It’s All So Difficult
Chapter 1
A Treat In The Train
Lily opened the cabin and sighed. Just this once she had bought a first class ticket. Every time she travelled, and she did that a lot, she was forced to use the second class seats. She didn’t mind at all, but she would always look at the nice cabins with a bit of envy. Six seats, like you were in your own private room. She then decided she wanted to travel in one of those for a time. And now here she was. She’d thought it was a perfect moment, for this time she would be sitting in the train for five hours.
She put her bag on the shelve and closed the little door behind her, shutting her off from the rest of the world. She smiled and did a little dance. Lily took of her coat and placed it one of the coat hooks attached to the wall. She opened her backpack and got out a book, after which she sat down and opened it. Then she looked out of the window and smiled.
She loved sitting here, the feeling almost burst out of her chest. Sometimes she just felt so immensely happy and this was definitely one of those moments. She was glad
she could sometimes still be surprised like a little child and be extremely happy with the simple things. Of course not always, but there were times when just a butterfly could brighten her day.Lily hummed a song she had just heard on her way to the train station. Her dad had given her a lift and she had turned on the radio. The train started moving and Lily’s grin expanded. Slowly her humming started to change into singing.
“Kiss me out of the bearded barley. Nightly, beside the green, green grass. Swing, swing, swing the spinning step. You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress...” she started to sing and she put away the book.
She raised up from her seat and started swinging. No one would see her. Next to the cabin was a little hallway, but hardly anyone ever used it. Only the people who worked at the railroad sometimes came by to check her ticket, but she knew they wouldn’t check the tickets just yet. The feeling of doing something silly in a public place, but not being seen was something Lily enjoyed most.
She dropped her hands and took a deep breath. Then she grinned widely as another song popped into her head. Feeling this happy almost equalled the feeling of being in love.
“Underneath the starlight, starlight there's a magical feeling so right. It will steal your heart tonight. You can try to resist; try to hide from my kiss, but you know, but you know that you can't fight the moonlight. Deep in the dark you'll surrender your heart, but you know, but you know that you can't fight -”
“Ehum..” someone behind her said as he cleared his throat. Immediately Lily started to blush and she squeezed her eyes, hoping he would go away.
“Your ticket please?”
Lily walked over to her backpack and pulled out her wallet. Then she turned around and gazed into the most beautiful green eyes she had ever seen. “Uhm..” she stuttered as she gave him the ticket. “Here you go.”
“Thank you.” He looked at the ticket and then handed it back over. “Have a nice journey,” he said and he smiled at her before turning around and walking over to the next cabin.
Lily hit herself in the face and moaned. Just a thing for her to get that embarrassed. She sat down, picked up the book again, and started reading, desperately trying to forget what happened just a moment ago.
She was on her way to her best friend Amber who lived in London. She and Amber had been friends for years, but since about four years ago Lily had been living with her parents in Scotland. They both grew up in Manchester, but as Lily and her parents moved northwards Amber decided to move to London.
A year ago it finally happened and Lily envied Amber in her decision. She couldn’t wait to get a place of her own in the capital city. But she missed Manchester. She had loved living there and many nights she cried over leaving it. Most of all she missed their neighbours. Lily loved their street. There used to live a lot of families with children and there wasn’t a day that went by without children at the door asking if Lily would come out to play.
Even as she grew older her closest friends lived in the same street. She had met Amber in school and they immediately became friends. Amber had
spent a lot of time at Lily’s and she too loved Lily’s neighbours, even though she liked her own neighbourhood better. But quickly after Lily turned 14 years old her parents had told her they were moving.Moving to Scotland was the worst thing that could happen to Lily. At least she had thought so back then. They had ended up in Glasgow and Lily had loved everything about the city. She could even speak with the Scottish tongue and sometimes the dark, slipped into her normal speech. Amber found it hilarious and tried to imitate it unsuccessfully.
“Is it okay if we sit here?”
Lily looked up with a frown on her face. Who dared disturbing her in her cabin? A man was standing in the opening of the door and another guy stood behind him. He looked strangely familiar. She shrugged. “Sure.” What else was there to say?
“Thanks.” The man shot her a grateful smile and Lily smiled back before returning her attention to the book. She didn’t notice that the second guy sat down beside her, until he started talking. She frowned confused as she heard his American accent and looked up. Her eyes widened and her heart missed a beat. She looked at the other man and now she recognized him too. A blush crawled onto her face as fast as lightning. She bit her lip and looked down at her book again before closing her eyes, hoping they wouldn’t notice the furious red colour on her cheeks.
“So, how was your flight?” the Scottish man asked.
“It was okay,” the American replied laughing and he ran his hand through his hair. “I’m getting used to it, I guess.” He looked at Lily and smiled, even though she was still squeezing her eyes shut. “What are you reading?”
She opened her eyes and her heart started to race out
of insecurity. “I.. me?” Her cheeks turned an even more furious red, making him smile friendly at her.He nodded and laughed. “Yeah you.. You are reading a book, aren’t you?”
Lily slowly raised the book so that he could read the title and looked down. She couldn’t believe she was reading exactly this book. As she looked up at him,
he raised his eyebrows and smiled. “Lord of the Rings! Wow! What chapter are you reading at the moment?”“Uhm,” she replied as she looked at the page in front of her. “The Council of Elrond.. I know I’m not far in the book, but I didn’t have time before..”
He frowned confused, but smiled. Now the Scottish man said something. “You don’t have to apologize. Is this the first time you’re reading it?”
Lily nodded and looked down again.
The two men forgot about her and started talking to each other again. “So he flies in straight from Manchester?” she heard the American man ask and she
looked up at the mentioning of her old town.“Manchester?” she asked before she knew it. She put her hand in front of her mouth and again her face turned red. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean on eavesdropping..” She lowered her eyes, rolled them at her own behaviour and tried to read again.
“That’s really okay,” the Scotsman said. “Yes. Manchester.”
Lily looked up, cautiously smiling. “I love that town,” she said.
“Yeah so does a friend of ours. He used to live there.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Really? Wow, that’s cool. I used to live there too. Loved it, but then we moved.”
“Whereto?” the Scotsman asked.
“Glasgow,” Lily replied with a Scottish accent. There was a smile on her face.
“Ah!” the Scotsman started to grin. “A girl from Glasgow. You know, I’m Glaswegian.”
“Oh don’t you just love Glasgow?” the American said, trying to imitate his friend’s accent.
“Shut up,” the Scot shot back at his friend. He stretched out his hand at Lily. “I’m Billy.”
She took it and smiled. “Lily. Hey, that rhymes..”
The American looked at her and smiled. “I’m Sean.”
Lily nodded. “Yeah.. well actually I knew that already. I think you guys are the reason I’m reading this book. I loved the movies.”
“Well thank you!” Sean said and Billy laughed.
She looked at her watch. “Are you sick of us already?” Billy grinned and Lily looked up shocked.
“No.. I.. I just..”
Billy waved his hand, still grinning. “Just kidding..”
“Don’t tease her like that,” Sean said to his friend. “She’s not used to you.. yet.”
Billy shrugged and Lily blushed as she continued to read. Suddenly she looked up. The question had popped up in her head and it was just urging her to let it out. “Do you know where in Manchester he used to live? Your friend?”
Sean shook his head and so did Billy. “No idea..”
“Oh..”
Billy looked at her questioningly. “Why?”
“Well, maybe I knew him. But I guess not, since he’s all famous and everything.”
“He plays Merry,” Sean said, but Lily shrugged.
“You all wear wigs and stuff, I don’t know..”
“His name is Dominic?” Billy tried and Lily’s eyes showed a sign of recognition as her memories brought her five years back in the past. Quickly she shook her head and looked at the two of them. They were both waiting for a reply. “Dominic? Monaghan? Floppy ears, big nose? Crooked jaw?”
The two men laughed. “I guess you could say that,” Billy said, “but I don’t think he’d appreciate it.”
“That’s Dom? He plays Merry in Lord of the Rings??”
Sean smiled and nodded.
“Oh my..”
“What?” Billy asked curiously.
“Uhm…” Lily blushed. “We lived in the same street.. I used to have a major crush on him..” she confessed.
Billy’s jaw dropped. “Really?!”
Lily nodded, her cheeks burning. She couldn’t believe she had just told them that. In all those years only Amber had known. She had not even told Dominic himself. He was nine years older and at that time she was 13, whereas he was already 22. But her crush went deep and she never forgot about him. But she hadn’t recognized him in Lord of the Rings.
“Well, well,” Billy said and smiled. “We should get you two together then.”
She shook her head and made supporting hand gestures. “No, no, no! That’s not necessary. He probably doesn’t even remember me.”
“Ah come on, who can forget a girl like you?”
Lily looked at Billy, who grinned. “You’re quite the charmer, aren’t you?” she concluded and Sean laughed.
“Well Billy, I think that’s a record. She saw through you in just 10 minutes.”
She smiled and started reading again, but soon her mind drifted off.
~ * ~
“Come on, Amber,” Lily shouted, “he’s almost leaving!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Amber replied, not really listening. She stuffed the last schoolbooks in her bag. “I’ll be right there, I just have to grab my sleeping bag.”
“No, do that later. Come on!!”
Amber hurried down the stairs and Lily threw her jacket towards her. “Hurry up, we’re already late.” She hopped from her left leg onto her right to stress the rush they were in. Amber never hurried and Lily really wanted to see Dominic before school. He lived just a few houses down the street and she knew he would always leave at this time. Whereto she didn’t know, but she was sure it was somewhere exciting. A boy like that must have an interesting life.
She opened the door and skipped down the path to the pavement, followed by Amber, who closed the door behind her. “What’s your rush anyway?” Amber complained as she finally found time to look at her watch. “We’re early, it’s only 8 o’clock. School starts at 9!”
Lily shortly glanced over her shoulder. “We’re late,” she declared and Amber shrugged. Lily smiled at the thought of seeing him again. She was really in love. Quickly she made her way to his house and saw the little brown bench. Luckily enough some people had decided there was need for a bench right across the street from his house. She sat down on it and motioned Amber to do the same. Now it was just a matter of time.
“Why are we sitting here?” Amber asked as she looked back at the warm house she had just left. It was cold and she shivered in her red coat. “Why couldn’t we just stay a bit longer at your house?”
Lily shrugged and didn’t answer. She didn’t want to tell Amber just yet. “Let’s just sit here, okay?” She looked at Amber for a split second but turned her head as she heard a door slam. There he was, walking towards his car. He looked up and for a moment Lily thought he really saw her. Saw her in the way she saw him. She started smiling and bit her lip to try and hold it back from Amber. The blush on her cheeks said enough, but thankfully it was in the middle of the winter. Suddenly Dominic raised his hand and waved at her. Lily waved back and her grin grew wider.
“Who’s that?” Amber frowned next to her.
“No one,” Lily lied. “Just a guy who lives there..”
~ * ~
Lily opened her eyes and smiled. She had told Amber the week after, since she couldn’t come up with a good reason for sitting in the cold everyday.
She focused her attention on her book again.
~ * ~
“You’re in love with him?” Amber’s eyes were big and innocent. “You don’t even know him!”
Lily frowned angrily. “I do know him. His name is Dominic and he lives down the street.”
“But have you ever talked to him?”
She shrugged. “No..” she softly said. “But I’m gonna.. soon!” she quickly added.
Amber looked at her with a sarcastic look on her face. “Oh really? And how are you going to do that?”
Again Lily shrugged. “I don’t know. But I’m gonna speak to him.” She smiled. “Maybe I’ll just nick some of his mail and then return it. You know, like it’s been delivered wrongly.”
Her friend rolled her eyes. “You can’t lie. So I think he’d know immediately.”
Lily moped at her friend’s behaviour. Amber was always so pessimistic and down to earth. She didn’t believe in love at first sight.
“Have you finished that essay on dogs yet?” she asked to change the subject.
Amber shook her head. “No I haven’t. And you? You’re doing yours about dolphins, right?”
“Yeah.. so I think I’m gonna watch ‘Flipper’ again today.” She laughed.
“That movie? I don’t think Dominic is attracted to girls who watch children’s movies.” Amber stuck out her tongue at Lily.
~ * ~
“Lily?”
She opened her eyes as she felt someone shaking her shoulder.
“Lily, I’m sorry I’m waking you, but where do you have to go?” Billy looked at her questioningly.
She yawned and quickly put her hand over her mouth. “Uhm London,” she mumbled. “Why? Where are we? How long have I slept?” She looked out of the window into a pitch dark surrounding.
“We’re somewhere in England now.” He sighed. “Goodbye Scotland.”
She laughed and turned her head back to him. “Aww.. But I’m always prepared to speak Scottish if you need me to.”
Billy laughed and shook his head. “No that’s not necessary.”
Lily shrugged and smiled. “Whatever you say..” They were sitting alone in the cabin. “Where’s Sean?” she asked and Billy smiled. “He’s just paying the toilet a visit.”
The door opened and Sean stepped in again. “Hey, you’re awake!”
She laughed and pointed at Billy, who had a very guilty expression on his face. “His fault.”
“Oh no.. he didn’t start singing the Scottish anthem again, did he?”
Lily burst out in laughter. “Oh god no! No way. I’d smack his face if he would do that.” Billy looked offended and she smiled sweetly at him. “Sweetie, I love Scotland, but I prefer not being woken up by the anthem.”
Sean laughed and so did Billy. “She called me ‘sweetie’!” he exclaimed. She rolled her eyes, before starting to laugh herself.
~ * ~
“I can’t believe we’re in London already,” Lily sighed as the train entered Paddington Station.
“I know,” Billy said as he nodded. “The journey went really fast.”
Sean agreed. “Yeah.. Man, when Billy suggested going by train I thought he was out of his mind. Why go by train if you can fly? But it was really nice, so different.”
Lily nodded and stood up. She got her big bag off the shelve again and put on her coat. “Well, I guess this is it,” she said as she looked down at the two men. “It was nice meeting you.”
“We’re not there yet,” Billy protested, but at that exact moment the train stopped and Lily lost her balance. She fell on top of Billy’s lap and immediately started blushing like crazy.
“Oh my god,” she exclaimed as she got off him. “I’m so sorry about that.. The train..”
Billy laughed. “It’s okay, I know you want me.” He grinned cheeky at her and Lily grimaced at him, before putting her hand on her chest and pulling a dramatic face. “It’s true, I can’t deny it anymore. I want you!”
Sean chuckled and Billy laughed. “You should be an actress,” he said.
She shook her head as she grabbed her bags. “No way, that would be terrible. We’d end up with..” She imitated holding a clapperboard and pulled a very bored face. “Take two thousand, six hundred and forty-nine.”
“Nah, I’m sure it wouldn’t be that bad,” Sean said. “Why don’t you try out some time? Only as an extra or so. You know, ‘girl in shop’ or whatsoever.”
Lily laughed. “Well maybe I will. Any good films being shot in the area?”
“Actually…” Billy started, but Lily shushed him. “No, I was just kidding. I’m no actress and I’m not.. camera material.” The look in her eyes told the two men she didn’t want to talk about it anymore and the guys shrugged.
They made their way out of the train and Lily looked around as she stepped out of the train. Billy and Sean followed her. “Are you being picked up?” Billy asked and Lily looked at him. She smiled. “Yes dad,” she teased and Billy grimaced. “I’m just looking out for you, a nice young girl like you can quickly become a victim.”
Lily turned around, dropped her bags and hugged him impulsively. “You’re sweet,” she said and smiled at him. Then she hugged Sean. “And so are you. And you’ve got a wonderful family.”
“Thank you,” Sean said. “I’ll tell them you think so.”
She nodded and picked up her bags again. “Right, I think I’d better be going. My friend told me to meet her at the entrance to the tube.”
Billy nodded. “Okay.. well have a nice stay here then. It was nice meeting you.”
“Yeah.. same here..” Her gaze shifted from Billy to Sean and back again. “I hope you have a nice stay too, whatever you’re doing here.”
“Thanks again,” Sean said. He looked around. “Are we being picked up?” he then asked Billy, who shrugged. “I don’t know.” Then he turned his attention towards Lily, who was still lingering around. “Hey you. Go. Meet your friend.”
“But what about you?”
“We’ll be fine.. We’re two grown up men.”
She raised one eyebrow and smiled.
“Okay get rid of that sarcastic look,” Billy laughed and Lily smiled innocently.
“Alright. Well then I’d better get going. It was really, really nice meeting you..” she said again and both the guys smiled.
“The feeling’s mutual. And you never know, maybe we’ll meet again!”
Lily laughed. “I doubt that, but it would be nice. Okay.. bye now!” She put her backpack on her back and took the other bag in her hand. With her free hand she waved goodbye and made her way down to the tube.
“Lily!!” Amber shouted and she started running towards her. “Oh I’m so glad to see you!”
Lily smiled and hugged her friend. “Great to see you again too.”
“So how was your trip?”
She shrugged. “It was nice, met some nice guys.”
Amber lifted her eyebrows. “Oh? Cute? Single?”
Lily rolled her eyes and laughed. “Yes and we’ve had passionate sex all the way to London.”
Her friend took her bag and made her way to the escalator, followed by Lily. “Ah you haven’t changed a bit. Well, except for your looks. You look absolutely great.” She stepped onto the escalator. “What’s your secret?”
“Scottish air combined with the passionate Celts.”
Amber turned around and looked at her shocked.
“Just kidding!” She smiled. “You look great too.”
“Thanks,” Amber replied, happy to see her friend again. “Now let’s get home.”
»
Chapter 2