“Why haven’t you met Dom’s parents yet?” Billy questioned leaning back in his seat; he was seated with Dom and Liberty on the plane as they made their way back home, to England. Billy would be finishing up filming for his new movie there and Dom and Liberty would be going back to pre-marital bliss that included Dom filming a new movie and Liberty starting work with Raya. The Blooms were seated in first class this trip, due to them needing more room for the baby.

Liberty glanced at Dom, who was peacefully asleep, and shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“I’ve met Elizabeth’s.”

“That’s because they’re also Raya’s, and they were at the wedding. You can’t tell me you’re actually at the stage to meet her parents yet, can you?”

“No, I don’t suppose we are. Though we’re intending to go out more when we’re both in England. Of course, she’s looking for work there now.”

“Is it serious?” Liberty asked, feeling very happy for Billy.

“Seriouser than I’ve ever had,” he laughed.

“Seriouser isn’t a word,” Elijah said from in front of them.

Billy hit the back of his seat and Elijah yelped, “Thanks, Wood, that’ll be all.”

“Don’t call him that. It makes him sound like lumber,” Sean said, turning about in his seat.

“How’s Christine doing?” Liberty whispered, pointing in front of her.

Sean smiled, “She’s okay. She’s sleeping.”

Liberty hadn’t seen much of Christine lately, due to her resting in bed to keep de-stressed. She’d taken a lot of time off from work, transferring all her clients to other agents until maternity leave was up; she was due in just a couple months, and it was obvious the Astin’s were extremely excited. Alexandra had stayed home in LA for the two weeks so school wouldn’t be disrupted. She was staying with Sean’s brother, and Dom’s one-time flat mate. Initially, Christine was going to stay home with Alexandra instead of traveling to New Zealand, but one thing led to another and she’d decided it’d be better if she went along. They were on the plane headed to England only because there was a connecting flight they were catching home to LA; Elijah would accompany, but only because he wanted to do any heavy lifting that was required. Everyone was sure there would be no heavy lifting, but it had gotten to a point where you don’t bother saying such things to Elijah anymore, unless you were Billy.

“I still can’t believe that Raya‘s pregnant AGAIN,” Billy stated to no one in particular.

“I bet she‘s only a day along,” Dom assured them; his eyes were still closed by he was apparently awake.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Liberty said. “They wouldn’t announce it like that unless they were further along.”

“Are you kidding?” Dom asked, his eyes flying open. “All this time they’ve been cooped up in a small cottage by themselves? When we took Priya to the movies yesterday, they were alone for three hours.”

“They had Will,” Liberty pointed out.

Billy considered this, “Yes, but he was probably sleeping. I wonder if they’ll have more.”

Sean rolled his eyes and turned back around, “If Raya wants ten kids, they’ll have ten kids.”

“Sean is definitely right,” Billy nodded stoutly. “Listen to the fat hobbit.”

“Hey, don’t call me the fat hobbit. I’ve lost all the Sam weight. They made me wear a fat suit, remember? Those things are toasty, eh, Dom?”

“Toasty, indeed.” He turned and began talking quietly to Liberty, who had to lean over to hear him properly. “So why haven’t we met each other’s parents?”

“I don’t know. I mean, yours DO live where we do. Mine, however…”

“We should take a visit to see them. Announce the wedding and all that.”

“I called my mom and my brother. They know and they’re already booking flights for May.”

“Are they?” He looked pleased at this information; she nodded. “Brilliant. I’m looking forward to meeting them.”

Liberty swallowed, “I’d say the same about yours, except…well…I’ve had bad experiences in the past.”

Dom looked amused, “With parents?”

“Yes, well…remember Tyler?” Judging by the awful face Dom made, he certainly did. “When I met his parents, it was quite bad. His mom absolutely hated me, she called me white trash, I think. And his dad hit on me. Very gross.”

“That’s horrible,” Dom replied, slinging an arm around her.

“And my boyfriend before that…John. He was my first boyfriend. I was about sixteen. Anyway, his dad was really weird and insisted on going on dates with us. He wanted to drive John around, apparently…and John’s mom was 5 years older than John was. She was his step-mom really, but when she got me alone she confessed she’d fantasized about having sex with him.”

Dom made a grossed-out face, “Bloody hell.”

“Exactly,” Liberty shivered. “I still have the creeps. Actually, last I heard, John and his step-mom had gotten married.”

“That’s twisted.”

“Disgusting, really.”

“My dad won’t drive us around, and my mum will love you. Honestly.” He gave her a little squeeze. “You might want to wear something showing less cleavage than you’re used to.”

Liberty frowned, “Dom, I hardly ever show cleavage. The most I’ve ever shown was very tasteful. Except, well, the corsets. But I won’t wear a corset when meeting your mother.”

“I hope not. Let’s save that for the bedroom, shall we?” He paused, thoughtful. “Mum’s a bit…old fashioned. A tad conservative. But honestly, she’ll love you.”

Liberty looked very doubtful. “Does she like Billy?”

“Everyone loves me,” Billy chirped up; he’d obviously heard their entire conversation.

Dom nodded, “He also doesn’t show any cleavage.”

*

As October rolled around, the plan for Liberty to meet Dom’s parents was put into action and though Dom was immensely excited at sharing her with his family, Liberty was petrified. Billy and Elijah, upon being notified, had a most interesting conversation about it.

"Will we play a rousing game of water volleyball that ends with Dominic breaking Liberty's nose?" Billy asked excitedly, whilst Dom and Liberty laughed; the four of them were on a conference call.

"Billy, has anyone ever had the conversation about what's real and what's not real in movies?" Elijah asked.

“Elijah, if you could see the look I’m giving you right now, you’d run off with your tail between your legs and hide.”

Elijah snorted and was probably about to say something, but Liberty cut him off, “I should go rent ‘Meet The Parents’ now and get some pointers.”

All four boys yelled, “NO!” at the exact same time.

Needless to say, her anxiety grew as time went on. She kept busy with sketching, designing and planning layouts for the first fashion spread in British Vogue, but she couldn’t help but continue to be worried. On William’s fifth month alive, to the day, Liberty sought out Raya’s council at Hyde Park; she brought Dom along, and Billy, and Raya brought the kids and Orlando to keep the boys company.

“On Thanksgiving?” Raya echoed, spreading out the blanket and plopping onto it; she had a bag of potato chips in her lap. The boys were chasing Priya around while she squealed and Orlando was carrying William, trying to coax him to walk on his own. “But that’s an American holiday.”

“Yes,” Liberty nodded, stealing some of Raya’s chips after buttoning up her jean jacket; she was almost always cold these days, and she suspected it was the difference of Los Angeles weather to England’s. “Dom said he’d like to see what all the fuss is about so I’m cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and we’ve invited his parents.”

“Well, that sounds lovely and domestic.” She took a drink of her water and looked imploringly at Liberty. “You look bloody tense. What’s the problem, then?”

Liberty explained to her the trials and tribulations that she associated with meeting the parents and how she had rented ‘Meet the Parents’ while Dom was out shopping with Billy and was very worried that his parents would accuse her of smoking pot or something ridiculous like that. Raya nodded every so often in understanding and spoke finally when Liberty had finished her tirade. “So you just need a really amazing outfit.”

“Em, yes, I guess…but the outfit is only about 20% of the whole package. I have one month to figure out how to cook a turkey.”

“The outfit is 75%, Liberty,” Raya replied, grinning. “And you can read the turkey recipe on the turkey, can you not?”

“Raya, have you ever cooked?”

“Of course I have,” she laughed quietly for a moment and then looked serious. “Never an entire bird, mind you. Orlando the chef probably has, you could ask him for advice. Or Christine, call Christine.”

“She’s just had the baby,” Liberty replied. “Sean says she’s really tired and she can barely do anything. He’s had to stay home with her. Not that he minds, you know how he loves to take care of her.”

Raya nodded, “How is the baby, anyway? I haven’t had a moment to call except right after the birth.”

“Steven is, apparently, a very fussy baby. Alexandra I guess was better, but babies are all different.”

“Yes, I’ve gathered that. Priya was an absolutely wonderful baby, and Will is too…but he’s a bit fussier than she ever was.”

Liberty sighed and leaned back, watching as Dom tickled Priya until she was squealing for help and her father ‘came to her rescue’ after passing his son off to Uncle Billy. “I’ll have to make stuffing, mashed potato…god, a pumpkin pie. I made one before but I burnt the crust really badly.”

“Dominic can cook,” Raya laughed. “Just employ him.”

“Yes, except his mother is really old-fashioned and she’ll expect the woman to cook for the man.”

Rolling her eyes, Raya closed the chip bag up and stood, motioning for Liberty to get up as well. “Dominic will do most of the cooking and then allow you to take the credit. He’d do anything for you, which is probably his downfall…or at least yours, where his mother is concerned. Let’s go join the fun now.”

They wandered over to the males, and Priya, and were soon joined by someone who made Raya inhale sharply, Billy squeal with delight and Liberty grasp Dom’s hand in horror. She was never very good at meeting celebrities, at least ones she was a fan of before she met them. Dom liked to tell the story of when she met John Mayer backstage at one of his concerts in London and had nearly offered to have his children.

“Orlando! Hullo!” His British accent was well-defined and crisp as he clasped Orlando’s hand in a many hello.

Liberty leaned over to Dom and whispered in his ear excitedly, “That’s Jude Law!”

“I know, love,” Dom laughed.

Orlando proceeded to introduce everyone. When he got to his wife, he possessively put his arm around her waist; she didn’t notice, however. She was too busy gawking in a most un-Raya like way.

“Mr. Law, I would just like you to know that I love your work,” Billy cut in, stepping forward and engulfing a surprised Jude into a bear hug. Billy had used a very pompous sounding British accent and had cut off Raya’s greeting which she did not appreciate.

“Well, thank you,” Jude smiled. “I must be off, but I wanted to come over here and tell you how lovely your children are.”

“Where are yours?” Raya questioned politely.

“Oh, over there, somewhere,” he motioned vaguely behind him and laughed. “It was good seeing you, Orlando. And nice to meet…” he glanced at a beaming Billy and quickly looked at Raya, “…all of you.”

With a last smile he was gone, leaving a very happy group in his wake.

Billy spoke first, though his voice was more like a squeak, “That was Jude Law!”

"Yes, Billy, indeed it was." Raya answered. "And we'll have to have a chat later."

Obviously confused, Billy asked, "About what?"

Raya looked slightly baffled for about four seconds, "Em, oh hell, what did he smell like Billy?"

“And why would you want to know that?” Orlando asked, giving her ‘a look’.

“I wouldn't interfere, as she is carrying your third child. She might name it Jude if you're not careful.” Billy began whistling and then walked away; Orlando and Raya stared at each other.

After much squealing and other forms of excitement, they all decided to head back to Dom and Liberty’s where they’d discuss the upcoming wedding in more depth; Raya had a final sketch of the dress she wanted to show everyone, as well.

Orlando, feeling very ignored, finally decided to break into the yelling about Jude with a, “Yes, he’s a wonderful bloke…but can he swordfight and shoot arrows?”

Raya, on one couch with the two kids, rolled her eyes and handed Priya a cracker all the while keeping William’s bottle steadily in his mouth.

“No,” Billy replied. “And you can’t either.”

“Excuse me?” Orlando questioned, looking haughty from the windowsill where he was sitting with a diet coke and a puzzle Priya had been attempting before she’d gotten hungry.

Billy looked away from Orlando, “*Cough* CG *cough*”

Orlando stood up, looking aggravated, “I can most certainly swordfight. Did you even SEE Pirates of the Caribbean?”

“Yes, and---” Billy was cut off when Priya stood up in the middle of the floor.

“Captain Jack Sparrow was lovely,” Priya said, nibbling on her cracker.

Liberty burst into laughter which sent her collapsed onto Dom, who tried to hold back his laughter the best he could, seeing as he seemed to already be on Orlando’s bad side.

“It’s sad, OB,” Billy stated evenly, sipping his drink. “Even your daughter likes Johnny Depp more than she likes you.”

Orlando gave him a not-so-nice finger gesture that he hid behind his hand so Priya couldn’t see. “I’m going to take Will home for a nap. Raya, will you be escorting me?”

“I haven’t showed Liberty the final dress sketch,” Raya replied, handing her son off to his father. “Priya and I will stay a bit longer. Billy, will you take us home later?”

Billy nodded, “Of course.”

Orlando pranced off holding William and trying to leave with as much dignity as he could muster. Later that evening, when Raya returned home, she would say to a still heated Orlando that even though Johnny Depp was wonderful in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’, Orlando was the pirate she wanted. And as this mended fences between he and his wife, he thought about how even Billy liked him better; though he would never, in a million years, admit it.

*

The morning of November 26 found Dom waking up rather late (having been up until dawn last night getting the apartment cleaned with Liberty which then resulted in a lot of foul play) and shuffling into the kitchen for some coffee around eleven AM only to find Liberty already up, dressed, showered and wearing a new apron bustling about the oven.

“Well, this is lovely,” Dom laughed, putting his hands on her waist and kissing her neck. “You look like a mother from the 70s.”

“I hope you’re not dissing the hair,” Liberty replied, pulling away from him to crack a few eggs into a large baking bowl.

“No, I was talking about the dress and the apron, actually. It’s all very…frilly.”

“Yes, well,” she didn’t say anything after that because she began measuring salt almost fretfully.

“What are you making?” He asked, jumping up onto one of the bar stools beside her and pouring himself a cup of coffee, which she had obviously made as it was blacker than death; Elijah and Liberty had at least one thing in common, the love of coffee with so much caffeine that you didn’t come down from the high for at least a week.

“Pumpkin pie,” she replied, biting her bottom lip as she poured the salt into the bowl. “I’m not very good at it, though. I haven’t got the attention span to be a really good baker, you know? Because you have to measure so much and…ARG. It’s annoying. I would rather be a chef, they can just throw ingredients randomly in the dishes and call it a day.”

“I can take care of it, if you want,” he covered up a yawn. “Why are you at it so early, though?”

“I just put the turkey in,” she explained. “Did you know they need, like, ten or something hours to bake?”

Dom smiled at her over his coffee cup, “Yes.”

“I wanted to make rolls, too,” she said, indicating another bowl that had a bag of flour beside it as well as other ingredients.

“You should do one thing at a time. Tell you what,” he hopped down, “I’ll go take a shower and get dressed and you abandon the pumpkin pie because I like making pies…and I’m good at it…so I’ll handle that and you work on the rolls.”

She took a deep breath, “Okay. I’m about to have a nervous breakdown.”

“Why?”

“We should go to the store because I think we’re going to run out of everything.”

“Liberty, you bought everything yesterday.”

“I know, but---”

“Everything is going to be FINE. Calm down. Take a bath or something.”

Liberty laughed, “I can’t. You’re getting in the shower.”

A mischievous grin spread itself across Dom‘s lips and he walked towards her, slipping his arms around her waist and untying her apron in one quick motion. He kissed her neck and then her lips, “Well, get in there with me and I’ll calm you down, then.”

“That sounds intriguing, but who’ll do the rolls?”

He laughed into her hair as he kissed all her exposed skin, “You can, later. We can do all this…later.” He kissed her again. “They won’t be here for HOURS.”

Liberty sighed and said sadly, “You know I can’t resist you.”

“I know,“ Dom laughed and began tugging her towards the bathroom. “That’s what I love about you.”

*

“I’m really glad you came,” Liberty said in a hushed, frantic voice as she ushered Raya and Orlando inside. It was nearing five o‘clock now, though the dinner was set for sixish. “Dom’s parents aren’t here yet, but they will be soon.” She took a deep breath, “I may throw up at any moment.”

“Well, do it in the loo. We don’t want to loose the food,” Orlando remarked cheerfully, taking Will’s snowsuit off. He handed Will off to Liberty and clapped his hands together, “I can’t wait to have this authentic American holiday dinner!”

Liberty smiled at him, “It’s not burnt, I’ll say that for it. Dom’s working on the potatoes right now. I‘ve just started the salad” She crossed her fingers with the hand she wasn‘t using to hold Will, “I just hope he can do potatoes as well as he can do other things.”

“I wish you wouldn’t speak about sex today,” Billy muttered, coming into the hall to say hello to everyone. He was dressed up, as everyone else was, and seemed, like Orlando, very cheerful.

“I meant other FOODS,” she explained, laughing. She made her way into the kitchen and everyone followed, ooing and aweing at the smells that were vibrant in the vicinity. Dom was wearing an apron that said “Kiss The Cook” which Billy did dramatically.

As Dom was wiping his lips and giving Billy death glares he said, “So. Who wants liquor? We’re gonna need it.”

“Why?” Orlando laughed, hoisting Priya onto one of the bar stools. Everyone looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “What?”

“Liberty’s meeting Dom’s parents for the first time,” Raya stated, taking a squirming Will from Liberty so she could check on the turkey…which, incidentally, did smell good. A pumpkin pie sat on the countertop, looking marvelous, beside a basket of golden brown rolls and a bowl of cranberry sauce which was still in the shape of the can it had come in because Dom refused to serve it otherwise.

“So?” Orlando asked, biting into a roll which had been laying precariously on top of a heaping pile of them in a large ornamental basket. “Everybody loves Liberty.”

Liberty gave him a hug, and said “You’re so sweet,” in a semi-condescending way.

“Well, thanks, but I was being honest. I mean, why wouldn’t they love you?” It was Raya’s turn to hug him this time; he beamed at all the attention, “This is nice,” he said, smiling. “It’s quite different than being ignored and compared to Jude Law. Unjustly so, may I add.”

Dom slid a pie into the oven and turned back to them all, “You know you’re right, and I keep trying to convince her but she won’t listen to me.”

“Maybe she’ll listen to Elijah,” Billy said from his place beside Priya; the two of them were making swans out of crisp linen napkins. Where Billy’s looked like more of a fish and Priya’s a glob of clay, there was not much hope. “You should call him. LOOK! I made a kangaroo!” He held up his ‘creation’ excitedly.

“It looks like a wallaby,” Orlando replied cheekily.

“No. A fish,” Priya said, taking the ‘fish’ from Billy and setting it carefully on the counter next to hers.

Raya was quite, staring at Liberty from across the room; Liberty was checking in pots and pans on the stove beside Dom, who was swigging from a bottle of cooking sherry.

“Dom, I’m sure you’re supposed to use that in the food,” Orlando remarked. “And is there anything I can do? Like put plates in the living room or something easy like that?”

“You’re not supposed to use it in the food,” Dom countered, handing Orlando a plate of vegetables. “Julia Child always said that you can put SOME in the food but you can drink the rest.”

Billy snorted and jumped down from his stool, “Come on, Prie. We’ll go watch Lord of the Rings.”

“YAY!” She clapped, jumped down, and skipped into the living room after her father; Billy skipped around and then followed.

“Liberty?” Raya ventured, cradling Will in her arms as he went to sleep. “What are you wearing?”

“Clothes,” Dom replied obviously. “I think she’s got clothes on…Libs,” he turned towards her, “You put them back on after I ripped them off, right?”

Liberty looked up from her pots and pans and shrugged, “What do you mean? It’s a dress.”

“She looks adorable,” Dom commented lightly, smiling at his fiance. “Like Laura Ingles Wilder from Little House on the Prairie.”

“What, is it too flowery?” Liberty asked self-consciously.

“Slightly,” Raya said, smiling. “Can I put William in your bedroom? And while I’m in there, we can burn that dress and find you a new one that is more your age.”

“Or a bonnet to go with it,” Dom suggested lightly.

Liberty scowled at him, “Not helping.”

Raya ushered her out, leaving Dom to tend to the food. Once they were in the bedroom, Raya made a bed on the floor out of pillows and blankets for William and then set him in it before rustling through Liberty’s bare closet. “Where are all your clothes?”

“In the guest bedroom. Dom’s clothes took up the entirety of this closet. Apparently once we’re married we’re going to buy a, quote, ‘huge ass mother fucking house’ and he is going to build us huge walk-ins. One each. Which will be good, because he has a lot more clothes than me.”

“I should say so,” Raya laughed. “He’s like Mariah Carey for God’s sake.”

“That’s what I said,” Liberty flopped onto the edge of the bed and waited. “I hate this dress. My brother gave it to me three years ago and I never wore it. I love him to death, but he can‘t pick out clothes. At least not for a woman.”

“What are you still doing with it?” Raya asked from within the depths of the small closet.

“I don’t know. It fits.”

Raya rolled her eyes as she pulled a slinky, yet modest, sexy, yet conservative black dress; it had a deep neck, but would not show any cleavage and went down below her knees where it was scalloped to float against her legs. “You should wear this.”

Liberty stood and took the dress from a pleased looking Raya. “I’d forgotten this was in there. I don’t usually get in this closet. I think I wore this to a premiere, though.”

“That doesn’t matter. It’s hot. It’ll look lovely on you. Now, I must go check on Priya to make sure Billy isn’t corrupting her. While I’m at it, I’ll check on Dominic to make sure he hasn’t blown the kitchen up.” Raya patted her reassuringly on the arm and then left Liberty to go into the bathroom to change.

*

“DUDE!” Dom hollered, “You’re not serious.”

“I bloody well am,” Billy retorted. “Star Wars Episode Two was SO better than One.”

“It wasn’t,” Orlando replied.

“It was,” Dom conceded. “But Return of the Jedi was the best overall.”

“Fair enough,” Billy agreed.

“Hayden Christensen was hot in Episode Two,” Liberty said from the doorway of the kitchen where the men had decided to group in order to talk.

Dom raised an eyebrow, “Was he, now.”

“Um, yes,” she bustled past them to check on the turkey. “The turkey is done. The little thingy popped up. Where are your parents?”

Dom shrugged, “I don’t know. Let’s get back to Christensen. Did you say he was hot?”

“Yes, though not the best actor.”

“Well, THAT’S true,” Orlando laughed. “Not that I think he’s hot.”

“He’s very nice, I met him that first time I was in LA at Sean’s. Natalie Portman lives next door to him, you know.”

“We know,” Orlando, Dom and Billy said simultaneously, giving each other suggestive looks.

The doorbell rang then which cut into the Star Wars debate; Liberty and Dom went to answer it while the others conjoined in the living room, some of the praying and some of them (Billy) cracking jokes.

“Oh God,” Liberty breathed, smoothing out her dress as Dom turned the knob. “I’m going to pass out.”

Dom laughed, “Stop it. You’ll be perfectly fine.” As he was just about to open the door, Liberty sighed heavily and fell to the ground in a heap. “Oh shit,” he muttered under his breath. He turned his head towards the living room and yelled, “COMING!” before picking her up and running with her into the other room.

Billy jumped from his spot on the couch so Dom could lay her down there. “Good heavens!” Billy shrieked, covering his mouth. “What’s happened? Has she died?”

“No,” Dom looked crossly at him, “Look. Go let Mum and Dad in but not in here. Give them a tour or something and leave this room for last. I’ll signal you when it’s safe.”

“Okay,” Billy looked very ready for this mission. “What’s the signal?”

“Em,” Dom looked down at Liberty and sighed. “I don’t know. I’ll yell for my parents. Loudly.”

“Can’t you make an interesting bird call? Or perhaps some croaking, like a frog? That’s at least creative. Whereas your suggestion was not.”

Dom, looking relatively angry, shooed him off so Billy took Priya’s hand and lead her to the door, whispering, “You can do some ballet for them if we need to stall, okay?” Priya nodded, also ready to help out.

Meanwhile, Dom was running around the living room like a chicken with his head cut off. “I have to go check on the turkey, but what am I supposed to do about her?”

“Every time I faint, people throw water on me,” Orlando suggested, before running into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Raya patted Dom awkwardly on the back, “She’ll be alright, I’ll get Billy to find some smelling salts and Priya will entertain your parents.”

As it turned out, all they could find for smelling salts was a large and rotting slab of salmon in the very back of the refrigerator. That, paired with an entire glass of water emptied on Liberty’s face by Orlando, awoke her before Dom’s parents had any idea.

Sputtering, Liberty sat up with help from Dom and glanced around at all of them expectant faces; in the background could be heard the little tip tapping of toes in the hallway and clapping and cheering as Priya did her ballet routine. “Oh, God,” she moaned, putting a hand to her soaking head. “I passed out. I’m turning into bloody Orlando.”

“Hey!” Orlando hollered, pouting. “I’m not that bad! I’ve never passed out upon meeting Raya’s parental units!”

“No,” Raya agreed patronizingly. “Only nearly.” She motioned to Liberty, “Up you get, we’ll go blow dry your hair and dress. Hurry, now, we haven’t got much time before Priya gets bored showing off.”

“Bored showing off!” Orlando admonished. “A Bloom? Perish the thought!”