REVIEWED BY: The DarkSider
The Joes send in Shipwreck, Cover Girl, Dusty, Recondo, Mutt with Junkyard and Blowtorch to the movie set. When they get there they are greeted by Lansberg. Shipwreck makes up a device that the film needs so he can head out to the bar scene. Cover Girl follows close behind him.
Meanwhile at the secret Cobra base, Destro tells Cobra Commander about a firebat that is on the movie set. It has some kind of homing device that would lead GI Joe to the base which would spell trouble for Cobra. Cobra Commander gets on the horn to Zartan who is in the middle of a bank heist with his Dreadnoks. He hires them to get rid of the plane from the set.
Zartan arrives on the set and fools Recondo and Dusty into thinking he is an actor playing Zartan. He challenges them to a race in the desert which is just a set up so Buzzer and Ripper can shoot them off a cliff. Across town Shipwreck and Cover Girl get arrested for being part of a bar room brawl. Torch of the Dreadnoks calls the cops but finds himself arrested too. At the set, the crew starts taping a scene but this is interrupted when Zartan and company cause havoc on the set. Blowtorch and Mutt/Junkyard take on the baddies and the firebat almost gets destroyed in the process.
Shipwreck and Cover Girl get bailed out the next day. They set out into the desert to look for Dusty and Recondo while Mutt/Junkyard watch the firebat. Dusty and Recondo are almost assaulted by a pack of coyotes but Shipwreck rescues them just in time. Shipwreck gets back to the set to find Mutt and Junkyard knocked out. He also finds Zartan and the Dreadnoks who he battles until he is knocked out into the firebat. Zartan sends the plane to the hideout so they can break Torch out of jail.
Cobra Commander is pleased to get the plane back with a Joe in it and orders Shipwreck to be executed. He sticks him above a vat of a hot substance on a small beam and orders his soldiers to shoot at him til he falls in. However, Cover Girl comes up with a plan to fool Cobra into thinking they were torturing Torch into telling them where Cobra's base was. They demand Cobra to supply Shipwreck in turn for Torch's life. It really is part of a Hollywood production but Cobra falls for it.
Zartan and the boys bust out Torch who inform them that Cover Girl examined his face. Zartan realizes that the Joes set up Cobra with a fake Torch but can't get through to Cobra Commander. Cobra arrives in the firebat with Shipwreck all tied up and demands Torch. Shipwreck somehow knocks over Cobra Commander who gets jumped by Junkyard. The other Joes untie Shipwreck and a big battle commences. Lansberg orders his crew to get the whole battle on tape.
Skystrikers arrive to knock Cobra's planes out of the air at record pace. Cobra's precious firebat gets destroyed in the battle. Eventually most of the set gets ruined as well. Destro arrives just in time to save Cobra Commander and they all fly off.
The show ends with Lansberg's epic making a big premier. The Joes are on hand to witness him thank his mom and dad instead of them. This pisses off Shipwreck and the show ends.
I award this to Shipwreck because he acted like a drunken sailor for the entire episode...oh wait a minute...he is a drunken sailor for the entire episode.
LT FALCON MEDAL FOR MILITARY INCOMPETENCE:
Lets hand this one out to Dusty and Recondo for going out into the desert without weapons and assuming the Zartan on the set was just an actor. That and isn't Dusty supposed to be the desert specialist? What a bunch of d*ckheads.
GOMER PILE MEDAL FOR BAD HUMOR:
"MEEP, MEEP..." Shipwreck as he tosses a coyote into a river from high above...get it???
COBRA SUPPORT GROUP: (a positive approach to Cobra's f*ck ups)
Mistake #1 It goes without saying that Cobra Commander really got the short end of Destro's weapon supply. It is plain silly to include a homing device on a Cobra plane that leads to your hideout. After all, if all GI Joe episodes hold true, he should have realized most of Cobra's planes will be destroyed or confiscated at some point. Possible Solution; Next time try a self destruct mechanism on your weaponry. Oh and asked for a refund from that steel headed bastard Destro.
Mistake #2 Never plan an elaborate death for your adversaries. It never worked for James Bond so why should GI Joe be different. Cobra Commander let the guards play with Shipwreck which didn't prove much.
Possible Solution; Have the old troops pop him once in the head. Oh and maybe his parrot too so you can have dinner.
Mistake #3 Falling for Cover Girl's phony torture of Torch was just a little ignorant don't you think? An organization like GI Joe would be too kind to resort to cruel and unusual punishment. I mean they do fight for what is right and fair don't they?
Possible Solution; Dreadnoks usually are too stupid or stoned to remember the exact location of the nearest McDonald never mind Cobra's hideout. Next time call the Joe's bluff and let them kill Torch. Recruiting Dreadknocks is Zartan's problem anyhow.
DON'T STICK A WET FORK INTO A SOCKET MEDAL
No PSAs in this episode
