EPISODE: The Bitter Suite
REVIEWED BY: The DarkSider
Xena arrives and ties Gabrielle to her horse after beating up a few Amazonian women and Joxer. She drags her to a cliff and attempts to throw her over the side. Gabrielle comes alive and both women fall down into the cliff.
Xena wakes up to find Callisto dressed in different clothing singing. Callisto informs Xena she in the musical land of Illusia. The land is governed by a red wheel of some sort. Meanwhile, Gabrielle wakes up in Illusia and is greeted by a singing Joxer.
Gabrielle ends up in her homeland of Potedeia and Xena ends up hanging out with Ares. Both sides gear the women up for battle with each other. The two meet up and Xena topples Gabrielle with a sword to the chest.
However, Gabrielle shows up very much alive and the two start to work out their differences in some hollow hall. After this, the two end up in another hall where several dark figures tie them up to be tortured. Turns out the dark figures are themselves and they both realize that love must guide them. Both women are freed from their bondage.
Gabrielle steps through a waterfall but Xena finds she can�t cross it. This is because she hadn�t confessed killing Ming Tien who she lied about killing to Gabrielle. She begs for forgiveness and Gabrielle holds her hand out allowing Xena to cross. Xena hooks up with her son briefly in Illusia before she wakes up with Gabrielle in the real world as friends once again.
And now my musical response to �The Bitter Suite�...sung to the tune of �Be Our Guest� from Beauty And The Beast...brought to you by The DarkSider...
Xena�s show started cool
Then turned into flaming stool
Horrid voices, bad plot choices and C-G-I thats play school
Bondage scene, non-obscene
Fills the crap right in between
Singing eagle, don�t seem regal, Ares in red is illegal
Gabrielle, lyric hell
�The bitch is dead�, now ain�t that swell?
Acting that resembles packages of meat
Producers what were you thinking?
You drive me into drinking!
Bitter Suite
Stinks like feet
In the heat
Wheel of dread, that is red
Callisto�s singing in my head
Would Pat Sadjac lead an attack so their voices could be dead
Joxers lame, its insane
To review this frame by frame
Theres no dying, only crying, oh my god my brain is frying
Bruce Campbell, where are you?
Only you can pull me through
This makes me want to sit and watch Xanadu
Blockbuster its returning cause my stomachs churning
Bitter Suite, Its not neat, It is time for my retreat
Bitter Suite
Stinks like feet
In the heat
