The Hotness Of It All

It was one of those days; the sun was shining brightly in the sky, making the people swelteringly hot below, birds were chirping and causing people headaches as they flew too close and street venders were yelling obscenities at people who did not shell out five dollars for an overly done hotdog on a soggy bun. It was like New York, only it was London.

Three actors, hobbits to be precise, were congregated on a street corner, discussing their plans and trying to decide if they wanted to go to the London Eye or a less touristy bit on their day off.

Two girls, both avid shoppers, were carrying around matching bags from some store that specialized in Union Jack hats and whispering to one another as the drew closer to the three actors. They were fans, of course, and couldn�t quite decide how to approach the hotness that was stationed mere feet away from them. Said hotness was unaware that they were amongst fans, and continued on with their discussion.

The shortest one turned toward the girls first; he had been about to see how long the line was at the Starbucks, but his eyes skirted onto the girls instead. There was something about them, possibly because they were laughing hysterically as they walked, or perhaps because, though one girl wore a �Hobbit Fancier� t-shirt and the other sported a �Frodo Lives�, they didn�t seem to be rabid fans who were going to tear his clothes off. He smiled at them, creating a domino effect as one passed out and fell into the other, who promptly fainted.

�Um, guys.� Elijah tugged on the shirt sleeve of Dom, who was in a heated discussion with Billy about the best record store to attack. �GUYS!�

Billy and Dom stopped talking and turned to their shorter friend. They both looked aggrieved as they questioned, �What?� simultaneously.

�I smiled at those two girls and they passed out.� He pointed to the heap of arms, legs and shopping bags; Dom and Billy immediately went to the girls� sides and began tapping their cheeks in hopes of a response.

�Dude, what�d I tell you?� Dom shook his head angrily. �Don�t smile at girls you don�t know!�

�I�m sorry, I---�

Billy cut in. �I hate to say this, but maybe your smile should come with a warning.�

�What would it say?� Dom asked, attempting to wake the girls up by shaking them. �Caution: May Cause Fainting?� He leaned closer to one of the girls. �Hellooooooooooooo, are you okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay?�

She blinked and opened her eyes, and Dom helped her to sit up properly. She happened to be the girl with the pink �Frodo Lives� shirt which Dom promptly spotted and lifted his eyes at Billy. �Are you alright?�

�Um.� She blinked again, taking in her surroundings and the three boys clustered around she and her friend. �Yes. I think so.�

�Too much sun, I�ll bet,� Billy commented, snapping his fingers in front of the other girl�s face; she, like her friend, blinked several times and then slowly sat up next to Billy on the pavement. �Dehydrated?�

The other girl nodded slowly, looking perplexed and nervous. �I�ll get them some coffee!� Elijah squeaked, jumping up to head towards Starbucks.

�WATER.� Dom called after him. �Not coffee.�

Billy sadly shook his head. �Well, let�s get them up.� He nodded to Dom and they each grabbed a girl and lifted her to a standing position; both girls were slightly tipsy, so Dom held tight to one elbow and Billy held to the other while they waited for Elijah to return. It could be anywhere from a minute to an hour, what with the line and Elijah being so scatterbrained.

�Are you fans?� Billy asked after a moment, glancing down at their shirts. �Sorry about Elijah. He doesn�t think before he smiles.�

�I keep trying to tell him how dangerous it is.� Dom smiled at them; the �Frodo Lives� girl collapsed against him. �Ah, Bill?�

Billy, who had been looking across the street at a clearance sale, directed his attention to the passed out girl in Dom�s arms. �Hmmm. That�s very odd.� He looked to the girl he was helping to support. �Is your friend much of a conversationalist?� He grinned and was sorry when he did, for the second girl fell against him, and he nearly fell over trying to keep his kilt from flying all over the place.

�God, what�d you do to them?� Elijah questioned, coming back into their little group; he was sucking on the straw of some sort of coffee concoction while two water bottles were tucked under his arm. �They were awake when I left.�

Billy and Dom both shrugged; they were both very confused. �Maybe we should get them to the hospital,� Billy suggested, taking a water bottle from Elijah and unscrewing it.

�Yeah,� Dom nodded his head vigorously. �It might not have been Elijah at all. They might be really ill!�

�Okay, Lij. You take this one and I�ll hail a cab.�

�I can�t carry a girl!�

�Sure you can. Take hold.� Billy lifted the girl up into his arms with no struggle at all. �Here.� He attempted to pass her over, but Elijah was recoiling against the brick of the building behind them and shaking his head in horror.

�I�m too teeny!� Elijah squeaked out. �I�ll drop her!� He jumped up suddenly. �Dominic, lift with your knees! BEND!� Dom scowled. �I�ll hail the taxi!� He proceeded to do so while Dom scooped up the girl into his arms; Billy and Dom, holding two passed out girls, must have looked a sight to passerby but they didn�t have any time to write out signs explaining what happened.

Elijah came back to them, waving his hands around frantically. �This cab, here.� He pointed to a cab with its doors flung open. Dom and Billy raced towards it; Elijah ran beside them, yelling out instructions. �Billy, make sure you support their heads... Dom, carry her properly.�

The five of them piled into the cab; Elijah sat in the front sipping happily from his coffee. Billy and Dom sat in the back, with the girls strewn across their laps. They didn�t mind having girls in their laps, of course, but they were getting rather ticked off with Elijah for causing all the trouble in the first place, and then not helping.

In no time, they were falling out of the taxi and onto the pavement in front of the hospital; Elijah paid the driver, due to the fact that neither Billy nor Dom could get their wallets on account of the fact that they were carrying girls around town.

"There's a door coming up, make sure you don't slam them into it and cause them further pain,� Elijah stated as they made their way towards the front door.

"Why don't you open the door?"

"Oh, I couldn't do that, Dominic, I'm much too small!"

"For God's sake, Elijah!"

�Someone else will do it, now Dom, support them while you're opening the door, no not like that! Be careful!"

Billy, aggravated, yelled out, "Oh, just kick it in! Give it a swift kick, Dom!�

Elijah nodded in agreement, sipping his drink and also finding time to yell out, "Be a man, Dom!"

Dom kicked the door, and nothing happened. "More force!" Elijah hollered, jumping up and down; obviously the coffee had sent him into hyper drive.

Dom pulled back from the door, and ran towards it; he kicked it as hard as he could and then fell back, wincing. "Ow! I think I broke my bloody toe!"

"Oh, suck it up!"

Dom threw Elijah a very angry look. �YOU suck it up!� Dom began to hop about, still cradling the girl in his arms, mumbling about his broken toe and swearing up a storm.

Elijah rolled his eyes. �Okay, Billy, your turn. Don�t be a BABY like Dom.� At this point, Dom began to sweat quite profusely and his swearing became more abundant.

"No, way, I'm not breaking MY bloody toe!" Billy cast a nervous glance at Dom. "He's sweating, Elijah!� Billy carefully walked closer to peer into Dom�s eyes. �Did you get a splinter, Dom?"

"Shut up!"

"No need to use such harsh words!"

"OPEN THE DOOR!" Elijah hollered suddenly.

"You open the damn door!" Dom hissed back.

"I told you, I'm much too small!"

Billy would have thrown his hands into the air, if not for the girl in his arms, so he walked towards the door, puffing and huffing and sighing and mumbling. "Oh, for God's sake!" A little hip wiggle, and a shimmy, and he was jutting himself into the door.

Elijah offered some helpful tips when the door didn�t budge. "Bill, when you hip shimmy, you might wanna give it a bit more oomf, you know?" Billy simply growled in response. "You should work on your growl, too"

"Shut up, Elijah." Billy sighed heavily and heaved himself the girl into the door with so much force that it burst open and Billy fell through to the other side; he stumbled with the girl into the reception desk. "I need a bloody pint," he mumbled, righting himself.

Elijah strutted in behind him. "Well, how about we drop these girls off here? Dom can stay to deal with his toe, and look after the girls.�

"Good idea,� Billy grunted, letting the girl tumble from his arms and onto a sofa in the corner. Dom plopped down beside her, the other girl still in his arms and watched as Billy limped to the exit, Elijah on his heals.

Dom sighed, closed his eyes, and leaned his head back. �Those bastards.�

About two hours later, Dom awoke, blinking as he looked around the white washed room. There were three beds in the room, one of which he was sprawled across; next to him was the girl he�d �rescued� and her friend in the next bed. He noticed a jabbing pain in his big toe and groaned as he turned over to look out the window; he had no idea of the time, but hoped it wasn�t too late so he could escape from here and grab a pint at the nearest pub.

�Oh, you�re awake,� the �Frodo Lives� girl said.

�Thanks for saving us,� the other one said, blushing slightly as she adjusted her �Hobbit Fancier� t-shirt. Billy entered the room then, smiling happily at the three awake faces; Elijah pranced in behind him, baring gifts of water and magazines. (And a coffee for himself.)

�Glad to see you�re awake,� Billy smiled; Elijah nodded, standing behind him.

The �Frodo Lives� girl propped herself up on her elbows. �The doctor said if you hadn�t brought us in as quickly as you did, we�d have died.�

The other one took over, �Apparently we were dehydrated, just like the Scottish one said.� This was a complete crock, even though the lack of water they�d had on the hot day hadn�t helped them any; they were fans of the boys, and as such, had collapsed upon sight, due to the�hotness of it all.

�It�s my pleasure, loves,� Dom bowed his head slightly, flashing them a grin that would have made them passed out again, had they not been so filled to the brim with fluids. The girls exchanged immensely happy looks. �So, do you live around here?�

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