The Anti-Spotlight

Well, you could probably see this one coming too: with a Song Spotlight on a potential chart breaker, I offer a page devoted to describing the worst song- or songs- on the radio. This is where I get my club and bash these records good, hoping the radios will follow suit and NEVER PLAY THESE SUCKERS AGAIN!!!

Alexisonfire- Pulmonary Archery

This one starts real good- with all those churning guitars- and then the vocals- oh, those awful, obliterated vocals- start. Sigh.

Cold- Stupid Girl

This is another fly-by-night cry-me-a-river whinning wannabe rockers...just like Papa Roach. Guys, get over it.

Anaconda- I Need A Hero

Can covers be ruined by dance artists? Yes. Here, we have a dance DJ who, like practically every other one decides to go heavy on the bass, creating a series of thumps and a headache in me. Can I please have an inventive DJ do a cover?

The Daybreak- How Long Can We Wait?

Like Alexisonfire, The Daybreak ruin solid musicianship with atrocious and this time whiny singing. The lyrics are awful too. Please, hire a songwriter and a new vocalist so my ears can be saved.

The Guts- Out And Over

Whiny punk poseurs who have no idea what they're doing. Unlike Mindless Self Indulgence, these guys are just hopeless.

The Riptides- Surfers Are Back

Not that bad musically, but that mumbling that "passes" for vocals...

The Generics- A Lesson In Perfection

Just like the name says, they're generic...and too boring, childish and whiny to take seriously.

K.I.L.L.- The Forest's Haunted

I have honestly never heard a metal song as brutal as this one. Everything about this song is squeamish- the inane, horrible, obliterated vocals, the chugging guitars and the absolutely redudant (and naseous) Hallowe'en-esque feel, making me squirm several times while trying to put with this junk. I have something to tell them: first, it's NOT metal and second, it's not scary- it's just stupid. One of the worst songs of the whole YEAR by far.

Quoth The Raven- The Misled

They're not as embarrassing as K.I.L.L., but these "metallers" (and I stress the quotation marks) are just as inane.

Wiz- Found A Girl (Want You)

Someone forgot to tell him fourth-rate disco left with the Backstreet Boys about, oh, two years ago. Furthermore, he manages to combine both the Backstreet Boys and Shawn Desman in one...what a combination. *smacks head*

Ashanti- Dreams

This one's a canned inspirational song with cliched, dime-a-dozen philosophical messages about "keeping your hopes up". I must tell Ashanti to stop hanging around Ja Rule, because he's a bad influence.

Field Mob- Sick Of Being Lonely

It's OutKast wannabes singing a cliched song about sex. Dear.

Ginuwine f/Baby- Hell Yeah

Q: What's worse than a cliched sex song? A: A cliched sex song with Baby's moronic bird noises. Why didn't this end up on the cutting room floor?

Norah Jones- Come Away With Me

Just like her first single, Jones puts me to sleep with a tiring, simple jazz-pop number. As for her handlers at the Grammies who kept insiting how "epic" she is...yeah, she's epic...as in "epicly bad". Sigh.

Lil' Romeo f/Tyrone & Little D- Play With Us

I've got an idea: instead of rapping- which Lil' Romeo can't do- he should be playing with real kids...like the OTHER kids.

Mr. Cheeks- Crush On You

What's this? A grown man rapping an Aaron Carter tune? Well, it at least sounds like the little wee Carter wrote this cheesy "I'll be there for you" love song.

Mul-ty- Looking For Love

He wanted to make this a "thank you for loving me" soul ballad, but winds up doing something that's been done before...as in all of it. Not an ounce of originality here.

Rosey- Beautiful

This song is a crash course in "why major labels can't do raw songs". Why? Because raw songs are supposed to be that- raw- and not have all the bells and whistles MCA has here.

Terranova- No Peace

This industrial tune eventually repeats itself so much that it tires...all concept, no substance, really annoying.

-DG

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The WORST Songs on the radio

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