Nicky took a deep breath and ran a hand through his unruly hair; he closed his eyes and leaned against the cool stone wall of the backstage area. After counting to ten, he pushed off the wall and walked briskly into the dressing room.

Bryan sat alone in front of the mirror putting some finishing touches on his hair.

“Bry?” Nicky cleared his throat nervously, he could feel his palms begin to sweat and he wished his hair wasn’t plastering itself to the back of his neck. He wished he’d gotten it chopped off, or even shaved again, last week when he’d had the chance. “Bry, I gotta talk to ya.”

Bryan turned around and squinted at him, “I’ve got bloody gel in my eye.”

Nicky resisted the urge to laugh, and instead stepped further into the room. “This is sorta serious.”

Wiping his eye with a random tissue, Bryan blinked a few times and then put his full attention on the nervous looking man in front of him. “Okay, go.”

He swallowed, coughed, fidgeted on the spot and then finally took a seat on the couch beside Bryan’s vanity table.

“Are ya alright? Or did ya sniff some crack before?”

Apparently not in a joking mood, Nicky shook his head, “I don’t do drugs, Bryan, listen.”

“You’re spazzing, ya duetz. Calm the fook down.” He stood up and went to sit beside his friend, “What’s the matter with ya?”

“I’m…I’m sort of…sort of in love with somebody,” Nicky ran a hand through his hair once more and then his foot began to jump up and down in a nervous habit.

“I know,” Bryan answered, “Is that what this is about?”

Nicky took a deep breath and knew that if he didn’t get it out right now, he wouldn’t have the guts to get it out at all, “It’s Shane.”

“What’s Shane?” Bryan asked, standing up and going back to the table.

As his heartbeat picked up and his pulse began to race so fast that he thought he might throw up, Nicky found his voice, “I’m in love with Shane.”

“Shane?!” Bryan hollered, “You’re in love with SHANE?! Filan? The one who is in this band!?” Bryan sat heavily into his chair. “How is that possible?” Nicky stood up and walked over towards him, but Bryan held his hand up, “Don’t come near me, Nicky.”

“Bryan, let me explain,” Nicky pleaded, his voice cracking. He choked back a sob and stood rooted to the spot, watching Bryan’s reflection in the mirror.

“I don’t want to talk to ya right now. Get out.”

Nicky licked his lips and shook his head, “Bryan, this doesn’t change anything. I’m still the same person. I’m just…I’m just----”

“Queer,” Bryan retorted, “I get it.”

Fighting back the urge to scream at the top of his lungs, Nicky began backing out of the room, “You’re my friend, Bry, and my band mate. And I love you like a brother. Ya gotta understand, lad.”

Bryan swirled around to face him, “Get the fook out, Nicky. I’m not your friend. I’m through with ya. I don’t ever want to see ya again.”

Not knowing what else he could possibly say, and knowing that if he stood there any longer he’d fall over and crumple into tears, Nicky fled from the room. He leaned against the wall and dialed a familiar number on his cell phone.

“Shane,” Nicky breathed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back, “Shane, it’s Nicky.” Tiny pinpricks began poking the back of Nicky’s eyes and he fought hard to hold them back.

His mouth was dry, his lips were chapped and he would have licked them if his tongue wasn’t so tired. He hadn’t been talking so much, but what he had said had taken all his energy.

It was useless when the tears started falling from his eyes. He blinked and took a deep breath, "It's not going to work. I’m leaving the band," Nicky hung up his cell phone and slid down the wall. The tears soaked his t-shirt in a matter of moments.

Nicky couldn’t face talking to him for much longer, it was too hard.

"Don't say it's to late," Shane sang into the microphone on stage. He was rehearsing his part while the other lads got ready. The microphone wasn't on because he was the only one in the stage area. He ran a hand through his dark hair and sat down on the edge of the stage.

"You all right Mr. Filan?" A big guy asked as he walked by. Shane knew it was one of their bodyguards.

"Aye, I'm fine." Shane heard himself say. Inside he was a mess of twisting nerves. His cell phone rang. "Hello?" He heard the voice on the other line, it was Nicky.

"Shane?" There was a pause and Shane listened to the hiss of the cell phone. "Shane its Nicky." Another hiss filled silence. "It's not going to work, I'm leaving the band." Shane heard Nicky cry and hang up the phone.

"Nicky?" Shane knew that Nicky had already hung up but he still said his name. Shane couldn't believe that Nicky had just broken up with him and was leaving the band. How could he do that when they had just found each other a week ago? Shane's phone rang. "Nicky?!" Shane yelled into the phone.

"Shane?" It was Mark. Shane started crying now. "Shane? What's going on? Nicky just called me and told me he was going to the hotel to pack his stuff. He quit the band. I asked him why and he just said Bryan."

"BRYAN?" Shane yelled into the phone, "Bryan, I should have known."

"Shane, calm down your not making sense." Mark said.

"Nicky probably told Bryan that he_.we_.well," Shane stumbled over the words.

"You are gay and together?" Mark guessed.

"How did you know?" Shane was glad he was sitting down because if he hadn't been he would have fallen over.

"Come on Shane, I've known forever. I am one of your best friends." Mark said.

"Your ok with this?" Shane couldn't believe Mark was saying this.

"Aye it's your life." Mark said.

"I have to talk to Bryan and find out what he said to Nicky." Shane stood.

"No wait until I talk to Kian and we'll talk together. It will be easier if we're all there." Mark said.

"Ok." Shane had no intention of waiting. "Bye."

Shane started to walk toward the dressing rooms where he knew Bryan would be. He walked in the door and yelled, "Bryan you asshole," Shane walked in to the dressing room to see Bryan on the phone, "get off the phone I need to talk to you." He yelled again.

Bryan hung up the phone, "I have nothing to say to you."

"Yes you do, You're my friend." Shane said

"Was Shane," Bryan corrected. "Before I found out you were fooking my friend."

"Just because I'm gay you won't be my friend? That's low Bryan." Shane walked closer to Bryan.

"I don't care what you think, you knew that's how I feel," Bryan stated.

"What did you say to Nicky? How could you hurt him?" Shane yelled "I should kick your ass."

"You and what army?" Bryan said standing to his full height.

"Me," Kian said as he stepped in the door.

"…and ME" Mark said following behind Kian.

"Oh come on guys," Bryan said sitting back down, "You know what their doing is wrong."

"Right, because you're a saint Bryan, or was it you that got Kerry pregnant and then married her?" Kian stated.

"He's right you know, you have no room to judge people Bry." Mark sat down in a chair.

"That's different---" Bryan started to say.

"Is it? How so?" Mark interrupted.

"We were in love," Bryan started again.

"I love Nicky." Shane said quietly. Everyone looked at him startled because they had forgotten he was standing there. Tears were flowing freely now. "With all my heart." Shane's voice caught on the last word.

"How can you?" Bryan asked softly.

"You love him." Kian said.

"I do, but I'm not in love with him." Bryan said.

"Nicky completes me, we are half of a whole." Shane slid down the same wall Nicky had slid down earlier and started sobbing. "Now he's leaving and it's your fault, you ass."

"Shane…I…I'm sorry." Bryan faltered. "I didn't understand."

"Now you've fooked everything up. No more band. No more Nicky." Shane pounded the floor with his fist.

"Shit. I didn't want him to quit." Bryan stood up and walked over to Shane. He knelt down and touched his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"Maybe there's still time. I'll go talk to him." Kian offered and didn't wait for an answer. He walked out the door.

Nicky threw his hotel key onto the bed and began furiously grabbing his duffle bags and his suitcases and opening them on the freshly made bed. He started in the bathroom and grabbed all his things from there, because those were always the things he forgot to pack. As more tears fell from his tired eyes, he remembered a time not long ago when he had forgotten his toothbrush more than once in a week, and Shane had gone out and bought him twenty, to see how long those lasted him.

He willed the thought of Shane out of his mind, he didn’t want to think about him. His heart beat soundly against his chest, making it hard to breathe properly. A picture of Shane popped into his mind and Nicky harshly clicked the television on to drown out his thoughts.

Realizing his cell phone was still on, he clicked it off and threw it into the top of one of the bags. On top of that, he threw all of his t-shirts.

His mind was racing and his breath was ragged, and he barely registered what he was doing. He had turned into some sort of robot.

Nicky had known Bryan would react the way he had, but he hadn’t known Bryan would be so cruel; Bryan and cruelty were not usually used in the same sentence.

All he wanted at that moment was to forget it happened. He wanted to run to Shane and throw himself into his arms and just stay there forever. But he couldn’t, because Shane would try to convince him to stay, and that would only make it harder in the long run.

There was a knock on the door when Nicky had gotten everything but a couple pairs of sneakers into his bags. Thinking it was Shane, Nicky stayed quiet, just sitting on the edge of his bed in despair. He wiped his partially dried eyes on the sleeve of his shirt and sniffed.

“NICKY!” Came a voice from the other side of the door, “It’s Kian! Let me in!”

“Go away, Kian. I’m busy.”

Kian put his head against the door, “Nicky, I’ve got a key. I’m coming in there anyway.”

Nicky stood up in surprise, wondering how the hell Kian had gotten a key. A few seconds later, Kian strolled into the room and closed the door quietly behind him. After he’d locked it, he threw the key at Nicky. “Got it from the front desk.”

“What are ya doing here?” Nicky demanded, wiping his eyes again; he hated crying in front of any of his band mates, it made him feel weak.

Kian put a light hand on his shoulder, “I’m here to talk ya out of making a brilliantly huge mistake.”

Nicky pulled away and zipped up his last bag, “Ya can have those shoes, I won’t be needing them.”

“Nicky,” Kian sighed in exasperation, “Would ya listen to yourself, you’re about to quit your fooking life just because Bryan was an arse.”

“How d’ya even know what’s going on?” Nicky asked him, taking one last glance around the room. Except for the shoes lying near the door, it was neglected of any human touch.

“Shane,” Kian replied, and noticed Nicky flinched slightly as if he had been struck, “Ya really are in love with him, aren’t ya. I suppose I didn’t think Shane was lying or anything, but I wasn’t sure if your feelings were as strong as his.”

Nicky’s head snapped towards Kian and he narrowed his eyes, “What did Shane say?” His voice was weak and pressed, and Kian could tell he was fighting the urge to just crawl into a hole and die.

“He said he loved ya with all his heart, lad,” Kian answered seriously.

Nicky shook his head, a few tears falling onto his red cheeks, “It’s over, Kian. I’m off.”

“Don’t go, Nicky, nobody wants ya to.”

“I’m going,” Nicky said sternly, picking up his bags.

When he’d left the room, Kian grabbed his cell phone and began punching in numbers.

Shane stayed with Mark in Bryans dressing room. They talked and hugged. A little while later his cell phone rang. "Hullo?" Shane said.

"Shane? It's Kian. You better move now. He's going to the airport. He wouldn't listen. Go now I'll tell you what plane on the way."

Shane jumped up and ran out of the building to his car. Mark and Bryan ran with him and got in as he started to take off.

"Shane, what’s going on?" Mark gripped the dashboard as Shane made a hard turn.

"Nicky's at the airport." Shane said. "Kian you still there?"

"Aye, I'm heading to the airport to." Kian said.

Shane pulled up to emergency parking at the airport and leapt out of the car. "I'll park it don't worry." Bryan said.

"Thanks Bry." Shane said as he hugged his friend.

"Don't mention it." Bryan said, "Just go find Nicky. Tell him I'm sorry."

"I will." With that Shane took off running.

Shane made it to the gate as Nicky was handing his ticket to the lady at the desk. "NICKY!" Nicky turned around. "Don't leave me, don't leave us. Please..." Shane took a breath and started singing, "When I see how my path seemed to end up before your face the state of my heart the place where we are was written in the stars." Shane knew it was Nicky's favorite song. Shane looked at Nicky as he finished singing. Nicky was wiping tears away. "Please don't leave me."

"Aye, don't leave him lad." A voice piped up. When Nicky saw who that voice belonged to his mouth dropped open.

"Bryan?" Was all he could say.

"Aye? I'm sorry." Bryan said. Nicky grinned and ran to Shane. Shane hugged him tight and Nicky felt more arms join the hug as Mark, Kian and finally Bryan walked forward and hugged them.

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