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Frequently asked questions about our twins
- Are they twins?
- This probably is the most frequent line that starts a conversation.
- Are they boys or girls?
- They are girls.
[When they were infants,] their hair was still thin and short, it was hard to tell by their facial features. However, even when they were wearing pink dresses, people still liked to ask this question a lot.
[At age 3,] they wear long hair and dresses. The answer is so obvious that this question doesn't come up anymore.
- How do you know for sure they are identical?
- The sonogram specialist told us early on during the pregnancy that identical twins were very likely because the ultrasound image showed only one placenta. He could not guarantee because sometimes two placentas fused to look like one on the sonogram. We knew for sure on the second day after the twins were born. The lab test on the placenta confirmed that the twins are identical.
- How do you tell them apart?
- We have to use different ways to tell them apart at different stages. I numbered their differences, so you can easily see when the differences come and gone. The ones in red are still true.
new born- (1) Joanne had a pointy head, Jasmine had a rounder head.
(2) Joanne had paler skin color, Jasmine was red.
(3) Joanne has a scar above her left temple. The doctors put some kind of probe near the cervix to measure the heart beat of the babies or the contraction during labor, I don't know which. I believe the probe scratched Joanne's forehead when she squeezed her way out. The scar later turned into a white spot on the skin.
three month old- (4) Jasmine was skinnier, she was half pound lighter than Joanne
(5) Joanne has a mole (quarter inch in diameter, raised sixteenth of an inch) on top of her head covered by her hair.
(3) stayed, (1)+(2) gone.
six month old- (6) Joanne smiled with a bigger dimple. She has a pin hole size dimple on the edge of her right ear.
(5)+(3) stayed, (4) gone.
nearly nine month old- (7) Jasmine had one tooth, Joanne had none.
(6)+(5)+(3) stayed.
nine month old- (8) Jasmine had two teeth, Joanne had none.
(9) Joanne had denser and darker hair, Jasmine's was brownish.
(6)+(5)+(3) stayed, (7) gone.
ten month old- (10) Jasmine has started crawling, Joanne hasn't.
(11) Joanne turns around by pivoting on her butt while Jasmine turns around by first changing to a crawling position, changes direction then returns to sitting position.
(12) Joanne has a tiny freckle (32nd of an inch in diameter) on her left knee.
(9)+(6)+(5)+(3) stayed, (8) gone.
eleven month old- (13) Jasmine crawls with palms and knees, Joanne crawls with elbows and belly.
(12)+(11)+(9)+(6)+(5)+(3) stayed, (10) gone.
eleven and a half month old- (14) Jasmine wags her tongue left and right and make "la la la" sound.
(15) Joanne can be often found playing a strand of hair in her mouth.
(12)+(11)+(9)+(6)+(5)+(3) stayed, (13) going away.
thirteen month old- (16) Jasmine started walking around often, Joanne can walk a few step, but she prefer crawling.
(17) Joanne eats by picking one piece at a time with her thumb and index finger, you often find Jasmine with both palms full of multiple pieces of whatever she is eating. Actually, this behavior started to show when they were 9 months old.
(14)+(12)+(11)+(9)+(6)+(5)+(3) stayed, (15) going away, (13) gone.
fourteen month old- (18) Jasmine doesn't crawl anymore, Joanne still crawls occasionally.
(17)+(14)+(12)+(9)+(6)+(5)+(3) stayed, (11), (15), (16) going away.
fifteen month old- (19) Joanne has 7 teeth, Jasmine has 8. It is not difficult to see there are only 3 teeth in Joanne's lower jaw.
(17)+(14)+(12)+(9)+(6)+(5)+(3) stayed, (11), (15), (16), (18) gone.
sixteen month old- (20) For some reason, the veins of Joanne are more visible than Jasmine. You can see the blue veins near her temples and on the nose between her eyes.
(21) Jasmine eats more milk than Joanne, but Joanne eats more solid food than Jasmine. However recently, Joanne chews her food then she spits out the tasteless residue before taking the next bite.
(22) Joanne cries a lot more than Jasmime, probably because Jasmine bullies her often.
(23) When something happens, like a loud sound etc., the one running away crying is most likely Joanne, Jasmine will stay to investigate.
(19)+(17)+(14)+(12)+(6)+(5)+(3) stayed, (9) going away
twenty month old- (24) We found a freckle on Joanne's back on her right side near the bottom of her rib cage. We also found a tiny freckle on Jasmine's right elbow, she often points it out to show other people.
(25) We noticed Jasmine is slightly cross-eyed. When we look back at their old pictures, we found that she developed this problem very early on. Joanne's stare often focus off to nowhere, looks like she was day-dreaming.
(26) We often find Joanne sleeps close to Jasmine, sometimes with an arm around her, sometimes with one of her leg across Jasmine's neck. Jasmine is much less intrusive when she sleeps.
(27) Jasmine listens and follows instructions better than Joanne. Joanne sometimes has a mind of her own, or perhaps she just does not understand as well.
(28) Jasmine's nostrils tilt up slightly more than Joanne's.
(29) Joanne often resorts to violence. For example, after losing possession of a toy or failed to grab something from Jasmine, Joanne tenses up, clenches her teeth, hits Jasmine's forehead, or more recently, she bites Jasmine's arm to vent her frustration. Jasmine is much less violent.
(23)+(21)+(20)+(12)+(6)+(5)+(3) stayed, (22)+(19)+(17)+(14) going away, some differences are not obvious now.
thirty month old- (30) Joanne has tiny freckle under her eye next to her nose, Jasmine has a tiny freckle on her cheek next to the corner of her mouth. They actually have many more freckles now than when they were born, but some are on their back, knee and shoulder etc. and not as visible as these on the face.
(29)+(28)+(26)+(25)+(24)+(20)+(12)+(6)+(5)+(3) stayed, (27)+(23)+(21) going away, these differences are not obvious now.
three and a half year old- (31) Joanne likes to wear her hair with two pig tails, Jasmine removes them whenever possible.
(32) Joanne likes to pick her nose, Jasmine hates it.
(33) Jasmine wears eyeglasses because of (25), Joanne doesn't.
(30)+(29)+(28)+(26)+(25)+(24)+(20)+(12)+(6)+(5)+(3) stayed.
four year old- (34) Joanne likes drawing and plays music.
(35) Joanne has a sty on her left eyelid.
(33)+(32)+(31)+(30)+(29)+(28)+(26)+(25)+(24)+(20)+(12)+(6)+(5) stayed, (3) going away, the scar is not obvious now.
four year five month old
Joanne's sty left a thin red scar on her eyelid hear her eyelashes. It is visible only when she closes her eyes.
(34)+(33)+(32)+(31)+(30)+(28)+(25)+(24)+(20)+(12)+(6)+(5) stayed, (26)+(29)+(35) gone. The twins rotated their moods from time to time. Sometimes joanne was mean to Jasmine, sometime vise versa, hence (29) was no longer true.
four year eight month old- (36) Jasmine's eyes were red due to her recent eye surgery to correct her cross-eyes.
(34)+(32)+(31)+(30)+(28)+(24)+(20)+(12)+(6)+(5) stayed, (25)+(33) gone. Jasmine does not like to wear her eyeglasses.
four year nine month old- (34)+(32)+(30)+(28)+(24)+(20)+(12)+(6)+(5) stayed, (31)+(36) gone.
six year old- (37) Jasmine has a missing tooth which is visible whenever she smile.
(38) Joanne acquired a bad habit of smelling her fingernails. You could tell Joanne from Jasmine when one girl put her fingers to her nose.
(34)+(32)+(30)+(28)+(24)+(20)+(12)+(6)+(5) stayed.
seven year old- (39) Joanne has two crooked front tooth whenever she smile. Jasmine's front teeth were nicely grown.
(40) Jasmine got double eyelids starting in April. Not sure how long that will last. Joanne still had the typical single ABC eyelids.
(38)+(34)+(32)+(30)+(28)+(24)+(20)+(12)+(6)+(5) stayed, (37) gone.
nine year old- (41) Jasmine had a larger appetite than Joanne. As a result Jasmine became chubbier. She weighed 10% more than Joanne.
(39)+(38)+(34)+(32)+(30)+(28)+(24)+(20)+(12)+(6)+(5) stayed, (40)+(34) gone. Don't remember when Joanne kicked the habit of smelling her fingers for quite awhile, but the habit returned. Jasmine liked to draw and play music as much as Joanne, so the difference is gone.
- Can other people tell them apart?
- Once we point out their differences, even a stranger can tell them apart.
[At 30 months,] #28 and #30 above were giveaways.
[between 45 months and 56 months,] #33 was unmistakable.
[at 9 year,] #41 was unmistakable.
- Do they have similar personality?
- [ When they were babies, ] Not a bit. Jasmine was energetic, Joanne was gentler (when she was not violent). It had been so since day one. Some people told me the second twin is usually more energetic. Our twins fit this theory, but I wonder if there is real statistics to support such observation.
Jasmine was curious, Joanne was more indifferent. Jasmine was fearless, Joanne was easier startled.
[ As of 30 months old, ] some new observation in the personality. Jasmine was more willing to share. Joanne was not.
[ At age three and a half, ] Joanne is fearless, she wants to try anything new. She wants to ride her new bike, she wants to pat dogs, she wants to play new computer games etc. She is dominant over Jasmine, she takes whatever she wants. She is happy because she always wins.
Jasmine is more reserved, she wants to stick with the familiar routines. Jasmine is a crybaby, she seeks our judgment whenever she lost a fight with Joanne. She obeys mommy's rules and shares with Joanne. She cries a lot probably because she finds it unfair that she loses when she follows the rules.
[At 58 months,] Jasmine would cried sadly when scolded, she was sensitive to our disapproval of her. Joanne was remorseless to her wrong deeds and defiant to our reprimand.
Jasmine was willing to spend more time combing her hair. Joanne, though like to do braids and ponytails, usually refused to untangle her hair.Furthermore, the following differences are no longer true:
Jasmine was noisy, Joanne was quiet.
Jasmine liked to do whatever Joanne was doing (copied her moves, snatched her toys etc), Joanne did not like to mimic Jasmine.
- Why do you dress them alike?
- [ When they were babies, ]
- They were much cuter when they dressed the same way.
- We knew how to tell them apart without relying on different clothes.
- We know for sure when they start choosing they own clothes, they will want their own identity. Now is probably our only chance to dress them alike.
[ At age 2, ] we actually don't dress them alike most of the time. We tend to buy clothes in matching styles and designs, but we pick different colors, for example, pink or blue for Joanne and green or yellow for Jasmine.
The twins have strong reaction when we gave them the wrong clothes, they correct us right away. They know very well what is theirs. In fact, they are very possessive of what belongs to them.
I read from some child psychology articles that letting the child knows what is hers is the first step to teach her how to share. The theory is that if she learns from experience that she always gets back what she owns, she is more willing to let someone borrow it.
[ As of 34 months old, ] they usually pick something different from their sisters. But they don't mind letting us to dress them alike on occasions. Even though the final decision is mom's, the twins usually pick their own color when shopping for clothes.
[ At 4 years old, ] they seldom pick the same clothes. Joanne likes to wear a ponytail, Jasmine likes to hang her hair loose. It is hard to make the twins look identical nowadays.
- Do they cry at the same time?
- [ When they were babies ] Not usually. Only when one's crying woke up the other. When they grew older, they could be waken by noise more easily. If they were both awake, the other one would probably laugh at the crying baby.
- Is it hard to raise twins?
- You bet. Especially when they cry at the same time.
Besides, when all expenses are doubled, any budget plan just goes out the window. Nevertheless, all is worthwhile.
My wife is a very efficient and organized person. She is very good at time management. Because she stays home full time, my wife can manage the twins very well.
The answer to this question changed when they started to run around on their own. Now, the twins play with each other and require little attention. Compared to other single child family where the child demands undivided attention from the parents, we feel that we have an easier job. The tough time is over.
- What is the most costly part of raising the twins?
- Baby formula was very costly, used to be ranked first, but once they reached 12 months old, we switched to regular milk, the cost dropped tremendously.
Diapers used to be a major cost too, it used to be ranked second. After they were toilet trained, the cost vanished completely.
Clothing is next. We still cannot kick the habit of buying clothes in pairs. When they start to demand dressing differently, we can just have them share one set of clothes.
[ At age 3, ] cost of schooling started to bite.
[ At age 4, ] dance lessons, swim lessons started to cost money.
The cost distribution will all change at different stages, but I am not thinking that far ahead yet.
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