“Hello? Mr. Spencer? This is Billy Boyd, I’m a friend of Orlando’s and Raya’s. I met you at the wedding, in your car when I came to take you into the church? Remember? You taught me the back swing in your car.”

“Ah yes,” Richard replied, letting out a booming bark of laughter. “How is the back swing? Taken anyone’s eyes out yet?”

“Sadly, not yet,” Billy sighed. “But there’s always next week. Listen. I have a favor to ask of you.”

Liberty, Dom and Elijah all scooted closer to better hear the phone in Billy’s hands. They were at the airport, having just picked up their luggage; they were all standing around a phone booth while Billy called for reinforcements.

“What is it?” Richard asked, sounding hesitant…or maybe just busy.

“Did Raya tell you where they were going for their honeymoon?” Billy’s voice was apprehensive, but his face looked hopeful.

“They did indeed. I think she said Spain. Or maybe Portugal.”

“Canada?” Billy offered helpfully. “Did she say Canada?”

“No, Canada’s hardly like Spain and Portugal, is it?” Richard chortled. “No, I’m sure it was either of those other two. You can try and call her mobile, I’m sure she’s got it on.”

“I did already try that, actually, but thanks. She’s turned it off.”

“Hmmm,” Richard considered this. “Well, if you do get a hold of her, ask her where I’ve put my reading glasses, will you?”

“Emmm…sure. Yes. Thanks, Mr. Spencer. Bye.”

“Bye-bye, Billy.”

Billy hung up and turned to his three friends, “Spain or Portugal.”

“We’re in Canada,” Elijah pointed out unnecessarily.

“Duh, Lij. I’m not a complete nitwit----”

Liberty cut into Billy’s tirade, knowing full well it would have gone on for several swears, “Let’s think here. Did Raya tell her family members different spots for her honeymoon? Or has one of them gotten the location wrong?”

“Raya told them all different spots. She’s cunning like that,” Dom remarked dryly. “She won’t have wanted Orlando’s body found once she’s cut him up and fed him to the wolves.”

“You always try to pin her for being underhanded, maybe that’s why she dislikes you so.” Billy shook his head and picked up his bad. “Perhaps her father just got it wrong.”

“What wolves are in Spain, I’d like to know,” Elijah said, sighing heavily and biting a fingernail off.

Billy flopped down onto his bag and looked up at the other three, “Why don’t we call someone else and ask them? Maybe Orlando told Viggo the right place.”

Liberty considered this, “Not a bad idea. I’ll give him a call.” She went into the booth, shut the door and dialed Viggo’s cell phone. He and Henry had gone fishing for the weekend in parts unknown. “Helloooooooooo?” he answered on the first ring.

“Hi, Viggo, it’s Liberty. I’m in Canada. Do you know where the honeymooners are?”

“Why the hell are you in Canada?” Viggo requested and she heard someone laugh on the other line.

“Long story. Billy’s fault.”

“Ah, of course. Well. Orlando told me they were going on Safari in the Sahara desert, but I didn’t believe him.”

“Safari?” Liberty laughed. “Oh good God. All right. Thanks, Viggo. Have fun fishing.” She put the phone down and stepped out of the booth. “Viggo said Orlando went on Safari in the Sahara desert.”

“You know, this is all reminding me of ‘Where In The World is Carmen San Diego. That old television program,” Dom mused, holding back laughter.

Billy and Elijah began to sing the theme song, but Liberty cut them off. “Seriously, you guys. Who do you suppose they told the truth to, if anyone?”

“I don’t know,” Elijah replied, picking up his bag and hauling it over his shoulder. “But I’m tired and hungry. Let’s go get a place to stay and then we’ll comb the city for them.”

“That’ll be easy,” Billy said. “It’ll be like looking for a red plastic needle in a really big haystack that houses a lot of other plastic needles.”

Elijah shot him a look, “Okay, then. Let’s stay here and get on another flight to Nairobi or some fucking other random place and start looking there instead.”

“Elijah, no need for unpleasantries.“ He paused. “No one mentioned Nairobi,” Billy replied, looking thoughtful. “That’s a good a spot as any to begin the search.”

Dom, Elijah and Liberty all began walking off towards the exit and after a few moments, Billy followed them.

*

“Remind me not to tell ANYONE where we’re going when we go on our honeymoon,” Dom muttered, jumping onto the bed and laying down.

Liberty giggled from where she was changing her shirt, “No problem, there. I won’t want to be disrupted, either.”

“I think that’s why Raya told everyone a different place. Of course, she never even bothered to lie to us.”

“Well, I asked her where they were going and she said she didn’t know. That was at her bachelorette party. So maybe she really didn’t know.”

Dom turned onto his stomach to look at her, “Are you saying she honestly had no idea where the two of them were headed?”

Liberty shrugged, “I do not know. I only speculate.” She yawned. “Are you going to change? Elijah will be gnawing on his coffee table if we don’t hurry up.”

“He’s got a mini-bar,” Dom replied, sliding off the bed and grabbing for his bag. He pulled a blue shirt out and then turned slowly to stare at her, looking bewildered.

“What?” she asked, looking at her curiously. “What’s the matter?”

“Did you not bother to correct me? Did you not say we hadn’t even gotten engaged yet?”

Liberty bit her bottom lip, looking at the ceiling in thought. “Yes. I believe I just agreed with you and let the little detail of the needing engagement before marriage and honeymoon detail slip away.”

“Hmmmm,” he pulled his shirt over his head and then slipped the new one on. “That makes me think you’re ready for me to propose.”

Liberty crinkled up her nose, “I don’t know about that.”

Dom laughed and hugged her. “Let’s go save Elijah before he shrivels up to nothing. God knows, he hasn’t got a bit of meat on his puny body.”

Liberty pulled away from him, looking surprised and doubtful. “What are you talking about? You haven’t got any meat on your body either!”

*

“It’s about damn time,” Elijah groused. “What were you doing up there, christening this hotel room too?” Billy snickered girlishly, but Dom and Liberty merely glared. Elijah, when he got very hungry, tended to get a little angry and usually insulted whomever was present or in the vicinity.

Liberty sat down in the chair Dom pulled out for her and threw a napkin in her lap. “We did have to walk across the parking lot,” she said, picking up her menu and examining it.

Elijah chuckled sardonically, “Yes, and we all know what a long walk that is. What, maybe FIVE SECONDS?”

“Calm down, Lij. Eat a wonton,” Dom threw a fried wonton at Elijah across the table and picked up his menu. Elijah, out of spite, would have thrown the wonton back, but he really wanted to eat it.

After ordering (which caused Elijah to have a temper tantrum of Billy proportions because Liberty couldn’t make up her mind, and then when Elijah jumped down her throat about making “a fucking decision already” Dom had threatened to stove his hobbit feet up Elijah’s puny arse), the food took mere moments before it was produced in front of them (Elijah nearly kissed the waiter before digging recklessly into his meal) and when Elijah’s plate was clean, Billy’s cell phone rang inside his jacket pocket.

“Billy Boyd here, hottest Scottsman in Canada. How may I direct your call?”

“Billy?” Raya’s voice was tinny and the static was causing her to fade in and out when she spoke. “It’s Raya. Daddy said you were trying to find me when I called to check in this afternoon.”

“RAYA!” Billy hollered, startling his entire table (and most of the people around them). “Where are you?”

“On my honeymoon. Is there urgent news? Have Dominic and Liberty broken up? Did Dominic cheat on her? Do I need to stomp on him with my Jimmy Choos?”

“No, no, Dom and Lib are sitting across the table from me, happily together. I will warn Dom of your threats, however.”

“Good, I---Did you say you were in Canada? What are you doing in Canada?”

“Stalking you,” Billy responded, examining his nails and whistling. “What hotel are you staying at? Want to have a cup of tea?”

“No,” Raya replied, sounding harsher than usual. “Orlando---Oh, God. Ah, Billy, I have to go. I’ll ring you once we return home to England. Cheers!” The line went dead shortly after.

Billy stared at it in shock.

“So? Where are they staying?” Elijah asked, ripping some skin off a chicken wing he’d grabbed from Liberty’s plate.

“I don’t know, she didn’t say. She was rather distracted. Damned Orlando Bloom and his charms.”

“And stamina,” Liberty put in.

“Stamina?” Dom repeated, a humorous note to his voice. “And you would know?”

Liberty shrugged, “Well, not from first hand experience of course---.”

"Am I not enough wild stallion for you?" Dom asked, a small grin on his lips.

Elijah threw his chicken bone into the plate, "Eating. I'm. Eating!"

Dom smiled widely at him, “Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Wood.”

“What’s this about wild stallions?” Liberty asked, cocking her head to the side. “When have you ever---” Billy cut her off, much to Elijah’s appreciation.

“Right. And stamina,” Billy replied, nodding. “I don’t think they’re in Canada.”

“No!” Liberty, Dom and Elijah gasped sarcastically. “Really?”

“No,” Billy said, missing the sarcasm. He pulled open his fortune cookie and gazed at it in silence for a moment before turning to the rest of the group. “It says ‘You will travel far and wide in search of something that you will find eventually.’ How ironic.”

“How vague,” Dom stated, opening his own and eating it before reading what was on the strip of paper. “Mine says ‘You will have a happy life.’ Lovely.” He threw it onto the table and dabbed at his lips with a napkin.

"Billy, I'm gonna ask you, and no shit this time, why would you want to crash Raya and OB's honeymoon?" Elijah asked bluntly, looking Billy in the eyes as he cracked his fortune cookie on the table like one would an egg.

“Honestly?” Billy asked, leaning forward; inadvertently, the other three occupants of the table leaned forward towards him. “I want to ask Raya to name her firstborn after me.”

Elijah leaned back in his seat, looking deflated. “That’s it? I was expecting something…you know…more intense. Something, maybe, philosophical. Or even something quirky. Not something, well, ridiculous. Even from you, I didn’t expect something so…bland.”

“Thank you,” Billy muttered blankly, rolling his eyes heavenwards.

“Well,” Dom cleared his throat. “What now? Do we, er, contact anybody else? You know, you could just wait and see them when they get back.”

Billy looked affronted, but sounded sad, “It might be too late then.”

“Billy,” Liberty laughed. “Even if Raya’s pregnant, there’s no way she could have had the baby already and named it. You have at LEAST nine months.”

This didn’t seem to set well with Mr. Boyd. “This is important to me. I don’t think I’ll ever have any children of my own. I want some, you know. I’m not going to be childish forever. When I finally grow up, it may be too late for me to procreate. I just wanted someone to carry on my name.”

“Then you’ll have to find a random family named Boyd and ask them to name their child Billy. Come along, we’ll go have a look at the phone book.”

Billy narrowed his eyes at Dom, looking less than pleased. “Be serious, Dominic.”

Liberty sighed. “If it’s that important to you, Billy, I’ll keep looking for them. There are tons more people we could ask.”

“Like who?” Billy asked, sounding childlike as his lower lip jutted out in a pout.

Liberty glanced at Dom, who shrugged, clearly fed up with the whole ordeal. “Like Anaka.”

“THE DEVIL!?” Billy gasped, clapping a hand to his mouth. “Liberty! You’d sell your soul to the devil in order to help me?”

She looked confused for a moment before brightening, “Of course. You’re one of my best friends.”

Billy leaned across the table to hug her; Elijah rolled his eyes at Dom, who nodded in agreement. When Billy pulled away and sat back down, he had a new excitement plastered across his face. “Do you know her number?”

“It’s on Dom’s cell,” Liberty replied, holding her hand out to Dom, who held out his cell phone obediently.

“I won’t bother asking why,” Elijah muttered, resting his elbows on the table and then putting his head atop his hands.

Liberty was too busy talking into the phone to hear him. “Hey, Anaka. It’s Liberty.”

“Hello,” Anaka replied coolly. “How is---where are you, again? You left in such a rush, I didn’t get a chance to ask where you two lovebirds were headed off to.”

“Em,“ Liberty bit her bottom lip. “We’re in Canada…it’s a long story. Do you know where Raya’s gone?”

“Yes, she told me of her plans. Why?”

“Billy is sort of on this quest thing and he really needs to talk to her.”

“Did you try calling?”

Liberty rolled her eyes, “Of course we did. He needs to see them in person.”

“Ah,” Anaka replied, and Liberty distinctly heard the rustling of papers. “I believe Raya wanted to keep her whereabouts secret. I am inclined to go along with her wishes.”

“You know I wouldn’t ask you unless I were desperate. We got off to a rather, um, bad start and now that we’re…on speaking terms…I was hoping you’d be a friend and help me out.”

“A friend,” Anaka repeated blankly. “Yes. I don’t know at what hotel they’re staying, but I do know that they’re in India.”

“India?” Liberty echoed, raising her eyebrows at Dom, who looked amused. “Huh. Great. Well, thanks. I’ll see you---”

“I imagine at the premiere circuit. That is, if Dominic is taking you.”

“I’m sure he is. We haven’t discussed it, though.”

“Lovely. I hope to see you there in any case. I’ve been invited by Orlando and Raya to accompany them. I was wondering, do you think Dominic would be available as an escort at that time?”

Liberty clicked the phone off, tossed it into Dom’s lap and let out a low, guttural growl which caused Elijah to stop eating and stare at her in surprise.

“That---that----that GIRL!” Liberty mumbled, shaking her head angrily. “They’re in freaking India,” she added to Billy before standing up and stalking from the table.

“What’s gotten into her?” Elijah asked as the three of them watched her leave the restaurant.

“I’m sure Anaka said something about wanting my body,” Dom sighed.

“Think highly of yourself, don’t you,” Billy remarked wryly.