His butt hurt like hell as he stood up from the bed and stretched. He felt sticky with sweat and overly tired. He dropped to the ground and began doing pushups, but he ached too badly so he stopped. His white t-shirt stuck to his chest as if it had been glued there.

"Damn Elijah. At it again," he grumbled, yawning, "I'll get him back one of these days," Dom chuckled evilly as he plotted. His plans were ceased when he cringed; his butt really did hurt. Dom crawled back into bed and realized he was not alone.

"What the HELL!?" Dom screamed like a little girl.

The body beside him groaned lethargically and rolled over to face Dom. "Hey, baby," Elijah said, smiling happily.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Dom screamed, fleeing from the bed to the corner of the room, where he cowered, staring at Elijah as if he were a demon from the underworld.

Elijah sat up in the bed, the blankets falling to his lap, "What's the matter?"

Suddenly, Dom sat up in bed, panting. Sweat rolled down his forehead, blurring his vision as it landed in his eyes. It had been a dream�or a nightmare, Dom couldn't tell which. He silently thanked god it hadn't been real, and then shivered. He'd had a dream about being in bed with Elijah. That was not normal. Dom tried to close his eyes and go back to bed, but he couldn't.

"Damn Elijah," he muttered.

"Dom?" Elijah questioned, appearing in the doorway.

Dom looked very stricken, "ELIJAH!? WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!? What are you doing here?"

"Don't you remember last night?" Elijah cooed, smiling secretively.

"Not really. I was completely pissed. That's all I remember. I also remember Billy telling me to stop drinking since I was nearing a comatose situation."

Elijah sulked, his lower lip pouting out, "You don't remember anything after that?" Dom shook his head, looking confused, and Elijah's eyes began tearing, "I can't believe you don't remember. It was the best night of my life."

Dom's eyes widened, "What the fuck happened?"

"DOM!" Elijah wailed, flopping onto the bed dramatically.

"I don't know what the hell is going on----" Dom stated, beginning to breathe heavily. The sheets became constricting like he was in a cell and he felt the need to move, but couldn't, since Elijah was sitting on his foot.

"I thought you loved me," Elijah muttered into the bedspread. Dom scooted away from him, looking completely horrified.

"I feel sick," Dom replied, from the very corner of the bed, "Really, really sick."

"So do I," Elijah retorted, his eyes flashing with sadness.

"I ache all over, Elijah, what did you DO!?" Dom demanded, getting up from the bed because the reality was hitting him and it was too much to bare. He suddenly felt a chill all over his body as the blankets fell away from him; he was completely nude. He scrambled to grab a sheet, and pulled it out from underneath Elijah. Elijah fell onto the floor, cursing.

"It hurts me, Dom, it truly does�that you wouldn't remember what we did."

"ELIJAH! EWWW! AHHHHH!" Dom ran screaming into the bathroom, wrapping the flimsy sheet around his form. He shut the door with a snap behind him.

Elijah sat up on the bed, giggling slightly, "Dom, you can come out."

Dom was pacing the bathroom, muttering to himself and looking terrified and sick at the same time. "I will not! I'm naked!"

Elijah jumped from the bed and crossed the hall to the bathroom door, "I care not, you hot hobbit."

"Well, I do!" Dom hollered back to him, "And don't call me that!"

"Stop acting like a pussy, Dom," Billy's voice came through the crack between the door and the floor.

Dom stared at the door like it had turned into something unnatural, "BILLY!?"

Billy chuckled, then became serious, "It is I, Dom, Billy Boyd. Please come out. Elijah and I need to tell you something."

Dom turned grotesquely green, but put on a brave face as he slowly opened the door. He saw Elijah and Billy standing there trying to be straight-faced, but failing miserably. "What are you going to tell me?" Dom asked regretting the answer.

"GOTCHA!" Billy and Elijah both yelled, and then ran with all they had to the front door.

"YOU BASTARDS!" Dom hollered after them, grinning a little, "YOU SICK BASTARDS!"

Billy threw open the door and looked back as Dom watched them angrily, "Why am I naked, Billy?"

"For effect," Billy answered, as if this was obvious. He rushed out the door, slamming it behind him. Because Dom was basically nude, he knew he wouldn't follow them; but you can't be too careful.

As Billy and Elijah walked to Elijah's car, which was parked inconspicuously round the back of the house, Billy smacked Elijah hard on the butt.

Elijah screeched, "OW!"

Billy laughed silently, "He's watching out the window, mate, have to make it look realistic."

"Make WHAT look realistic?" Elijah questioned, raising an eyebrow as Billy got into the driver's seat. He turned around trying not to look obvious and saw Dom looking at them behind his curtains. As Elijah looked, Dom dived out of sight.

"The plot, my dear hobbit, the plot." Billy answered, chuckling.

"The plot to-----" His voice faded away as he gesticulated blandly. He had no idea what the older man was talking about.

"The plot to freak Dom completely out of his knickers."

"You don't mean that literally, do you?" Elijah asked, sounding worried. "Because, Billy, I'm not gay. I don�t want to see Dom�s knickers�or anything else. I had my eyes closed for most of the time in there."

"I know that," Billy replied, turning the car on now that Elijah had buckled up. "And, no, I don't mean it literally. It's a saying."

"I've never heard it before," Elijah commented as Billy drove off down the street.

"Doesn't matter," Billy sighed, "He's going to get us back, you know. It'll probably be really dreadful."

"Yes," Elijah acknowledged, "But maybe this'll stop him drinking fifteen cartons of liquor."

"All in good time, Lij."

"Hey Billy?" Elijah said, sometime later. "Did you keep your eyes closed?"

"You can't do things with your eyes closed, Grasshopper. Sometimes you must open them to really see things."

Elijah cringed a little, "Um�yeah. But Dom undressed himself, thankfully.� He paused and glanced at Billy anxiously, �Right?"

"Yeah," Billy replied, nodding. "Dom always sleeps in the nude."

"You would know this�how?"

"Interviews. You know. `Boxers or briefs?' Well, Dom told everyone who would listen that he slept nude. He made his own bed, Elijah. Now he must lie in it."

Elijah nodded in understanding, "Hopefully with clothes on."

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Maybe Someday the alternate (SLASHY) ending