DG's Album Reviews- January 2003

(NOTE: Albums reviewed are ones that I purchased).

Rating System:
WWWWW- An instant classic.
WWWW- Great and worthy of attention.
WWW- Good, but not phenomenal.
WW- I'm not so sure about this…
W- Well, at least it makes a good Frisbee

Now that 2002's finished, it's time to usher in the new wave of albums for 2003...and what a haul this month is. 24 albums in total, with artists like Dream Theater, Nas, John Mayer, Good Charlotte, Manowar, Chantal Kreviazuk and Sum 41 getting looks, mostly all bought with Christmas money. So, I was busy this holiday season, but, in the end it was worth it. Here are the reviews:

Dream Theater- Six Degrees Of Inner Turbulence (WW)
Good Charlotte- The Young And The Hopeless (WWWWW)
Manowar- Warriors Of The World (WWWWW)
Chantal Kreviazuk- What If It All Means Something? (WWWW)
The Donnas- Spend The Night (WWW)
Treble Charger- Detox (WWWW)
TATU- 2000 KM/H In The Wrong Lane (WWW)
Sum 41- Does This Look Infected? (WWWWW)
Simple Plan- No Pads, No Helments...Just Balls (WWW)
Justincase- (self-titled) (WWWW)
Papa Roach- lovehatetragedy (W)
Christina Aguilera- Stripped (W)
Sixpence None The Richer- Divine Discontent (WWWWW)
Phil Collins- Testify (WWWW)
Rascal Flatts- Melt (WWW)
Jennifer Lopez- This Is Me...Then (W)
Shaggy- Lucky Day (W)
Coldplay- A Rush Of Blood To The Head (W)
System Of A Down- Steal This Album (WWW)
John Mayer- Room For Squares (WW)
Taproot- Welcome (WW)
Jennifer Love Hewitt- Barenaked (WWW)
Nas- God's Son (WWWWW)
Audioslave- (Self-Titled) (WWWW)

Dream Theater is a band that baffles me. It shouldn't be that one of music's most talented collectives- singer James LaBrie, guitarist John Petrucci, drummer Mike Portnoy, keyboardist Jordan Rudess and bassist John Myung- can create an album as lifeless as "Six Degrees Of Inner Turbulence", but create it they have. This two-disc set- the first, a collection of ten minute-plus songs and the second the title track, split into eight songs- rarely ever pleases, having about as much life as The Calling and overall feeling the listener very empty-handed. In the first disc, there's quite a bit of meandering involved with the sound, and, despite some really great technical segments (which shouldn't be a surprise since this IS Dream Theater), these segments never do fit well together as a cohesive musical piece. It's a shame really, because these guys can play and have important messages to get across ("The Great Debate") on the first disc, but it's all lost through all this confusion. The second disc- the title track split into eight songs or "sections" is more worthy of your time- here, some simple segments shine through, like the Nickelback-ish "About To Crash" and "Solitary Shell". Unfortunately, they're at the beginning, and, after the songs are done, the complexity- and the lack of cohesiveness- returns. The second disc does rank as a disappointment by the time it's done, even if it's not as much as one as the first disc was. Overall, as much as I'd like to recommend Dream Theater, their talents alone are not enough to make this barely cohesive album worthwhile. Also, if lifeless rock is your forte, you're much better off buying a Creed album- it's half the cost and at least you can expect it from those guys, unlike Dream Theater.

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Good Charlotte- The Young And The Hopless (WWWWW)

Good Charlotte have always fought the good fight to get mainstream recognition, and, with "The Young And The Hopeless" may finally get it. The Maryland quartet, featuring the Madden twins, Joel and Benji, and two high school friends named Paul and Aaron (searches for last names proved inconclusive), seem to be 2003's version of Dookie-era Green Day. While, at first, this may seem like cutting a bit too much for GC, the similarities do exist and, given the time frame- some nine years have elapsed since "Dookie"- it seems like we're due for another. For starters, this is GC's second album, just like "Dookie" was Green Day's second, and, just like Green Day did in their prime, GC speak very well to their target audience, the teens. It's a pretty personal album, and, while the lyrics- or musicianship- may not strike anyone as stunning, they do what they have to do. Arguably, the main gems on this album are "Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous", a smart, antiestablishment song, and the Michelle Branch-esque "Emotionless" and "Say Anything". However, on the downer, this album does tend to tire a little, and the simplicity of the work- which is very apparent and sometimes creates awful musicianship ("Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous")- sometimes are a bit much, but they're only minor blips on a very enjoyable album. It's no-frills rock, yes, but it's memorable, and should give GC the hit album they need.

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Manowar- Warriors Of The World (WWWWW)

American quartet Manowar have been "fighting the good fight" in music for some twenty years, and continue to do so excellently with "Warriors Of The World". Manowar- vocalist Eric Adams, bassist Joey DiMaio, guitarist Karl Logan and drummer Scott Columbus- again provide what you'd expect from a metal act, namely very talented and loud guitar riffs, and, although not nearly as talented as a band like Dream Theater, they do manage to ensure their technical prowess fits together cohesively. They have a very entertaining feel to their music and are very haunting- these guys don't just talk about their fighting spirit, they mean it. For example, the album's strongest songs- "Warriors Of The World United" and "An American Trilogy"- present a very dark and haunting feel, and, especially with "Warriors Of The World United", capture this fighting spirit perfectly. The closing three songs- which are punk-ish in nature- are a little bit of a downer, but they seem to be meant as preparatory songs for war, as if to get their "troops" all fired up for battle (remember, these guys are, as in "Warriors Of The World United", "fighting for metal that is real"). They feature insanely fast drumming, and are so fast no pop-punk band of today could even dream of keeping up. Sure, the lyrics are very cheesy and sometimes even predictable (sample: "Hand Of Doom": Line 1: "Nothing shall remain, not your memory, your name." Line 2: "It will be as though you never ever lived". Could've fooled me), Adams' Axl Rose-inspired vocals do get annoying and songs like "Nessun Dorma and Valhalla" are just plain weird. However, Manowar represent rock's greatest guilty pleasure, a sonic masterpiece despite bad lyrics, and, while what they're fighting for may sound a bit dumb, it's still a lot of fun listening to it.

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Chantal Kreviazuk- What If It All Means Something? (WWWW)

Ever since 2000's "Colour Moving And Still", Canadian pianist Chantal Kreviazuk faced a newcomer in the pop-pianist field in New Yorker Vanessa Carlton. Of course, Carlton didn't really offer much of a fight and Kreviazuk's always been a consistent force, so this should be a no-brainer, right? Yes it is: I'm not trying to fool you: Kreviazuk has returned again with a beautiful album that's very soulful, moving and ten times more compelling than Carlton ever was. A song like "Ms. April", for example, seems to be like a direct potshot at one-hit wonder celebrities, as Kreviazuk seems to be almost scolding celebrities who think too much of their fame without actually realizing that it could all come down in the end. The title suspiciously suggests that Kreviazuk may be, in veiled attempt, to be attacking Canadian wunderkind Avril Lavigne, who's been criticized at times for letting her fame get to her and has also been labeled a "fad", since "Avril" is French for "April". It's curious, but I'll leave that up to you to decide. Speaking of Lavigne, the girl who gave her the chance to succeed- Michelle Branch- appears on this album, singing back-up on "Waiting", and, for those of you who heard "The Game Of Love" and missed the yearning Branch, you'll be pleased to know she's back and, as a result, adds a very nice touch to the uplifting track. Just like Carlton, Kreviazuk's songs start slow but pick up in the end, but, unlike Carlton, the tracks actually improve, as Kreviazuk- as should be expected from a seasoned veteran- actually knows how to use progression effectively. Still, this album gets dragged down because of a lack of variety (there's several ballads on this album) and sometimes Kreviazuk resorts to rip-offs to make songs (e.g. "Julia" opens just like LeAnn Rimes' "Life Goes On" and the title track- co-written by Our Lady Peace and husband Raine Maida- has a chorus that rips right off "Innocent"). Kreviazuk also shines a lot better when she receives help in songwriting as opposed to when she writes by herself ("In This Life", "Morning Light"), unlike Branch whose best work comes by herself. Still, "What If It All Means Something" is another fine album from a consistent pop voice, and a sign that Kreviazuk is here to stay.

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The Donnas- Spend The Night (WWW)

There's a long bottom line when it comes to The Donnas: all they want to do is party; and party hard. They're known- sometimes notorious- for cheesy party rock numbers that either leave their listeners in a state of supreme euphoria or in utter rage, willing to chuck anything at the incessant noise just to make it stop. Well, The Donnas return again with that same cheesy rock, and it's very uneasy to stay compelled to listen to this album. If you've heard "Take It Off", the first single, you've heard the album: every song on here is in practically the same vein, all about how boys do them wrong and how they want these boys to "show them what they got". A song like "Pass It Around" has the girls mocking a guy for "bringing the party down" because he refuses to share his drink and that these girls really want to get drunk with him. * rolling eyes * "Too Bad For Your Girl" has the girls telling their guys about "how much better they could do", while "Take Me To The Backseat" almost promotes group sex. I tell you, it's very hard not to squirm listening to this, since the girls seem like overgrown schoolchildren and, honestly, it's not very exciting. Still, these songs do work individually and, despite the KISS influence being obvious, they do work- in fact, that's central to making them work. Plus, Allison Robertson's excellent guitarwork is worth the price of admission, raising the songs past mediocrity and to satisfactory, if only just barely. Still, The Donnas are far behind the times, continuing the stereotype that female rockers can "only have fun", while artists like The Distillers, Joydrop and LiveonRelease have graduated into a previously male-only territory of serious rock. Of course, The Donnas' claim that they're just like male rockers by citing male influences makes "Spend The Night" all the more unbearable. Still, if you're willing to hear a talented female guitarist- a rarity these days (well, more so than the men)- "Spend The Night" is worth it, if you can tolerate some really, really cheesy rock.

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Treble Charger- Detox (WWWW)

Probably what sets Treble Charger- twin frontmen/guitarists Greg Nori and Bill Priddle, bassist Rosie Martin and drummer Trevor MacGregor- apart from all of their rock contemporaries- including the likes of Nickelback, Default, Our Lady Peace, Foo Fighters and Saliva- is the fact they've always been the in-your-face type of rockers, ones who never seem afraid to state their intentions without skirting. Hits like "American Psycho" and "Brand New Low" went a long way in securing themselves and their hard-hitting style into the mainstream, and, with "Detox", Treble Charger continue doing so with excellent results. The album more or less solidifies the fact Treble Charger are the Canadian John Rzeznik, especially with songs like "Tired Of It Anyway" ("just because you say the words doesn't mean you're sorry) and the cheeky but biting "Ideal Waste Of Time". They also expose more punk-ish influences with songs like "Hundred Million" and "What You Want", as it seems the band took a few pages out of Sum 41's (the band Nori manages) book, and it works very well for them: it gets the listener into the album, and allows them to stick around for the heavier, mellower songs that lie ahead. In it, the seventh track, "Don't Believe It All" brings the band back to it's "Red" days, and, in the process, lay down the absolute best track they've ever done. It's a very emotional and personal song and is undoubtedly the best song mainstream radio has ever known in recent years. Still, the band still sound a tad too generic, and the band's Priddle/Nori vocal arragement really doesn't work out perfectly: Nori's better as a lead vocalist and Priddle is better as a lead guitarist, especially since Priddle has annunciation problems. Also, the closer, the Tragically Hip-ish "Drive", isn't all too effective, as the song features a three-minute conclusion that is just a three minute lightening of the drums and tuneout of the guitars. Superfluous? You bet. Still, "Detox" is worth it- a solid album from a solid group, showing that Treble Charger are still at the head of the game.

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TATU- 200 KM/H In The Wrong Lane (WWW)

First off, let me warn you this is a manufactured pop group coming right out of Russia, and, just like any manufactured pop group, TATU- the suspiciously similar-looking Lena Katina and Julia Volkova- rely heavily on images, as the two girls pose frequently in overtly "friendly" poses throughout the liner notes. Still, this album is way more compelling than any manufactured group that's come before them, even if there's more calculation on here than on a mathematician's calculator (for example, their two hits- presumably- "All The Things She Said" and "Not Gonna Get Us" (featuring an annoying screech)- have Russian versions). I guess Ivan Shapovalov, who formed the group, realized that in order to succeed at all in this business, he needed provide a product that has substance, and that it does. The sound is entrancing, and the lyrics sometimes contain quite a bit of bite and a sense of personal reflection, heightened by the fact the girls sing them very well. "Stars", for example, has the group reflecting about love, underneath the stars, wondering if it's right or whether they're making too much of it. They also push a lot of boundaries, with the lesbian references of "All The Things She Said" and "Malchik Gay" challenging the idea of the traditional love song, and the sincerity of their voice show that they do mean what they're singing, even if their own orientation isn't clear. Still, it could make listeners uneasy as well, and the possibility that the two are playing on male fantasies does undermine their intentions somewhat. Overall, while it's easy to overrate TATU simply because they're different, the Russian pop stars present something that is compelling and griping throughout the calculation, and maybe could be a lesson to all future manufactured bands.

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Sum 41- Does This Look Infected? (WWWWW)

Oft-complained about for not being "real punk", Ajax rockers Sum 41- frontman Deryck Whibley, guitarist Dave Baksh, bassist Cone McCaslin and drummer Steve Jocz- probably figured the only way to ever gain any credibility past the fifteen-year-old crowd was to actually develop into a real rock band, much like The Offspring did before. To a degree, Sum 41 manage to achieve this, as the band has matured greatly and are much more polished than they ever were in their previous two efforts- "Half Hour Of Power" and "All Killer No Filler". They still do manage to retain their punk roots, though, but like any good punk band- pop or not- they take the good side of punk- the liveliness and energy- and put it together into a very pleasing blur. While the blur's going on, you see Sum 41 starting to tackle world issues ("Still Waiting", "My Direction" (suicide) and "Mr. Amsterdam"), referencing The Tea Party to great effect ("Billy Spleen") and singing eye-popping personal songs ("The Hell Song"). The best out of all of the eye-openers is "Over My Head (Better Off Dead)", as the band uses the catchy hook to deliver a very personal song about a guy who's lost all hope in life. It's very startling and goes a lot further than Blink 182's "Adam's Song" ever did and just may be the best Sum 41 have ever done. Still, there isn't a lot of variety past up-tempo rock, Whibley's voice can get annoying and "A.N.I.C." is way too much of a blur and represents a minor roadblock in this fast-paced work. However, Sum 41 have shown that they've grown as a band, and, like Lifehouse, just may have earned their spot rightly amongst the mature rockers and away from the kiddie crowd.

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Simple Plan- No Pads, No Helmets…Just Balls (WWW)

Considering that rock, more or less, in the latter half of 2002 embraced snottier pop-punk bands like Sum 41 and Blink 182, the emergence of Montrealers Simple Plan- frontman Pierre Bouvier, drummer Chuck Comeau, bassist David Desrosiers and guitarists Sebastien Lefebvre and Jeff Stinco- shouldn't be a surprise. It also shouldn't be a surprise that this band's target audience is teens, but, even so, Simple Plan do it well and that's what makes this album enjoyable. Songs like "I'm Just A Kid" (loneliness), having no luck (the witty "God Must Hate Me") and not living up to parental expectations ("Perfect") seem to be taken right out of any teen's diary, and that's part of the album's overall connection and relation (most are in their early twenties). Sure, Bouvier's childish whine gets annoying, the band gets dull around the middle of the album and gets a little too childish and stupid ("The Worst Day Ever" and "Addicted"), but I guess it's a given considering who they are. The highlights of this work are two tracks found in the latter half, "My Alien" and the album closer "Perfect". The former is a hilarious reflection on what it might be like to be romantically involved with an alien. The latter hits home just right, as the song delves greatly into the teen's anguish that he can't be what his father wants him to be, providing a very deep and personal song. By the end of the album, I'll admit it was difficult to rate this album- it wasn't good enough for four, but not bad enough for three. So I give it three just to be safe, but don't let that deter you: it's still a very strong album and one that will certainly leave a mark.

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Shaggy- Lucky Day (W)

When "Lucky Day" came out back in November, Shaggy complained profusely at his critics, stating that they simply had no business criticizing him for trying to "mainstreamify" his music and that he was ruining reggae. He stated that Bob Marley, the virtually undisputed king of reggae, did the same thing, yet he's considered the standard by which all reggae is judged. Hold on there for a second, Shaggy, A.K.A. Orville Burrell: you have no business evoking the name of Marley in trying to defend yourself, at least not when you release an album as bad as "Lucky Day" was. You see, Marley left a legacy as both a political opponent and as a marquee performer, someone who sung from the heart and made sure his music was as real and honest as it could be. You? All you've done is basically do a re-hash of a P. Diddy album, making one that is neither a lot of fun or at all different from mainstream urban in general and that is nowhere NEAR as profound as Marley ever was. Yeah, you're the "Mr. Lover", but after hearing your work, that moniker is not only tiring but it's inane, devoid of all the artistic merit it might have once carried. When you sing "you can't judge me/you don't know me" in "Walking In My Shoes", all I can do is smack my head in disgust, because, at that point in the album, you've established yourself as a very run-of-the-mill artist, someone who's the complete CONTRADICTION of everything he set out to achieve. Furthermore, the title track is just lame, using the same cliched lyrics that have been done to death before ("They don't call me Mr. Lover because I like ice cream/They call me Mr. Lover because I fulfill dreams"). * seething with anger * Just so you readers all know, there's more where that came from ("Hey Sexy Lady", "Strange Love"). Your lyrics, Shaggy, when they're not sexily cliched, are mostly direction-less ("These Are The Lips" f/RikRok Ducent), and do we really need a beginner's keyboard for beats in "These Are The Lips" and "Give Thanks"? If you're really honest about making trying to breakthrough to the mainstream, you can certainly afford something better than that, right? Yeah, I'll give you "Shake, Shake, Shake", a pleasant dance track, and "Lost" a touching and reaffirming song about hard times, but that's it. So, Shaggy, before you go and compare yourself to the greats, MAKE something that is great- or, at the very least, not something that is forgettable and regrettable as this.

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Coldplay- A Rush Of Blood To The Head (W)

It's official: you don't need lullabies or sleeping pills to get a good night's sleep, all you need is Coldplay. It's been clinically proven too. Okay, so it hasn't, but it wouldn't surprise me if it eventually was, especially after an album as boring as "A Rush Of Blood To The Head", made even more boring by frontman Chris Martin's awfully dry and barely audible voice. Practically every song on here is in the same vein as "In My Place" and, believe it or not, just as boring as that song was, if not more. There's really only one up-tempo song- "Clocks"- on here, and, expectedly, it's only mildly entertaining song on this album and probably the only one after the cute "Yellow". Yeah, Coldplay are great lyricists- "I will buy my gun and fight the war/Once you tell me what's worth fighting for" (the title track) is just one example- and standalone, these songs might be a little bearable, but as a whole this album puts the listener to sleep. Progressions need a lot of work, as does variety, plus the band seems much too quiet at times: for example, the band took "Whisper" just a little too seriously. You see, Coldplay are like the old adage: if it doesn't sound good, who cares what the lyrics are? You won't be able to pay attention to them anyway, and, on an album as boring as this one, you will never care about them. Perhaps Coldplay should have quit while they were ahead after "Parachutes", but, then again, they're only goal is to get more boring than Radiohead, and why should I stop them? Sigh…

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Justincase- (Self-titled) (WWWW)

For about the past several months now, Michelle Branch decided to use her fame to good use, and that was to promote her friends Justincase. She made constant references to them on her personal Web Site- www.michellebranch.net- and made constant pleas to her fans to check them out. Wanting to know what all the fuss is about, I decided to hunt for Justincase, and I'm glad I did. The three-piece Tosco sibling trio, all a year apart- Justin, 18 (vocals/guitars/keyboard), Hannah, 16 (bass) and Nick, 17 (drums, percussion, backing vocals)- may not exactly be the best things to come since sliced bread and may not be a revolutionary outfit, but they're still an extremely enjoyable bunch. They're quite energetic and a lot of fun, and, what makes them all the more enjoyable is the fact they know they're a kiddie pop/rock band and never over-extend themselves. It's a relief from bands like The Calling or Hoobastank, who insist we take them seriously, which is a comforting thought. Still, just because they're kiddie pop/rock doesn't mean their lyrics have no bite: Justin, the chief songwriter, is showing himself as a capable songwriter himself, taking just enough from Branch to prove he too will be a force in the music industry just like Branch is now. The best songs on here are the two tracks Branch herself has connections with- the co-penned, first single "Don't Cry For Us", showcasing Branch's own development as a deeper, more personal songwriter, and "Without You", which Branch sings on, featuring the great line "Every day there's Sun/It just feels like rain." Still, the band does rely way too much on additional musicians on their own instruments- producers John Shanks (who did Branch's "The Spirit Room") and Rick Seamster are called upon to nail electric guitar riffs that Justin obviously can't pull off- and, while Branch, being a soloist, can be forgiven for this, the band, who should provide all the sounds themselves, cannot. It works wonders on the album- the songs are still great- but the live show will take a hit. Justin just has to learn how to effectively use his own band's talents, and, in time he will learn that. The album also tends to be a little repetitive and stale towards the end and some songs are incomplete ("9:14"), and the influences (Branch, Sum 41 and The Beatles) do shine to the surface more times than they should. However, Justin- and Justincase in general- show signs of improvement in all areas and have a vast potential, and have made a remarkable entrance.

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Papa Roach- lovehatetragedy (W)

I find it curious that Papa Roach decided to put a baby with giant headphones on the cover of the album, because the baby accurately describes the album's actual content and why everyone should avoid it. Papa Roach, with "lovehatetragedy" have joined Californian "joke rockers" The Calling as rock's biggest joke, crying and whining like little babies over life and how much it stinks. Awww…does someone need a diaper change? The album's filled with canned emotion rife with atrocious vocals (Jacoby Shaddix has to be among the worst rock has ever known, as well as one of rock's worst lyricists ever) and has a total of no good songs- "She Love Me Not" is just (barely) the least mediocre. Okay, so I'll give the guys credit for saying "you can't put a spirit in a grave" ("Singular Indestructible Droid") and for being half-decent musicians, if only uninspired, but there's only so much of this I can take. There's so much crying on here that, by the time it's done, I'm crying because of how distinctly bad and unoriginal this all is, and how much better it's been done before. Go ahead, Papa Roach: go home and cry to your mommies about how much life stinks, because the rest of us could care less.

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Christina Aguilera- Stripped (W)

Pop's former wholesome girl turned prostitute for "Dirrty" and lost all semblance of beauty in the process, but, as much as "Xtina", as Christina Aguilera likes to call herself now, would like you to believe she's now such a dirty, sex-crazed girl, the truth is she is not. In fact, "Stripped" is more like Aguilera's audition for VH1's Divas Live, as Aguilera and her big pipes (which she, thankfully, still uses) tries to outdo Whitney Houston and Celine Dion in the schlockiness department and manages to at least match them. Her songs are overwrought with emotion and are grossly overdone, as she just plain tries way too hard to gain any sort of credibility as a singer. For the most part, "Stripped" is a directionless affair with horrible musical backdrops, with both the slow jams (meant to emphasize Aguilera's voice) and the fast-paced songs being grossly overdone. For example, "Fighter" features a cheesy turn as a rocker (though Dave Navarro's guitar is excellent), while "Dirrty" is a horribly cliched sex party track sampling Redman's "Let's Get Dirty". Still, Aguilera shows signs of improvement, and, through all this lack of direction, she is a wonderful lyricist and, with the last three songs she does show she finally has a grasp of what she's doing. Of particular note is "I'm OK", which covers the war-torn, dysfunctional family atmosphere excellently, and is a lot better than Pink's cheesy "My Vietnam". Still, "Stripped" is largely forgettable, showing Aguilera she still needs to iron out a few details before she can finally become a credible writer.

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Sixpence None The Richer- Divine Discontent (WWWWW)

It's been a while since Sixpence None The Richer were around, but, with "Divine Discontent", they've made a grand comeback. It's a very beautiful album and very timeless, and, through all the immense beauty, "Divine Discontent" always stays accessible. It's also a very safe album, sometimes too safe, but a band like Sixpence, who left the public conscience after "Kiss Me", can't afford risks and, even in doing so, still made a great album. Of particular note is "A Million Parachutes", the final track, a very mesmerizing and lovely song that I could listen to over and over again, as well as the very catchy first single "Breathe Your Name", the touching and deep song about tragedy, "Paralyzed" and spot-on cover of Crowded House's "Don't Dream It's Over". Guitarist Matt Slocumb is emerging as one of alternative's better songwriters with this album, and, overall, the band seems to have grown into what could be a steady force on the alt/pop circuit. The pace does drag near the end of the album, though and "Dizzy" is a little too tiring, but those are minor flaws. The most important aspect here is that Sixpence None The Richer are back, and it's glad to see them back, finally.

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Phil Collins- Testify (WWWW)

Phil Collins has always been a solid performer and, with this album, he continues that trend marvelously. It's a very beautiful, smart, touching and reflective album and one that keeps Collins in a class all by himself. In "Don't Get Me Started", Collins flies off in a rage in attacking politics, the media and terrorists, while, on another note, gets really sensitive in doing what Anne Murray couldn't do and that's give "Can't Stop Loving You" life. The best song on here, though, is "Swing Low", a very upbeat song with a hip-hop-ish musical backdrop that adds to the song's feel. However, some songs do tend to be too overdone, as Collins almost tries to "out-spirit" himself and that takes some feelings out of the songs. It's also marred by dated production in parts, and the love themes do get repetitive after a while. Still, this is a solid album from a solid performer and proves that Collins still has a lot left in his tank.

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Rascal Flatts- Melt (WWW)

Relative newcomers Rascal Flatts- bassist Jay DeMarcus, vocalist Gary Levox and guitarist Joe Don Rooney- had a lot to prove after their debut self-titled album went platinum, and, suffice to say, with "Melt", the Flatts look like they did just that. It's not exactly an overtly compelling work and sometimes is too silly, simple and incomplete ("Fallin' Upside Down", but that doesn't mean this album isn't worth it. Despite the few flaws mentioned above, the songwriting on "Melt" is excellent, featuring excellent narratives that delve deeper than quite a bit of country and a lot of the pop world outside of Michelle Branch. There's the songs about lamentation ("These Days") and on the confusion of being in a bad relationship ("My Worst Fear"), but the real standout is the cheeky, fun and joyous "Love You Out Loud", which uses the childhood essence to capture the joy of love. To be perfectly clear, the Flatts don't do all the writing- it's left to others- but on this album they did co-produce it, so it's safe to say that this still is the Flatts coming through. It also helps that Rooney is an excellent guitarist, although I do wish his solos could be longer ("These Days", "Fallin' Upside Down"). Still, the Flatts prove they'll be a force in the country world, and look like they can only get better.

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Jennifer Lopez- This Is Me…Then (W)

Where to start on this major atrocity? Well, for starters, the beats are the same all over the album, proving that the DJ didn't actually try when they worked on this album. Then there's the fact that this album is very simple and canned, not to mention that Jennifer Lopez's voice is very dry and ineffective at conveying emotions, hurtful in the album's ballads. Of course, none of it could beat "Dear Ben", a song that is horribly cliched, schlocky, boring and dull, managing to be worse than Celine Dion, O-Town, Faith Hill and Kelly Clarkson COMBINED. That must be a record. Okay, so I'll give Lopez points for "Jenny From The Block", a fun song that (fictitiously) refutes her critics, and LL Cool J's rap on "All I Have", but they're not worth much. This album belongs in the gutter, safely stowed away for many years and never brought out again, as Lopez has hit new lows for musical quality and could go unrivaled for many, many years. If I'm very, very lucky, of course.

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System Of A Down- Steal This Album! (WWW)

"Steal This Album" did two things for System Of A Down: buy them time for another album and show the world that they're just as good with their unreleased material as they are with their released material. Sure, there's not much cohesion and does resemble their previous works too much, but on an album of B-Sides and unreleased tracks, what can you expect? It's a lot of fun and hilarious- as can be expected from SOAD- again featuring smart anti-establishment songs amid the hilarity ("F*** The System"). "Mr. Jack" is three songs rolled into one ("Toxicity", "Aerials" and "Deer Dance"), showcasing SOAD's many sides in one song. The real highlight, though, is "Roulette", a touching, acoustic-laced love ballad that can work on AC radio very well (seriously), though SOAD's other love song, "Streamline", shows that they haven't mastered this yet. Other downers include "Ego Brain", which is a tad tiring, and "Chic 'N' Stu" which is too stupid even for SOAD. Still, "Steal This Album" is a great work, though don't steal it- store clerks won't be too thrilled.

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John Mayer- Room For Squares (WW)

One of the most overrated musicians in the music industry is John Mayer, the singer/songwriter who's been given heaps of praise ever since he burst into the scene back in March. However, not only is he not worth the hype, he's also not worth anything at all. He's very boring, as a lot of his songs just drag, and his limited vocal range don't help matters at all. His lyrics have all the earnestness of Tim McGraw, and songs like "Why Georgia" have been done way better before by country artists. He also loses a lot of points for "Your Body Is A Wonderland", the alternative version of most mainstream hip-hop. I'll give him this, though: he's semi-multi-talent, able to play several instruments and could be the next Phil Collins. "No Such Thing" is a great summer tune, the middle does have some life and "Back To You" is thoroughly enjoyable guitar-pop. Still, what best describes Mayer is a line in "Your Body Is A Wonderland": "you frustrate me". Enough said.

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Taproot- Welcome (WW)

Yes, Taproot have been around for some time, but do they really have to come back as an almost carbon copy of Linkin Park, minus the rapping? Not one song on here hasn't done better, and not one ounce of Taproot's work hasn't been done before. Frontman Stephen Richards' yelling gets annoying, and all the angst songs get tiring after a while. Still, "Like", the only song without yelling, is touching and somewhat deep, while "Poem" is a great song about despair and some songs do work half-decently stand-alone. Still, this generic, simple and boring band just isn't worth it at the end of the day- just like Linkin Park.

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Jennifer Love Hewitt- Barenaked (WWW)

Jennifer Love Hewitt rarely gets any respect mainly because of her role as an actor, but, with "Barenaked", she barely manages to get it. It's a fun and funky album, and shows Hewitt as a very competent lyricist. There's the title track, a great song about confusion for one, and "Avenue Of The Stars", a smart song about following your dreams (which is what Hewitt pledges her listeners to do), for another, but the real standout is "Me And Bobby McGee". In that song, there's just Hewitt's voice and a bongo drum, and it proves that Hewitt can not only sing but sing well, though the clapping at the end is unnecessary. The album does tire and get silly at times, and is very safe, but this is still enjoyable and shows that Hewitt can not only act but sing and write as well.

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Nas- God's Son (WWWWW)

After a brief spate with Jay-Z, Nas is back doing what he normally does, and that's deliver smashing rap albums that showcase him as one of the best rappers who ever lived. There's "Dance", a very touching song where Nas laments for his late mother, and songs like "Last Real N*** Alive" and "The Cross", where Nas slams commercial rap. The standout, though, is "I Can", which starts as a warning for women to keep their heads up but then ends as an uplifting message, telling all Blacks that they will all rise above racism, using history (e.g. Alexander The Great and the Punjab) as examples. "Book Of Rhymes" is hilarious, as Nas tries finding his rap book and instead gets garbage lyrics that are obviously someone else's. Also, Lake, featured on "Revolutionary Warfare", is quite smart and could be a future star. On the downer, the title will no doubt scare away some, since it's rather pompous and unsettling, while the beats sometimes do tire. Some lyrics may also be unsettling, and Nas is less effective with others- "Hey Nas" with Kelis and "Zone Out" with The Bravehearts. That track also gets dragged down another notch for The Bravehearts, who seem out to "outstreet" each other as opposed to actually rapping- just like D12 and their attempts at "outgrossing" each other. Still, "God's Son" again shows Nas as one of the music industry's best rappers and shows that he'll be a force for years to come.

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Audioslave (WWWW)

For some, the fusion of Soundgarden and Rage Against The Machine may be troubling, but the truth is Audioslave- the end result- is far from that. In fact, there's only one misstep on the entire album- first single "Cochise"- the rest of the album has all delightful hard rock songs. Chris Cornell shows himself as a great lyricist- even though his annunciation problems mean that some don't come through- while Tom Morello proves himself as both a creative and very entertaining guitarist. Plus, the third verse of "Exploder" is worth checking out, adding to already deep song. Overall, Audioslave combine the bare-essentials rock of Nickelback with the lyrical sophistication of Bruce Springsteen to great effect, and, had they cut maybe "Cochise" and half an hour off the running time (it's 70 minutes plus long), this album may be one of rock's classics. Oh well: at least they can settle for a very, very good entrance.

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-DG