"At the age of seven I took up tap dancing."

Everyone in the room stopped pouring drinks, drinking drinks, eating random foods and flipping through the television channels, respectively, to stare at Elijah.

He blinked at all the sudden attention. "What?"

"Why are you telling us you took up tap dancing?" Dom questioned, wiping a pretzel crumb off his potato sack outfit.

Elijah shrugged. "I thought it was a good thing to tell you."

Billy looked as if he wasn't sure whether or not to run screaming from the room or start laughing hysterically. "Erm. Lij. Why did you take up tap dancing?"

"For balance, of course. Duh." He rolled his eyes, then screamed in fright as a contact fell onto the floor. "I've lost my contact!"

Dom and Billy exchanged confused glances. "What?" They asked, simultaneously, staring at him.

"My contact!" Elijah replied, squealing as he felt around the hardwood floor. "MY PRECIOUS!"

Billy snorted. "You don't even wear contacts."

"Yes, he does," Dom argued, popping some popcorn into his mouth. "His eyes are all cross-eyed otherwise. And, also, they're a murky brown."

"Lies."

Dom shook his head vehemently. "I do not lie."

"You're lying right now."

"I'm not. I---"

"STOP!" Elijah screamed suddenly, waving his arms around. "Help me find my precioussssssssss! I mean, my contact!"

"Elijah, you are way too obsessed with your eyes. Vain, much?" Dom, nevertheless, dropped down to his knees and began feeling along the carpet for Elijah�s contact.

Elijah snorted. "You should talk, Dominic. You carry three mirrors around wherever you go!" He ticked them off on his fingers. "One in your shoe, one in your pants pocket and the other one in your belt loop."

Billy laughed. "He�s right. You are vainer than him."

Dom made a face a Billy and began feeling under the couch. "I can�t help it if I�m sexy and I have to look at myself eighty times a day. Also, I took the belt loop one out because it fell out one day and shattered. It was a tragic day."

"Try eighty thousand five hundred and six," Elijah muttered. "AH HA! FOUND IT!" He brought an object up to his face and examined it. "Ew. This is plastic wrap."

"What do you expect to find under the couch?" Billy replied, tossing the plastic wrap into the bin.

Elijah stared at him. "My contact."

"Or dust," Dom stated, flicking a dust bunny into the wastebasket. "Elijah, are you sure you had contacts on?"

"I think I�d remember," Elijah replied haughtily.

Billy sat up. "Does anyone else think it�s odd that we�re looking for a contact when Elijah doesn�t even WEAR contacts?"

"I do today," Elijah stated as if this wasn�t at all odd. "Ooh what is this?" He was now searching under the CD rack and pulled out a long, bright pink feather boa. "What the hell?"

Dom yelped. "That�s mine! I�ve been looking EVERYWHERE for it!" He jumped up and took it from Elijah before winding it carefully around his neck. "How do I look?" He asked, posing in the middle of the room.

"Like a drag queen," Billy replied without pause.

Dom did a little twirl. "But a hot one, right?"

Billy blinked. "As hot as a drag queen can be."

"Thanks Bill," Dom answered happily, posing around the room with his hands on his hips.

Elijah scrunched up his nose. "Dom, pink is so not your color. And it so doesn�t go with your potato sack. FOUND IT!"

Dom and Billy turned to look at him, whether because he�d found his contact, or because he was talking about the color pink, neither of them knew.

Elijah popped his contact back into his eye (making Dom and Billy cringe due to the fact he didn�t bother cleaning it off) and jumped happily back onto the couch.

"Lij, you are a very strange little man," Billy said, taking a seat beside him and popping off the top of a beer.

Elijah smiled. "Thanks."

Dom raised a confused eyebrow. "I don�t think that was a compliment."

"It�s okay," Billy assured him quietly. "Let him think it was. Ignorance is bliss."

Elijah pointed suddenly to the television screen. "It�s Seany!!! Wow, nice ass shot. Where do these cameramen go to school?"

"Cameraman U," Billy replied, taking a sip of his beer. "You can really see Sean�s bottom there."

"You can always see Sean�s bottom," Dom commented, grabbing a beer from the cooler. "Sorry, Sean. You�re like an uncle to me."

Billy turned to him. "I think you�ve said that before."

"Dude, you can�t reuse your own quotes."

Dom stuck his tongue out at both of them. "I can if I want as they�re MY quotes. Also, who says I can�t reuse them? I�m terribly witty and it�d be a waste to only say things once."

"He has a point," Billy said fairly, throwing a piece of popcorn at Elijah, who ate it.

"I don�t think we should learn things from someone wearing a potato sack," Elijah said, tipping his head to the side and staring at Dom. "Not to mention a hot pink feather boa."

Dom batted his eyelashes at Elijah and rubbed the feather boa against the shorter man�s cheek. "But it brings out the color in my eyes."

"Yes," Billy agreed quickly. "Your eyes are the color of rancid meat, and it�s the loveliest thing in the whole wide world."

"I thought wrapping yourself in a towel of yourself was the best thing?"

"Well, it is, Dominic," Billy said reasonably. "But there are lots of lovely things in the world."

"Contacts," Elijah interjected.

"Deli meats," was Billy�s contribution.

Dom nodded happily. "Potato sacks and feather boas."

"Oooh!" Billy yelled suddenly. "This is like in Peter Pan when the Darlings are learning how to fly and they have to think lovely thoughts!"

Dom laughed. "Like ice cream!"

"And Christmas!" Elijah squealed, clapping. "I�m going to try to fly."

"I wouldn�t�" Billy said, watching as Elijah stood up on the couch between he and Dom. "It�s only a movie. It�s fake."

Elijah�s lower lip trembled. "Stop crushing my dreams, Boyd! First Tig and now PETER PAN!" He sniffed loudly and hopped off the couch. "You�re so cruel!"

Billy sighed heavily and Dom reached out to pat Elijah on the shoulder reassuringly. "It�s okay, Lij. Billy�s just old and dried up and doesn�t know how to use his imagination."

"You watch too much Barney," Billy accused, handing a tissue to Elijah.

"I watch Sesame Street, thank you very much. I wouldn�t want to learn things from a big purple dinosaur."

"No, you�d prefer to learn from a person in a huge bird suit? And puppets?"

Elijah started wailing uncontrollably. "STOP IT! You�re making my world spin out of control! Next you�ll tell me that Santa Claus isn�t real!"

Billy and Dom exchanged glances; Billy turned up the television and Dom sat Elijah down on the couch with a glass of milk and a cookie.

There would be time for harsh realities later.

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