REALEASE DATE: 1982
RATED: R
REVIEWED BY: The Darksider - 4/4/05
Well then...where should I begin. New York has been the site of several strange events. People are dying on a regular basis and there have been several sightings of an odd flying creature. You know...every day events in the big city. The citizens should fear not though David Carradine, aka Detective Sheppard, is on the case. Sheppard and his partner Sgt Powell discover the victims decapitated and sometimes skinned alive. Are they linked...well stay tuned...
Meanwhile full time jag off Jimmy Quinn, played in the typical over the top style of Michael Moriarty, is trying to find a job. He lives with his lady friend Joan and really has no kind of future...or any that I can recognize anyways. He picks up a job as the wheel man in a mob related diamond heist. This goes extremely wrong and he ends up running from the scene with the jewels. A cab hits (and unfortunately doesn't kill) him and the diamonds get lost. He limps to the Chrysler Building as most people would do in his situation...um yeah... Up on the top floor he finds a huge nest with an immense egg in it. Also a body being pecked at by piegons. (They will eat anything apparently.) Jimmy leaves and continues his constant whining.
Meanwhile, Sheppard talks to a few experts in Aztec culture and finds out that the monster is a brilliant creature. Q is an Aztec God brought to life by human sacrafice. She flies in the day time sun not to be noticed. Don't adjust your monitor thats what I said. Oh and the people skinned alive and had body parts taken out were all voluntary. So for all you church going folk out there, don't complain when you have to put money in the basket on Sunday. Its obvious that some religions are more in depth.
"Hey Fred, do you mind if I hack your insides up to bring Q back..."
"SURE! Just let me get this load of laundry out of the dryer..."
Onward...Jimmy gets busted in on by his mob friends and falsly leads them up to the Chrysler Building. Q gobbles them up and Jimmy once again escapes unharmed (god*mnit). Shortly thereafter he is picked up by the police for being involved in the botched jewel heist.
Hows all this s**t related? Well seeing the cops have no clue where Q is hanging and Quinn does, he is their key to killing the monster. Quinn takes this oppurtunity to plea bargain his way into money, exclusive photo rights, and some kind of immunity for his prior offenses. Personally if I were the cops I'd tie him down to time square and use him as bait but hey what do I know. The cops stake out the Chrysler Building and blows the baby in the egg's brains out. Q heads back and after a long battle the cops gun her down.
Jimmy almost gets killed one last time by the culprit performing the sacrafices but once again stays alive. (Damn you Cohen...) Sheppard saves him last minute by putting a few holes in the kind priest.
One has to laugh at all the stupid plot twists and turns. Cohen has a knack for providing us B-Movie material for the ages. Bascially the "what the hell factor" is all over the place. This movie is pure trash cinema and frankly I wouldn't have liked it any other way.
ITS THE INNARDS THAT COUNT:
Most Important Meal - Q has a delicious fast food breakfast in the form of a window washer's head.
Topless Brunch - A woman sunbathes topless while Q swoops down and takes her. The scene where people in the street get blood drips on them had me pissing with laughter.
Swimmer Du Jour - Some dude gets snatched out of a pool by a gigantic foot. Contrary to popular belief the huge foot was not a Star Jones cameo.
Copto Bismol - Q chucks a few cops off it's lair. Seeing this movie was before invent of C.G.I. they kinda looked like Gumby on the way down.
Quinn's Singing/Piano Playing - Um...it speaks for itself...
YOU'RE A GRAND OLD A-HOLE:
Q - Go ahead, keep feeding chickens steroids...you'll have 100 of these f**kers around...
Quinn - If Q ate Tony Soprano and Scooby Doo, the bowel movement would resemble this a**hole...
OVERALL GRADE
TWO SKULLS
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