"Grrrrrrrrr," Billy growled, baring his teeth menacingly.
"What. Are. You. Doing?" Sean asked, pulling away and holding his plate out to the shorter man.
Billy took the sandwich off the plate and took a bite, "I was hungry."
"You're always hungry. That doesn't mean you can take my sandwich."
"It looked delicious."
"It should. I just bought it."
"OOOH!" Billy cried excitedly. "From my favorite shop?"
"Yes," Sean grumbled, plopping into the makeup chair and staring at his reflection, and Billy's beyond his.
Dom and Elijah were arguing about what CD to put into the player when Orlando pranced in wearing his full elf gear. "Let's go forth, hobbits!"
"We're not dressed yet," Dom stated, walking towards his makeup chair and picking up his revised script. Elijah gleefully put his music choice on and soon Cheap Trick were blasting from the speakers.
"I thought it was Beatles day," Orlando said, leaning against the wall and surveying the four hobbits.
"It was," Dom replied. "But Elijah pulled rank."
"Since when is he above you?"
"Since we gave each other levels," Elijah explained, taking a chip from the bag Dom offered him. "I'm Captain."
Orlando looked expectantly at Dom, who said through his mouthful, "Genfull."
"Hmmm? Didn't catch that."
"General," Dom stated, swigging down some soda. "I've been deemed General."
Orlando decided not to comment and instead changed the subject. "There are a bunch of contest winners outside wanting to meet the four hobbits." He examined his nails for a minute, whistling "Gollum's Song" and tapping his foot against the trailer's floor.
"Have you guys ever seen Hogan's Heros?" Sean questioned, looking intently at Dom and Elijah while Billy munched happily on his sandwich. "Or even Saving Private Ryan....or, for God's sake, what about ANY war movie ever made?"
"Hogan's Heros was a TV show. Like MASH," Elijah replied. "Not a movie."
"So, about these contest winners," Dom said, as if he hadn't heard Sean's question, nor Elijah's rebuttal.
"Oh, right," Orlando cleared his throat. "They're here to meet us and...erm, take pictures, I think."
"Good Lord," Elijah sighed. "Orly, you better go out the back way. They'll rip your clothes off."
"Ha ha, Lij." Though Orlando did look a bit pale and worried. He put on an exaggerated manly voice, "Is there a back door?"
"No," Billy, Dom, Elijah and Sean simultaneously answered.
Orlando took a deep breath, "I'm too young to die."
"Don't forget that you're too handsome."
"And charming."
"And witty."
"And---"
Orlando cut Sean off, "All right, all right. I'll go out first, but you better not leave me out there to my own devices."
Billy swallowed the rest of Sean's sandwich, "Why? Are you going to have to juggle?"
"That would be something to see," Dom commented lightly, waving to the makeup women as they entered to attach the hobbits' wigs.
"I don't juggle," Orlando stated blandly.
Billy plopped down into his seat, grinning cheekily, "Aw, but Orly! There isn't anything you can't do!"
"Shut it, Boyd, or I'll make you soil your kilt."
"I'm not wearing a kilt."
"Well," Orlando faltered, then regained composure. "The proverbial one, then."
"I believe he was using it as an expression," Elijah cut in. "It was a threat, albeit an empty one, which is like 'Shut it, Boyd, or you'll be speaking out of her arse.' Or something to that effect."
Orlando bowed and then sauntered out of the trailer. All was quiet, except for random screams and sobs from the fangirls who were about a foot away.
Dom, after his wig was put on and another girl had been reduced to tears, mused, "The only thing seperating us from them is a thin wall of winabago."
"I wonder if they've pulled his clothes off yet?" Sean pondered.
"I wonder if he wore his underwear today," Billy quipped, looking thoughtful. "Yesterday he didn't and when his elf pants split, we got quite a show. I hope he doesn't give those girls a show. They'll all faint dead away and go home to tell their Mums, 'I saw Orlando Bloom's bum!' And THEN there will be t-shirts on the internet for thirty pounds sporting the words, 'I Went To the LOTR Set and All I Got Was A Glimpse of OB's Bum'. Ahh that'll be good fun."
Elijah looked horrified, "I...I have no words."
Dom grinned, "That's a first."
"OY!" Orlando yelled from outside, pounding on the door. "BILLEH! There's a girl out here who has something to yell at ya!"
Billy was visibly trembling until a girlish voice shouted through the open window, "BILLY BOYD! I WANT TO HAVE YOUR CHILDREN!"
"That sounds remarkably like Orlando," Dom smirked.
"Oh Dear God," Billy muttered. "I think I've soiled my kilt."