Breathe Easy

Chapter One : Finding A Date

"You don't NEED a date for the wedding," Barb soothed, smoothing out the dress she was trying on; she twirled around in front of the mirrors in the shop, looking at herself from all angles. "What do you think of this one? I don't think it's quite right."

"It's not. It's too white." Gail picked up a pair of shoes from the shoe pile and held them up against the dress, making a face. "And so are these." She set them down, sighing. "Okay, I know I don't NEED a date, but I would like one. So, I'll just take an add out in the paper."

"Don't do that. All the weirdoes will answer it. A dress can't be too white. There's no such thing as 'too white'. But..." She paused, eyeing herself critically in the mirror. "Oh, you're right. It's too white." Barb jumped down off the pedestal and made her way back to the changing rooms.

"I'm always right," Gail shouted after her, rummaging through the many expensive pairs of shoes on the floor; the saleswoman watched her with a beady eye, a contemptuous look on her pale, narrow face.

"Maybe Clay's got a friend he can set you up with, for a date," Barb said, coming out of the changing room with a new dress on. This one was obviously the best thus far; it suited her, and wasn't too white. It was just right.

"Wow. That's the one, Barb. It's fantastic. You look beautiful." Gail stood up to look at Barb over her shoulder, at her various reflections in all the mirrors.

Barb seemed speechless, staring at herself open mouthed with a look of awe on her face. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and breathed out slowly. "This IS the one, you're right. I've got to have it." She turned around to face her friend. "I want you to be as happy as I am. I am going to have Clay set you up with THE BEST possible guy."

After a brief smile, she responded, "I don't like blind dates. Plus, it'd be like a pity date 'cause I can't get a date of my own." She bent down to find a pair of shoes; after finding a suitable pair, she handed them up to Barb.

"It won't be anything like that," Barb replied, trying out some different hairstyles to go with the dress. "I think Ruben's single. He'd probably love to come to the wedding escorted by you."

Gail gave her a look. "Thanks, but no thanks. I'm apt to slap him because I feel he robbed the title from Clay. It'd be dangerous to put him anywhere near me."

"You were nice enough to him when we saw him last week."

She thought about this for a moment, then lifted her chin in the air and sniffed in a stuck-up fashion. "I'm a nice person."

They both started laughing, which turned into the giggles, which resulted in the Hawkeyed Saleswomen scooting them out into the bright sunlight that bestowed LA.

Gail slid her sunglasses over her eyes and waited while Barb rooted around in her purse for her car keys. "Do you want to grab some lunch? Clay's meeting me in twenty."

"Yeah, okay. Except I should get back to the office. We still haven't set up that interview with Dominic Monaghan, yet."

The two girls got into Barb's rather large car and set off towards a posh Beverly Hills restaurant; Barb and Gail were founders of the FanGirl Network, a major channel on television. The ratings of said channel outsoared MTV by a thousand last year alone, so they were flourishing. Barb worked as a producer on the show, as well as founder and CEO; Gail, a CEO/founder, also did a lot of the writing which meant she often got to choose who the newest guest on their television show would be. Barb and Gail, while working behind the scenes, also worked in front of the cameras on their very own show which was half SNL and half Conan O'Brien. Only with girls interviewing hot guys. That was how Barb met her husband-to-be, Clay Aiken; she had interviewed him on the show and sparks had flown immediately.

Since day one of FanNet, Gail and Barb most wanted to interview Clay, and the four main hobbits from Lord of the Rings; so far, the hobbits hadn't been able to do it, but the girls still had their fingers crossed.

"Clay's not here yet," Barb stated, surveying the crowd at the restaurant as the hostess led them to their predisposed table. A tall guy walked up to them just as they were about to sit down.

"Ladies."

"Adam!" Gail yelled, jumping to her feet and hugging him. "What are you doing here?"

Barb hugged him next, smiling happily. "Same thing as you, I bet," he laughed, gesturing towards his table. "It's good to see you two. When can I get on the show again?"

"Any time you want," Barb replied honestly.

"We're trying to fill a slot for next Monday," Gail said, pulling a diary out of her large bag. "I was trying to get Dominic Monaghan, but he hasn't returned my calls...."

"I'm there. I am your fill-in guy," he winked at them, and they laughed; any time anyone cancelled, or anytime they couldn't fill a slot, Adam Brody would jump in and save their butts. He also happened to be the first guy who was ever on the show. "Well, I'll let you get to your food. I'm sure business people get very hungry while they're wheeling and dealing."

"You would know," Barb joked, giving him another quick hug.

Gail hugged him as well, and said, "It was really good to see you." He waved and walked back to his table.

Barb picked up a menu and gave it a cursory glance. "You should invite him to the wedding."

"Who? Adam?"

"No, Michael Jackson. Yes, Adam. He'd go."

"Yeah, but it'd be a pity date." Gail made a face. "I hate pity dates."

Barb stuck her tongue out, "Adam's not like that, and you know it." She looked back at the menu. "Don't order any mushrooms. Remember last time Clay got hives just looking at them."

*

Clay arrived right before anyone ordered, just in the nick of time like always; they had a very calm lunch, discussing the wedding and Clay's current schedule (which was so sporadic that not even he could keep it straight without looking at his palm pilot). When they were about to leave, Barb breeched the subject Gail had been hoping she wouldn't.

"So, have you got any attractive friends?" She paused. "Maybe that came out wrong. Have any single friends, Clay?"

"Sure," he laughed, giving them both an odd look. "Why?"

"Gail needs a date for the wedding. She won't go without one."

"I didn't say I wouldn't go. I said I'd feel better if I had one."

"Understandable," Clay replied; Gail thanked him quietly. "All my single friends are already invited, so I suppose we could sit one of them with you." He shrugged and paid the bill; the three of them started walking out.

Barb suddenly got a look of pure excitement on her face and she started squealing quietly and jumping up and down the second her feet hit the pavement outside. Gail watched her curiously, knowing this was probably a good sign, but not having a clue why Barb was going all Fangirly on her. "Do you know any hobbits?"

His brow furrowed as he thought. "No, I don't think I've ever met a hobbit."

"Not one of the actors who PLAYED a hobbit, even?"

Clay laughed and gave Barb a quick kiss on the cheek. "Not even that, no."

"Where are you going with this?" Gail questioned curiously. "We've already got Adam filling Dominic Monaghan's spot."

"It's not about the show. It's about the wedding." Barb raised her eyebrows in a knowing look. "What if we could somehow get one of the hobbits to accompany you?"

"That'd be awesome, but how are you going to do that? None of us know any of them."

"I met Liv once," Clay said, handing two tickets to the valet.

"She wasn't a hobbit, though."

"Six degrees of separation, and I know a hobbit. I met Liv once, and she was in LOTR with all of the hobbits." Clay smiled brightly. "See?"

"Gail, will you take my car home? I can pick it up later. I have to have a talk with Clay."

Barb's car drove up then, and Gail took the keys from the valet. "Okay, but I don't know if I like the sound of this."

"Me either," Clay replied jokingly; Barb hit him gently on the arm and he put said arm around her.

"You will when it pans out," Barb stated mysteriously, getting into Clay's car; she waved to Gail, who drove past them and out of sight.

"What are you planning?" Clay asked, once he'd started driving home.

"Oh, you know me," she replied vaguely, waving her hand around dismissively.

"Yeah, I do." He grinned. "And that's why I'm scared for her sake."



Chapter Two : Blasted Weak Knees

"I don't like when you have that look in your eyes," Gail said, sliding her feet into positively teeny shoes. At least they looked that way.

"What look?" Barb asked innocently from where she was standing across the room looking at herself in the mirror. They'd just gotten her into her wedding dress, and her mom had gone off to find Something Blue, because there didn't seem to be Anything Blue in the entire church.

"The Mischievous Look, previously only seen on Dominic Monaghan." She put the other shoe on and stood up to look at herself in the mirror; she had had many fittings of this dress, like Barb had with the not-too-white wedding dress, but was still not sure the color suited her.

"I did learn it from him," Barb conceded, laughing; she turned around. "You look great!"

"Thanks," Gail smiled. "You look even better. But that's how it's supposed to be, since you're getting married, and I am not."

"You might be after today."

Gail narrowed her eyes. "What?"

"Nothing."

"I am so scared right now."

"You should be," Barb grinned.

She closed her eyes, opened them, and swallowed. "I need a drink."

"WATER!" Barb called after her, hoping she wouldn't leave to go to the nearest 7-11 for any sort of alcoholic beverage. The last thing she needed was a very drunk bridesmaid...especially since neither Barb nor Gail even drank.

*

"Hi, excuse me, do you know if this is the Clay Aiken wedding?"

Gail spun around, water in hand, ready to smash some reporters over the head. Luckily for her, she didn't have to ruin her dress by doing so; unluckily for her, she seemed to lose all feeling in her legs at the sight of the men in front of her.

"Hello," he held his hand out for her to take. "I'm Elijah Wood. I was just wondering if I was in the right place. The directions were a bit spotty."

"What he means by that is that his eyes are a bit spotty. He can't read directions to his own house, for God's sake." The taller, British one, held his hand out to her and grinned cheekily. "I'm Dominic Monaghan."

"Um, hi." Gail let a breath out, counting to ten quietly in her mind and hoping she wouldn't pass out on the spot. Instead of passing out, her knees gave way (damn weak knees!) and she slid to the ground in a pile of silk chiffon.

"Oh, my god, are you okay?" Elijah bent down to help her up, looking worried. Dom looked curious; Elijah had told him this was a non-alcoholic wedding...but perhaps Elijah had lied?

"Yeah, thanks. I'm fine." She dusted off her dress, carefully avoiding any water stains, since the water bottle seemed to have opened itself. "I'm Gail. I'm, uh..."

"Ah! I knew I recognized you!" Elijah grinned cheerfully at her. "You're from the FanGirl Network! I watch you all the time!" His face flushed. "I mean, um, I watch sometimes, when I'm...you know...flipping through channels."

"He watches religiously," Dom interjected. "And so do I. It's nice to meet you."

"You, as well," she managed to say so without drooling, which was a good thing.

"We're supposed to be meeting you," Elijah stated, a smile back in place. "Clay called me and asked me to escort you. He said something about you being frightened of his older cousins, and how they have...what did he call it? Groping tendencies? So I brought Dom along to protect you if I have to go to the bathroom or something."

Gail made a mental note to thank Clay about a hundred times over at the reception; though she had a feeling Barb was behind it all. She made a mental note to kill Barb later, after thanking her, of course.

"You're got two security guards, 24/7, so don't worry about any groping cousins," Dom winked.

Gail was about to say something when she heard footsteps behind her and the swishing of a dress. "Oh!" Barb yelled once she got within seeing distance. She put a hand to her mouth, her eyes wide. "Gail, I...I just came to see what was keeping you. We're supposed to start soon."

Elijah and Dom grinned at her, "Hello."

"Hi," Barb replied, regaining her composure. "I'm Barb...the...the bride."

"Barb the Bride. That could be a new show for you." Elijah stepped forward. "Elijah Wood."

Dom nodded to her. "Dominic Monaghan. Lovely to meet you. That dress is fantastic. Isn't it fantastic, Lij?"

"Brilliant." Elijah smiled.

"Thank you," Barb stated, smiling back. "It's really nice to meet you. We're big fans."

"We?" Elijah asked, looking around.

"Gail and I," Barb motioned to Gail, who had been standing silently to the side, watching Elijah and Dom with an expression of joy mixed with terrible fright on her face. Normally, she and Barb were ever the business women, but that facade crumbled slightly when they met their favorite celebrities, and turned into fangirls. Which happened more often than you might think.

"Oh!" Elijah yelped. "I didn't know YOU were fans of US!" He colored slightly. "I mean...Dom?"

"He means he didn't know you were fans of us," Dom grinned. "Though, I'm not entirely sure why you'd ask US to accompany Gail unless you were. It's all very confusing to me. Maybe you can explain it to us later."

"There's no need for explanations," Elijah said briskly. "It's alright. I'm happy to be here. I love weddings!"

"OH!" Barb yelled suddenly, jumping a little. "My wedding! I nearly forgot! Dammit." She turned to Gail. "Don't you dare tell Clay I said dammit. Twice."

"I would never," Gail replied, half in a daze still. Barb rushed off, shouting over her shoulder that Gail should get a move on. She turned to the two guys once Barb was gone. "I should probably...I'm sort of in the wedding."

Elijah laughed, "I noticed. That's a great dress. I hope you can dance in it."

"I haven't tried yet..." Gail's voice trailed off, and she looked down. "These shoes will murder me, though."

"You can take them off when we dance," Dom replied, smiling. "We'll go find a seat in the back and wait for you so we can go with you to the reception. Clay said you have a special limo or something?"

"I don't know for sure. I wasn't let in on the plans for transportation. But if he said that, then probably. I know he and Barb have a limo to themselves." She grinned. "See you after, then." She started walking off, but stopped and turned around. "Thanks for coming to protect me."

Then she was gone, leaving Elijah and Dom with continuing questions in their minds.

*

"Why didn�t you tell me so I�d be prepared?"

"I wasn�t sure if they were coming. Clay never told me." Barb blotted her lips on a tissue and turned around to look at Gail in the eye. "Believe me, I would have told you had I known. I'd have needed someone to squeal to."

"Yeah, you�re right. I know. I�m sorry." She sighed. "I was a complete idiot. I just stared at them."

"Yes, but you didn�t drool, right? That�s positive."

"True."

"Did you stutter?"

"Not really."

"Good." Barb stood up. "I�m getting married in about five minutes, by the way."

"Oh, yeah. That�s right." Gail smiled. "I know. I�m sorry I�m freaking out."

"Don�t be. I�m totally freaked out, too. Not as bad as I envisioned when we used to fantasize about meeting them."

"Oh, God," Gail groaned. "Please don�t tell them we used to fantasize about them."

"I won�t," Barb laughed.

Gail closed her eyes and groaned again. "My knees got weak, and I collapsed on the floor."

Barb let out a huge laugh, and tried to cover it up by coughing; without much luck, though. Gail, after looking offended, starting laughing hysterically.

"Maybe they think you�re charming?" Barb suggested, once they�d stopped laughing; she wiped at her eyes with a tissue.

"Yes, because the most charming thing in the world is to collapse."

"Oh, well. Make up for it by being very witty and amazing at the reception."

"Okay. How about we go get you married to Mr. Clay Aiken?"

Barb couldn�t stop the grin from plastering itself goofily across her face. "Yes, let�s do that."



Breathe Easy

Chapter Three : Married Life

Barb and Clay had not yet arrived to their own reception, and it was already twenty minutes in. A hush set over the crowd. What happened to them? Did they get stuck in traffic?

What about the cake!?

"I�d like to see what cousins are the gropers," Dom commented, leaning back in his seat at the circular table and sipping a glass of water.

Gail blushed slightly, her heart beating faster; she was seated in between Elijah and Dom (something she was very thrilled about, of course). "Um, I�m not really sure. Clay mentioned that most of his cousins got �overly fond� when drunk."

"Did he use those exact words?" Elijah questioned, half laughing.

"Overly fond? Yes, those are his words, not mine." She gulped down her entire glass of water, and then set it down a bit too hard.

Dom turned towards her. "So, how do you know the newlyweds?"

"Oh, well. Barb and I are the CEO�s of the FanGirl Network, and Clay came on to be interviewed once, and they went on a date that night. The rest is history, as they say."

"Do you get perks as well as her?" Elijah questioned, grinning.

"I�d say this is a perk right now, actually."

"The wedding?" Dom asked, looking around at the gathered guests.

"No," Gail laughed. "You two."

"Well, I�m flattered. How about you, Lij?" No answer; Elijah was staring, and not paying attention. "Lij?"

"What? Oh, yes. Definitely. Yeah." He smiled at Gail, who blushed and reached for her empty glass. "Want some more? I can go get you some. Be right back." He took the glass from her and scurried off.

Dom leaned over. "I think he fancies you."

"Why would you say that?" Her voice had gone all shaky, something Dom didn�t miss.

"He�s acting like a teenager," Dom grinned widely. "How old are you, anyway?"

"Old enough to not act like a teenager. Something I�m doing very poorly at." She sighed heavily. "Bastards."

"Who?" Dom chuckled.

"Oh�no. I just say that�it�s like�it�s like a greeting. Almost like hello. I just say it all the time. For no reason."

His smile widened. "How delightfully odd."

She shrugged nervously. "I�m two years younger than Elijah."

"Ahhhh, you did research?"

A loud laugh escaped her lips and she chuckled. "Um, sure. You could call it that."

*

A flushed Barb cornered Gail just as she was coming out of the bathroom; her bodyguards were standing at the other end of the hall, watching curiously.

"How�s it going?" She asked in a hushed whisper.

Gail mimicked her voice, conspiringly lowering her head. "Fine. How are you doing? Holding up okay with all the old aunts pinching your cheeks?"

"Yes," Barb laughed. "I think I might be a bit hysterical."

"This is new�how?"

She swatted her arm lightly and forgot she was trying to be quiet. "I�m Mrs. Clay Aiken! You know that saying �drunk on life?� Well, I�ve got that."

Gail giggled. "That�s fantastic! I think."

Barb nodded enthusiastically, then stopped and looked at her seriously. "SO? Are you going to tell me or not?"

"Tell you what, exactly?"

"What�s happening with the hobbits?!" She lowered her voice and pulled Gail around the corner, just in case Dom and Elijah could read lips.

"Oh, nothing. They�ve very nice. Quite funny, too. Dom was telling this joke---"

"You haven�t once mentioned their hotness. I�m ashamed of you."

A laugh. "Thanks."

"It wasn�t a compliment."

"I know." Gail patted her arm. "Go back to your husband. I�ll tell you allll about my brush with hobbits after your honeymoon."

Barb beamed at her. "My husband!" Then she rushed off.

*

Clay dragged Barb behind the cake stand and sighed heavily, rubbing his thumb against her hand. "Are you sure the cake�s vanilla?"

"Yes, I double checked."

"Triple checked?"

"I phoned them sixteen times, Clay. I don�t think they would lie to me that many times."

Clay breathed out slowly. "Okay, good."

Barb leaned over and kissed him. "You�re so cute."

"So are you." Another kiss. "Don�t smash the cake all over my suit, okay?"

"Alright, but don�t throw it at me like at the tasting. I had cake in my hair for three days afterwards."

Clay giggled slightly. "I remember. You look adorable with frosting dripping down your face."

Barb made a face, but she was smiling, and it was obvious the two of them were madly in love. After the obligatory photos were taken, and the cake feeding went a bit awry (amazingly, some cake hit Elijah in the side of the face which resulted in him tossing some at a laughing Dom and Gail), it was time for dancing.

The obligatory first dance went down without a hitch; Clay didn�t even step on Barb�s feet, something she was grateful for because he feet were killing her. Though, if he had stepped all over there, she probably wouldn�t have noticed; she was in a state of euphoria, rightly so.

"Do you know how to get cake out of your hair?" Dom asked, attempting to pull a bit out of his spiked hair, to no avail.

"No, but Barb does," Gail replied, raking cake out of her own hair. "Clay gets a bit rowdy and throws food at her sometimes."

"Kinky," Elijah commented lightly.

Gail laughed and shrugged. "You shouldn�t talk. You�re the one who put cake in our hair in the first place."

"This is true," Elijah agreed, nodding. "And I�m deeply aggrieved to have caused you two such pain and sorrow. I could make it up to you by offering a dance."

"No, thanks. I don�t dance with blokes," Dom replied cheekily.

"I meant Gail, but maybe we could dance later if you get over your bloke rule."

Dom made a disgruntled face at him and waved them off. "Go on, I�ll go and see if I can get it out in the loos. Good thing I brought my heavy duty gel with me." He patted the breast pocket of his suit jacket. "I come prepared to all occasions. It�s the special new travel size."

Gail was giggling as Elijah pulled her out onto the dance floor. As they danced around a beaming Clay and Barb (who kept kissing, much to the chagrin of Clay�s groping cousins), Elijah picked bits of cake out of her hair and tossed them over his shoulder. Sadly, he ended up hitting Clay�s mother in the face once; Faye took it well, though, and merely tossed it aside.

"Cake suits you," Elijah joked.

"Gee, thanks," she laughed.

"So�." A pause. "What are you doing after this?"

"I have another wedding to attend."

"Oh, really?"

"No."

He chuckled. "Ah."

"Actually, I�m not doing anything. I�m supposed to be working on this weeks� shows, but--" she shrugged. "They�re mostly figured out. I just booked the last slot a couple of days ago, so I�ll probably go home, eat ice cream and watch Conan O�Brien."

"That sounds like lots of fun."

"Oh, it is."

"Do you maybe want to go get some dinner, or maybe catch a movie?"

"You�re not too busy?"

Elijah laughed. "Not at all. I�m in between films, so I�m basically just slobbering about until I start filming again."

"Well, that would be fun, then. Sure, I�d like to."

"Fantastic." He swung her over towards the corner of the room and leaned closer to her; she could feel his breath on her face, could feel his heart beating against his chest. "You have cake running down your face," he laughed, swooping it away.

"Thanks," she giggled, shaking her head. "Do you often throw food at people?"

"Nah. Only people I really like."

"Oh." Before she could say anything else, his lips were on hers; it was so brief that she thought maybe she�d imagined it, but the look in his eyes told her she hadn�t. Her cheeks were flushed, and she thought her heart might attempt to break out through her chest, but it stayed put. "That was, um---"

"Nice?"

"Unexpected," she laughed. "But, yeah. Nice."

*

"Good job, matchmaker," Barb said, bowing slightly.

Clay laughed. "Thanks, but it was all you."

"I only pushed you in the right direction."

"Yeah, but telling me if I didn�t at least CALL him, you wouldn�t marry me." He pouted at her, which caused her to laugh, and then kiss him.

"You know I didn�t mean it. It was obviously an empty threat."

Clay shrugged. "Maybe. But I honestly didn�t do much. When I called, we had a good conversation. When I explained what was going on�and threw in the bit about the groping cousins for good measure�he said that he�s had a crush on her since your show started."

"Really?" Barb laughed. "That�s ironic."

"That�s what I thought." He paused, smiling at her. "I had a crush on you since I first met you, as well."

"Same here." She sighed happily, kissing him again.

And they lived happily ever after.

Except Dom, who couldn�t get the cake out his hair properly; therefore, he never let it drop, and was always complaining to Elijah that he had �ruined his perfect head of hair.�


Disclaimer: The idea for this story came from a crazy conversation between Barb and Gail. Probably only said people will understand it, but oh well. It has been written. (It's weird speaking in third person.)

|

�back