Of A Broken Heart

"I really want you to meet her," Billy said excitedly, dragging Dom in through the front door; he briefly greeted Elijah, the host of the party, as they brushed past him and into the bustling living room.

"Well, I want to meet her," Dom replied, gasping for breath. "But you needn't tear my arm off in the process." Billy stopped pulling, stopped walking, and waited while Dom righted himself (which meant fixing his hair, his shirt, and making sure Billy hadn't pulled any fingers off - he hadn't).

"Lij?" Billy questioned, turning around and looking towards the front door; Elijah appeared in front of him, slapping Dom on the back by way of greeting.

"What?" Elijah said, bouncing his head to the beat, which was supplied by huge speakers in the four corners of the large room.

"Is Halley here yet?"

Elijah glanced towards the back door. "I think she was out back with Hannah. Sean was regailing them with stories about helicopter landing."

Billy nodded, grinned, and hauled Dom off towards the back of the house. "Bill, I can walk, you know."

"Yeah, but if I let you go, you might not follow me."

Dom chuckled. "If I promise I'll follow you around like a puppy, will you let my arm go?"

Billy considered this for a moment as he plowed through the open back door, and he and Dom spilled out into the yard. Dom tripped over a lounge chair and went head-first into Billy, who, in turn, fell to the ground. (They narrowly missed the pool, which caused Billy to exhale a sigh of relief.)

"God, are you okay?" The voice was feminine, Dom knew that for sure; either it belonged to a girl, or to Elijah after he'd been kicked in the groin, but he figured the former. He was being pulled to his feet before he had time to place the voice with a face.

Sean was looking at him seriously, his hand on his upper arm. "Have you been drinking already?"

"No," Dom answered crossly, wiping his shirt free of dirt. "I haven't had any yet."

"It's my fault," Billy announced in his chipper Scottish accented voice. "I was dragging him."

"Huh," Hannah commented, grinning. "I didn't know you swung that way, Billy."

Billy's smile remained on his face. "I don't. I just wanted Dom to meet Halley."

He gestured beside him, where a fairly short girl with long wavy brown hair stood, his arm around her shoulders; she was wearing a funky shirt and jean skirt, and didn't have any makeup on. For some reason, Dom's breath caught in his throat, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to speak. A mantra worked its way into his head: please don't let this be Halley, please let it be someone else.

"Hi," she smiled, waving slightly. "It's nice to meet you." The same voice from before, when he'd fallen; her voice was lovely and light and held the slightest accent you'd ever heard. Even he couldn't place where she must be from, and Billy had never told him.

Dom felt his lips tug into a smile involuntarily at the sight of her. "Hullo," he said, his voice hoarse. He fell forward slightly, but Sean caught him and righted him again without pause; Dom felt his face flush.

"So, as I was saying...I'm not sure those helicopter pilots are trained properly," Sean continued as if he hadn't been interrupted at all. A conversation started to flow between the group of them, but Dom stayed quiet unless he was broken from his reverie by being called upon. He spoke to Billy, but didn't look at Hally again, even though he wanted to.

*

"What do you think of Billy's girlfriend?" Elijah asked, taking a sip of his drink; he waved to someone as they left, and then turned back to Dom, who was seated beside him on the couch.

"She's nice," Dom replied, his eyes on the drink in his hands; he twisted the bottle in circles until he realized Elijah was staring at him. "Why? Don't you like her?"

"I do," Elijah nodded slowly. "I just...she seems more your type, than Billy's, if I'm being honest."

Dom's throat constricted; he exhaled sharply and slammed a fist against his chest to make sure his throat continued working the rest of the night. He didn't need his body rebelling against him, at least not right now.

"Why do you say that?" Dom asked eventually, still not looking Elijah in the eye; he could tell Elijah was watching him closely, but he didn't dare look.

"I'm not sure," Elijah answered seriously. "Just a feeling. Hey, Billy. You going already?"

Billy was standing in front of them, his arm draped losely around Halley's waist. "Halley's gotta get up early for a class."

Dom glanced up. How much was Billy cradlerobbing this time, he wondered.

No one seemed to notice Dom's sudden interest in the conversation. "So, we'll head out. See you tomorrow?"

Elijah nodded. "Yeah, I'll see you then. Bye, Halley."

She smiled, her eyes on Dom's. "Goodbye."

They turned and left, leaving Dom to release the breath he'd been holding; he relaxed against the back of the couch, feeling clamy all over.

"Are you ill?" Elijah asked, but Dom didn't answer; he merely shook his head. He felt ill, yes, but he was pretty sure he wasn't coming down with anything.

Except his heartrate had picked up considerably and his palms were sweating like crazy. Maybe he needed his ears cleaned, but he could have sworn Halley told him she loved him. But that was impossible.

All she'd said was goodbye.

And, afterall, she was Billy's girlfriend. Not Dom's.

i remember falling down when he introduced me
i always shoot for subtlety but use the term so loosely
everyone was talking to her words from all directions
so i talked to him instead my only good protection
only on her way to leave she stopped to have a word
i know she said "'goodbye" but it's "i love you" that i heard

The next morning, Dom heard the phone ringing way off in the distance, but he was encased in a dream and was not able to move a muscle. That was until he realized he wasn't dreaming any longer; he jolted awake and pushed a sheet onto the floor as he raced towards the living room.

He stubbed his toe along the way, but only felt the pain for a moment while he cursed in anger. Breathing heavy, he answered the phone.

"Dom? It's Halley."

Dom blinked. "What?"

"It's Hal-ley," she said, a bit louder.

"Oh," he ran a hand through his hair, making it stand on end. "Oh! H--hi. How're you?"

"Good, thanks." Her voice was chipper this morning, and he assumed she must be a morning person; a quick glance at the clock told him it was late afternoon, and that possibly he'd been mistaken about the morning person thing.
"I'm sorry," her voice became apologetic and quiet. "Did I wake you? Billy said it'd be too early to call you."

"No, it's not too early," Dom responded, a yawn escaping. He coughed to make his voice seem more awake. "I've just gotten up. I tend to sleep until four PM, if I can, but today I got up early. At three."

She laughed, and he felt his knees buckled. "What the fuck," he whispered, dropping onto the couch.

"Pardon?" She said, and he could hear the sound of the highway behind her.

"Oh, nothing. Sorry. Erm---" He wasn't sure what to say. Why was she calling him, for one thing? For another, how'd she even get his number? Probably from Billy, of course, but still, why would she call him? She didn't even know him.

Almost as if she had heard his thoughts, she stated, "Billy told me to call you; he's driving and he hates being on his mobile while he gets roadrage at everyone."

"I know," Dom laughed, even though he didn't mean to. "I was pretty sure he was going to get roadrage at me last night before we got to the party. I was only going about 75 mph. Too slow for Bill."

She giggled. "No kidding. I fear for my life at this very moment. I fear more after he's had a few drinks, like he had last night. But we made it in one piece."

Dom chuckled. "Glad to hear it." Something about her laugh made him grin like a maniac; he wanted to make her laugh every second of everyday.

"We're going to a pub later, and we wanted to know if you'd like to go?"

We. Right. She was dating Billy. Of course. That was just Dom's luck, really, to be madly in love with his best friend's girlfriend. He stopped breathing. Madly in love? No, that's not possible.

His voice was squeaky when he finally answered. "Sure. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be great."

"Brilliant. We'll pick you up about seven. Closer to eight, Billy says."

"Okay," he held back a sigh. "See you then."

going to the telephone i swear it almost killed me
nearly coughing blood while saying, "no, it's not too early"
we joked about the party and i know i made her smile
then she said her boyfriend, too, had such a lovely time
and i don't know why i'm doing what i'm doing
i'm alright it's okay
i'm alright now, i don't want you anyway

"And then he goes into the 7-11 and announces to the whole place, 'I want porn and chocolate!'" Dom giggled hysterically at his own impression of Elijah, and then downed the rest of his drink. How many had he had since they'd gotten there a half hour ago? He couldn't remember. He only knew that drinking made him feel better about the fact that he couldn't take his eyes of Halley, and wouldn't, unless someone dragged him away kicking and screaming.

Halley was beaming a smile at him. "That's hilarious!"

"There's more Elijah stories where that came from," Billy remarked, holding his drink up and tipping the liquid into his mouth. He wiped his mouth, set his glass down and nodded.

Dom stared at Billy, wondering if there was ever a way that Halley would choose him over Billy. He couldn't seem to find a flaw if his life depended on it. Sure, he told jokes a lot, but they were always funny; he wore his kilt quite a bit, but Dom heard girls liked guys in kilts. Billy was a perfect type of guy, there was no way around that. Hell, if Dom were gay, he'd have gone for Billy, too. Or maybe Elijah.

He shook his head clear of those thoughts, feeling his head get progressively dizzier. His eyes were on Halley again, taking in her pale skin, her brown eyes, her long hair.

In his drunken state, he was pretty sure he would do something he'd regret. So maybe it'd be best for all involved if he just left. That way, there'd be nothing to apologize for in the morning.

Billy's voice broke through his thoughts while he was searching for an excuse to go home. "Gotta go to the toilets. Dom."

Dom tore his eyes from Halley momentarily; he hoped it wasn't obvious how he was feeling. Sometimes his feelings were written plainly on his face and he couldn't get away with anything. His heart pounded against his chest as Billy surveyed him with placid green eyes.

"Will you watch her?" Billy asked, indicating the girl to his side; Halley laughed, shaking her head. "I don't trust the blokes round here."

Dom saluted (though he had no idea why) and Billy walked away from the table; Dom suddenly felt quite sick. Being with Halley in a room that also held her boyfriend was one thing. Being alone at a table with her was quite another.

Without giving much thought to what was coming from his mouth, Dom blurted, "He's protective of you, is he?"

Halley inclined her head slightly, her lips in a smile. "He tends to be, yes."

"How long have you been dating?" He signaled for a waiter, but he wasn't sure if anyone would come and take his drink order or not.

"Not very long," she replied, daintily sipping her own drink (which was half full - she'd drank probably half the amount Dom and Billy had already consumed).

Dom grinned at her, running his fingertip around the rim of the glass. "He's a good bloke, Billy."

"Yes." She smiled, and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Dom's fingers itched to run through her hair, but he restrained himself. The last thing he needed was for his hand to get tangled in her hair and for Billy to return from the loo at the exact moment that Dom got up guts enough to kiss her.

Not that he would kiss her, of course, since she had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who happened to be his best friend.

Sometimes...life sucked.

now we're drinking at a pub and having one too many
i'm looking at him for a flaw and man i can't find any
god i feel so guilty for the feelings i'm containing
and hearing no applause from all the thoughts i'm entertaining
heading for the bathroom he says, "will you watch her close"
she laughs as he says, "I just don't trust those other boys"
and i don't know why i'm doing what i'm doing
it's alright i'm okay
i'm alright now, i don't want you anyway

Dropping onto his bed, Dom groaned, rubbing a hand through his hair and then over his forehead, trying to will the headache to go away.

It was late, he didn't know what time, exactly, but he knew they'd been at the pub an awfully long time. It was probably nearing dawn, but Dom wasn't tired. On the contrary, he was wide awake, despite the splitting headache breaking out over his forehead.

He couldn't stop thinking of her, no matter what he did. Everything was related to her, in some way. If he tried to get his mind onto a film he was about to do, her face popped into his brain; likewise, when he thought of what he'd have for breakfast, or of some CDs he was going to buy the following day.

Desperately he wanted to get to know her. He wouldn't want to hurt Billy for the world, and that was the only thing that stopped him stalking her.

He couldn't bear to be the cause of any sort of pain Billy might endure should Dom make a move. And, Dom reasoned with himself, it wasn't like Halley wanted Dom, anyway.

So he may as well forget about it.

*

How he ended up in front of Halley's apartment, he couldn't be sure. He knew he got her address from Elijah, who'd gotten it from Hannah, but he hadn't expected himself to end up there. And not with Elijah beside him, encouraging him to do the right thing. Dom laughed ironically at the fact that Elijah was now the angel that sat on his shoulder. He didn't know who the devil was, yet, but he'd figure it out. Or perhaps he, himself, was the devil on his shoulder. He imagined himself in cartoon form, with Elijah on one shoulder, and a mini-Dom on the other.

"You're not going to do this, are you?" Elijah asked, biting on a nail nervously before he stubbed out his cigarette and sighed.

"I have to do this, Lij."

"No, you don't. This'll kill Billy."

"What if they're close to breaking up, anyway? What if we're meant to be together? What if she's the one? What if Billy will be relieved that I've stepped up to the plate and proclaimed my love for her?"

"That's a lot of 'what if's,' Dom, and you can't base your life on those. It'll only drive you mad."

"I know." Dom heaved a sigh. "But if I don't do this, I'll just regret it."

Elijah seemed to reserve himself to the fact that no matter what he said, Dom wouldn't change his mind. "What will you say to her?"

"I think I'll say that my heart is breaking."

"You've only known her a week."

Dom turned to his friend, a wane smile on his dry lips. "It seems like a lot longer than that."

Elijah blinked, surprised. "You should talk to Billy about this, before you say anything to Halley. It's the right thing to do, Dom, and you know it. You've gotta be the friend first before you can be the suitor."

"Who says suitor anymore?" Dom responded, his voice light.

Elijah smirked. "I'm glad to see that even though you're on the rack of love, you can still be a cheeky arse."

and if i say my heart is breaking now over you
what would you do
and if you saw the pieces falling down
right in front of you what would you do
i don't know why i'm doing what i'm doing
i'm alright it's okay
i'm alright now, i don't want you anyway

Taking a deep breath, Dom raised his fist to knock on the door. Something stopped him, he wasn't sure what. An unknown force, like in the movies.

His heart beat wildly against his chest, his palms sweat profusely, his stomach constricted. He turned around.

He couldn't do this. He didn't care how broken his heart was, and how much he loved her. He couldn't do this to Billy.

Dom took a few steps towards the stairs, seeing Elijah sitting at the bottom, looking harrassed.

"Lij," Dom whispered, stepping down a few steps towards him.

Elijah turned around, looking surprised. "What?"

"You were right."

Instead of saying "I told you so" or something equally rude, Elijah stood up and waited for Dom to descend the rest of the stairs. Once he had, Elijah put his arm around Dom's shoulders and pulled him in for a hug.

"I'm sorry," he whispered sincerely.

Dom pulled away. "I'm alright. It's okay."

Elijah tried hard not to sigh. "Let's go."

Dom nodded slowly and allowed himself to be pulled from the building.

And he didn't look back.