He liked the quiet of an empty house, the freedom of a single life, the life of a spinster.

It wasn’t until he was in his late teens that he realized not everyone was like this. Most people liked to party, most people couldn’t be by themselves for long periods of time. Most people weren’t like him.

A trip to New Zealand and the meeting of new company made Elijah realize that maybe he hadn’t known the secret to life, maybe life wasn’t supposed to be solitary, perhaps there were more games to play besides solitaire.

Elijah realized he was lonely, and it was then that he decided he hated being alone; he hated the quiet of an empty house, the freedom of a single life and the sadness of a life alone.

He went out every night with his co-stars, who soon became more to him than just people he worked with. They became his friends.

Elijah had always had friends, but never friends that he couldn’t see saying goodbye to. It was as if they had molded into him, as if they had become a part of him.

In turn, he had become a part of them.

It was a wonderful and splendid experience, but it was also terrifying.

What would he do when he had to return to his quiet life of loneliness? What would happen when he had to say goodbye to his other halves?

The word ‘lonely’ had not been in Elijah’s vocabulary until New Zealand. He found himself lonely at the drop of a hat. He no longer found fun in watching television alone at night with a bowl of popcorn. He hated drinking by himself and waking up with a hangover by himself.

He wanted to share his life with someone. For the first time in his life, he actually wanted to be with someone.

It was an odd sensation to wake up one morning and realize that you are not the person you thought you were. Revelations hit you from all angels, you have been alone all your life, and you liked it up until now.

So why did it change?

Elijah wanted independence more than anything else in the world, he wanted to be able to survive on his own and live by himself.

The most he could do was move from his mother’s house to a guest house in her back yard.

And that was okay, there was nothing wrong with wanting to be close to your mother. Especially in his line of work.

Elijah found himself longing for his time back in New Zealand so much that when it came time for pick-ups, he was the first to arrive. He’d be in his hotel room bursting with anticipation of the fun to be had in their short few weeks together.

These people were his family, and as such, his entire being depended on his relationship with them.

They didn’t mind him tagging along wherever they went, they loved to have him for company, but they worried about him.

It was as if he couldn’t survive as just one person. He needed to be known as “The Fellowship” now instead of just being known as “Elijah Wood.”

Elijah could see it in their eyes, and he could see it in the mirror. He’d need to fix this problem before the pick-ups for ‘Return of the King’ was finished.

This left him with three weeks. Three weeks to become the person he was before.

The funny thing about change is that once you’re changed, it’s quite difficult to go back to how things used to be.

During breaks, he would go to his trailer and lock it. He would make himself dinner, read and watch television alone. He would put music on without asking anyone else’s opinion on his choices and he would play solitaire.

Elijah felt his life crumbling before him. He loved being around everyone else, talking and laughing and enjoying life…living it to the fullest.

Now that he had to be on his own, he wasn’t sure what to do. Part of him wanted to just say “Screw it” and go live with Billy or Dom, or even Sean and his family.

He knew that was the wrong option, however. He was a smart guy, and he’d need to do this on his own.

They wanted to help him as much as possible, but if you’re supposed to be independent, the last thing you need is help in BECOMING independent.

Elijah knew that when he got this all figured out, there would be a girl waiting and she would be the one he’d keep forever.

This thought excited him, it was the thing to look forward to when all the work was getting too hard to bare.

Slowly, he found he was enjoying his own company. He got lost in the thoughts inside his head and he wrote a lot about his feelings in a new journal.

He furthered his intelligence by taking several online courses on languages and history and different cultures.

Eventually, he even played Solitaire again without screaming and yelling and throwing the cards all over the place.

Sure, he was still lonely when he was by himself, but he could handle it. It was more a twinge of wanting to be somewhere else, doing something more fun than his current project.

This was natural, he knew, so it didn’t worry him.

After three years of being an Elijah who didn’t want to be left alone, he began seeking solitude even though he knew he didn’t have to.

His behavior bordered on hermit, but that was okay, that was just like the pre-Lord of the Rings Elijah.

He saw Billy and Dom and the rest of the cast often enough to keep himself from going crazy and he enjoyed himself at other times.

Elijah began new hobbies, he started a record label and signed numerous garage bands; he wanted to give back, to bring more music into the world. He wanted to expand people’s minds and give them something that would make them happy.

He wanted music to be made which could be listened to alone, in an empty house, in a vacant room; just one person, a pair of headphones and a CD player. No frills, no parties, no people, no mind-altering substances, just music.

Elijah found a place in which he was emotionally centered. He had enough loneliness to be considered ‘normal’ and enough group fun to be considered a partier.

And he still played Solitaire.

-lyrics from “Loneliness Knows Me By Name” by Westlife on their “Coast to Coast” CD