“I can’t believe you’re online again,” Elijah stated, clicking his tongue as he entered the living room to see Dom sitting at his computer chair, hunched over with his nose nearly pressed against the screen.

Dom grunted some sort of response that only Gimli would have been able to translate.

“Don’t grunt at me, Dominic Monaghan!” Elijah perched himself in a chair behind Dom. “This is getting out of hand.”

Another grunt.

“Dom.”

Grunt.

“DOM!”

Dom flung himself around in the wheeled chair, looking livid at being interrupted. His voice, however, did not reflect his facial expression; he sounded extremely calm, and maybe a little curious. “Yes, Elijah? How may I help you?”

Elijah rolled his eyes heavenwards; he was used to this being ignored, but that didn’t mean he particularly liked it. Especially when his boyfriend used his free time to read some sort of crap off the internet.

“What’s that you’re reading?” Elijah tapped his index finger against the screen, which was filled with words; he assumed it was some sort of story, but he hoped it was an article of great importance, instead.

Dom turned back to the computer, clearing his throat. “Er, just a report about the Rainforest.”

“Which rainforest?”

“Oh, you know. That one.”

Elijah crossed his arms across his chest; standard ‘I‘m mad at you, but I‘ll pretend I‘m not’ stance. “No, I don’t believe I’m familiar with that one.”

A pause; he needed to find suitable words for a retort. However, he couldn‘t think of anything that would prove he‘d been reading about said Rainforest. “Is this the Spanish Inquisition? Am I not allowed to read on my own accord?”

“Geez. Don’t get all haughty.” Elijah stood up, pushed his vacated chair against the wall, and flopped down onto the couch, which was facing away from the computer ‘center’, as Dom called it; it was really just two computers, side by side, on two desks. There was one for each of them, because Elijah needed to do work, and Dom needed to have fun. Elijah suspected this fun had a lot to do with downloading porn on the internet, but he picked his battles with Dom, and didn’t chose this one. Plus, he didn‘t care if he looked at pictures of naked women, or whatever. It was his prerogative.

“Want to watch a movie?”

Dom was immersed in the computer world again; Elijah received another grunted response.

“DOMMMMMMMMMM!”

Dom parroted his voice. “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?”

“Can’t you spend some time off the line?”

Dom laughed quietly at Elijah’s choice of words, but didn’t comment; he knew Elijah was angry, and didn’t really want to make it worse.

“What do you do on there all the time?” Elijah questioned from the couch where he was sprawled, controller in hand, MTV2 blaring in the background.

“Read.”

“Read what?”

“Stuff.”

“WHAT stuff?”

“Shhhh.”

Elijah sat up on the couch, looking livid. “Pardon?”

“Shhhhhhhh!”

“Don’t shush me, Dominic!”

“Shhh! It’s at a good part!”

“I don‘t care! Don‘t shush me!” He paused, his forehead furrowed in concentration “What‘s at a good part?”

Dom tapped the screen. “This story.”

“Oh, are they discussing which animals are newly extinct?”

Turning around, Dom stared at Elijah in confusion. “What the bloody hell are you going on about?”

“I knew it!” Elijah flung the controller onto the couch and vaulted over it to land smoothly in front of Dom. “I KNEW IT!”

Dom shook his head, sighing. “You’ve lost your marbles, Elijah.”

He ignored this. “I knew you weren’t reading about the freaking Rainforest. You’re reading FAN FICTION!” There was heavy emphasis on ‘fan fiction,’ as if it were both a guilty pleasure (obviously, yes) and a very naughty swear. It was even accompanied by a dramatic gasp.

“So what if I am?” An eyebrow rose, to show he was not afraid to take it outside.

Elijah’s horrified/angry demeanor faded suddenly. “If you put your fists up, ala Bilbo in Fellowship, that statement would be even better.”

A laugh. “You’re giving me acting advice in the middle of a fight?”

A shrug. “You needed it.”

Snort. “Can we get back on the subject, please? I need to finish this story so I can comment before dinner.”

Elijah’s eyes widened; he shook his head and gaped at Dom like he’d never seen him before. He couldn’t even seem to come up with a good comeback.

“Should we get Chinese take away?” Dom asked, his eyes on the computer screen again; Elijah stood behind him, still gaping. “Or maybe Indian?” No response. “Elijah?” Nothing. “Elijah?” He spun around, and watched Elijah for several minutes before anyone spoke again.

“You’re reading slash, aren’t you?”

“Maybe I am.”

“Please tell me it’s not slash about us.”

Deadpan. “It’s not slash about us.”

“Are you just saying that ‘cause I asked you to?”

“Yes.”

Elijah put a hand to his forehead. “Dear, GOD, Dom. You’re addicted! It’s like the drink, only…only WORSE!”

“The drink?” Dom laughed quietly. “Elijah, you’ve been watching too many films from the 50s.”

“At least I’m not reading PORN about…” He paused, cocking his head to the side in confusion. “You’re reading porn about us?”

“Yeah.” Dom nodded. “DomLijah.”

“All this time I thought you were downloading pornographic photos.”

Dom laughed. “Yeah. Right. Like I would.”

Elijah frowned. “There’s porn about us on the internet?”

“Slash fan fiction,” Dom responded lightly. “Yeah.”

“Is it any good?”

“Yeah, most of it’s fantastic.” Dom got a little gleam in his eyes. “Almost better than reality!” He saw Elijah’s horrified face and changed his tune a bit. “Not nearly as good as reality, but a good pastime when…er..reality’s on hold?”

“Good cover.”

“Thanks.”

“So, this ‘slash’ you speak of. It’s of the DomLijah variety?”

“That’s right.”

“Hmmm.”

“Can I finish now?” Dom asked politely, making a little pouty face.

“Yeah. Send me the link. I’ll go read it on my computer.” Elijah went to his desk, plopped into his matching chair and logged online. Pretty soon the only sounds in the apartment were of the quiet whirring of the computers and the random clicks as they scrolled down the page.

When Dom had finished, he sat watching Elijah with an odd expression on his face. “Lij?”

“Yeah.”

“This is fun.”

“What? Reading slash about our relationship?”

Dom nodded. “It gives me ideas.”

A loud giggle. “I guess I won’t hit you over the head, then.”

“Why would you hit me over the head?”

“For reading fan fiction!” It was, again, accompanied by a dramatic gasp.

“It’s not illegal, for God’s sake.”

“It should be.”

“You’re reading it,” Dom pointed out.

There was a long pause. “Good point.”

“Thank you.”

“I will look the other way from now on, when you read slash, but I have one requirement. A favor, if you will.”

Dom blinked, a grin on his lips. “Okay.”

“Don’t ever shush me again.”