Growing Up Gay in Rural America Facts
· Gay and lesbian teens in rural areas are more likely to be in the closet than their urban counterparts. And they may be lacking the resources to help them come out.
· Youth from large cities reported fewer homophobic remarks in school than youth from other locales. But 91.5 percent of all survey participants reported such remarks.
· Youth from large cities were less likely to report feeling unsafe in their schools because of their gender expression. But 64.3 percent of all survey participants reported feeling unsafe.
· Youth from large cities and from suburbs of large cities reported lower frequencies of verbal harassment because of their sexual orientation. But 84 percent of all survey participants reported being verbally harassed.
· Youth from small cities or towns or from rural areas reported being the target of mean rumors or lies more often than youth from large cities and their suburbs and from mid-size cities.
· A Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network survey said 82.9 percent of lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender students said faculty or staff never intervened or intervened only some of the time when present and homophobic remarks were made.
· There are less HIV/AIDS intervention/prevention efforts in rural areas because there is usually a resistance towards sex education or safe sex programs.
· Risk behavior is more closeted and therefore less safe in rural areas.
Growing Up Gay in Rural America Stories
· "Growing up in a small town was pretty rough for me. After coming to terms with myself and I could say it to myself that I am gay, I wanted to find others like me. I wanted to find other people that I could feel comfortable talking to, but where would I ever find them? There were a few brave souls that were openly gay. Everyone in town knew they were gay, but what would everyone say if they knew I was friends with them or talked to them? They would know for sure I was gay, and I was SO not ready for that! I had to keep it under wraps. I was pretty well known in high school and throughout our small community. I would have just died if other people had found out! I think I should say up front: Growing up gay in a small town/rural community is something I wouldn't wish on anyone."
· "My school was small to say the least. There were 34 people in my graduating class; roughly 150 in the whole school. It was an interesting experience being 'the gay guy.' Before coming out I was called fag and harassed on a regular basis. I even had things thrown at me on occasion. Most of you probably know the routine. After I came out it happened still, but less frequently, and it didn't bother me as much. I know that isn't the most hope-giving statement in the world. Coming out is not a magic wand that makes it all better, but it did help me. The people that liked me before they knew I was gay, liked me after as well. Eventually I made homecoming court and took my boyfriend to prom, which was fun."
· “I have a sort of complicated situation, and I don't know who else to turn to for advice and help. I'm a 17-year-old closeted (from the family, at least) lesbian, with one more year of high school to go. My older brother is 24, and he is gay. He came out to our family (consisting of just our mother and our little sister, who's 14) his junior year of high school. She's a loving woman, if a bit cold and distant from her children. But although she says she's accepted it, her actions prove otherwise: She refuses to admit, even to my sister and me, that he's gay, and she refuses to even meet his partner. Because of her inacceptance, my brother and his partner live in California, while we're in a "good ol' boy," Chevy-driving, apple pie-eating, all-American small town in Wisconsin. My brother isn't really close with anyone in the family, which makes it impossible for me to ask his advice.
”Now my worst fears are confirmed. I've always known I was a lesbian, and over
the past three months, I've been secretly seeing a girl. Now things are getting
serious, to the point where we're falling in love. I hate having to hide this
part of my life, and it's so hard sneaking around to maintain our relationship
-- but I won't give her up just because I'mm closeted. I realize that it's a must
to come out to my mother, but I don't want to break her heart all over again.
She still can't stand that my brother is a "flaming homo" (her words, not mine),
and I don't know what to do. Betty, I'm at my wits' end. Please help.”
· “A chameleon-like existence becomes second nature. David, who grew up in rural Minnesota, proudly remembered his high school experience of dating the most popular girls. Unbidden, he reached into his back pocket and extracted a prom picture. ‘I dated Miss Minnesota for four years,’ he said, gazing at the faded photo. ‘I wore a thousand masks.’
· “David laughed when asked about driving for hours to get to a bar. ‘I lived in Duluth, so it was nothing to drive four hours to Minneapolis. You get a group together, collect gas money, designate a driver and go. Or you can spend the night in a motel in town. It's the way it is out here.’
· “He and his partner, who is in the military, live on base, where, he said, turning serious, ‘we watch our P's and Q's. If I don't 'cowboy up,' I know I could jeopardize his career.’”
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