June 27^th

Unbelievable, I am trying to send an e-mail to the Carpe Diem Guesthouse telling them that my credit card was lost and to use another number. Comcast blacklisted my e-mail saying that I am spamming because I use the words "Credit Card". Here I get ten to fifteen spam e-mails a day and they block me for sending one e-mail. I rarely get ticked off, but this is really getting me mad, I think they really have nerve to tell me I am spamming just because of the words I use in my e-mail.

In trans news, I went to an outreach at a university in the southern part of the state today. Since the class was in the morning I was planning on going out to eat and then up to the Wadsworth Antheneum with some friends. But instead we went out to eat with the professor and we didn't finish lunch until two-thirty, so I called it a day and went home.

June 25^th

I went to the Twenty Club meeting today and there was a light turn out with only about ten people there. So it was a slow meeting, nothing much was talked about except for planning the picnic.

Afterwards, I went over to the Mexican restaurant with a couple of friends for dinner.

June 23^rd

A great couple of days, tonight I went to the Gender Identity Clinic of New England to support a friend who was going before the board. Afterwards we went out to eat a Ruby Tuesday and then shopping at Kmart and a shoe store.

Last night was the last COS meeting of the year and we had a good turn out of eleven members and guests.

Tomorrow night I was planning on going to the Gay Bingo, but no one else seems to want to go. So I will stay home and work on the clients web-site.

June 19^th

I when to a party yesterday to send off a friend who is having her surgery next week. I will be thinking of you and praying for a swift recovery.

But now I have to pay the piper for all of the partying I have been doing the last couple of days, I have to mow the lawn and work on a web-site that I do for a friend's business.

June 18^th

Last night I went to the Project 100 fund raiser that they had call "Medieval Merriment An Evening of Music & Medieval Mayhem!", which a was a dinner where you eat with your hands while the actors perform a musical and are dressed in Renaissance costumes. We all had a good time as one of my friends put it, "It beats and evening of watching TV." and that reflected my thoughts and also the money went for a good cause.

June 16^th

Tonight we Real Art Ways Creative Cocktail Hour, as usual I met some real interesting people there. I can't believe how many people that I have met since I came out of the closet. I was always in my little shell, now it has opened up and I really like the world that I see out there. There are some many real and fascinating people out there.

I am still not all the way out of my shell, I am still shy and quite, but I am trying to come all the way out of the shell. Give me time and I think I will.

June 12^th

PM

Had some friends over this evening for a cookout and I made country ribs, baked beans and potato salad. It was a nice quite evening sitting around talking, nice and relaxing.

AM

Yesterday was a double day, Twenty Club and COS meeting day. At the Twenty Club there were some new faces and we also had some good discussions, I brought up some good news that I had about my family acceptance. One step at a time, that is all I can hope for and last week was one of those small steps. I will leave you hanging because I don't want to go in to details. Also during the meeting somebody asked a question about feeling comfortable in going out in public and I answers saying that we all have our own comfort zone and we just have to stay within our own zones. Pushing the envelope at our own pace.

After the meeting I rushed home to get the stuff for the COS meeting, by the stuff, I mean the box of newsletters from COS and other groups that we get, also all the food. The meeting was a pizza party and we had eleven people there, including one spouse. The three pizzas went fast but for some reason nobody wants to take the last piece.

I did feel down over one thing, I went for the pizza with a friend and when we got to the pizzeria there were motorcycles parked out side and a whole bunch of guys standing around outside smoking. I froze up and couldn't go inside. Talk about comfort zone, bang, I walked right into one and it hits you like a brick. It is something that I just have to work out, I just can't go around in life afraid of doing thing that I have to do in order to have a meaningful life.

June 8^th

I had a great night last night, believe it or not because no one showed up for dinner. I posted on the COS e-group if anyone wanted to go to dinner and the movies that I was going to the Coyote Flaco restaurant in Hartford followed by the Gay and Lesbian Film Festival at Trinity College. Well I didn't get any takers so I went by myself. I have never, that I can remember have ever gone to a restaurant by myself. But last night I did, I just wanted to go out and eat and I wasn't going to let anything stop me. I had a very good meal and went over to Trinity after dinner. I bought my ticket and went out and sat on the picnic table, slowly people I know started showing up, in total about ten or twelve people I know from the GLBT community. The theater was stiffing hot, they need to have the air-conditioner turned on. The movie shorts were just barely OK, but the main feature was excellent!

It was "Beautiful Boxer" and it was a true story about Thai kickboxer Nong Toom and her struggles to become a women. She turns to kickboxing to raise money for her family and for her surgery. The movie covers her life as a small boy who dreams of becoming a women, how she over came her fear of violence to become a champion kickboxer winning 20 out of 22 matches. As I aid the movie was excellent and won many awards.

During intermission I talked to a friend about lobbing for including gender in the Connecticut Anti-discrimination law. How I wanted to help out lobbing state legislators next scission.

June 4^th

I went out last night to dinner and then to the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Film Festival ( I wish that they would change the name to be more inclusive. ) with a friend. We went to the Goldroc Diner and then over to Trinity for the movies. A couple of other COS members said that they wanted to go but they never showed up. Oh well, maybe next time, it is always hard to go out in public for the first time. I remember my first times and it a hard thing to do. Many of times I went and just sat out in the car trying to get up enough courage to go inside and never doing it, just read some of my early entries ( Oct 6^th 2000 ) and you see all the fear.

The movies were on average good, some I didn't like others were very good. The ones I didn't like are "Charisma" and "Far West", the one I liked was "Prom-troversy" and the main feature "My Summer of Love" was I thought, just OK even though it won the British Academy of Film and Television Arts for British Film of 2004. I guest they just have different tastes. At Trinity we say a couple of friends so we went over to join them to watch the movies with.

Afterwards we went to the Opening Night Party and I met other people that I know from around the community. We stayed until around eleven-thirty.

June 2^nd

Whew! I just got back from dinner at the Pond House in Elizabeth Park. I had dinner with some five friends and it was really a nice time. The food was good, the wine was good ( a little too good. ) and the friends were great. I had a Tuscany Caesar salad, crab cakes and a raspberry sorbet for desert. Afterwards we walked around the gardens, looking at all the flowers and some of the early roses that were out.

I had a sleeveless dress on and a pair of sandals, it was getting chilly and there was dew on the grass as we walked around the gardens in the twilight. It made it a nice ended for a nice night out.

May 28^th

I went to a picnic this afternoon at a friend's house today, another friend came up to my house and I drove us over to the picnic. I had a nice relaxing afternoon with friends and some their friends that I hadn't met before. We got there around three and left at eight, just before the rains got there.

Stupid me, I asked my friend if she got everything and I walk off forgetting the drink jug, DUH.......... They are going to bring it to me on Monday. Thank you. Thank you.

May 25^th

May 22^nd

There was an article in the Hartford Courant's Northeast magazine today about Yale's Trans Week. I think that the article was good over all and also the Courant put it on the front page.

When I read the story, I realized that most of the transpeople she talks about I have met and friends with two of them. I knew at the time that there was a reporter there from the Courant, but it's been so long that I thought they killed the article.

Last night I went to the Project 100 Community Center's Sprague Theater to see "Hollywood Canteen" a show that was done by the ISCoAC. It was OK, it was worth the night out and it was a fundraiser to help Project 100. It was a USO type of show and they had different songs from the '40s which they preformed. They also had singer Lorrie Wesoly who sung a number of her own songs. I went by myself but a lot of people from Project 100 that I knew were there and also a member from COS. The show started a little after eight and got over at ten-thirty.

So it's been a busy week....... Thursday Real Art Ways, Friday the gender play "Queer 101" and Saturday the "Hollywood Canteen". Next week is the COS meeting on Wednesday, Mohegan Sun Friday, Twenty Club on Saturday and a picnic at my house on Monday. Whew! ! ! !

May 20^th

Tonight I went to a one person play by Peterson Toscano entitled "Queer 101" sponsored by the CT Youth Forum and the Charter Oak Culture Center in Hartford. It was really great! I got there a little late and the play had already started, he was at the part of the play where they were discussing a funny part about the history of queer back though out time. The part that I liked was the poem at the end of the play on activism, it struck a cord with me. The part of the poem that he said about walking tall and being proud, it brought out some of my feeling when I walk down Main ST. Hartford.

After the play they had the audience break up into small discussion group, which was neat. I was with four other women as we went over the four discussion question. One women said the she was the advisor of a Gay/Straight Alliance ( GSA ) at a high school and she was there with some of her students, I think we all learned something.

May 19^th

It is the third Thursday of the month, so that means RAW Creative Cocktail Party and tonight it was hopping. It was mobbed!

It's always a good time, meet new people or just having a good time people watching. We were talking to this woman who gave me some advice on what colors to wear, more hot colors rather than neutrals. Any how there were four other friends there from COS. We had our picture taking so there a good chance that we will be up on their web-site again ( We were on it last month. ).

You do not want to go there to RAW unless you don't mind ending up on their web-site. It is a very "Out" place, fun and safe, but very public.

May 15^th

It was another exciting week.........yeah right! Nothing special happen this week, I went up to the uniTy meeting in Springfield at the coffee house on Thursday, yesterday was the Twenty Club and the COS meetings. The only thing exciting at the uniTy meeting was a bunch of neighborhood sub-teenagers saw us and started heckling us until we chased them off. I know that it upset one of the members and she was saying she might not go back, which would be too bad. The kids would have won.

The Twenty Club meeting was OK with a good turn out but nothing earth shattering happen. Between meeting I had to run home and pick up a backup copy of the COS web-site that I was going to give another member, so I missed out in eating out with some friends between the meetings. It turned out that she didn't show at the meeting, oh well.

We had a good turn-out at the COS meeting, one new guest and also a spouse of a crossdressers came. I think it was a good meeting, I know I enjoyed it and didn't get home until just before midnight. There was no formal topic for the meeting, we just sat around and talked.

I ordered a couple of pairs of shoes and they arrived yesterday, I ordered a pair of sandals and a pair of sneakers. The sneakers fit ok, but the sandals are the type that fits between your big toe and the other toes. Well I tried them on and they just hurt too much the straps hurt the tops of my toes and the straps between the toes hurts also. I'm going to have to send them back.

May 6^th

Tuesday I went to an Outreach at a university in the southern part of the state with another couple and also with a former Twenty Club member. There were two classes, one at 12:30 and the other at 3:30. The professor likes to split us up and we each talk to a smaller group and then we switch groups. It works out nice that way we get to talk to a smaller group also it more intimate and the questions flow easier.

After the first class we went to the faculty cafeteria for lunch, I would have preferred to go to the restaurant in New Haven on Whalley Ave. the food would have been a lot better.

The rest of the week I was busy working on stuff for COS and working on a client's web-site.

May 1^st

Today I went up to Northampton MA. for their Pride Day celebration with a couple of friends. The day started out wet and rainy but when we got there the rain had stopped, the sun was breaking out from behind the clouds and it turned into a beautiful day. It was like old home week, I kept bumping into friends while I wandered around. They were either at booths or they were just up at the Pride Day. One thing that you will notice if you ever get out and about is that our community is small and that you will see many of the same faces at these events. It is also easy to make new friends because of that.

After we were there awhile, I went with a friend up to Main Street and we went shopping at some of the stores that were open. Around four we left and headed home, it's about a one hour drive for me and I had work still to do around the house.

I see that we made the Real Art Ways Creative Cocktail Hour photo gallery again this month. One thing that if you do go out is that you have to be prepared for, is that some day you may end up more "Out" then you expect to be.

April 24^th

I just came back from the "Marriage Equality" rally in Hartford on the south entrance to the capital. I would estimate that there were about 200 - 250 people there, a lot less then last year.

Now I just have to nervously wait to see if I can be identified on the evening news or the newspapers. I think my disguise was pretty good, a wig and dark glasses, but mostly I worry about newspapers. TV the picture is there and then it's gone, but with a newspaper you have time to look at the picture. So why do I go? It's easy I think that it is important be there, to be counted, for the GLB community to know that was support them and hope when our time comes that they will support us.

A friend who is a transman said something once that stuck with me, he said, "When I was a lesbian I was protected from discrimination now that I transitioned I am not loner protected from discrimination."

April 23^rd PM

Today was the Twenty Club meeting; we had an average turn-out of about ten people two of them new. There weren't that many gender issues so it was more social than support.

Afterwards, five of us, including one of the new persons went to the Mexican restaurant for dinner. Then I had to rush home after dinner and do my Wonder Woman to Superman trick in order to go to a party with some friends that I have known since elementary school. Some day maybe I surprise them and show up as Diana, yeah right.

April 23^rd

Tonight I went to the Real Art Ways Creative Cocktail Party, I haven't been in a while because of other commitments, but I finally made it. I went to supper at Goldroc Dinner first with a friend from COS and then we headed over to RAW where we joined up with another friend from COS.

I always enjoy going to the cocktail party because you always meet a lot of interesting people and it's nice to meet people who are not trans. I suppose it works both ways that they like to meet us. The Hartford Courant had a nice article about the Real Art Ways, it said "There are people who live here who are hungry for an urban experience, who like being around people who are different than they are, who are interested in new and challenging things... When you come to these RAW events, they are filled with Puerto Ricans, African Americans, West Indians, whites, gays, straights, transgendered people, the young and the old. It actually feels like a city, and there aren't many places in Hartford where you can get that. The real potential for this city is breaking down those walls."

So I guess we're the trend setters.

April 20^th

Last night I went up to Uconn with a couple of friends to hear Nancy Nangeroni and Gordene O. MacKenzie from "Gender Talk" talk at the Rainbow Center. They gave a very interesting presentation, they started off with definitions, then the history of their involvement in the gender movement and they then talked about legal and health issues. The talk started around six fifteen and ended a little after nine, we stuck around for a while talking to them. I mentioned that the first time I ever went out in public was when they talked at the COS Banquet back in May of 2000.

April 17^th

I went up to a party in Florence, MA last night I had a good time talking to friends I didn't have a chance to talk to at the COS Banquet. But, it was a long drive all by myself, just about an hour each way. The party was sponsored by the Pioneer Valley Community Network which is made up of Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition, East Coast Female to Male, The Sunshine Club and UniTy, which is a loose group of transgender organizations that are trying to network together and coordinate activities.

It was held at a VFW hall and when I got out of the car to go in I had my fingers crossed that that was the right place. Could you imagine if it wasn't the right night or hall walking in to a VFW hall en-femme? But, it was and I did have a good time.

April 16^th

Agggh.........#!$&#! I was working on a customers web-site this morning when poof my computer shut down. The UPS beeped, my monitor went black but was still on and the fans stopped in my computer. My power supply went in the computer and I spent all morning running around looking for a new one so I could finish my client's new web page. It was NOT how I wanted to spend my Saturday morning.

Tonight it's off to Northampton for a party.

April 15^th

It looks like that our Connecticut state legislature will pass the Civil Union bill with one additional amendment, that marriage is between a man and a woman.

Let me ask them a simple question, "How do you define a man or a woman?" With some people wanting to limit marriage to a man and a woman, I think we have to ask the question because it is not as simple as it sounds. Do you define with chromosomes or the ability to have children? Either way there are problems with those definitions.

Would you define a man as having XY chromosomes and a woman as having XX chromosomes? Well that would be wrong because there are some women have XY chromosomes, they have a condition call Complete Androgen Intensively Syndrome (CAIS). To all outward appearance they are female, but their chromosomes are XY. Their bodies cannot process testosterone and their body will develop as a sterile female, usually it's not detected until they are trying to conceive. A man can be a XX chromosomes male, a female with Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (C.A.H.) produces too much testosterone and at birth they would be labeled as a sterile male.

There is also a condition called "Intersexed" which can be caused by Partial Androgen Intensively Syndrome (PAIS) or also by various differences in chromosomes such as XXY, XYY, XO and other variations in chromosomes. These variations results in a variety of combination of male and female organs. And how common is this, well read what the Intersexed Society of North America has said it is about one in a hundred births or one percent. Some medical textbooks put it as high as one in a hundred thousand, but I think those numbers are way out of date, more recent studies put the number at one in one thousand five hundred. So how do doctors determine whether it's a boy or girl, why they measure it, if it's under 0.9 cm ( 3/8") it a girl and if it's over 2.5 cm (1") it's a boy if it lays in between their intersexed.

Now our courts will have to decide who is a man and who is a woman, how will they decide? Will it be a binary model that fits neatly into boxes? Will they see the Spectrum of Diversity and take a realistic approach, declare the law unconstitutional because it doesn't give equal rights to those who are intersexed. The International Olympic Committee tried to figure that out and gave up.

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April 10^th

Another year has gone by and another Banquet. This year we had the largest turn-out ever, beating lasts years total by one. We had guests from Boston, Northern New Jersey, Northampton MA and even from Ohio ( They were visiting Connecticut and noticed our banquet. ). Our guest speaker was enjoyable, she talked about the True Colors Conference and how it got started. Last month conference had an attendance of 1600 on Friday and 900 on Saturday. They came from all over the United States and Canada.

I had to introduce the speaker and also hand our the awards, it's funny I always get tongue tied when I speak to an audience, but when I do an outreach, I have no problem speaking to the class. We had several new members come and the all had a good time. I think that they were a little awed being there at the banquet, just to see some many TG individuals in one place having a good time.

Today, we had a number of guests who had stayed over and we all meet for breakfast. Some of us came en-femme and others it was fun trying to figure out who they were in boy mode. But, the party's over and it's back to work tomorrow, when someone asks "what did you do over the weekend?" my answer will be "Oh, nothing much". But, I will be secretly smiling remembering the weekend.

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April 9^th

This week has been a rather slow week, mainly just doing my taxes. You heard of those, haven't you?

However, last night I did something that for me was......WILD! A friend came up for the banquet a day early just to relax, so we went out to dinner. Not any safe place that I been to before or some place that was already trannytized. But an entirely new place, I picked Middletown because it just right down the road from where the banquet will be held. I went to Yahoo and printed out a list of restaurants and just picked one a random, it was an Italian restaurant on College St. Well the place was mobbed, but we got a seat with no wait. Nobody batted an eye lash, said anything or did anything and it was a perfectly enjoyable meal. And the food was excellent.

Well now to pack for the Banquet this evening, I'm going to stay over so I won't have to worry about driving home afterwards.

April 2^nd

As you can tell from my last posting, I have been under the weather and also busy working on a clients web-site. I found a new Javascript to use on her web-site and here that should also help with navigating around my diary pages.

Anyhow, not much else happen this week except I went to Three Rivers Community College in Norwich with a couple of friends to listen to Amy Bloom talk about "Her new book", well it turned out to be the same book that she talked about at the COS Banquet a couple of years ago. But it still was interesting because it was a different audience and the questions they asked were interesting to hear coming from a straight audience ( we were the only token trannies in the audience at least that I knew of. ). I did enjoy it and was glad I went.

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March 28^th

Don't you just love it! You are standing in the check-out line, with a red nose, all congested, buy all types of cold remedies and the clerk says "Have a nice day"

March 25^th

Opps 1 ..... As many of you know, I manage the COS web-site, well it went down today so I e-mailed the hosting company. Well I also have my own private web-site hosted with them and that went down also. So I e-mailed the hosting company about it going down, I normally use two different e-mail accounts to do it so I can keep my identity a secret. Well I e-mailed them on my male e-mail account and got distracted from a phone call and I then when back an e-mailed them about the COS account. Just after I clicked Send I noticed it was still my male e-mail account! ! ! ! ! Opps......

Opps 2 ...... At work I was talking to someone about Colon Cancer how we both knew a couple of people that had it and about the importance of having a colonoscopy. I mentioned how the person I knew had a really bad time with chemotherapy, that her and her wife! ! ! ! Opps.....

Oh, when our worlds collide, it sure makes life interesting.

March 19^th

Well the twelve True Colors conference has ended and I had a good time. I went to a seminar today entitled "Providing Transgender Inclusive Health Care Services" which was about how health care agencies can make a visit to the doctors more trans friendly and how to be aware of the needs for the transgender community. There were not too many there but it made it a small intimate group where I think there was more discussion than would have been than in a larger group.

I met a lot of old friends and made more new friends. I always like to get feedback from our members who attend for the first time, it's nice to hear the awe in their voice as they talk about it and it reminds me so much of my first time there. I just so glad that we have this excellent training tool in our back yard.

March 18^th

I just got back from True Colors conference and I am always amazed at the high quality of the people attending the conference.

I was at the COS/Twenty Club table for most of the day and I only went to one presentation. I went to showing of "No Dumb Questions", a film by Melissa Regan and she was there to talk about, it was great to get the insight of how and why the film was made, but what I thought was even better was the audience. She asked around the room to tell why they were there, except for me and a couple of friends the all were guidance consolers, social workers or some way connected with kids and the learning process. A friend and her sister was there and before the presentation they had done one of their own presentation called "My brother...err, I mean sister". I was talking to the sister after the film presentation and she was saying just how impressed she was of the whole conference, that she thought it was just great the so many educators are showing an interest in learning about GLBTQI.

Tomorrow I go back again to sit at our table and talk about transgender issues.

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March 13^th

Yesterday, the Twenty Club meeting was off and on again because of the snow. But it was finally on and I went to it, the turn-out was good despite the iffy nature of the meeting. We talked about some heavy issues that were on some of our minds and also we got in to a discussion on the television show "South Park", I guess that the show had a character on it who is trans. I guess they had about Dr. Biber and Trinidad CO and we were trying to figure out if it was derogatory or not. We decided that it is an equal opportunity discriminator, that the story line was no worst or better then other story lines that they had in the past.

After the meeting some of us went to the Gold Roc Café for dinner and then over to the COS meeting. At the meeting we had the famous COS Obstacle Course, what's that you ask? Well we video tape you as you walk, sit down, pick up a pencil on the floor and then get a book off the self. Sounds hokey doesn't it? Believe it or not we all had a lot of fun and for a number of members they have never seen themselves, so it gives them a chance to critique themselves. Anyhow I didn't get home until midnight.

Coming up this week is Real Art Ways Creative Cocktail party on Thursday and then the True Colors Conference on Friday and Saturday. I will be at the table that COS and the Twenty Club are sharing both days.

March 11^th

I went to the uniTy meeting last night at the coffeehouse in Longmeadow and there was a good turnout for it. We were rather jovial, the jokes and jabs were flying all night.

You know when I first started writing this blog, you could see the wonder and awl I experienced. How everything was new, the words flowed freely, now look at the above paragraph, it's like "Oh hum, just another night out." My, how times have changed. The glitz and glitter have worn off and now going out has become so mundane. Not that I am complaining, it just says so much at how far I have progressed, that another night out as Diana has become the normal for me. As I have said before there are still areas that I don't go by myself, but they are getting fewer. I feared pumping gas, now I do it. I feared walking into a restaurant by myself, now I walked down Main St. in Hartford and walked into a restaurant there by myself, now I do it regularly. Slowly the barriers are falling, one by one.

Five years ago I would never have dreamed, well yeah dreamed but never have believed I would be doing it and five years from now who knows what barriers will be left as I conquer my fears.

March 6^th

Last night I went to the Imperial Sovereign Court of All of Connecticut's Investments ceremony at the Chez Est in Hartford it was a fund raiser for Project 100 GLBT Center in Hartford ( That's were the Twenty Club meets ) and True Colors ( A GLBT Youth mentoring organization. ). I got there a little after it began, stayed until round eleven and I went to show support from the trans community, there were only about five of us there from Twenty Club.

Today I went walking at the MDC Reservoir #6 with a friend, she talked me into going as Diana, so we went walking en-femme. While we were walking it clouded over and a squall line went through bring a heavy snow shower with it. The temperature dropped, wind started to blow and the snow was coming down horizontal. I froze, I didn't have a hat, my hair was getting all snow covered and the snow was freezing to my glasses. We made it back a little wet and cold, but ok.

March 4^th

Last night I went to a panel discussion at the Charter Oak Culture Center in Hartford. The forum was moderated by one of the founders of the Gender Identity Clinic of New England and the panel was made up of other trans individuals from around the area. There were about fifty people that came to hear the discussion which was encouraging. As I have said before it always nice to see an audience that come to learn about transgenderism. That they take the time to come out on a cold Thursday night really says something about some people willingness to understand, but I also realize that there are fifty-thousand people in Hartford and only about forty non-trans people showed up.

Anyhow, those that came asked some good questions. One question was something to the effect, "How does Transsexuals fit into Women's Space and how does it affect the Women's Movement?" I think that it strengthen it, because it make you ask the question to yourself, what makes a Women. Is it chromosomes? Than what about a person with chromosomes of XXY are they a woman? Is it the ability to have babies? Then what about a sterile woman? Is it body appearance? Than what about a XY that has Antigen Insensitivity Syndrome, where none of the male organs develop and to all outward appearance is a female, is she a women? So what makes a man or women? Gender is not binary, it is a continuum.

Febuary 28^th

Very Interesting! ! ! ! I came across this link about gender and I thought to share it with you.

Defining Male And Female -- Research Casts Further Doubt On Newborn Sex-assignment Surgeries

Febuary 25^th

Phew..... it's been a busy week! Monday electrolysis, Tuesday the forum at Yale, Wednesday the COS meeting and last night was the Vagina Monologues at the Charter Oak Cultural Center in Hartford and the snow storm last night didn't help it any.

At the COS meeting we had a very good attendance and the topic for the Koffee Klatch which was "TG Safety Tip You Can Live By" went well and we had a number of first timers. We had a good discussion and a lot of input about what to watch out for and do. Some of the ideas were rather basic, avoid dark places, park under a street light, if you are going someplace new go before hand and check it out. You know, just the basic common sense that women develop and that we have to learn.

Thursday night I went with a friend to watch the monologues. It was very good, it was fast paced, witty, sometimes sexy, sometime the humor was subtle and sometime it was in your face. Some of the monologues also were very serious, especially when they talk about rape, violence, about genital mutilation and spousal abuse. As you could imagine the audience was made up of mostly women with a few men that got dragged along.

When I left, the snow was really coming down; we had a couple of inches by the time we got out and it made driving very bad. Over night we got around five inches.

Febuary 23^rd

Last night I went down to Yale to a forum they had as part of their Transgender week. The forum was hosted by Helen Boyd, the author of "My Husband Betty" they had a panel of about eight speakers which included a couple of wives. I went down with a friend from COS who was on the panel, we stopped on the way down and had pizza. The discussion went very well and they had a large turn-out that came to listen. One of the questions that were asked at the end was, "You talked about all the bad stuff, but what are the good stuff about crossdressing?". Oh, I wanted so bad to answer that question because I would have said; the sense of community, the feeling of belonging, the friends and the diversity. Knowing each day will be different, before I came out of the closet, I never really did anything except watch TV and read. Now I been to plays, to museums, gone to movies, traveled, talked to legislatures, took part in a rally at the state capital, spoken at colleges and met many interesting people. No, I wouldn't change who I am, I find life so much more interesting now. If you told me five years ago that I would be walking around New Haven as Diana, I wouldn't have believed you.

After the talk we went over to a bar for a drink with some of the friends that we met at the forum and then headed home.

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Febuary 18^th

Its was a long day yesterday. I went up to Uconn for their T-Day 05, COS had a table there in the lobby of the Student Union which I "Womanned" for a couple of hours. While I was there at the table some students sat down at the table and were interested in learning more about being trans. Afterwards I went and listened to a talk giving by Debra Davis about her transition in the Minnesota school system, it was quite informative and the audience after the talk asked some good questions. Then a friend took part in the forum that they had afterwards. I had leave early because I had to meet another friend for dinner at the Mexican restaurant that we usually go to after the Twenty Club meeting. It just about took me as long to drive from Uconn to Hartford as it did to drive across Hartford to the restaurant.

After the dinner we went over to watch "They Beat the Girl Out of My Boy...or So They Tried" by Eve Ensler and "The Naked I: Monologues from Beyond the Binary" by Tobias K. Davis at the Charter Oak Cultural Center. There I met up with other friends and I got to say hi to friends I had not seen in a long time. The opening monologue starred a number of people I know from COS and around. The monologue is about trans who have transitioned and all that they had to deal with in their lives. The "Naked I" is made up of some twenty-four monologues which are thought provoking, humorous and provocative. The cultural center had such a strong turn-out for it that they held it over for a second night. If you ever get a chance to see the monologues, I would strongly recommend that you go see them. My only comment was that the two of them made it a little long, it started around eight and ended at around ten-thirty. I didn't get home until eleven-thirty which made it a VERY long day.

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Febuary 13^th

Some days it all come together, yesterday was one of them. I went to Twenty Club in the afternoon and the meeting when well and there was a good turn-out. Afterwards some of us went to a near by Mexican restaurant for dinner. What I liked about the restaurant was the food of course, but also the price and also the quick service. Dinner cost me fourteen dollars and we were out of there in forty-five minutes. That left me plenty of time to rush over to open up the COS meeting house by six thirty.

We had scheduled to have a couple of guest speakers from the Boston area come down and give a talk, but because of the weather in the Boston area they had to cancel out. But someone from the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition happened to stop by and I was able to talk her into giving a presentation on what their goals are for the 2005 legislative session. The presentation went very well and I think most of the our members enjoyed here about the Coalition efforts to get Gender included into the Anti-discrimination Law.

Febuary 6^th

I've fallen a little behind in my updates because of cable problems. Around 7pm each night my cables internet connection goes out, they ping the modem on agree that there is problem and want to replace my modem, however it works fine up until 7pm and it has been working good all weekend. So I think that it's with their network, someone's hogging the bandwidth.

Anyhow, on Wednesday night I went out with a friend ( and once again "Thank You" for allow me to drag you along ) to see a play at the Hartford Stage Company called "Bad Dates". It was a thoroughly delightfully and enjoyable play, as you can tell I liked it. The play was about a recently divorced mother of a nine year old girl and her adventures of getting back into the dating game. The play is a monologue set in her bedroom as she tells her story she's getting ready to go out on her next date. Even though the author of the play doesn't like the term, the play is a "Chick Lit", the play had a lot of sexual innuendos from the women's point of view about dating and men.

It's a good play to go see en-fem with a couple of friends.

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Febuary 1^st

I don't usually talk about politics, but I am making an exception. I want to talk about the death penalty.

I am against it.

That is mine own personal belief, I am against talking a life for any reason. But there are other arguments against the death penalty.

First, there is the injustice based on whether or not you can afford to hire the best lawyers or do you have to settle for a public defender. Those who have public defenders are more likely to get a death sentence. Is that equal justice?

Second, if you are Caucasian you are less likely to get a death sentence. Is that equal justice?

If you happen to get a prosecutor who is pro-death penalty as opposed to a prosecutor who doesn't pursue it as zealously. Is that equal justice?

The same holds true with judges, its just luck on which type of judge that is assigned to a case. Is that equal justice?

Also, if the family of the murder victim happens to strongly believe in the death penalty vs. a family who pleas for mercy or if there is more sympathy for the victim or family, a mother with children vs. a drunken bum. Who is the jury more likely to give the death sentence to? Is that equal justice?

The death penalty should be applied equally across the board and not on a whim, nor based on a district attorney's political ambitions. It should not be used as a plea bargaining tool, you plead guilty or we will seek the death penalty, the Hobson choice. You should not have to gamble with you life, if you are innocent but they have a strong circumstantial case against do you plea to manslaughter or take you chances with murder one?

There have been a number of prisoners on death row that later were found to be innocent, but were convicted because of lazy defense attorneys, prosecutors who withholds evidence favorable to the defense, witnesses who made a mistake or DNA tests were not available at the time of their conviction. Once you execute a person you can't go back and say "Ops…I'm sorry but we made a mistake".

Our justices system is imperfect and the death penalty does not allow for mistakes.

January 30^th

Friday night I went out to dinner at the "City Steam", we had a nice dinner and they were very accommodating when we showed up with a party of five instead of four. They went out of their way to accommodate a bunch off mixed up Trannies on a Friday night. Afterwards we went over to Real Art Ways for a fund raiser for "True Colors" and there eight of us who showed up from the Transgender Community . I think that we made a good impression on them because of the large number of us.

Today, I went out hiking with a friend at the MDC reservoir #6 in West Hartford. I went in boy mode because I'm still not that comfortable going out hiking as Diana, its too secluded. The weather was beautiful, sunny and around 37 ^oF, good hiking weather.

This week it's a play at the Hartford Stage Company called "Bad Dates" and on Thursday it's a movie "Southern Comfort" at the Charter Oak Culture Center in Hartford.

January 27^th

For the COS meeting last night we had a very low turn out, only five of us made it. The weather kept the numbers low, we had about 3 - 4" of snow during the day and also the driveway in to the meeting house wasn't plowed. So we just sat around and talked most of the time, we called it an early night leaving around ten.

Tonight is uniTy in Springfield and tomorrow night is a fundraiser at Real Art Ways for True Colors.

January 23^rd

I just got back from First Event in Woburn MA. and they got pounded, 24+" and out on Cape Cod 36+" with wind gusts of 82mph on Nantucket Island. When I left today ( Sunday ) at 3pm I-128 was mostly clear of snow and the Mass. Pike was just wet. Logan airport is closed until Monday stranding many friends at the hotel.

I went up on Thursday to First Event and that night I went to the Imperial Court Prom. I was a little disappointed in the fact that it started late and they only had hors d'oeuvres, for $27 I expected a little more than that. Friday I wandered around and went to one seminar. In the evening there was the fashion show and a buffet I enjoyed it. On Saturday, I met a couple of people that I had met on-line on "My Husband Betty" forum before we all had to run off in separate directions. I went to a seminar in the morning and then in the evening I went to the Awards Banquet. Saturday night brought the blizzard and the turn out for the Banquet was extremely low as most of the attendees fled before the storm struck. Sunday's brunch also had a small turnout for the same reason. There was an impromptu seminar on lobbying which I attended, after that broke up we went down to the bar and got something to eat, then we headed home.

One of the reasons that I go is to meet old friends and to make new ones. Usually you could have found me sitting in the lobby with friends. An acquaintance joked about the fact that I was usually there and that we had stacked out that spot, but that is one of the reasons I like the First Event is because friends like to just sit around and talk, to catch up on what has been happening to each other. To socialize, and that is something that can't be done on line. Sure you can talk to each other on-line but there is no real interaction.

So get out there and do something together, go to conventions or to support groups met new friends!

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January 16^th

Ugh...... I went grocery shopping in male mode today, when through the check-out, opened my wallet and no cash or credit cards. Aagh........ I left all my stuff in my purse after I went out yesterday. That's the second time I did that, this time the clerk was nice enough put my items aside while I raced home and got my driver's license, credit cards and money. When I got back to the store, I blamed it on my "kid's not returning my credit card".

Oh well, the fun of leading a double life.

January 14^th

I went up to the uniTy meeting at the coffee shop with a friend last night; it was a foggy night to drive. The only problem that I had was I ate too many cookies and brownies, I have to cut back on my snacking and watch my waist line or I won't fit into my clothes.

I have to start getting all my clothes together for "First Event", I am going up on Thursday afternoon and staying until Sunday. Once again the weather forecast is typical "First Event" weather, cold and snowy.

January 9^th

On Friday night I went alone to Winterfest the fund raiser for Project 100 that was held at the Trinity College's Chapel. They had a smaller turn-out then I expected, but I met a couple of friends there and I had a good time. The entertainment we a group call Montage, it is a theater group that meets at the Community Center and they sang songs from plays from the forty's. Including "Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B", "Take the A Train", Steam Heat" from the "Pajama Game" and many others. I had a good time and I was glad to get out and do something, I took a gamble that there would be someone I knew there and the gamble paid off.

Yesterday, I went to the Twenty Club and COS meetings. There were some new faces at the Twenty Club, including a couple who came to a COS meeting looking for support and information. After there meeting five of us when over to the Pond House for dinner and then I had to rush over to open up the COS meeting house. At the COS meeting we also had a good turn-out with a new member signing up, so we have been doing good with an average of one new member signing up at a meeting. Because of the weather we closed up a little early, around ten thirty.

January 1^st

Well all my worrying was for naught. I had eight people stop by at one time or other during the night as they drifted from one party to another and I think that we all had a good time. As a matter of fact I know we all had a good time because the party ended at two am.

Now back to bed.