"You winked at the security guards?" Elijah repeated, sounding harassed. "That's stupid."
"It's not."
"It worked, then?"
"Well, no," Dom conceded. "But it might have, had they been gay, or women."
"Yeah, right," Elijah laughed. Dom then began winking in rapid succession at Elijah.
"Have you got something in your eye?" He leaned forward. "Let me see."
Dom pulled back, looking annoyed. "I don't have anything in my sodding eye!"
"Well, there is no need to be rude. If you cant say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Elijah rolled his eyes and turned back to finish cutting up the vegetables for their vegetable plate. The two of them were hosting an "American Idol" watching party, followed closely by a "The OC" party which basically consisted of them watching television, yelling at each other and eating finger foods.
Dom rolled his eyes as he rummaged through the fridge for dip. "Oh, bloody hell."
Elijah turned around, wielding the knife. "What did I tell you about swearing, Dominic?"
He pulled the dip from the fridge and stood still, reciting blankly, "Not to do it."
"That's right." He gesticulated with the knife, but only received a confused look from Dom, across the kitchen. He sighed, "And..."
Another blank reciting. "I'm sorry."
Elijah prompted, "And..."
Dom sighed heavily, in defeat, and walked across the kitchen to hug Elijah in an annoyed sort of way.
When Dom had turned back to the kitchen table, Elijah prompted once more. "And..."
More annoyed, Dom stalked back to Elijah and planted a quick kiss on his cheek.
Elijah, pleased, turned back to his vegetables. Chop. Chop. Chop. "That's very good, Dominic."
"Thank you." Dom spooned dip into a bowl and then set it aside to empty a bag of chips into a bowl beside it. "You act like my mum."
Elijah didn't reply, for he knew it'd only be a swear, and he was trying to cut back; and if he had to cut back in that department, so did Dom. Whether he wanted to or not. (Which he didn't.)
The television watching parties usually prompted more swearing than everyday life. Especially when Simon said something particularly rude ("That bastard."), or Marissa did something amazingly annoying. (She was often called a favorite word of Elijah's, one beginning with a 'c', and a word that his mother would not approve of.)
Dom, however, found Elijah's swearing to be rather endearing, and figured his own to be such as well. Elijah, as usual, disagreed. It seemed they were always disagreeing now. It had all started last year, as far as Elijah could tell, when Ruben had won American Idol over Clay. Dom was very bitter about this win, and Elijah, being a Ruben fan, used it as his way to make Dom angry.
They definitely knew which buttons to push.
Billy was the only person who showed up this particular week, for the party. Everyone else was busy, or so they said. Dom figured it was because they didn't want to listen to he and Elijah bicker constantly about everything under the sun. But he didn't care, because secretly he enjoyed arguing with Elijah. It just made things more fun.
"I'm going to get a Pepsi, anyone want one?" Dom stood up from the sofa and took a step towards the kitchen door before turning back to his friends.
Billy held up his beer, whilst simultaneously stuffing chips into his mouth. Elijah shook his head. "I don't think so. Coke, please."
"We haven't got any Coke," Dom replied. "It's Pepsi or nothing."
"Pepsi's horrible for you."
"Elijah, it's a well known fact that Coke is much worse for you."
"They both put holes in some sort of internal organ, so I highly doubt you're correct."
Dom strutted into the kitchen, retrieved two Pepsi's and strutted back out again; he plopped one into Elijah's lap and stood in front of him, ready for a good row. "Well, at least I'll die with a nice taste in my mouth."
"So will I, you wanker," Elijah retorted heatedly; he, nevertheless, popped his top and sipped.
"Don't call me that. If I can't swear, neither can you." He paused. "We can just drink water."
Elijah made a face. "Water's so bland. Like Marissa on The OC."
"Marissa's not bland," Dom argued stoutly. "She's shy and quiet."
Elijah snorted. "She's far from shy and quiet. You only like her because she doesn't wear much for clothes."
"That's not true. I think she's got a good heart."
"Sure," Elijah replied doubtfully. "And I'm the Queen of England."
Dom bowed so low his nose nearly touched the ground. "You do look a touch womanly, your majesty."
"Shut the hell up about my feminine features."
"Don't BLOODY swear," Dom stated calmly.
"Dominic." A warning tone.
A matched warning tone. "Elijah."
Elijah threw his hands into the air, muttered a curse then let out a huge "ARG" pirate call and stalked from the room.
"You do realize you two argue like an old married couple," Billy said, chewing on a pretzel stick. "It's amusing, but I would think you'd tire of it." Dom flopped onto the sofa and let out a long breath. "Oh God," Billy muttered. "He's gone into a huff."
Elijah came back into the room moments later, looking solemn. "I'm sorry, Dom. Can we just watch American Idol in peace?"
Billy frowned. "American Idol's on? Is that why you invited me over for some telly?"
Dom and Elijah both looked oddly at Billy, as if they'd never seen him before. "Der," Dom commented. "Where've you been?"
"In Scotland," Billy answered obviously; Elijah ignored them, took a seat across from Billy in the circle of furniture and flicked on the television.
"I like Ryan Seacrest," Elijah said after a few minutes. "But the contestants this year aren't up to par. They have no Ruben."
Dom scoffed. "Ruben. Clay should have won." Elijah cast him a doubtful look. "What? He's a better singer."
"No, he's not," Elijah retorted.
"Clay is so much better."
Elijah scowled angrily, "YOU LIE!"
"Clay has spunky hair! Ruben's BALD!"
"That's faulty reasoning. I've been bald."
"Yes, and it didn't suit you." Dom turned back to the television, but only to mutter, "Clay is my hero."
"I don't know you anymore." Elijah turned away from him, looking confused.
"He should be your hero, too. You're both geeks. You've a lot in common, except you can't sing. But you're both femaley. In that cute, adorable way," he added as an afterthought.
As it was a commercial break all of a sudden, Elijah decided to continue in this argument; had the show still been on, he would have shushed Dom and ignored him. "Femaley's not a word. And, shut up. Ruben rocks."
"He so doesn't. He only won because it was rigged. He did a lousy rendition of 'Flying Without Wings'."
Elijah laughed loudly. "You only say that because you love Westlife."
"I do not love Westlife. I like them, as people, because they can drink me under the table."
"Well, they're Irish. By that reasoning, you should like the whole of Ireland, but you don't."
Dom sneered across the room. "I'm going to slug you."
"I'd like to see you try. And I'm not a geek."
Dom let out a little condescending laugh combined with a pitiful, "Oh, Elijah," which would have gone well with a pat on the head, had he been sitting nearer.
Ignoring this, Elijah pressed on. "How am I a geek?"
"I've got a better question. How are you not one?"
"Show's back on," Billy said; this resulted in everyone falling silent to watch the screen.
"I need to purchase some thongs before I go to Australia next week," Dom stated during the commercial break between AI and The OC. They'd just shown an advertisement for the upcoming episode, and it was set on the beach.
Billy burst out laughing. "Since when do you wear thongs?"
Dom blinked. "What? You saw me wear them at yoga yesterday."
A disgusted look. "Ew, no I didn't! And I wasn't looking!"
Dom shook his head, "Billy. I'm talking about my footwear."
"Flip flops," Elijah supplied. "Dom calls them thongs, though I've told him it confuses people 'cause thongs are those underwear women, and some gay men, wear."
"Arse floss," Dom nodded.
Elijah turned to Dom. "You've got twenty pairs of flip flops in the closet."
"Yeah, but they're all old. I need new ones."
"You bought that purple pair last week," Elijah pointed out, shaking his head like he was dealing with someone in Special Ed, but was trying very hard to remain calm as they poked you in the eye.
"It's purple." Dom made a face. "Like Tinky Winky. I'm not walking round Australia like that."
"Do they even get The Teletubbies?" Billy wondered, cocking his head to the side.
Elijah chuckled. "I hope for their sake, they don't."
"It's not a bad show," Dom commented lightly. "You can learn stuff."
"Like what?" Billy asked curiously.
"I don't know. How to spill porridge."
"Spill porridge?" Billy gasped, outraged. "Surely, you jest!"
"The OC is starting," Elijah said, pointing to the television. "Quiet, now."
"Oh, my god. Marissa�s in a bathing suit." Dom slid off the couch and crawled to rest in front of the television.
Billy gave the television an appraising look. "I like this show better than American Idol."
"Oh, for God�s sake," Elijah mumbled. "Would you two stop drooling? She�s completely boring. Not to mention annoying."
Dom turned away from the screen briefly. "We know you�re gay, Elijah. But at least let us have some fun."