The last time we saw our hero he had just escaped Amador seconds before the Seanchan horde descended upon the city. Now Darkwood presses on with dreams of arriving at this mythical stedding of which he's heard so much. Still confused as to the rapid fire happenings in Amadacia and with many questions on his mind, he focuses on finding a bride.

Part 6: Life Lessons

Darkwood walked quietly through the Morning air. He felt....somber, yes that was the word, a smart people word. It had been a couple days since he had left Amador, and the events were still confusing him. If Justen had been his half-brother, then why had he terrorized his Grandma, and for that matter, what did Darkwood's mother have to do with anything if Justen and he were not in fact blood related. It just seemed as if the story had no continuity whatsoever. In fact, the author seemed to have no real idea about what he was doing.....

Hey it's me again! Remember I was in parts one and two, and I interrupted to tell you the goings on and all, along with editing out the parts that aren't for you readers to see. Well this would be one of those parts, as Darkwood rambles incoherently about the lack of plotline. anyway, he appears to be done blaspheming this saga, so let's go back shall we? we shall.

... and he also wondered about the whereabouts of Jim Blonde. He had thought that perhaps he would once again have to face Blonde in Amador, but somehow with all the goings on he'd never run into his foil. He had an outside hope that perhaps he'd finally gotten rid of that Blonde fellow, but of course only time would tell. Suddenly interrupting his thoughts a large cart came following him down the road. Darkwood watched the cart as it rumbled it's way toward him, and wondered what manner of person was on this road so early. The cart finally came to a stop.

Darkwood: OW!!!!

The cart moved again, and rolled slowly off of Darkwood's foot.

Cart Driver: Terribly sorry about that son, my cart seems to have a mind of it's own sometimes.

At the driver's statement the cart begins to recite a litany of curse words. The cartman spits.

Cart Driver: And a filthy mouth too. Now young Ogier, what are you doing out on your own away from your stedding?

Darkwood: I'm not so sure myself anymore, but I know it was something about hats that started this all.

The cart driver nods casually and leans in to whisper....

Cart Driver: You know, there are trollocs out in those fields.

The cartman gestures towards the various fields surrounding them.

Darkwood: Erm, are you sure, trollocs rarely travel this far south, that's what all the books say.

Cart Driver: Yes well, be that as it may, there are trollocs, aye, and a fade, saw em myself I did. They're after travelers, it all started at the Holdwin's inn. There was a fade, looking for a couple boys and a stolen Heron Marked sword.

Darkwood: erm..... and what was your name again?

Asked Darkwood with just a hint of suspicion, he'd read this story before, and copyright infringement was, he was told, very troublesome.

The Cartman drew himself to his full height as he spoke.

Cart Driver: Names Almond, Almond Joy, but everyone calls me Mounds.

Darkwood: I thought it was Almen Bunt?

Almond jumps on Darkwood and tackles him to the ground, putting a hand over his mouth.

Mounds: Shhhh! what do you want to get sued? My names Almond Joy. I've never been Caemlyn, and certainly never spirited away two boys in the dead of night from the clutches of a fade. Damn youth these days.

Feeling a little stupid Darkwood pushed Bunt.... erm, Mounds off of him and got up. He had been so worried about copyright and then he'd been the one to mess up. He was also a little distressed at how badly this story was going right out of the box.

Darkwood:Well sorry, but you kept raving about trollocs I thought we were in trouble there.

Mounds:Trollocs! You've seen em too?

Darkwood: actually.....

Mounds: I knew it, I knew it. C'mon my boy, get into the back of my wagon, it'll keep you hidden from the trollocs.

Darkwood: No you see I have to be on my way, I'm going to....

Mounds: The Stedding! yes yes, hop in, that's my next stop. hurry, the trollocs are coming. THEY'RE COMING!!!!

Darkwood looks around and doesn't see anything but grass, still, if Mounds was going to the stedding he might as well hop a ride. He wanders over to the wagon and hops into the wagon bed, right away he notices something odd. in the bottom of the wagon there is a staircase leading downward. Looking up at Mounds Darkwood voices his thoughts aloud.

Darkwood: This is gonna be weird huh?

The look on Mounds' face says it all, and Darkwood just shakes his head and begins to descend the stairs. On his way down he begins to feel the wagon thump beneath his feet, at first he thinks it's just from the wagon moving, but he soon realizes that he's hearing music from down below. At the bottom of the stairs a platform appears, and a doorway blocked only by hanging beads. Above the door it reads.

Almond Joy's Rec Room, Featuring Heron Mark'd

Whistling to himself in the realization that this would be crazier than he originally realized Darkwood takes a deep breath and enters. Right into a scene of mayhem. Over forty people surround the room. Darkwood almost goes back up the steps right then, but the weirdness of the situation makes him realize that this must be part of the story. So instead of bolting for the nearest exit he decides to stop and see what all is going on. He notices a man up on stage performing, and assumes that must be Heron Mark'd. He stops to listen to the jam for a minute or two.

I rock Ice, lil' daddy every time I step
I rock Ice, lil' momma cuz I love the rep
I rock Ice, whole world cuz I'm doing my thang.
I rock Ice, Bling Bling, Bling Bling

Rolex crushed out, my chrome stays spinning
Hot Boy with so much money I don't know how to spend it.
Don't you wish you could be in my shoes just for a minute?

At that point Heron Mark'd Holds the mic towards the other passengers expecting them to know the lyrics to the line, he frowns when they don't and then continues.

I started at nothing look at me now I'm Iced out,
Police think I'm doing wrong but nope I'm right now
It's cuz I'm black huh? that you riding my back?
Payed for everything I have, so how you love that?
They don't wanna see me ballin', (they) wanna see me fallin'....

As Darkwood listens he's surprised by a voice off to the left.

A voice off to the left: Hey Darkwood.

Darkwood turns to the source of the voice, it turns out to be a man wearing a black coat with a dragon pin on one side.

Darkwood: Hello, um, Asha'baman. Can I help you with something?

The man giggles to himself for a few minutes.

The Asha'baman: You knew I was an Asha'man? tee hee.

Darkwood: Right well the dragon pin sort of gave it away. Anyway I better go.... over there. bye.

The Asha'baman: Hey don't you want to know how I knew who you were?

Darkwood: No not especially, you kind of frighten me, but if you're gonna tell me anyway then go ahead and lets get this over with.

The Asha'baman: hehe, okay then. I read your story.

Darkwood: Really? fascinating, I gotta go now.

The Asha'baman: Wait a second. I wanted to ask you something. Can I?

Darkwood: You just did, anyway I really gotta run, I have a chess tournament at the White Tower in a couple minutes.

The Asha'baman: No silly, I wanted to ask you if you'd put me in your story, so, will ya?

Darkwood: Sure, hey you were just in it. That okay? great. Anyway..... Bye!

Darkwood starts to run across the room, the Asha'baman yells from behind him.

The Asha'baman: WHOO HOO!! Okay, my name Skechid. S-K-E-C-H-I-D, spell it right now, and don't forget.

Darkwood turns back for a second.

Darkwood: Don't worry there buddy, I couldn't forget if I tried, you can trust me on that.

Skechid: Wow, thanks Mr. Ogier fellow, I'm gonna go tell all my friends at the Black Tower Now. YAY!!!

Skech then runs back up the stairs and away from the wagon.

Darkwood: Oooookay.

Darkwood turns around and immediately runs into some guy wearing a white cloak.

Darkwood: Terribly sorry Whitecloak.... I mean Child whatever your name is, didn't see you there.

The CoL: No worry friend ogier, my names Aren. Hey was that Skechid you were just talking to? From the Black Tower.

Darkwood: Actually yes.... why do you ask? not that I want to know clearly.

Aren licks his lips a couple times and then shakes it off and looks back to Darkwood.

Aren: I just think them BT boys are kinda hot. mmmmmmm I'm leaving the Children by the way, Something about them BT boys just makes a fellow want to channel the power, if you know what I mean.

Darkwood: Right, well I'll take your word for it.

Aren: Oh, sorry Ogier fella, my mind wandered, yum. Bye.

And with that Aren went sprinting up the steps.

I hope that Skechid fellow's a fast runner Darkwood thought to himself as he tried to remember what the hell he was thinking when he jumped on this wagon. To clear his mind he checked back on the stage where Heron Mark'd had taken to inciting the crowd.

The Roof, The Roof,
The Roof is on Fire.....

He once again held out the mic to the crowd, and again got no response.

Heron Mark'd:Well Funk Ya'll then. I'm out.

Heron walks off the stage and up the stairs.

Darkwood: Okay, well that's a bust then, I wonder how far this bloody stedding is.

While Darkwood was trying to decide if he could actually feel the place moving another man stepped up on the stage and began to attempt to hush the crowd.

Some Dude on Stage: Attention all, My name is Malderico Ashram, I'm Head Spy for the Children of the Light. Now I know many of you are CoL, but running is not the answer. We must Fight!! La Resistance!

The Essex Girl: But there are too many of them! I just Wish Justen were here.

Rico:

What's he that wishes so?
My cousin Maec? --- No My fair cousin:
If we are marked to die, we are enow
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men the greater share of honour.
The Creator's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold;
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires:
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from Amador:
Creator's peace I would not lose so great an honour,
As one man more, methinks, would share from me,
For the best hope I have. Oh do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Maec, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse:
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is called the feast of Crispian:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say, To-morrow is Saint Crispian:
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say, These wounds I had on Crispin's day.
Old men forget yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember with advantages
What feats he had that day: then shall our names,
Familiar in their mouths as household words, -
Rico the Spy, Boyle and Myselle,
Zehava and Ray, Salem and Ashera, -
Be in their cups freshly remember'd.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered, -
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
And gentlemen in Amador now a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap while any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

Darkwood looked around at the various passengers to see their reaction.

Assembled CoL: HUZZAH!! RICO RICO RICO RICO!!!

Rico: Viva La Resistance!!!!

The entire CoL cheers and follows Rico up the stairs and out of the wagon, almost trampling Darkwood in the process.

Darkwood: Hasty buggers.

It's at that point Darkwood notices that he is now alone with one other person in the Wagon.

Darkwood: Jim! Jim Blonde!

Jimmy: har har har, heya mate.

Darkwood: What are you doing here?

Jimmy: Well that fellow with the cart started mumbling about trollocs, then he mentioned Almond Joy and I figured there would be some chocolate down here. There wasn't though. BAH! Sometimes I just feel like a nut.

Darkwood: Yeah, right. well before we start ripping off commercials for cheap laughs how's aboot you answer me some questions.

Jimmy: har har har, still confused Dorkwood? well it figures, ask you're questions.

Darkwood: Hmmph, well okay. Why didn't you try to stop me in Amador, I was sure you'd be there.

Jimmy: Oh I was there alright, but I saw some filthy beggar that owed me five bucks so I had to chase him down. By the time I got the money, stopped off for a swirl cone, and came back to the warehouse you were gone. It was then I heard about these Sawchin, and how they all looked like Paityr. Needless to say I got out of there.

Darkwood: Makes sense. So are we done with our war then, you and I? Will you finally stop pestering me?!

Jimmy: It came to me Dimwood, when I saw you come in, that you're simply never gonna find a bride, so there's no real need for me to try to stop ya. Genetics already did that job for me.

Before Darkwood could respond with something he thought to be witty Dave Brunette rushed into the room.

Dave: Jim mate, I forgot our dynamic duo joke book back at the Fortress! How will we pull off our comedy one liners without it!?

Jimmy: Be easy Dave, we'll just have to go back and get it is all.

Dave: Yes, yes I see that, Paityr's or no Paityr's we go back!

With that Dave rushed back up the stairs, Jim prepared to follow.

Darkwood: Wait up a second Jimmy. I have just one more question.

Jimmy: Well make it quick Ogier boy.

Darkwood: I still don't get the whole Justen is my brother thing. I mean it just doesn't seem to connect with the rest of the story.

Jimmy: Oh that, well it's so simple if you think about it, the explanation is.....

Jimmy is cut off as Almond Joy comes running down the steps.

Almond Joy: We're here, we're at the stedding.

Jimmy: Right, well I better get going then. Catch ya later DW.

And with that Jimmy hurries off of the wagon. Darkwood quickly follows.

Darkwood: Wait! You never answered my question!

But when Darkwood made it up the stairs and out Jimmy was gone, and the only thing left was a piece of parchment on the ground. Darkwood picked it up, while looking around at his surroundings. He saw a large inn, and some trees dotted the landscape, but this certainly wasn't a stedding.

Darkwood: Mounds, I thought you said we'd arrived at the stedding?

Mounds: Yes well as to that, you see I'm a female forsaken reincarnated into a man's body.

Darkwood: No you're not.

Mounds: Okay you caught me, I'm not, those places just creep me out is all. But I promise there is a stedding a couple of miles off that way, and many ogier do hang out here at this inn. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go pick up young people and hide them from the trollocs.

Darkwood watched the candy bar nam'd fellow leave, and then walked into the inn. He notices some Ogier off in the corner playing some type of card game and another Ogier at a table talking with a single human. Aside from that there was no one else in the inn save the Bartender and a serving maid with a guitar singing on a table. DW did a double take on the serving maid. It wasn't actually a 'maid' at all. It was a man singing on the table, a man wearing fish net stalkings. Darkwood shuddered, but now he couldn't help but hear the song.

Corner store, stop in,
someone asks, how ya been?
I say I wouldn't know,
I really gotta go.
Wish I could forget you but I don't know how,
Cuz everytime I turn around....

It's always sumthin' everyday remindin' me,
Everywhere I go there's a memory.
Ready and a waitin' to catch me off guard,
There's no way to prepare my heart.
OH What I wouldn't give, What I wouldn't do,
If only I could just stop missin' you.
I'd let go of our love, Like it was never nuthin',
But it's always.....

Something everyday remindin' me,
Everywhere I go there's a memory.
Ready and a waitin' to catch me off guard,
There's no way to prepare my heart.
OH What I wouldn't give, What I wouldn't do,
If only I could just stop missin' you.
I'd let go of our love, Like it was never nuthin',
But it's always Somethin'

It's always Somethin'

It's always Somethin'

OOOOHH it's always Somethin'

The she/male jumps off the table and almost falls because of his high heals. He then looks to Darkwood.

Singer: Buy me a drink mate?

Darkwood: Um, okay, I guess.

The singer holds out his hand to shake, and at that moment Darkwood realizes something strange about the man, he has yellow eyes.

Singer: Name's Aragorn fellow, but me mates just call me Gorn.

Darkwood: Darkwood.

The Two shake hands, and then order from the bar. Darkwood of course gets milk, Gorn gets some strange concoction.

Darkwood: What's that?

Gorn: You dun't wanna know mate.

Darkwood: ahhhh. So you're wolfkin huh?

Gorn: Yeah how'd ya figure? They're some right good blokes I tell ya, but every once in a while I need a vacation from it all. So I come here and sing.

Darkwood: I hear ya there mate... um, I mean Gorn. But why'd you pick upbeat country songs to sing? You don't seem like the country music type. And why this bar at all? I mean all that ever comes in here is Ogier right?

Gorn: I sing country because it's in my heart mate, I just love it. Don't tell anyone I said that, or I'll give ya a right good ass whippin'. As for this bar, well mate, I like my women hairy. And you can tell everyone I said that. heh.

Completely lost for conversation at this point DW just sits quietly. Gorn turns to him.

Gorn: If you don't mind mate I like to drink alone, why don't ya go over there with the others. Or go find me some women, bloody hell, I come here and all I get is men. If I don't get some ladies in here soon I'm gonna start dry humping some poor fella's leg eh.

Darkwood: Yeah well going over there sounds like a good idea right now, you have a good rest of the show there Gorn.

Darkwood walks quickly over to the table with all the Ogier.

Darkwood: Mind if I sit down?

The oldest Ogier Darkwood has ever seen looks up from his hand.

Decrepit Old Ogier: Nah go ahead son. My names Guilder, I'm the Eldest of Stedding Madan, this here's Druark, over there's Dalain, finally there's Arnam, don't ask about his fairy.

Arnam: Someone say fairy, I have a fairy, she's a harvest fairy you know?

Dalain: Shut about the damn fairy already Arnam, let's just play cards. You in kid?

Darkwood takes a moment to think about this.

Darkwood: I've never played cards before. By the way name's Darkwood.

Guilder: Yup he's in. time to fleece the youth all.

Darkwood: Excuse me?

Guilder: Oh nothing, don't worry about it.

Guilder proceeds to deal Darkwood in.

Dalain: So what brings you to the stedding Darkwood? I'm a bit of history buff. I like to know stuff.

Darkwood: Well actually I came to find a bride.

The table goes silent for a long period of time. Arnam notes the silence and pipes up.

Arnam: I don't need a bride, I have a fairy! did I tell you I have a fairy? she's great!

Dalain backhands Arnam across the face

Dalain: Look we know about the damn fairy alright man. Now knock it off with that! So you're looking for a bride eh Darkwood? Well hopefully a night in the same room as Druark and Guilder will cure you off that. heh heh.

Guilder chuckles and puts a finger upside of his nose, not actually sure why he's doing it, but it seems all the other Ogier do it so he figures he better to, to look all Chief Elder like.

Guilder: Hey now, don't frighten the boy. Marriage isn't that bad.... ya know, unless your wife shows up day after day with a new kid.

raises his voice to a high falsetto

'Here Guilder, another one for ya.'

Back to normal voice.

'Great hon, what is that Five now!? oh that's just freakin' Super!!!'

back to the high falsetto

'But Guilder, are you angry with me? well maybe I'll just run off with the pool boy Tan'el then. What do you say about that!'

Back to normal voice.

'And leave me all alone with this FOOKIN' Litter!? are you nuts! I don't even like half these kids!!!'

At this point Dalain interrupts Guilder.

Dalain: Hey calm down man, you're gonna have another heart attack

Guilder: Yeah and it'll be all her fault!!!!!

Dalain: Yes and I'm sure it'll just break her up too.

Guilder: Oh now what is that supposed to mean eh?!

Druark: I like my marriage, she just bought us a dog you know. ohhh what a cute widdle doggy it is too.

Guilder: Oh just give em a while, women are like rabbits. When you're out of the picture they'll just find someone else!

Dalain: Hey calm down, both of you. As you can see Darkwood Guilder's a tad bitter, and well, Druark is a tad naive.

Guilder: You're damn Right I'm bitter!!!!

Druark: What do you mean? I love my snugglekins.

Dalain: Okay so more than a tad. Yet there are some good things about marriage.

Darkwood: What like the sex right?

Dalain chuckles again, which Darkwood assumes can't be a good sign, and spittle starts flying from Guilder's mouth, which is even more indicative. Druark just sits silently like he's never heard the word before.

Guilder: You'd think huh?! You'd think that'd be a good part.... but oh hell no. And do you know why Darkwood? Do you have any freakin' clue? well I'll tell ya.

Mimics a slighter higher falsetto than the one to indicate he's speaking for his ex-wife.

'No Guilder, Ogier sex doesn't happen in the books, therefore Ogier don't have sex, it's simple DM RP logic.'

Back to regular voice

'But Serafelle, c'mon, it's just common sense. where do Ogier babies come from? why do Loail's ear's twitch when he's around a pretty Ogier girl! They gotta do it!!!!'

back to the falsetto again.

'I'm sorry, if it's not in the books it's not at DM. tough luck Guilder, oh and tell Joram I said hi. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH'

Dalain again interrupts to save the day.

Dalain: So that was the decision of the incarns, no sex for the Ogier.

Guilder: I haven't had any in months. MONTHS!!! and I'm an Org Leader! Women throw themselves at Org Leaders! Even Empy gets women! and he's Emp for God's Sake!!!

Dalain: Yeah they do throw themselves at the org leaders eh? it's great.... I mean, so I've heard. Anyway DW we've been having a go at Ben T but he doesn't seem any more responsive than Sera was.

Dalain points over to the other table, where an Ogier and human have been sitting arguing since DW came in.

Dalain: That's Koran, he's the guy we sent to argue, said something about being dashing or something. I think the boys got a hero complex if you ask me. Anyway he's been over there long enough, Druark, go over and argue, tell Koran he's done.

Druark: But I've never had sex before! how can I argue the merits of something I'm never likely to have in my lifetime?

Dalain: Just do it. You feeling better Guilder?

Guilder in a high falsetto voice: Take out the trash Guilder, mow the lawn Guilder, here's another one Guilder, this one's a boy! BLOOD AND BLOODY FLAMIN' ASHES!!!!

Dalain: Guess not.

Darkwood turns his attention to the table where Ben T and now Druark argue.

Druark: Please?

Ben T: No.

Druark: Pretty please?

Ben T: No.

Druark: I'll be your best friend.

Ben T: No.

Druark: Awww c'mon!

Ben T: No.

Druark: ooooh please with sugar sprinkled on it?

Ben T: No.

Druark: Well why not?

The room suddenly goes quiet, and faced with a question that can't be answered with a yes or no Ben T let's out a warbling scream, he follows that up by jumping out of his chair and making a run for the window, where he jumps through and breaks out into the night.

Dalain: Druark...

Druark: yeah?

Dalain: What did I tell you about asking Ben something other than a yes or no question?

Druark: Not to do it?

Dalain: exactly.

Guilder in high falsetto: I am the Lord of the Morning!!! Bow down!!! Bow Down!!!

Dalain: Okay sorry bout this DW but when he gets like this we have to take him home. Druark, Koran, take Guilder home. Darkwood, if you're really interested in a bride I'd suggest stopping by Stedding Madan tomorrow. We have quite a few beautiful women there who are unwed. Especially young Tae, I certainly hope I live to see that young beauty's wedding.

Darkwood: Um, Okay I'll be there tomorrow then.

Dalain: Excellent. see you then, and don't let Guilder and Druark get you down, they're idiots.

With that Dalain leaves, Darkwood sits back and thinks about what just happened.

Arnam: Pssst. hey Darkwood, I have a fairy.

Before Darkwood can respond Dalain pops his head back in.

Dalain: C'mon now Arnam, you're fairy's probably waiting at home for you, let's go now.

Arnam bounds up out of his chair and runs for the door.

Darkwood wanders up to the bar, figuring he'll catch the next Gorn performance. Gorn stepped up on a table again, and grabbed his guitar.

She couldn't keep from cryin',
When She told me goodbye.
And I knew Lord it was breakin' her heart,
and she was breakin' mine.

So for the sake of her feelings and the sake of my pride
I told her not to worry bout' me.
So I'm sitting here soaking up the neon lights,
misery lookin' for some, company.

And tonight I'm lookin' for a party crowd,
Slammin' em back, and Laughing out loud
With the smoke so think, the blues can't hang around.
With the jukebox a jumpin' like it just don't care
If they're dancing over here, or fightin' over there.
I'm making the rounds, looking for a party crowd

It'll dawn on me tomorrow, wherever I wake up.
I'll look back and try to recall, just where the heck's my truck
So take my keys and lock em up tight,
Let the good times flow,
And I'll worry bout tomorrow when it comes to light,
The night's still young and I'm on a roll.

Tonight I'm lookin' for a party crowd,
Slammin' em back, and Laughing out loud
With the smoke so think, the blues can't hang around.
With the jukebox a jumpin' like it just don't care
If they're dancing over here, or fightin' over there.
I'm making the rounds, looking for a party crowd

Gorn begins to rock out on his guitar.

Yes and tonight I'm lookin' for a party crowd,
Slammin' em back, and Laughing out loud
With the smoke so think, the blues can't hang around.
With the jukebox a jumpin' like it just don't care
If they're dancing over here, or fightin' over there.
I'm making the rounds, looking for a party crowd

Yes and tonight I'm lookin' for a party crowd,
Slammin' em back, and Laughing out loud
With the smoke so think, the blues can't hang around.
With the jukebox a jumpin' like it just don't care
If they're dancing over here, or fightin' over there.
I'm making the rounds, looking for a party crowd

Darkwood began to applaud but almost immediately when the song ended Almond Joy rushed in the door.

Mounds: TROLLOC!!! It's a TROLLOC!!!

Sure enough right behind him a trolloc poked it's head in.

Trolloc: Me Gorakh, Novice here?

Mounds: There are no novices here! Now Shooo! Shoo trolloc!

Gorakh: What about singer, singer pretty.

Gorn: You like what you see mate? well c'mon over bigguy.

Gorakh: eeeewwww

Gorakh takes off running through the door with Aragorn on his tail.

Gorn: Comeon back here handsome!

Mounds: Well that was odd, anyway back to my cart.

And with that the common room is empty except for Darkwood and the innkeeper/bartender.

Darkwood: Can I get a room please? Just for the Night.

Bartender: You thinkin' bout visitin' the stedding tomorrow?

Darkwood: That's the plan.

WHAT AWAITS DARKWOOD AT STEDDING MADAN?
WILL HE FIND HIS BRIDE THERE?
ALL THIS AND MORE NEXT TIME,
FOR THE FINALE.

Darkwood,
Errant Youth,
Searching for a bride.