful not to anger her further.
He was surprised she even let him into her bedroom in the first
place. "Cordelia, everyone is worried about you. Your withdrawal
is scaring me."
"Scaring you?! You put me here, Xander," she growled at him.
"You and your stupid jealousy."
Xander stood up and went to her. He put his hands on her
arms and glared into her eyes. He had had enough of her blaming
him for what he felt he had to do.
"Damn it, Cordelia! You didn't belong with Angelus. He was using
you, but you refused to see that. I had to save you from him!"
Cordelia jerked away from him and hit him hard across his jaw.
She glared at him as he stumbled back. He stared at her in shock,
holding his jaw.
"Don't ever speak about him like that, Xander," she hissed. "I
loved him and he had no intention of hurting me. You didn't
want to see that, though."
"Cordelia," Xander tried again.
"No! No more. I'm sick of hearing you bad mouthing Angelus.
I'm sick of all of you. Just stay away from me, Xander."
She stalked out of her room, slamming the door behind her.
Xander sat on her bed and put his head in his hands. That had
not gone well at all. In fact, it was worse than the argument in
the cafeteria. He sighed as he realized that she wasn't going to
come back to them. Not until she stopped grieving over her loss.
He stood up and walked out the door. He didn't know what to do
anymore, but he wasn't going to give up on Cordelia.
Cordelia ran out of the house, tears streaming down her face.
She didn't know where she was going, but she wanted to get away
from Xander. Away from all of them, and the fact that they had
ended her relationship with Angelus.
The tears nearly blinded her, but she continued on. She let
her feet carry her where ever they felt. She stumbled twice,
but she regained her balance once again as she ran. She finally
stopped when she felt she couldn't go any further. She breathed
heavily as her lungs fought to refill with oxygen. She wiped at
her eyes, feeling how wet her face was.
A slight breeze blew threw her hair. She closed her eyes and let
the wind dry her face of wetness. She breathed in the freshness
and was finally able to relax. She opened her eyes and found
herself in the cemetery.
"Oh, crap," Cordelia whispered as she realized her error.
"Vampires could be out. Great, Cordelia, just great."
She took a deep breath as she silently crept through the grave
yard. She kept her ears and eyes opened for any sign of the
undead. She jumped twice when she heard what she thought was a
creature. She relaxed when she saw they were cats.
Cordelia couldn't get rid of the feeling of being watched.
She stared at every shadow she passed and avoided every bush.
She didn't want to be attacked when there was no one out tonight.
She figured they were all at the library discussing her
withdrawal and what to do about it. She wasn't about to give
them that satisfaction. She planned to fight them all the way.
"I'm not going to forgive them for taking Angelus away from
me," she growled as she stepped over an exposed tree root. "Not
ever."
Cordelia looked up and stopped dead in her tracks. She gasped
as she saw three figures standing before her in the shadows.
Their eyes glowed yellow and she knew at once that they were
vampires.
"Oh, wonderful," she whispered as she backed away from them.
She was about to turn and run when she heard a roar. She
screamed as a vampire launched itself at her. She felt her body
hit the ground and the wind was knocked out of her. She looked
up to see a grotesque face staring down at her. His fangs were
bared and she screamed again.
"Quiet!" The vampire hissed and he hit her across the face.
"Contrary to popular belief, not all of us like to hear our
victims scream."
She stared up at him and a slight smile crossed her lips. "Oh,
really?"
The vampire hit her again when she screamed. She spit at him
only to be slapped. The fangs gleamed at her as they lowered
slowly to torment her. She closed her eyes, but her skin wasn't
pierced. She felt the weight fly off her and she opened her eyes
to see a dark figure tossing vampires away. She heard growls and
hissing and she let out the breath she had been holding. She
closed her eyes and fell unconscious.
Angel tossed a vampire into a tree and smacked another across
the face. The third one turned and ran, seeing that he wasn't
going to get a meal here tonight. With the vampires defeated,
Angel relaxed and let his human features fall back into place.
He turned and saw Cordelia lying on the ground unconscious.
"Delia," he whispered as he went to her. A sense of worry came
over him and he knelt down beside her. He could hear a faint
heartbeat and he closed his eyes in relief.
He picked her up in his arms and carried her out of the
cemetery. He knew he should take her home, but the feel of her
in his arms was overwhelming. He was confused about the feelings.
Were they coming from him or were they left over from Angelus?
He shook his head as he carried her toward his apartment
building. He could figure his feelings out later.
~~
Xander burst through the library doors, startling Willow and
Buffy out of their thoughts. They stared at him in annoyance,
but averted their eyes when they saw the expression on his face.
"This is getting out of hand," Xander stated as he sat down
beside Willow. He looked at both of them and sighed. "She hit
me. She actually hit me. She doesn't want to come back to us."
Buffy sighed sadly. Xander's behavior was also getting out of
hand. The only thing they could do for Cordelia was to leave her
alone and let her heal on her own.
"Xander, what you're doing is making it worse for her," she
told him gently. He was already agitated enough and she didn't
want him angry with her. "Let her be. Give her time to heal and
she will come back to you. Don't force her."
He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. He didn't
want to leave her alone. He was afraid for her. Afraid that she
would waste away in her grief over Angelus. He wanted the old
Cordelia back not this withdrawing shadow.
"I want her back, Buffy," he said in anguish. The pain was in
his dark eyes and Buffy felt her heart break. "She can't keep
doing this. Someday she'll have to stop pinning for Angelus.
He's gone."
The Slayer shook her head and Willow sighed. Xander just didn't
seem to understand.
"Maybe we shouldn't have changed Angelus at all," the Slayer
admitted sadly. "Cordelia would have been happier."
Xander nodded, the sting of tears forming in his eyes. "Maybe
we should have let her be with him after all."
~~
Cordelia slowly woke to see a dark figure sitting beside her.
Her eyes focused and she saw dark eyes and dark hair. The eyes
were full of concern and she recognized them. Her heart soured
and she sat up to wrap her arms around him. She cupped his face
in her hands and kissed him passionately.
Angel's eyes opened wide at her kiss. Shock filled him and he
pulled away from her embrace. He stared at her and realization
formed in her gaze.
"No," Cordelia whispered as she realized that she had kissed
Angel and not Angelus. "No."
Angel held her as she cried. He felt for her and wished that
the others had left her alone. It was cruel of them even if
they did think he had some plan to use her against them.
"It's all right, Cordelia," he whispered to her. "I'm here."
Cordelia thought she heard Angelus' voice, but she knew it was
really Angel. Either way, she was glad that someone was with her.
She hugged Angel tighter and buried her wet face in his shoulder.
Chapter Four
Cordelia slowly opened her eyes to find herself in a dark room.
Her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she realized that she was
not in her own bed. She sat up in surprise, wondering how she got
there. Her eyes moved around the room until they fell upon a
figure standing in the doorway. Her breath caught in her throat
when she realized who was standing before her.
Angel stared at her wondering what was happening to him. He was
concerned about her and knew that she was still grieving over
Angelus. Everytime he looked at her, though memories flooded
back to him. He remembered the feel of her against him when they
made love. He remembered how protective of her he was when she
was afraid that Buffy might tell Xander about their relationship.
It felt strange that those feelings returned when he carried her
to his apartment. He still hadn't figure out what he was feeling
or where they were coming from.
***
Her hands roamed up his back and into his hair. She pulled his
head down for a passion filled kiss. She felt the heat rise
within her as his tongue danced with hers.
Angelus moaned into the kiss as his hands roamed her body. They
finally entangled themselves in her dark hair as he pushed her
onto the bed. He covered her with his body as he continued to
kiss her. His hands made their way down her body and under her
shirt. He lifted her shirt off her body then tossed it to the
floor. He took a bra covered breast into his mouth and grinned
when she bucked under him. He began to suckle it through the
cloth, causing her to moan.
Her hands buried themselves in his hair and held him to her
breasts. She moaned his name and arched up into him, giving more
of herself to him. Her held tilted back and she closed her eyes.
She reveled in the sensations Angelus was giving her. She wanted
it to both continue and to stop. Her hands made their way down his
back and pulled his shirt out of his pants. She began to unbutton
it as the vampire went back to kissing her mouth.
The shirt joined hers on the floor and Cordelia ran her hands
over his chest. She looked up at him and smiled. He returned her
smile as he massaged her breasts. His smile grew as she moaned
and arched against his hand.
***
She watched him as he stood in the doorway. She remembered how
he looked just like that on the top step of the mansion's stairs.
Cordelia felt the sting of tears form in her eyes. She had loved
him so much and wanted nothing more than to be with him for all
eternity. She still loved him, but now she wondered if she would
ever be with him again.
They both jumped when they heard a knock at Angel's door. He
spun around, startled. The knock came again and he looked at
Cordelia. She looked fragile sitting in the middle of his bed.
He didn't want to leave her, but the door had to be answered.
"I'll be just a minute," he said softly as he left the room and
headed for the door.
A surprise waited for him on the other side of the door. He
stared at the red-head in shock when he saw her.
"Willow?" Angel said, surprised.
"Hi, Angel," the hacker said. "Can I come in?"
Angel shook himself out of his surprise and stepped aside to
let her in. He closed the door behind her and motioned for her
to sit on the couch.
"Can I get you anything?" Angel asked.
Willow shook her head then asked, "Angel, why are you avoiding
us? We're worried about you."
Slight movement caught her eyes and she saw Cordelia standing in
the doorway to the bedroom. Willow gasped and went to her.
"Cordelia, I'm so sorry," the hacker said. "I didn't know
restoring his soul would cause you pain."
Cordelia glared at her angrily. She let out all her grief behind
her words. "Sorry? You're sorry? Do you have any idea what hell
I've been through? You took the only thing that really mattered
to me! I haven't been able to eat since then. I barely sleep and
I think I hear him everywhere I go. You have the gall to tell me
you're sorry?!"
Willow's eyes began to mist over, but Cordelia didn't see it.
She was so caught up in her grief and anger that nothing else
registered. She barely noticed Angel separating her from the
hacker before she could hit Willow.
"I'm sorry," Willow said again as tears fell down her face.
Cordelia broke down then. She buried her face in Angel's
shoulders as she cried. She felt his arms wrap around her and
for a moment she let herself believe that he was Angelus.
"You need to get some sleep," Angel whispered to her as he
guided her into his bedroom. "You'll feel better when you wake."
He helped her into bed and he covered her with a warm blanket.
Without thinking, he kissed her on the forehead and quietly
walked out of the room. He closed the door behind him.
Chapter Five
Angel saw Willow sitting on his couch, her head down. He could
hear faint sobbing coming from her and he quietly went to her.
He sat down beside her and waited for her to stop crying.
Willow felt his presence beside her, but she couldn't lift her
head to look at him. She had caused Cordelia great pain and she
felt guilty for it. She thought she was helping her best friend,
but she only ended up hurting another.
"I'm sorry," Willow sobbed, her head in her hands. "I didn't
know. I just wanted to help Buffy. I just wanted everything to
be normal again."
Angel put an arm around her, "It's all right, Willow. You didn't
know she would withdrawal. You didn't know how much she loved..."
He trailed off, not knowing how to finish. She loved Angelus,
but some reason he felt that she loved him, Angel, as well. He
shook his head, not ready to face that possibility yet.
"Why are you withdrawing from us, Angel?" Willow asked her
previous question.
Angel closed his eyes as a wave of guilt over came in. He drew a
steady breath and let it out slowly. He opened his eyes and
stared at the floor as he answered her.
"I can't face her right now," he said quietly. "I've betrayed
her by sleeping with Cordelia. I tore the group apart."
"No you didn't," Willow protested. "Xander is upset that
Cordelia doesn't want anything to do with him. We've torn
ourselves apart by not letting her stay with you...with Angelus."
Angel shook his head and looked at her. His dark eyes spoke
volumes to her. He was fighting emotions that he didn't think
he still had. He averted his gaze to the floor again.
"It doesn't matter," he nearly whispered, "I still feel
something for her. That's why I can't face Buffy. I think I'm
still in love with Cordelia."
~~
It was nearly midnight when Willow left. She was quite tired
after their confessions. They both felt better, their souls
relieved that they finally told the other their secrets. Willow
wasn't going to tell Buffy or Xander that Angel was still in
love with Cordelia. That fact cost them too much already. She
wasn't about to ruin it for them again.
Angel felt drained after he closed the door once Willow had
left. He closed his eyes and let the waves of relief and
wariness wash over him. He needed sleep most of all. Everything
else could be done tomorrow.
He locked the door and turned back toward his bedroom. He
opened the door and saw Cordelia sitting in the middle of the
bed. He could hear that she was crying. He stood in the doorway,
not knowing what to do. He felt overwhelmed with the need to go
to her, but he hesitated. Did she want to be left alone? Would
she push him away if he went to her?
Cordelia sensed his presence in the room. She looked up and saw
him standing in the doorway, looking at her. She couldn't see
his expression, but she believed he was concerned. He was just
that type of person or vampire. She wiped the wetness from her
eyes, but they kept coming.
"Angel," she whispered, not able to complete her thought.
Angel left the doorway and went to the bed. He sat down beside
her and wrapped his arms around her. He brought her close to his
chest and stroked her hair.
"Don't cry, Cordelia," he whispered to her. "I'm so....."
His apology was cut off by her soft lips on his. He was shocked
all over again, but this time he didn't pull back. The emotions
he had been confused about came over him stronger like a tidal
wave. A flash of remembrance hit him full force as he pulled her
tighter to him. He deepened the kiss, his hands moving up and
down her back.
Cordelia's hands entangled themselves in his hair as her
tongue made its way into his mouth. Her tongue danced with his
and he moaned her pleasure and relief. Tears continued to fall
down her face, but they were different this time. They were
tears of relief and joy. He wasn't pulling back, not this time.
This time he was bringing her toward him. Her heart soured as
her hands moved down his back and around his waist. She pulled
on his shirt until it was free of his jeans. She began to
unbutton the shirt as his mouth moved to her jawline. She moaned
as her head tilted back.
"Angel," she moaned as she slowly fell back on the bed. She
looked up at him as he took of his shirt. His silhouette was
beautiful and fresh tears formed in her eyes. She smiled as she
ran her hands up his arms and over his chest.
Angel bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. He had
missed the feel of her body beneath his. He had longed for it,
but fought against it not knowing what it really was. His hands
tangled themselves in her dark hair as his mouth moved over her
face. He nipped and licked her throat, her moans arousing him
even more.
He rose up on his knees and lifted her shirt up and off her. It
was tossed to the floor and he lowered himself over her again.
His mouth continued its journey over her body. He took one breast
into his mouth as his hands moved down her body. She arched
against him and he took more into his mouth. He began to suckle
it and she cried out his name. His teeth gently scraped her flesh
and she whimpered.
Cordelia's hands tangled into his hair and held him against her.
She felt like she was in heaven once again as Angel licked her
breasts. She felt his hands moved down his body and began to
unbutton her jeans. The zipper slid down and Cordelia gasped as
he felt Angel's hand slip inside. She bucked against him and
he chuckled.
"Easy now," he whispered to her as he slid her jeans and panties
off her hips and down her legs. He tossed them aside and lifted
himself to his knees. He stared at her, his dark eyes gleaming
in the dim light. He smiled softly at her.
Cordelia smiled up at him and he hands moved up his stomach and
over his chest. She sat up and took his mouth with hers. She
closed her eyes as her hands traveled back down his body and
began to undo his jeans. Soon his joined hers on the floor. She
brought him down on top of her, her hands entangled in his hair.
He cool fingers teased her core and she bucked against his hand.
She moaned his name as her head tilted back and her hands
tightened their grip on his hair.
Before she reached her peak, Angel removed his fingers and
positioned himself at her entrance. His tongue danced with hers
as he slowly entered her. He swallowed her gasp as he began to
move insider her. He buried his hands in her hair as she wrapped
her legs around his waist.
Suddenly, Cordelia flipped them over to where she was on top.
She looked down into his dark eyes and smiled. She ran her hands
over his chest and he moaned in pleasure. Her smile increased
and she began to move upon him. Her hips slowly rocked against
him and he thrust up into her. She tilted her head back as her
pace increased. She moaned his name as she neared the edge.
Angel's hands roamed up her body and messaged her breasts. His
eyes were closed as he buried himself deeper inside her. He sat
up and took a breast into his mouth. She cried out as he began
to suckle it. His fangs gently scraped the flesh as he clung to
her. His thrusts increased to match hers as he drew closer to the
edge. His hands moved to cup her rear as his thrusts came at a
frenzied pace. He suddenly cried out her name as he released
into her.
Cordelia dug her nails into his back as she felt his climax.
She shouted her release to the ceiling as she fell over the
edge after him. She felt him fall back against the pillows and
she collapsed on top of him.
"Angel." she whispered as a finger ran over his shoulder.
Angel closed his eyes as he ran a hand into her hair. A smile
lit his face as he held her in his arms.
Chapter Six
Cordelia slowly opened her eyes to find herself up against a
body. She tensed, but her sleepy mind believed the body was
Angelus. She smiled and snuggled closer to him. She turned over
and stared into his sleeping face. She traced a finger over his
jaw then leaned forward and kissed him. She wrapped an arm over
him and brought him closer to her.
"Angelus," she whispered as she kissed his face.
Angel's eyes popped open at the name. He stared into her eyes
and saw that she was half asleep. She murmured the name again and
he quickly sat up, surprised. He looked down at her and saw that
she was shocked that he had sat up so fast. He watched as her
eyes cleared of sleepiness and realization dawned on her.
Cordelia saw that he was nude and her eyes widened. She looked
down at herself and saw that she was in the same state. She
gasped and covered herself. She stared at him as she realized
that she had slept with Angel not Angelus. She quickly began to
gather the blankets around her.
"I-I'm sorry, Angel," she said as she quickly got out of bed.
"I'll leave now. I hope you're not angry with me. I was out of
my mind last night. I thought you were Angelus."
Angel grabbed her arm before she could get two feet away from
him. He stared into her eyes and saw the grief shining in them.
She was near tears and he didn't want her to regret what she had
done with him. He didn't regret it and he was not about to let
her go now that he had found her again.
"You don't need to apologize, Cordelia," he said to her as he
pulled her closer to him and onto the bed. He wrapped his arms
around him, glad that she didn't resist him. He kissed her temple
and breathed in her scent. "I've been fighting feelings for you
for the past several weeks. I didn't know if they were mine or
left over from Angelus."
He felt her tense when he mentioned the name, but he held her
closer. He stroked her hair to soothe her.
"I learned that they are mine," Angel continued softly. "They
have always been mine. Even when I was Angelus, I had feelings
for you. I don't want to lose you."
Cordelia felt the tears slide down her face. She sniffed and
buried her face in his shoulder. She had missed Angelus so much
and here he was the whole time. Only, he wasn't trying to kill
the Slayer or any of her friends. He had a soul now and he still
loved her.
"I don't want to lose you either," she whispered as she fought
the urge to cry. "I love you."
She looked up at him and stared into his eyes. She cupped his
face and kissed him with a passion that had built up for months.
Her hands entangled themselves in his hair as she pulled him
closer to her. She wasn't going to let him go this time. She was
going to fight to keep him. Even if that meant fighting her
friends for him. She would be damned if they took him from her
again.
Angel sensed her determination in her kiss. Her feelings were
right there for him to see and he read them like a book. He
wrapped his arms around her and covered her with his body. He
deepened the kiss as their passions grew. He was hers again and
he was not going to see her hurt by anyone. He would promise her
this; both with his words and his actions.
"You're mine," he whispered to her as he nuzzled her neck, "I
won't let them hurt you again."
Cordelia shivered as she felt his lips on her throat. She
closed her eyes and held him closer to her.
"I won't let them take you from me, Angel," she vowed. "Not
again. Ever."
With those words exchanged like marriage vows, they gave in to
their passions. The room echoed with their voices raised in
ecstasy.
~~
Angel woke to the sound of water running. He raised his head off
the bed and saw a light on under the bathroom door. He smiled
slightly as he realized who was in there. Her passion was
contagious and never-ending. If he was mortal, he would be
breathless, but even still, he was exhausted. He didn't think he
would ever be exhausted in such a way, but he was. He had loved
every minute of it and would have done it again, but he was worn
out. He chuckled at that. He still couldn't believe it.
The door opened and he looked up. He caught his breath as he
stared at Cordelia. The light from the bathroom framed her form.
She seemed to glow with radiance and beauty. Her dark hair was
black with wetness and she was draped in a white towel. She
looked like a goddess to him, an angel.
Cordelia smiled as she looked at him. His eyes were wide as he
stared at her. She ran a hand through her wet hair to entice him
even more. Black strands sifted through her fingers to land on
her left shoulder. She walked toward him, her eyes locked with
his. She slowly lowered herself to kiss him on the nose, then
his forehead.
Angel jumped at her gentle touch. He was shaken out of his
thoughts and he looked up at her. He smiled sheepishly as he
rolled onto his back. He was aroused again, but he knew they were
too sore to go another round.
"You're turn to take a shower," Cordelia whispered to him in a
seductive manner. "I'll be getting dressed."
He smiled at her and sat up in bed. He watched as she dropped
the towel, her back to him. His eyes trailed down her body then
back up. He closed his eyes as he told himself to take a cold
shower. With this in mind, he slid off the bed and padded toward
the bathroom. He turned on the water and stepped under the spray.
Ten minutes later, feeling refreshed, Angel walked into his
bedroom and saw that Cordelia was no longer there. He heard
clanging and he deduced that she was in the kitchen. He smiled
and got dressed. He didn't know she could cook, but if she was
willing to try, he'd let her.
He was surprised when he walked into the kitchen to see that she
had a bag in her hand. A bag full of blood and a cooking pot on
the stove. He cocked his head to one side and watched as she
stabbed the bag with a fork and poured the red liquid into the
pot. She tossed the bag into the trash and turned on the fire.
"Cooking breakfast for me?" Angel asked as he leaned against the
counter top.
Cordelia saw him from the corner of her eye. She watched the
blood and tried to keep herself from throwing up. She did not
know what possessed her to heat up a bag of blood. She chalked
it up to the fact that she must really love him if she was
willing to face nausea in order to cook him breakfast.
"Of course," she told him as she stirred the liquid with a
spoon. She continued to tell herself that it was tomato soup.
"I figured you'd want something hot after your cold shower."
Angel raised an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest,
"How did you know I was taking a cold shower?"
She looked up at him, a perfect eyebrow raised, "I saw how
aroused you were when you rolled onto your back. And in your
eyes."
He stared at her in surprise. He averted his gaze and was glad
that he couldn't blush. He looked back at her and saw that she
was again staring into the pot. He smiled at her ability to keep
herself from throwing up. He went over to her and took the spoon
out of her hand.
"I believe it's warm enough," Angel whispered in her ear.
"I'll take it from here and start your breakfast."
Cordelia stepped aside and watched as he got out a coffee mug
and poured the blood into it. She stifled a shiver and turned to
sit down at the table. Cooking the blood was a test of her wills.
Watching someone drink it was going too far. She sighed and
focused her gaze at the wall as Angel drank the blood. She heard
him put the mug in the sink and she turned her gaze back to him.
"You should be getting to school," Angel said as he sat across
from her. "They'll be worried about you."
She sighed and stared at her hands, "Willow probably told them
were I was last night."
Angel shook his head, "She felt guilty about what she did. She
only thought she was helping Buffy."
Cordelia glared at him, "It's always Buffy, isn't it? Nothing's
right with the world unless she gets her way."
Angel took her hands in his. He forced her to look at him by
staring at her. When he had her attention, he spoke calmly.
"Buffy is Willow's best friend. She thought she was helping her.
She didn't know what it would lead to."
She sighed and shook her head, "I don't care anymore. I just
don't want it to happen again. I love you and I want to be with
you. Always."
He smiled gently at her and lifted her hand to his lips. He
kissed it as he stared into her eyes.
"It won't happen again, Cordelia," Angel promised her, his
eyes dark with emotion. "You will be with me for always."
Chapter Seven
Cordelia felt on top of the world as she went down the hallway
of the school. Her mind was on last night's events. The love of
her life was back with her and nothing was going to prevent them
from being together this time. She would rather die than have
Angel taken from her once again.
Her mind was on those thoughts as Willow spotted her from her
locker. Cordelia passed Willow, heading toward her first hour
class. Willow shut the locker door and jogged up to the
dark-haired girl.
"Cordelia," the hacker said as she came up to her. "Cordelia,
wait."
Cordelia turned around and saw the red-head coming up to her.
She raised a perfect eyebrow at what the hacker was wearing, but
the look in the green eyes was what really caught her attention.
The look was urgent with a mixture of compassion. It piqued her
curiosity.
'What is it, Willow?" She asked, feigning a bored expression and
voice. "I don't want to be late for class."
Willow rolled her eyes as she stopped in front of the cheerleader.
Cordelia must be back to normal if she was sarcastic. She hoped
this was a good sign. Now, her curiosity was piqued. What could
make her change back to her normal self as if nothing happened?
Did something happen between her and Angel after she left? She
wanted to find out.
"I just want to apologize for everything," she started.
Cordelia waved her comment away, "You apologized the other night.
I accept. I know you were just being a friend to Buffy."
It was Willow's turn to raise an eyebrow. She blinked a few
times as if the person before her was not really Cordelia at
all. Now, she was really curious about what happened.
"I want to know if you're all right," she continued, hoping to
bait her into telling what had happened. "I know what it's like
to love someone and not have that love returned. It must be hell
to see Angel."
Cordelia smiled, a smile that hid a secret, "It's all right,
Willow. Angel and I are fine with everything. We're ready to
return to society and demon fighting."
She let out a little laugh at that thought. She shook her head
and turned to go to class. Willow stopped her before she could
get too far.
"Did something happen between you and Angel last night?" Might
as well be blunt and hope the question was answered.
Cordelia stared at the witch, shocked. She debated on answering
that question. Would she run to Buffy and tell the Slayer? Would
it happen again like it did with Angelus? She had vowed to
herself and Angel that she would not let that happen. She
decided to keep that vow by not telling Willow anything.
"Nothing happened," she lied with a cheery smile. "I didn't want
to go home last night, so he let me stay. We had breakfast
together and I left for school."
Willow didn't believe that for a moment. Cordelia was too cheery
for it to happen like that. She caught her arm before Cordelia
could get away.
"I don't think so, Cordy, you're way too happy. Something
happened between the both of you to cause such a sudden change
in you. What happened?"
Cordelia glared at the hacker and wrenched her arm out of the
slight grip. She straightened herself and snapped back at Willow.
"What business is it of yours? Angel and I had a peaceful night
and a wonderful morning. We talked all night and what ever
happened in between is none of your business!"
She turned around before Willow could say a word and went to
her classroom. Willow stared after her in shock. Something did
happen between the two and Cordelia didn't want anyone to know
about it. She had an idea why and she understood. She would keep
the secret better than Buffy did. She didn't want to see any
more pain, because someone loved Angel.
Willow sighed and walked to her classroom. Her thoughts so heavy
on her mind, she could barely concentrate on the teacher's words.
She had to talk to someone about this and she knew just who that
person was. Angel himself.
~~
Angel was lying on his bed when he heard the knock at the door.
He groaned and contemplated on not answering. He had been
thinking about Cordelia the whole day and it made him so aroused
he was hurting. He wanted to see her again; to take her once
again and show how much he loved her.
*Oh no,* he thought as he felt himself growing even more aroused.
The knock on the door again brought him gratefully from his
thoughts and he decided to answer it. Hopefully, he wasn't too
much in pain not to walk.
Angel crawled out of bed and made his way slowly to the door.
He groaned silently as he came to the door. He opened it and was
barely surprised to see Willow standing on the other side. He
raised an eyebrow at her then stepped back to let her in. He
closed the door then faced her.
"I want to talk to you," Willow stated without waiting for him
to offer her anything. "I want to know what happened between you
and Cordelia last night."
Angel stared at her. Now he was surprised. Why did she want to
know what happened between Cordelia and him? What business was
it of hers?
"Why?"
Willow sighed and sat down on the couch. She looked at him and
could see that this was both a surprise and an annoyance. She
stared at her hands as she realized that she was acting nosy.
No one liked a person who was nosy, but she told herself that
she was just curious as to why Cordelia was so happy all of a
sudden. She took a deep breath and jumped in.
"I saw Cordelia in the hall this morning. She was so happy she
looked as if she was walking on air. It was a sudden change to
the last time I saw her. I put two and two together and figured
something happened between you last night."
Angel ran a hand through his hair and began to pace. Should he
tell her what happened? If Cordelia didn't say anything then he
shouldn't either. He knew that she didn't want the same thing to
happen to their relationship that had happened to her and
Angelus'. He didn't either. Not when he had found her. He shook
his head and faced Willow.
"What did Cordelia say?" He asked, knowing the answer.
Willow sighed and stared at her hands. She could almost hear
what he was going to say to her answer. "She said it was none
of my business."
"Then it isn't any of your business," Angel said what she knew
he would.
"I know why you're so reluctant to speak about it," Willow
offered. "You don't want Xander or Buffy to stop you from having
a relationship. I understand that. I won't tell either of them."
Angel growled and began to pace again. "That's what Buffy told
us last time. We can't risk that it will happen again. You can't
know that Buffy or Xander will figure it out."
"They'll stay out of it this time," Willow tried to reason.
"They know what they did hurt Cordelia greatly. They won't want
to do so again."
"I still won't tell you anything. I won't hurt Cordelia by
betraying her in any way. I love her too much to do that."
Willow sighed and continued to look at her hands. She thought
Angel would be more understanding. She then shook her head. What
she was doing was asking them to reveal to her something they
thought was too precious to risk again. She was also being
nothing more than a gossipmonger. She cursed herself and stood
up. She looked at Angel and offered a slight smile.
"I'm sorry to trouble you, Angel. I just wanted to know why
Cordelia was so suddenly happy."
Angel returned her smile and touched her shoulder. He decided
that a little truth would be all right.
"Let's just say, she found what she thought was lost," he said
cryptically. "That's why she's happy. Do us both a favor and let
her stay that way."
Willow beamed as if she was just given a valuable secret. She
nodded and touched Angel's hand that was on her shoulder.
"I'll make sure of it, Angel," she promised him. "Thanks."
Angel brought her into a hug as he whispered to her, "I know
you will, Willow. I know."
Willow wrapped her arms around him and realized what she had
just been given. She couldn't betray Angel again. His friendship
meant too much.
Chapter Eight
Angel walked down the street toward Cordelia's house. He had
called her after Willow had left his apartment several hours ago.
He wanted to see her, to court her like she should be. He
finally realized that she was the one that he wanted to be with.
He wanted to do it right by her and that meant dating.
*Shouldn't be too difficult,* he thought as he turned a corner.
*Dinner and dancing seem to be ideal for her.*
Angel was smiling brightly as he thought of dancing with
Cordelia. He was used to the feel of her in his arms, but the
idea of dancing with her aroused him. A long dark dress to make
her dark eyes came into his mind. Her lush full lips parted
slightly as they stared into each other's eyes clouded his mind.
He almost didn't see Buffy coming toward him until it was too
late.
"Ow!" The Slayer shouted as Angel slammed into her and stepped
on her foot. "Watch where you're.....Angel!"
Angel backed up and stared at her in surprise. He was so wrapped
up in thoughts of Cordelia that he didn't see where he was going.
He looked around at his surroundings and saw that he wasn't far
from the Bronze. He ran a hand through his hair and looked at
Buffy.
"Buffy," he said softly. "I'm sorry. I wasn't looking where I
was going."
Buffy stared at him strangely. The fair away look in his eyes
was there, but faintly. She looked at him and saw that he was
dressed quite nicely with a dark jacket and pants to match. The
shirt he was wearing was silk and was also dark. She raised an
eyebrow at him and looked into his eyes.
"Why are you dressed so nicely?" She asked as she folded her
arms across her chest. "Are you going somewhere?"
Angel groaned inwardly. Why didn't he just walk on after he
apologized. He had feeling of how Buffy would react if he told
her where he was going. He closed his eyes and lowered his head.
"I'm going on a date, Buffy," he answered, raising his head to
look at her. "I'm going with Cordelia."
The Slayer stared at him surprised. She was surprised that he
had finally gone out after nearly a month of withdrawing. She
was glad that he was out, but what shocked her more was that he
was going out with Cordelia.
"With Cordelia?"
Angel nodded. He wondered how she would feel once she learned
that he and Cordelia were together. She just hoped that she
wouldn't try to stop them. Cordelia had vowed she wouldn't let
anyone stop them again and he knew she would hold up that vow.
So would he, but he didn't want anyone else to get hurt.
Buffy stared at him not knowing what to think. Cordelia had
been the Queen of Gloom for the past month and she knew it was
because she missed Angelus. She had regrets about turning him
back, know that she knew how much Cordelia loved the vampire.
She had even told Xander that they should have left the two
alone. Now that it looked like the Angel and Cordelia were
together would she still leave them alone?
"How is she?" Buffy asked. "She has been withdrawn at school."
Angel's eyes brighten at the thought of Cordelia. He smiled
slightly.
"She's much better now," he answered. "We had a long talk last
night about everything. We cleared the air and are ready to
start over."
Buffy nodded. She thought as much, but she knew that she
couldn't be the bringer of unhappiness again. She took a deep
breath and returned his smile.
"I'm glad that you've straightened everything out," she told
him. "It's good to see that you're finally happy. Both of you."
Angel looked at the slayer and raised an eyebrow. Her words
were agreeable, but her tone was sad. He looked at her closely.
"Buffy, what's wrong?" Angel asked as he put his hands on her
shoulders. "You don't sound happy about Cordelia and I being
together."
Buffy stepped out of his embrace and wiped at her eyes. She
shook her head and looked at him with burning eyes.
"I'm not," she said, her hands down at her sides. "I didn't want
her to be with Angelus, cause I feared that he was using her to
get at me. I thought giving your soul back would stop it. I
thought it would being you back to me."
Angel stared at her, his own eyes blazing as he listened to her
words. He stifled a growl as he thought of how selfish her words
sounded. He shook his head as he thought of how painful it had
made Cordelia.
"Look what it did to Cordelia," he told her, keeping his voice
even. It would do now good to let his anger get the better of
him. "It caused her pain and heartache."
"I know," Buffy said, her own voice cracking. "I didn't mean to.
I didn't know she was in love with Angelus. With you."
"She was and she is," Angel mentioned. "I love her as well.
And some small part of Angelus loved her as well."
Buffy looked at him, her glittering with unshed tears. She
smiled slightly at him and nodded. She took a deep breath and
wiped at her eyes again. He loved Cordelia and there was nothing
she could do to stop them. She didn't want to knowing what it
would cause them.
"I see," she whispered, her voice soft and quiet. "I won't
stop you. None of us will, though Xander might be a bit of a
problem."
Angel smiled and touched her cheek. She returned his smile and
placed her hand over his.
"I know you'll put some sense into him. He'll see someday and
he'll find someone for him as well."
Buffy laughed shakily. She could handle Xander quite well.
She nodded slightly and stepped away from Angel. She sighed
and wiped the rest of her tears away.
"Go to her, Angel," the slayer whispered. "She's waiting."
Angel smiled at her and kissed her on the cheek, "Thanks for
understanding, Buffy."
Buffy only nodded. She watched him walk down the street toward
his love. She smiled softly and turned to walk in the other
direction. She wished them the best as she went on her way. There
was someone that was waiting for her and she wanted to let him
know that he could be happy again.
~~
Cordelia came down the stairs when she heard the doorbell ring.
A smile spread across her red lips as she made her way to the
door. She checked her appearance one last time and opened the
door.
"Angel," she said, her face bright and full of life. "Come in."
Angel returned her smile and stepped into the house. He looked
at her and would have caught his breath if he had any. She
looked just as she had pictured him. She was wearing a dark red
dress that almost looked brown. It stopped just below her knees
and showed off her curves. The high-heeled shoes she wore
matched perfectly as did her lushish lips. The dress was
sleeveless showing off her lovely arms and shoulders. He closed
his eyes and groaned.
"Why thank you, Angel," Cordelia said as she walked away to get
her purse. "I picked this one out just for you. I think I'll
keep it now."
She laughed lightly and went over to him. She looked him up
and down and made a slightly groan of her own.
"Ready?" Angel asked as he reached behind him to open the door.
He just could keep his eyes off her. It was a good thing he
wouldn't have to while they danced. He wanted to get lost in her
eyes and he couldn't wait to do so.
"I'm ready. Let's go," Cordelia said as Angel opened the door.
She put her hand on his arm and the two went out the door.
"I know this wonderful restaurant that you'll just love," he
said as they walked down the steps and onto the street. "Dinner
and dancing. How's that sound?"
"Wonderful, Angel," she answered with a smile. "Just wonderful."
Chapter Nine
Cordelia stared into Angel's eyes as the two danced. She felt as
if she was drawn into the dark depths and she wanted to be lost
in them. Her smile had never left her face since they had arrived
at the restaurant an hour ago. She was amazed at her surroundings.
The large room was dimly lit with candles and one chandelier that
hung in the center of the ceiling. Soft music played and the
coziness and romance of the atmosphere was only heightened.
"This is wonderful," she had said as they sat down at their
table. "It's so..."
Her words trailed off as she tried to think of the perfect thing
to say. She was at a loss to describe what she was feeling as she
took in the restaurant. She looked toward Angel, who was smiling
brightly.
"Perfect?" He suggested, knowing that it was. "Romantic?"
"Very," Cordelia said, thankful that he filled in what she was
too impressed to say. She had been to fancy restaurants before.
Mostly with her parents, but this was amazing. He had outdone
himself and her smile never left her face the rest of the night.
"I think that smile froze on your face, Cordelia," Angel
whispered, bringing her out of her thoughts. She chuckled and
kissed him on the lips.
"I can't get over this place," she told him, her eyes
sparkling with happiness. "It's just wonderful, romantic.
Everything. Thanks for bringing me here, Angel."
Angel smiled in return and kissed her gently. "You're
welcome, Cordelia. I might bring you here again."
Cordelia's eyes widened and she nearly jumped for joy. She
held herself in check, though. Even though there was hardly
anyone here, she still wanted to behave herself. She was in
public after all. She planted a passionate kiss on his lips
instead. Her hands went up and around his neck, bringing him
closer to her.
His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her happiness
and joy. He saw that she was keeping herself in check, though.
He could see that she wanted to show her glee with more than
just kissing. He decided that the kiss was more than enough for
him. He returned her kiss with just as much passion, his hands
circling around her waist.
The song ended, but the two kissed for a moment longer. Slowly,
the two separated and stared into each other's eyes. Duplicate
smiles formed on their lips as thoughts of passion and love
crossed their eyes and minds. Finally as the last note echoed
in the silence, Angel led Cordelia back to their table. He
helped her into her chair then moved and sat in his across
from her. He took a sip of his wine as he stared into her eyes.
"I love this place," she told him as she looked at him from
over the rim of her glass. "And I love you."
Angel would have blushed if he could, but instead his smile
just grew. He had never been so happy in his long life. He had
never felt more full-filled or content. It was overwhelming, but
he enjoyed it. On top of that, he didn't fear being intimate with
her. He had not lost his soul and he was grateful for that. He
also knew, though that Angelus would never hurt Cordelia. He
believed the demon loved her just as much as Angel did. For that,
he was even more grateful with the knowledge that their love
would continue even if he did lose his soul.
"I love you, Delia," he said, his dark eyes shining with the
fire and love he felt for her. "I always will."
Cordelia did blush, but she held her head high and returned his
smile. Her eyes blazed with passion for him and it sparked his
own deep passion for her. A wicked grin formed on her lips and
he could see in her eyes what she was thinking. He returned her
smile and nodded. He waved for the waiter and asked for the check.
She sipped the rest of her wine as the waiter brought the check.
She smiled as he raised an eyebrow then looked at her. She
giggled and shook her head.
"It was your idea to come here, Angel. Remember that," she told
him the gleam in her eyes adding to her passionate expression.
Angel shook his head and went into the pocket of his jacket.
He took out a credit card and handed it to the waiter. The
waiter bowed and left to the cash register. The vampire returned
to Cordelia, a smirk on his face.
"I might have to take a rain check on bringing you back here,"
he told her with a hint of laughter in his voice. "It's quite
expensive."
Cordelia snorted unlady like and rolled her eyes. It was
Angel's idea of ordering the best wine in the building that
made the price go up. He didn't have anything to eat and she
only had the quail. The quail might have been only ten dollars,
but the wine was twice that. She shook her head.
"You ordered the most expensive wine they had, Angel," she
told him. "It wasn't my idea either."
Angel smiled, his eyes glittering with mischief, "Only the best
for you, Cordelia. Besides, I haven’t had this type of wine for
ages. I rather missed it."
She chuckled as the waiter returned with Angel's credit card
and the reseat. She watched as Angel signed his name on the
paper and place his card back in his pocket. The waiter gave
him his copy and bowed again before he left.
"You ready?" Angel asked as he put the receipt in his jacket
pocket.
Cordelia nodded and the vampire got up and went over to her
side. He helped her out of the chair and the two made their way
out of the restaurant.
"That was wonderful, Angel," she said as they stepped out into
the night air. "I loved it."
Angel chuckled as he took her hand in his and led her toward
his car. He opened the passenger side door and let her climb in.
"I'm glad. It was very enjoyable for me as well," he told her as
he sat down beside her in the driver's seat. She buckled up, a
smile on her face as he started the engine. "I might just do it
again."
Cordelia laughed as Angel pulled out into the traffic. She
knew he would take her back. For her birthday maybe or at
their anniversary. Either way, she knew she would be seeing
this place again and she was glad. She settled back into the
leather seat as she ran over in her mind the feel of being in
his arms. She closed her eyes and let the visions take over as
she ran her hands over her arms. She knew she would be in his
arms again before the night was over and she couldn't wait. She
looked over at Angel and her smile became one of love and
admiring. She let her eyes wander over his body and she
pictured her hands exploring the parts of him she knew so well.
She closed her eyes and imagined his hands over her and she had
to control herself from letting out a moan of arousal.
Angel saw her out of the corner of his eye. A smile crossed
his lips as he heard her moan. It was very soft, but he heard
it. It aroused him and he drove faster to his apartment. He
couldn't wait to get her in his arms, writhing under him and
crying out his name. Just the thought made him more aroused and
he felt himself straining against the pants he was wearing.
Finally, he pulled up to the curb and he turned off the
engine. Cordelia was out of the car before he even went to the
other side to help her out. He jogged up to her and saw the
arousal in her eyes. He knew his own gaze matched hers and he
pulled her toward him and kissed her like she had never been
kissed before. His tongue entered her mouth and explored her.
His tongue danced with hers as his hands cupped her rear and
squeezed. She moaned into the kiss and her hands messaged his
back.
"Cordelia," Angel whispered when he pulled away from her. His
eyes were darker than before and she knew what that meant.
He would take her here and now if it wasn't that they would
probably be seen. She touched his cheek and Angel lifted her
up into his arms. He took her mouth again as he headed into the
building and up to his apartment.
~~
Xander paced in front of Angel's door. He had been doing so for
the past hour and a half. He knew the vampire wasn't home, but
he didn't want to leave just in case Angel did show up. He wanted
to see for himself that Cordelia was with Angel. Something told
him that she had changed. He had seen her on a couple of
occasions where she had a smile on her face or she laughed at
someone's joke. He had wanted to go to her and ask her back, but
he stayed away. He wanted to be sure that she had finally gotten
over Angelus, but he was curious that it was such a fast change.
She had been mourning him for two months and now all of a sudden
she was happy again. It seemed a quick change to him after all of
them telling her to get over Angelus. He figured something had
happened and he wanted to find out.
He was suspicious at first of the idea. He noticed that she
wasn't at home last night or the night before. He had went to
her house to see about her, but she wasn't there. He had asked
where she was, but neither one really knew. All they said was
that she was at a friend's. He didn't think Cordelia was at
Willow's or Buffy's. She didn't think she was at any of her rich
friends' house, but he checked them anyway. They hadn't seen her
at all. That only left Angel and here he was, pacing in front of
the vampire's door, thinking the whole time that Cordelia had
been seeing Angel.
"Xander," a voice stopped him in his tracks as well as brought
him out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw the sight he hoped
he would never see. Cordelia in Angel's arms. He was carrying
her as if they were lovers. His eyes widened as Cordelia glared
at him, both fear and warning in her eyes.
"What are you doing here?" Cordelia asked. He thought it came
out as a growl, but he decided he was imagining it.
"I was worried about you, Cordelia," Xander explained as he
watched the two. He saw the warning in Angel's dark eyes and
he knew that he was going to be in trouble if he mentioned the
wrong thing. "I haven't seen you for three days. I gave you time
to get over Angelus and when you suddenly came to school all
happy and carefree I wanted to know what happened. I wanted to
ask you back. I went over to your house to do so, but your
parents said you were at a friend's you’ve been at Angel's the
whole time, haven't you?"
Angel growled low in his throat and lowered Cordelia to her
feet. He was going to rip the little punk's head off if he so
much as mentions taking Cordelia away from him. A hand on his
chest kept him from going for Xander's throat. He looked down
and saw Cordelia staring up at him with eyes that were fearful
and protective. He closed his eyes and nodded. He would let her
handle this, but he would be damned if she would allow her to be
hurt again.
Cordelia turned her gaze to Xander and crossed her arms against
her chest. She glared at him as she remembered her vow to stop
anyone from tearing her away from Angel again.
"Yes," she said, her voice firm and full of warning. She was
going to break down in front of Xander. Nor Angel for that
matter. She was going to fight for the man she wanted and she
didn't want to crack now. "I've been with Angel the whole time.
He rescued me from being attacked by vampires three days ago and
I've been staying with him ever since. He has helped me over come
my loss as well as recover from being attacked. I have found what
I have lost and I will not give it up again. Never. I love Angel
and I am going to stay with him whether you like it or not!"
Xander stared at her in shock. She had said that she loved
Angelus when they comforted her in the library. Now, she was
saying she loved Angel. He shook his head and put his hand to
his forehead. He figured this would happen. He didn't want to
think about it at the moment, though. He looked at Cordelia and
took a deep breath.
"Cordelia....."
"No!" Cordelia snapped, her eyes flashing. He stared at her
in surprise, his eyes wide. "I won't let you take him from me
again, Xander. I'm going to hold on to him and there's not a
damn thing you can do about it!"
"He's a vampire!" Xander shouted, knowing what ever he said
would reach deaf ears. She had made up her mind and he couldn't
change it, but maybe he could get her to think about what she
was doing. "You sleep with him and he'll lose his soul. You'll
be sending a dangerous killer out to hurt those that are your
friends."
"It's none of your business, Xander," she growled at him. "If
they were my friends they would have let me be with Angelus. I
loved him and you took him away from me all because you were
jealous."
"Cordy..."
"Shut up!" Cordelia shouted, her patience gone. "I'm going to
be with Angel and you're to stay away from him. I don't so much
as want to see a stake or I will never speak to you again. Do
you understand that?"
Xander stared at her in disbelief. He did not imagine that he
would ever have this conversation with Cordelia. He didn't want
to believe what he was hearing, but he was. He lowered his head
and stared at his feet. He had to face it. She was in love with
Angel and she didn't want to lose him again. He sighed and looked
back up at her. He wanted her to be happy and if it was with Angel,
so be it.
"All right, Cordy," he said calmly. "If you're happy..."
"I am," she said, her hands on her hips. "And I will stay happy."
Xander nodded and took a deep breath. He just hoped that she
was right. "Then I guess I'll be seeing you, Cordelia."
Cordelia nodded a slight smile curving her lips. Xander
returned the smile and walked back down the hall. She turned
back to Angel, relief flowing over her and making her slump.
She rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes.
She began to shiver as the fear finally let itself be
recognized. She felt Angel's strong arms wrap around her and
she let the tears fall down her face.
"Angel," she whispered as she wiped away at the wetness. "I
thought he was going to hurt you."
Angel kissed the top of her head and hugged her tightly against
him. He stared after Xander as he entered the elevator. He had
watched the whole scene in silence, knowing that Cordelia wanted
to handle this on her own. He had seen the emotions flash across
Xander's face and he had nearly attacked the boy for fear that
Xander was going to hurt Cordelia in some way.
"He wouldn't have gotten two feet," he told her as he stroked
her dark hair. "I would have tossed him into the wall. I had
planned on it anyway."
Cordelia pulled away from him to stare into his eyes. She saw
the fire in them and she knew he would do it. He was angry
enough to do so. She touched his cheek to soothe him.
"I'm glad you didn't," she told him softly. "It would have made
things worse, but I thank you for wanting to protect me."
Angel smiled at her and gently kissed her. The passion wasn't
as hot as it was before thanks to Xander, but it was there
nonetheless. He deepened the kiss as he reached over and opened
the door. He pushed her backwards into the apartment and he
kicked the door close. He pulled back enough to look into her
eyes, and he saw that the passion was building there again. He
smiled and touched her cheek.
"I love you, Delia and I didn't want him to hurt you."
"I know. Just kiss me."
Angel smiled brightly and kissed her passionately.
Chapter Ten
Xander knocked on Buffy’s door loudly. He tapped his foot
impatiently as he waited for her to answer the door. When she
did, he pushed past her and into her living room.
"We have to talk," he said as he began to pace the room.
"Cordelia is with Angel."
Buffy shut the door and sighed. She was getting ready to see
Xander, to talk to him about that very thing. It appeared, he
had beaten her to it and found out somehow. She went over to him
and stopped his pacing by standing in front of him. He stared at
her in surprise, but said nothing.
"Sit down," she said, placing her hand on his chest and
shoving him backwards onto the couch. She sat beside him and
looked at her hands. "I ran into Angel a couple of hours ago.
He seemed quite happy."
"Yeah," Xander interrupted. "Anyone would be if they were
sleeping with Cordelia. I should be with her not him! She was my
girlfriend before Angelus kidnapped her and forced her to sleep
with him."
Buffy stared at him and he quieted down. He ran a hand through
his dark hair and sighed. She should have known that he would
act like this. He still felt like Cordelia should be with him
instead of Angel or Angelus. She had to make him see that
Cordelia was happy with Angel and they should leave the two alone.
"You know what she did when I saw her tonight?" Xander asked
before Buffy could continue. "She threatened me. Me of all
people! She told me to leave them alone. She said she was happy
with Angel and wanted to be with him and it was none of my
business. How could she say such a thing?"
The Slayer rolled her eyes and stood up. She glared at him as
she put her hands on her hips. It seemed that she would have to
knock the sense back into him. She shook her head and began to
pace like Xander had done before.
"She loves him, Xander," she told him firmly making sure he
was listening to her. "We took that away from her when we
changed Angelus back. She finally found him again and she
doesn’t want a repeat performance from us. Can’t you understand
that?"
Xander put his head in his hands and groaned. He didn’t want
to understand it. He wanted his Cordelia with him. The only
problem was that she was in love with Angel and she wanted to be
with him instead. Why did things have to be so difficult. He
raised his head and looked at Buffy, who was staring at him
intently. He lowered his eyes and stared at his feet. There was
determination in her eyes and he couldn’t stand to see it.
"I just wanted her back," he whispered in defeat. "I hoped
she would have come to her senses after she had grieved long
enough. I didn’t expect her to fall for Angel."
Buffy sat back down and wrapped on arm around his shoulders.
She pulled him closer to her and let him rest his head on her
shoulder.
"Just let her be, Xander," she told him softly. "She’s happy
now. She finally has what she had grieved so long for."
Xander choked back a sob with a low groan, "What am I to do?"
"You can be happy for her for one," she offered. "I’m happy
for Angel."
Xander looked at her with a raised eyebrow. He knew that she
had feelings for the vampire and it was strange to her those
words from her. He had thought she wanted Angel back to normal
so that she could be with him once again. What had happened
between then and now?
"How can you be?" He asked, hoping to probe her into telling
him. "I thought this whole plan to change Angelus was so that
you could be with Angel and I with Cordelia."
Buffy shrugged and her gaze drifted away. It had been, but
something happened that neither of them expected. Cordelia and
Angel had withdrawn and would barely talk to anyone.
"Things changed, I guess," she answered in a faraway voice.
"They withdrew and somehow they went to each other for comfort.
It could have snowballed from there until they admitted their
feelings for each other."
Xander groaned again and placed his head in his hands. He
didn’t like this one bit. He sighed and closed his eyes as he
went through the past few days in his mind. Cordelia was still
angry with him over the whole Angelus incident. She would be
angry with him for eternity if he repeated that incident with
Angel. He pushed himself to his feet and began to pace once
again.
"You’re going to wear the carpet out, Xander," Buffy said,
sarcastically. "Cordelia wants to be with Angel. Let her.
There are plenty of girls out there. You’ll find someone else."
"Not like her," he said as he continued to pace. "She
had everything a guy could want. Now Angel has her."
She sighed and leaned back against the cushions. It was better
if he went through this than for him to try and get over it
too quickly. She would let him rant and moan while she tried to
comfort him in his misery. She just hoped it wasn’t a long
mourning period. She had vampires to slay after all.
Xander continued to pace as he thought over everything that
had happened. Maybe it was better to let Cordelia be with Angel.
He didn’t want to put her through the agony of losing the
vampire again. He remembered the look in her eyes and saw the
pain reflected in them. It hurt him to know that he had caused
such pain. Had agreed to such an idea and not know the
consequences for them. He sighed and turned to look at Buffy.
"I don’t want to put her through that again," he said, his
voice low and filled with pain and regret. "I want her to be
happy."
Buffy smiled, but she caught something in his voice that no
one else could have noticed if they weren’t listening well
enough. She felt that this was long from over for any of them.
She knew he didn’t want to hurt Cordelia again, but something
in his eyes told her that he was not about to give her up. She
just hoped that Xander would come to his senses before it was
too late.
~~
Angel walked Cordelia home after they left his apartment. It
was a wonderful night with a slight breeze that cooled their
burning skin. He had his arm around her waist and held her close
to him as if to protect her from unknown danger. Maybe he was,
for one never knew when something could strike at any moment.
"It’s a beautiful night, Angel," Cordelia said as she tilted
her head up to look at the stars. "You could almost make out
the constellations."
Angel looked up and smiled. He could make out at least two of
them. He pointed them out to her and she laughed. She had
missed them since the town’s lights made them dim against the
velvet sky. He leaned over and kissed her on the lips, causing
more heat to build up inside her. He felt his own desire rise up
within him and he wanted to take her there, but stopped himself
before he got too carried away. He stared into her eyes and
nearly lost him in the depths. He knew she was lost as well.
"My place," she whispered as she began to walk again. Their
pace was more brisk now, but they kept it slow to savor the
heat between them.
Cordelia fumbled with the keys as she searched for the key to
open her door. She found it and smiled at him as if telling him
she could do it. He shook his head and rolled his eyes as she
inserted the key into the hole. They heard a click and she
pushed the door open and led him inside. The door barely shut
before her mouth was fastened to his. They didn’t even bother to
turn on the light before they were consumed with their passion.
Cordelia felt him fumble with her dress in the darkness. She
shoved off his black jacket as she heard the zipper to her dress
go down. She began to tear at his dark shirt as he slid the
straps down her shoulders. Impatiently, she ripped his shirt
apart then wiggled out of her deep red dress. She tossed both
across the room then grabbed him and devoured his mouth. Their
tongues wrestled together as she fiddled with his pants.
He moved her toward the couch as he slid her panties down her
hips and off. She stepped out of them as she pushed Angel's
slacks down his legs. He stepped out of his pants as he ran
his hands through her hair. She reached the couch, but instead
of sitting down, she grabbed hold of Angel's arms and spun him
around. She pushed him down onto the couch. She began to lick
and kiss her way down his body and up again.
Angel growled as she felt her tongue on his flesh. She moved
her right hand down his body toward his briefs. She slid her
hand between the cloth and his skin. She heard him gasp then
moan as she began to stroke him.
"Cordelia," he groaned as she continued her motions in a more
frantic pace.
Cordelia stopped and slid his briefs off him. She then stood up
and unfastened her bra. She could hear his heavy breathing and
it caused her to become more aroused. She then moved to straddle
him. She ran her hands into his hair and kissed him deeply. He
returned her kiss just as passionately. She let go of his hair
and stopped kissing him. She snaked her hand between them and
found his erection. She moaned with approval as she slowly slid
on to him. They both moaned at the sensation.
Angel wrapped his arms around Cordelia, bringing her closer to
him. He then placed his hands on her hips, and thrust into her.
She gasped at the motion then moaned as he slowly began to move
inside her. She rocked her hips forward, matching his pace. She
placed her hands on his shoulders and rocked forward, driving
him deeper into her. He began to lick and suckle her breasts as
she moved on top of him. He heard her moan his name, and he
relished in that he could bring her so much pleasure. He blew
on her breasts, causing her to nearly scream in delight. He
smiled at her high-pitched moan as he continued to meet her
frantic pace.
"Angel," she gasped as she met his forceful thrusts. She
couldn't take much more of this. Finally, Cordelia titled her
head back and cried out in ecstasy. She dug her nails into
Angel's skin, causing him to thrust harder into her. She rode
the waves until he thrust one last time, and released into her.
Their cries echoed through out the house.
Cordelia fell back onto Angel’s body, breathing heavily. The
two sat there, arms wrapped around each other in the darkness.
After a moment, she sat up and caressed Angel's face. She bent
down and kissed him deeply.
"Angel," she whispered as she stroked his face. An
overwhelming sense of tenderness came over her and it nearly
brought tears to her eyes. "I love you so much."
Angel looked up at her, the moonlight streaming in through
the windows. She was so beautiful in that light he wanted to
hold it for all time. He smiled at her and caressed her cheek.
"I love you like no other, Cordelia," he whispered as he
brought her face down for a tender kiss. He tasted her tears
and he knew they were not tears of pain. For once, he was glad
that he could make her cry. It showed him how much he meant to
her and that caused tears to build in his eyes as well.
"I don’t want this to end," she said as she ran her hands over
his chest, smiling when she heard him moan.
"It won’t end," Angel answered, his voice firm despite his
arousal. "We won’t let it."
Cordelia smiled at that as she began to move again. She knew
now that she would always have her Angel.
END