“I really like the feel of lip gloss on lips,” stated Ryan Gosling, flopping into his chair.
“You mean on girls?” Tobey Maguire asked him, taking a swig of his diet coke.
“No,” replied Ryan airily, “I mean on me. When the makeup people put it on me. It’s quite nice.”
Elijah Wood raised an eyebrow, “You alright, Ryan?”
“Course,” Ryan responded in an obvious tone.
"I don’t like makeup,” stated Hayden Christensen out of the blue.
The other three guys turned towards him.
“Why?” Elijah asked.
“Well, do you like it?” Hayden retorted.
“No. Not much, I guess,” said Elijah. “But I’ve resigned myself to the fact that it’s needed. That happens when you wear prosthetic ears and feet all the time.”
“Will you shut up about Lord of the Rings!” Tobey admonished. “You bring that into conversation every bleeding second you possibly can.”
“Why the purgatory did you say ‘bleeding’, Tobes?” Ryan asked his friend.
Tobey shrugged, “I dunno.”
Ryan turned to Hayden, “It must be a vegetarian word.”
“No, it’s British,” said Hayden, rolling his eyes.
“Why do you ALWAYS blame everything I do on me being a vegetarian?” Tobey asked Ryan heatedly.
Ryan shrugged, “Because I can.”
“Ah. Good answer,” Elijah commented, sipping at his water bottle.
“Drink it like a man, Lij!” Ryan hollered. So Elijah did, tipping back the bottle he gulped down several inches of the water, although some of it ran down his chin and onto his crisp white shirt. Actually, most of it did. He sputtered and gulped, trying to make sure he didn’t choke.
“You need a bib,” mused Hayden, holding back laughter.
Elijah gave him a look that shut him right up as he grabbed a paper napkin from Tobey’s coffee table.
Ryan picked up his own bottle of water, gulped it down (without spilling) and then capped it again. “Back to lip gloss---you know what else is good?”
“Thongs,” supplied Hayden out of the blue.
“No,” replied Ryan, “Lip balm.”
“Same stuff,” commented Tobey.
“Not really,” said Elijah. “But I agree with Hayden. Thongs are good.”
“On girls. Not on guys,” said Ryan. All the guys cringed, obviously having gotten a mental image of a guy in a thong. “Remember when we were all the MTV Movie Awards and Orlando [Bloom] showed us his thong backstage? Oh God.” Ryan covered his mouth. “That was so horrible.”
Elijah shivered, “Really, really horrible.
Tobey shook his head, “Then when we went to the hotel afterwards, Shane [West] came and he went to the pool in just his lemon colored speedo.”
“Dear Lord, that was awful,” stated Ryan. “He jumped into the water and yelled, ‘Come on in, the water’s fine!’ Right before he realized his speedo had been torn off. How very, very scarring.”
Tobey chuckled, “The girls seemed to like it. But not me.”
“Yeah, it was the worst,” said Hayden. “I couldn’t sleep for days. I had to go back to shooting the day afterwards and I kept falling over in laughter whenever someone mentioned water on the set. Natalie thought I was dehydrated.”
Elijah laughed, “I was at the set too, but I didn’t laugh at the mention of water, I cringed. They thought I‘d been dropped on my head as an infant or something.”
“Oh, Elijah, but you have,” joked Hayden.
"Hey,” said Ryan suddenly, “Can I play with your light saber?”
Hayden threw him a cautious look.
“Your actual light saber,” explained Ryan, “Not the metaphorical one.”
“Oh,” said Hayden happily. “Sure. I‘ve got two in the car. I‘ll use mine and you can use Dukoo‘s.”
“The dude from Lord of the Rings?” Ryan asked.
“No Count Dukoo,” said Hayden, sighing.
"Wasn’t he in Lord of the Rings?” Ryan asked Elijah.
Elijah nodded, smiling happily. “Yes, he was Saruman.”
Ryan jabbed a finger at Elijah, “See?” Hayden shook his head and stood up. Ryan followed him from the room and then out to Hayden’s car.
"The metaphorical light saber,” laughed Tobey. “That is wonderful.”
“Damn straight,” replied Elijah.
“Hot damn!” Shouted Tobey.
And then they burst into jubilant laughter.