Meanwhile, at Kristen's locker she is messed around with by Joey and Kincaid. Same old argument about Freddy not being around anymore. Trying to look doubtful, she confronts them with the evidence on her arm. Kincaid tells her, "that don't mean d*ck, my dog is like me...drag him into your crazy dream and he gets wild".
Um wait a second...since when were pets available for dream pulling? I don't recall seeing this in the first three films. Matter of fact...she didn't technically pull his dog in at any time. It wasn't like she yelled "HEY FIDO" in the first dream sequence. Next time I'm confronted with a threat in my dreams, I think I'll call in a goldfish or two. You know, just to see if it works. She walks away from her locker and we see Freddy's knife marks on the locker. Now how is that possible? I always thought Freddy could only make his presence felt while he was
1.)In a Dream or 2.) Inhabiting his corpse or some body in real life or 3.) Pulled out of the dream world. Didn't see evidence of any of these quite frankly.
Later in the evening, Alice is preparing dinner for her father at home. In the basement, Rick is working on his best Karate Kid imitation.. Mr. Johnson arrives home screwing a bottle cover on to a fine drink in a brown paper bag. Mr. Johnson insults Alice's dinner and immediately we get treated to another time killing fantasy moment. In her daydream she tells her dad off...but of corse she buckles in real life.
Meanwhile, across town Kincaid finds himself falling asleep. He wakes up to see his dog Jason enter the bedroom. Hmmm...interesting choice for a dog. Yeah I'm sure this wasn't a hit on a Jason Voorhees with the same name from Camp Crystal Lake...nahhhhh. Anyhow, immediately he finds himself in the back of a car trunk. He realizes that he and his dog aren't in Kansas anymore. Matter of fact Jason is digging in the dirt surrounded by wrecked cars. He growls at Kincaid and takes a fire piss on the ground. Thats right...a dog pissing fire. This gives way to Freddy's bones reanimating and Freddy being reborn. Kincaid runs for the hills and Freddy brags, "you shouldn't haven't buried me, I'm not dead".
Thats it...hold on one goddamn minute here. Every killer in movies has a way of getting back to life in sequels. It may not always be the most brilliant but theres usually something we can buy. For example, Jaws apparently had relatives in the deep blue sea that took up killing for him. Jason was brought back by a psychic at one point. So why in this film does Freddy's return come down to a dog's fire urine? That and as far as I can recall from part three, his bones were buried in real life, not in a dream. So why should the thing that caused Freddy's demise in part three 1.) Be so easy to overcome for him and 2.) Be available in the dream world? I mean if thats the case, the bone burying should have had no effect on him in part three. Hell, he could have torn through the rest of the kids and called it a day. Sigh...moving on...
Kincaid dumps a car on Freddy which he assumes does the trick. Out of nowhere, the squashed cars start to rev up and explode around him. He finds himself cornered in by the cars and exclaims to Kristen, "Freddys Back". Joey wasn't warned because...well...you know...because. As quickly as Kincaid gets brought back, he goes out when Freddy shoves his glove into his stomach. Freddy tells us theres one down and two to go. Kincaid dies on his bed and is comforted by his dog. You know, the same dog that pissed on Freddy and brought him back. For the life of me, I can't figure out if the dog was Freddy's imp or just trying to ward off Kincaid. If you need to guess than someone isn't doing their job in the film. The dog was a great actor though...much better than a lot fo the cast. Meanwhile, Kristen lights up a smoke in her bedroom. Why we should care about that? I have no clue.
Across town Joey is watching MTV and who else should appear but the VJ Randy From The Redwoods. That mother f*cker still gives me the creeps to this day. Maybe not as much as Jesse Camp and Adam Curry but he is right along up there with him. Joey tunes out for a bit but not before looking at the pin up on his wall. I should point out I always thought the kid that plays Joey looks a little like Neve Cambpell. Which is ok...if you're Neve Campbell. Anyhow, he feels a little something underneath his water bed and pulls the covers back to see some naked chick swimming on the other side. Its the chick from his poster no less. She disappears into the abyss of his water bed and the famous glove pokes through the bed. Freddy pulls Joey under and hits us with a decent one liner about wet dreams. Two down, Kristen to go who isn't getting bumped off quick enough.
Meanwhile, Alice is feeding her fish in kind of a lame water based segue. Rick pops in to her room and notes that her mirror is covered in pictures. She claims thats because she doesn't want to see herself. Well heres a novel idea...get rid of the mirror and use a frame you dumb b*tch. The poor little girl complains about how she misses her mom. Blah Blah Blah. Stupid shenanigans follow when Rick tells her to release energy through karate to feel better. He jumps up and makes a "SIKE" sound. She does that same in a skit that just won't end. Cut to Joey's screaming mom who discovers him floating in the water bed.
The next day at school Kristen is lighting up a cig. Alice comes over and Kristen does her best concerned expression. She wonders where Joey and Kincaid disappeared to. The two BS about dreams and Alice mentions she confronts bad dreams with something called "The Dream Master". Ah finally the film's subtitle comes into play. Its a rhyme of some sort her mother taught her. A rhyme as in nursery rhyme. Yep...you can tell from this part of the movie something stupid this way comes in the plot later. Kristen walks in to class to see Joey and Kincaid are both not there. She freaks out saying Freddy killed them and passes out.
She awakes to find herself in the nurse's office being stared at by one fugly nurse. This is actually Robert Englund in drag. Let me just say now that if it wasn't for Englund, this movie review would be even more scathing if you can imagine that. He at least adds a good performance to the film which really is the film's one saving grace. Well turns out this is really Freddy who wants to draw some blood. Kristen wakes up to find herself being inspected by the real school nurse.
Cut to a diner where Debbie and Alice are working. Another sh*ty 80s song plays on the jukebox and Dan asks the bewildered Alice where Rick is. He introduces himself and Alice gets a visit from Sheila. Annoying banter goes on until Kristen arrives with Rick. They just found out that Joey and Kincaid are both dead. Kristen cries and blubbers on about the two...I imagine onions were around somewhere on the set.
The three leave and Dan tags along to the boarded up house where Freddy once lived. Kristen blathers on about Freddy while Rick shares the legend with Dan. Alice has insight to the dream master ryhme but can't remember it all. This is interrupted when Kristen's mom tells her to get away from the house. Believe it or not, she is actually another returning cast member from part three. I imagine she was upset to find her daughter had 98% less acting talent in this sequel. Anyhow, Alice spies the drawing from the original scene on the sidewalk. She walks away and turns to find its not there anymore. Another stupid and pointless scare attempt.
Later on at dinner, Kristen and her mom argue away. Turns out her mom slipped her a sleeping pill so she could rest. Yea! Lets hear it for Kristen's mom! Kristen slips away after a bunch of irritating dizzy camera shots. She commands herself before she goes to sleep to dream of something nice. ?Immediately she finds herself on a beach wearing a bikini. The girl from the original scene is building a sand castle. Turns out the girl's name is Alice...the same as her friend Alice. Wow...what a f*cking coincidence. Yet another thing that doesn't matter in the plot.
Now prepare yourself for another idiotic hit on another great horror movie. Yes there was the dog named Jason. However, they wouldn't do a take off of Jaws would they? Oh yes they did. Freddy's glove appears in the water much like Bruce the shark's dorsal fin. He works his way up the beach and into the sand castle which explodes. Freddy takes it's place and Alice runs to find herself in quicksand. Freddy slaps on a pair of shades and shoves her deeper into the quicksand. She falls through into the boarded up old house.
Kristen takes a page out of Lionel Ritchie's Dancin' On The Ceiling video and rolls around the room for a bit. She finally makes it into the boiler room where Freddy greets her. Freddy eggs her on to call in another one of her friends. She fights the urge but still calls in Alice by mistake. Some f*cking friend she turned out to be. Kristen attacks Freddy who chucks her easily into the boiler. Thank f*cking whatever spiritual force you believe in. No more way below average acting. Freddy exposes the souls on his chest and before she can burn up, Kristen tosses Alice her dream calling in power. Gee...I didn't know you could do that. I supposed it makes sense that a dream power would be like a softball...um yeah.
Well anyhow, Alice wakes up to find a postcard on her mirror from Freddy that reads "Greetings From Hell". Cute...she takes off with Rick to Kristen's house. They spot a fire in her bedroom and rush in to find her burning alive. Lets hear it for spontaneous combustion. So the next shot treats us to everyone's grave. I found it odd that Nancy, Kristen and Kincaid were all buried in such close proximity to each other. Guess they got some kind of "killed in a dream" group rate or something.
So heres a side point. Although I hardly route for the "good guys", I could never understand when a sequel killed off the heroes of the prior film in the first half hour. In this case, you had three kids who took on Freddy, beat his ass and won in part three. So killing them off so quickly proves that their characters were not worth routing for in the first place. Hell, they gave Nancy's character at least til the end of part three when they got rid of her. To put it in perspective, imagine if The Empire Strikes Back had Luke, Leia and Han Solo killed off in the first half hour. Make sense...nope...not to me either.
But it gets even worse from here...click here to go on...