| My Personal CFIDS Page |
| Let me tell you a little about myself. I grew up in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, a suburban township just a few minutes from Philadelphia. I became a Christian at an early age. After high school, I attended a Christian liberal arts college in Pennsylvania, Messiah College. This was the most fruitful time in my life, spiritually thinking. I grew tremendously in the Lord! I was a music education major; I played trumpet, tuba, and euphonium (baritone horn). I am very musical and have played piano since childhood, mostly by ear. I developed a love for jazz in high school and it continued on into my college years. I have arranged for different jazz ensembles, orchestras, etc., and also write songs as well. I decided to pursue missions after the influence of the late Keith Green's music ministry. I spent some time in Texas and Guatemala, Central America. After this I decided to pursue finishing college. I attended and graduated from Taylor University, another Christian liberal arts college in Indiana. Upon graduation, I decided to go to a graduate school in California, Azusa Pacific University, another Christian college. I also worked as a youth director at a nearby church. A year later I received an M.A. degree in religion (theology concentration). I now wanted to teach Bible and/or music. I found a position back in Indiana as another youth director, this time full-time. This is when the fatigue struck. I had mononucleosis for 6 months while I was at Taylor University, and the same symptoms reoccurred again. I thought it was the same thing. But the doctor told me it wasn't and did not think anything was wrong with me. I knew I was sick, but no one believed me. Mainly because of this, the church I was with asked me to resign. I was so tired I used to bring a pillow and blanket into my office! I found myself having little energy to do the traditional "visiting" in the afternoons. And with the youth group, it was hard to keep up with their energy. (I had other responsibilities besides the youth.) It's been almost 9 years now and things have not gotten better. Actually, they've become worse. Over the past 9 years it has been hard to cope with life. To this day some people still don't believe or are skeptical about my illness. I have struggled with jobs and finances. When I have had jobs that I really like, such as working with children, everything goes OK for a while, but then if I continue for long periods of time, I become totally exhausted and collapse. My throat starts becoming real sore and the fatigue is tremendous! It's much worse than when I had mono the first time. And this time it's lasted 9 years! It has totally destroyed my life in every facet. But as time moves on, and my many pleads for healing from the Lord, as well as hope for being cured fades with every year, I've come to realize that when I am weak, He is strong. I keep waiting to get better so that God can use me, but I'm realizing that He can use me HIS way right now. I just need to be open to His call. He wants to work in me and through me, even though I have no (literally) strength on my own! I don't know what's in store for my future, expect that I must trust God and keep the hope of someday, whether in heaven or on earth, I'll have a healthy body! But God is humbling me for now; He's trying to get me to see, I believe, that I cannot serve Him on my own strength, but in and through His power and might! God gives, God takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord! For because of Him I have life at all! Jesus be praised forever! back to My Web Profile |
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