|Thirteen| I could have met you in a sandbox…I could have passed you on a sidewalk…

Elijah dropped his jacket onto a chair and flopped onto his couch. He flicked on the television and flipped through the channels, but could find nothing. Infomercial after infomercial of white-stained teeth selling a cornucopia amount of awful gadgets that’ll break two days after they’re received. And all for the low, low price of 14.95. Plus shipping and handling, of course.

His eyes scanned his many DVDs but nothing appealed to him. None of them would divert his attention. Not for an entire evening; or even for a few hours.

He pulled another cigarette from his pack, “Shit. I’m becoming a freaking chain smoker.” He lit it anyway and took a drag before shutting off the television set and snapping on the stereo with another remote control.

Technology had always been good to Elijah, who had the finances to keep up with the latest inventions which “make life easier,” but that didn’t mean Elijah didn’t despised the laziness of his four remotes; because he did, in profusion.

The DJ on the radio seemed to rub Elijah the wrong way, because his fingers shot out and changed the station immediately after that piercing voice sounded through his speakers.

A soft song came on, a quiet melody with a poignant vocalist.

“Turn out the light

Just say goodnight to yourself

May I remind you

When you find you

You’re all alone is when you

You’ve got to be strong

That’s when they call you in the night

He’s got your picture in his mind

He’s got your number on a paper at his disposal anytime…”

Elijah sat up on the couch, his ears perked and listening to this song he’d never heard before. It made his heart beat slower and his breath catch in his throat. This song was speaking to him; really speaking to him. He’d had this happen before, but not for a long time.

“…Is it really true

Could you save yourself for someone

Who could love you for you

So many times we just give it away

To someone who, to someone who

You met in bar, the back of a car

And for a moment you felt important

But not in your heart

My self esteem, it's been low

Go ahead and count

It's been lower than low”

Emma’s picture flashed into his mind and he felt his throat contract. He missed her; and he was worried.

“I know the feeling of it stealing life out from under me

I want to learn

How you save yourself for someone

Who could love you for you

So many times we just give it away

To someone who couldn't even remember your name

Could you save yourself for

Someone who loves you for you

And loves me for me

Give it away to someone who

Someone who will cherish your name”

Elijah sat back on the couch now, relaxed. His features were set in concentration and he couldn’t stop listening to this song.

It was perfect; it seemed to perfectly describe his relationship with Emma, or maybe just Emma herself. But either way, this song reminded him of her; and it reminded him of himself.

“Cause I want to learn

How you save yourself

For someone who will love you for you

So many times we just give it away

To someone who couldn’t even remember your name

Could you save yourself for

Someone who loves you for you

And loves me for me

Give it away to someone who, to someone who

Will cherish your name”

A lone tear rolled down Elijah’s pale cheek when the song ended. He wanted to hit replay, but it was the radio and therefore that wouldn’t be possible. Technology failed him in this situation, it seemed.

A deep voice clicked onto the speakers, “That was Sense Field with ‘Save Yourself’ and you’re listening to…” Elijah switched off the radio and rushed to his computer.

He logged onto the internet with more vigor than he’d had in many days. Once he was logged on, he bypassed his mail completely and began the search for this evocative song.

It was a little past midnight when he’d finally gotten the song downloaded; it had been quite hard to find. Elijah pulled a CD off a stand and popped it into the drive. Then, he copied the song onto the disc.

Elijah stood up stretching and then shoved his hands in his pockets out of habit. His fingertips brushed something with a hard edge and seconds later, his hand emerged holding onto the letter that Dr. Johansen had given him earlier. He ripped it open eagerly.

On a piece of plain white paper were a few well-chosen words.

“Me? She couldn’t face ME?! Why!?” Elijah threw his hands in the air in aggravation and let the letter drop to the floor.

Elijah stalked over to his telephone and hit a few numbers so hard that his finger hurt.

“Hello?” Came a groggy voice on the other end.

“What the fuck!? Do you get off on being ominous? Because this isn’t funny, man. I don’t understand that freaking note one iota…and I don’t appreciate being made a fool. I can make a fool of myself fine without any help.”

“Elijah?” Dr. Johansen asked sleepily.

“Yeah,” he retorted angrily. “What?”

“What did the note say, Elijah?” She asked gently. He heard the rustling of sheets as she presumably sat up in bed and then a light click as the bedside lamp gave her light.

“It said: ‘I couldn’t face him’. But why the hell couldn’t she face me?”

Dr. Johansen yawned a little, “I don’t think she’s talking about you.”

“Well, then who’s she talking about?”

“Her step-father is my guess.”

Elijah sank onto his couch, his portable phone cradled between his ear and shoulder.

“She didn’t have to face him, though. He’s locked up.” Elijah shook his head and then closed his eyes as a splitting headache made itself known across the span of his forehead. A drum beat decided to begin, and it steadily got louder and worse in his head.

“Yes, but she did have to face him. At the hearing. She had to testify.”

“When is that?” Elijah asked absently, hardly hearing what he was being told.

“Next week,” replied the doctor, her voice becoming more awake with every word. “Have you been drinking?”

“No,” answered Elijah truthfully to his fingernails, which were all bitten down the cuticle, “I haven’t. I’ve been listening to the radio.”

“All night? It’s nearly three in the morning.” The doctor yawned again.

Elijah looked at his clock and said, “Is it?”

“Yes, now can I go back to bed?” She asked, not sounding as professional as usual.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Ah…Dr. Johansen?”

“Yes, Elijah. What is it?” It was obvious her patience was wearing thin.

“Is she going to be able to make it, do you think? Because if she doesn’t, he might not stay in jail, right?”

“She’s in critical condition. You’ll have speak to her physician. Go to the hospital tomorrow. I’ll call in the morning and tell them you’re coming.”

“Thank you,” he replied, sounding a bit relieved.

“I know you’re worried, but it’ll be okay,” another yawn and then, “If you need to talk, I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

Elijah chuckled feebly, “Yeah. Thanks. Bye.” He clicked the off button and then fell over, his head hitting a small pillow.

In mere seconds, he was fast asleep.