The Anti-Spotlight

Well, you could probably see this one coming too: with a Song Spotlight on a potential chart breaker, I offer a page devoted to describing the worst song- or songs- on the radio. This is where I get my club and bash these records good, hoping the radios will follow suit and NEVER PLAY THESE SUCKERS AGAIN!!!

Toby Keith- Who's Your Daddy?

"Baby. I'm gonna sex you up real good. Wanna come for a ride." Really, how much machismo do we need? First the hip-hop artists: now this? All this sex is getting tiring.

Darryl Worley- Family Tree

"Let's add another member to the family tree". I think that sums up why I don't like this song.

Baby f/P. Diddy- Baby Do That Thang

Oh, what joy. Yet another hip-hop song about sex with an unoriginal beat. Where would I be without it. *smacks head in disgust*

Play- I'm Gonna Make You Love Me

Sony Exec: Okay, I'm ready. (Pulls band out of oven in front of large crowd) Here's your next big thing: Play! (Everyone leaves, unimpressed) Wait a minute: why are you all leaving! Stop! *sighs* Oh well.

Sahara Hotnights- Alright Alright

Remember the band in The Donnas' "Take It Off" video that got twos and threes from the judges before The Donnas took the stage? This was the band. Whereas The Donnas have vitality and Allison Robertson's excellent guitar to call upon, these guys have nothing- and should go away as fast as they can.

Lucky 7- CA Girl

Guys, just because you shoot a supposedly funny video doesn't mean we'll take you seriously. We'll only take you seriously once you perform real rock, not something that kindergarden children could do.

Finch- Letters To You

Simply put, Top 40 radio plays guys like Finch so they think they're playing rock. *is not impressed* *sighs*

Solange f/N.O.R.E.- Feelin' You

This song is a combination of whiny vocals, simple lyrics, and very, very weak raps by N.O.R.E. Perhaps Solange- the little sister of Beyonce Knowles- never got her bigger sister's memo NOT to get into music...

SK f/Cee Dell- Playas and Shortys

Someone said in defence of Nelly, "at least he stays on topic" (yeah, but can't he have anything BETTER to talk about?) and, with this song, this is what he's talking about. Not to mention Cee Dell is just plain annoying. Ugh.

Ours- Leaves

Another spelling lesson, kiddies: U-2-C-O-P-Y-C-A-T-S. Thank you.

Alcazar- Don't You Want Me

<sarcasm>Yes, we all want second rate disco that should have been blown up in the '70s. Good work guys, good work.</sarcasm>

Nivea f/Brian And Brandon Casey- Don't Mess With My Man

<sarcasm>Wow Nivea. You're SOOO tough. I really don't want to mess with you.</sarcasm> Really, who wrote this, a two-year-old?

Nanci Griffiths- Good Night New York

You know what, by the end of this song I wanted to say goodnight, because it's so dry, it's sedative.

Lisa Loeb- Underdogs

This, by the way, is Michelle Branch's hero. Funny, because Branch could teach Lisa Loeb a few things about songwriting- namely EXPANDING ONE'S THOUGHTS. The song features two brief lines then a charge up to the chorus that is just plain well confusing and the simple lyrics make this one a huge head scratcher. Sigh.

Taking Back Sunday- "Cute (Without The "E"- Cut From The Team)

I know punk is supposed to be a blur, but every once in a while, can't it be a GOOD blur? Please?

UnderOath- When The Sun Sleeps

Take a generic rock band and give them a lead singer who only obliterates their vocal chords and you have this monstrosity. I won't even dare call this "music".

-DG

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The WORST Songs on the radio

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