This website is made possible by the advertisement on these banners
I received these via email, I found it very interesting.
Playing with English Words
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?Let's face it -
English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? One index, two indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
(author unknown)
Interesting questions...
Wednesday, August 22, 2001 9:59 AM
- Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
- Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
- Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?
- Why is abbreviated such a long word?
- Why is a boxing ring square?
- Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
- Why is it that doctors call what they do practice?
- Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
- Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on Start?
- Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address,you turn down the volume on the radio?
- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
- Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
- Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
- Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
- Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
- If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?
- If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
- If you take an Asian person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
- Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
- What do chickens think we taste like?
- What do people in China call their good plates?
- What do you call a male ladybug?
- What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
- When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
- Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
- Why do they call it a pair of pants, but only 1 bra?
- Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? i iz hukt on fonix
- Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?
- Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
- Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
- Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
- How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
- If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?
- You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of the stuff?
- If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
- If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
- If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?
- If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
- Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
- Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
- Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
- What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
- Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
- If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Pondering
- It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
- Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
- We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
- It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
- Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humor.
- You can't have everything, where would you put it?
- Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
- If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
- Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
- The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
- Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
- Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
- When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a moray!
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
- The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.
- Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
- I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
- When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Return to Babies Journal Return to CP's Home page Site map
Search this site! counter started on Mar 23, 2001
Visitor Count