Squeaky

Hoshi sat back in her chair, twirled a lock of her ponytail around her finger. "Hmm," she said at last, "that's a tough one."

"I am unsure as to why you consider that question to be 'tough,' Ensign," Dr. Phlox replied, "I merely asked you why you felt Commander Tucker figured so prominently in your vision while you were caught on the transporter."

They were in sick bay, sitting in Phlox's office. Phlox was behind his desk, PADD out as he took notes. Hoshi leaned back in a chair opposite him, one leg crossed over the other.

"I don't know," she replied, "he was down there on the planet with me. He transported first, maybe that's it?" She looked questioningly at the doctor.

"But how did you feel about your interactions with him?" Phlox said, leaning forward, "were you sad? Scared? Wondering why he couldn't see you?"

Hoshi shrugged one of her shoulders, "I was wondering why nobody could see me," she said, "not just Trip." She sighed. It was her first day off after a trying week, and sitting around with Phlox in his office, discussing her 'transporter incident' was not the way she wanted to spend it. But the Captain was worried that her hallucination would have scared her so much that she wouldn't want to transport again, so he had sent her to Dr. Phlox to talk it out. She had agreed—reluctantly—to go, because Jon was her friend as well as her Captain. She just hadn't expected Trip to figure so prominently into the conversation.

"But how did you feel?" Phlox asked again, leaning even more towards her so that Hoshi was worried he'd tumble over the desk and land in her lap, "what emotions went through your mind as you saw him?"

Hoshi twirled a bit more hair, "Um," she mused, "he looked really hot in his gym wear."

"Really," Phlox said, raising an eyebrow. He scribbled something down on his data pad.

"And I felt bad that he was so upset when he thought I had died," Hoshi continued, frowning a little as Phlox continued to write.

"Go on, go on," he said, waving his hand at her, focusing on his PADD.

"I thought it was really sweet that he wished he had let me transport back to the ship first," she paused. "That's it, really," she said, "I was more upset that no one could see or hear me, and that I couldn't tell them there were aliens trying to blow up the ship."

Phlox stopped writing. "Ahh, I see," he said, tapping the end of his stylette against his lower lip.

Hoshi looked at him, "What?"

Phlox put down the pen and steepled his fingers. "How long have you felt an attraction towards Commander Tucker?" he asked, pursing out his mouth.

"What?" Hoshi laughed, "You can't be serious!"

Phlox gave an approximation of a shrug. "Why else do you think he appeared so frequently—and so poignantly—in your vision then, Ensign?" he said, "if an underlying attraction is not the cause?"

"Poignantly!" Hoshi exclaimed, "sure, he was sad and upset when he thought I had died, and he might have been able to prevent it but -" she shook her head, "I consider him a friend, that's all."

"Are you sure?" Phlox raised an eyebrow at her.

Hoshi crossed her arms. "Sure I'm sure," she said. "Besides, I thought he liked Malcolm."

"So you have thought about the Commander's love interests then!" Phlox exclaimed, stabbing a finger into the air.

"No, I haven't!" Hoshi replied hotly. "I haven't," she said again, hearing the uncertainty in her own voice.

"Perhaps this notion requires further reflection before you dismiss it entirely," Phlox said, "it could explain a great deal of the tension you've been feeling recently. About going on away missions, and such."

"I haven't been feeling tense about away missions!" Hoshi cried, sitting up in her chair.

"You seem rather tense now," Phlox said, picking up his pen and making another note.

"Auggh!" Hoshi put her face in her hands, forcing herself to calm down. "I am not interested in Trip," she said, voice muffled by her palms, "okay?"

"Of course," Phlox agreed. Hoshi looked up at him through her fingers. He was still writing.

"I'm not, honest," she said weakly. And she wasn't, was she? She bit her lip.

"Now, about your vision of your father…" Phlox said, settling back in his chair and licking the end of his pen with the tip of his tongue, "why do you think he appeared so cold to Captain Archer?"

Hoshi sighed again and settled back in her chair. It was going to be a long morning.

***

Hoshi took a sip of her green tea, and exhaled slowly, feeling some of the stress of her session with Phlox ease out of her shoulders. She had been with the doctor almost all morning, a terrible waste of an otherwise perfectly good day off. At least he had let her go in time for second coffee break, so she was able to grab a cup of tea before the lunch hour crowd poured in. She swallowed another sip, savouring its mild flavour.

"Hey, Hoshi!" Liz said, sitting herself down opposite the Ensign, "I wasn't expecting to see you today." She eyed Hoshi critically, "why are you in your uniform?"

Hoshi smiled warmly at her friend, then grimaced. "I was forced to have a 'counselling' appointment with the doctor today," she said, "I thought I should dress the part."

"Counselling, ugh," Liz smiled, "was it helpful?" She mixed some sugar into her coffee.

Hoshi made a face, "we were meant to discuss my feelings about being stuck on the transporter pad," she said. "Instead, it turned into a conversation about my love life."

Liz raised her eyebrows as she swallowed some coffee. "Your love life?" she repeated, "what's that got to do with the price of admission on Disney Moon?"

"Exactly!" Hoshi rolled her eyes. "All that Phlox wanted to ask me about was my feelings for Trip."

"The Commander?" Liz asked. She frowned. "I thought he liked Lieutenant Reed."

"Yeah, me too," Hoshi agreed. "But Phlox thinks that the fact he figured so prominently in my hallucination shows that I have a latent interest in him, or something." She waved her hand dismissively.

"Well, do you?" Liz took another mouthful of coffee.

"Me and Trip?" Hoshi shook her head, "I've never even thought about it."

Liz looked at her knowingly. "You've thought about it."

Hoshi blushed. "No I haven't!" she insisted, "its just Phlox and his stupid questions. That's all."

"Right," Liz replied, drawing out the vowel.

"Oh, come on." Hoshi said, smacking Liz's arm lightly, "me and Trip? No way."

Liz shrugged. "He's a good looking man," she said, "not my type, but…"

"Oh yeah?" Hoshi said, pouncing on Liz's words, "and who is 'your type,' then?"

Liz blushed. "Nobody," she mumbled into her coffee.

Hoshi looked at her, evaluating. "It's not Malcolm, is it?"

Liz laughed, "No. He's way too cold."

"Really?" Hoshi asked, surprised. "But he's got this sweet air of vulnerability around him," she said, "I would've thought that would appeal to you."

Liz shook her head. "I like my men more outgoing than that."

Hoshi's eyes grew wide. "You like Travis!"

Liz's blush deepened, turning the roots of her dark-blond hair a light shade of pink. "No I don't," she said.

"Liar!" Hoshi smiled, "you like Travis!"

"Maybe a little," Liz said, intently studying the inside of her mug.

"You should ask him out," Hoshi said, leaning back in her chair.

"You should ask the Commander out!" Liz shot back.

"I'm not interested in Trip," Hoshi said, "really."

"Of course," Liz smiled knowingly.

"Shut up," Hoshi mumbled. She took another drink of her tea.

***

The afternoon was passing way too slowly. Hoshi sat in one of the lounges looking out at the stars, the new book she had downloaded untouched in her lap. She twirled her hair around her fingers, a nervous habit she only indulged in when she was off-duty. Damn Phlox and his questions! She thought. She hadn't been able to concentrate on anything but Trip since that morning.

The cushion of the couch moved as someone sat down beside her. She turned her head, pensive expression changing to a wide grin. "Hi, Travis!"

"Hi yourself," he replied, flashing his trademark smile. His teeth were very white in his mouth, a perfect contrast to the smooth darkness of his skin. Hoshi was taken aback by her observation. It must be Liz's influence, she thought to herself. She had never looked at Travis that way before her conversation with Liz that morning.

"I missed you at lunch today," Travis said, flinging his arms over the back of the couch and crossing one ankle over his knee. "Chef served poached salmon. It was delicious!"

"I ate a sandwich here," she said, gesturing at the empty tray on the end table, "I didn't know you were looking for me."

"Don't worry," Travis patted her shoulder, "I ate with the Commander and Lieutenant Reed instead." Hoshi made a face at the mention of Trip's rank, causing Travis to look at her askance. "What?" he said, "did one of them piss you off, or something?"

"It's not that," Hoshi sighed, abandoning her PADD on the table and crossing her legs beneath her, "it's just…" She sighed again, "Never mind."

Travis sat up, leaning towards her, "What's wrong, Hosh?" he asked, concern in his voice, "you can tell me."

She gave him a half-hearted smile. "It's all Phlox's fault," she said, turning to face him, "him and his stupid counselling session."

"For the transporter thing, right?"

Hoshi nodded, "Yeah, but instead of helping me out about the transporters, he just put this…thought into my head, and I can't shake it." She rubbed her temples. "It's driving me crazy."

Travis looked at her, clearly worried. "He didn't try anything funny? Did he?"

Hoshi chuckled, knowing Travis was thinking back to Phlox's strange obsession with his headache when they all had been hit by radiation from a black hole. "Don't worry. No operations on my brain or anything," she replied, "he just asked me some questions."

"So, spill," Travis said, leaning back again, "what's driving you crazy?"

"Dr. Phlox asked me if I was interested in Trip," Hoshi said, "and now I can't stop thinking about him."

"Trip?" Travis said, "I thought he was interested in Malcolm."

"That's what Liz and I said," Hoshi agreed, "but ever since this stupid conversation with Phlox, I keep thinking about him, going over all our interactions in my mind, looking for examples of attraction. Him being attracted to me, me being attracted to him-"

"No wonder you're annoyed," Travis said sympathetically, "so, what have you decided?"

"What do you mean?" Hoshi looked at him.

"Are you interested in him?" Travis asked.

"No!" Hoshi said vehemently, "he's like my older brother, or something." She bit her lip. "At least I think I think he's like my older brother…" She let herself fall forward until her forehead rested on Travis' shoulder. "Help me!" she cried, "I'm driving myself insane!"

Travis patted her back, "Poor Hoshi," he crooned, "can't accept she's got a crush on the Commander."

Hoshi shoved off of Travis. "I do not," she said, narrowing her eyes.

"Sato and Tucker, sitting in a tree," Travis sang, "K.I.S.S.I.N.G. First comes love-"

"Shut up!" Hoshi yelled, pouncing on him and tickling his ribs.

"Ow, hey!" Travis laughed, trying to grab her hands, "it's not my fault you can't deal with the truth!" Hoshi pushed him, and he landed on the floor with a yelp.

Hoshi sat back on the couch, arms crossed. "I do not have a crush on Trip," she said.

Travis raised himself up on one elbow, looking up at Hoshi from his position on the floor. "Is it Malcolm then?" he asked.

"What?" Hoshi raised one eyebrow, "does Trip have a crush on Malcolm?"

"No," Travis laughed, "do you have a crush on Malcolm?"

Hoshi rolled her eyes. "I do not have a crush on anybody, Travis," she said emphatically, "not Trip, and certainly not Malcolm."

"Whatever," Travis said, winking at her.

Hoshi snorted. "Well, I don't." She looked out the window.

"What did Liz say?" Travis said casually. He pulled himself off the floor and sat back down on the couch.

"'What did Liz say' about what?" Hoshi asked, "About Malcolm?"

"No, about you and Trip," Travis said. He looked at her sharply, "Does Liz have a crush on Malcolm?"

Hoshi eyed him, a small smile forming on her lips. "Why do you want to know?"

"No reason," Travis said too quickly.

Hoshi allowed her smile to grow wider. "You like her, don't you?"

"Of course not!" Travis said emphatically.

"You like Liz!" Hoshi poked him, grinning.

"No way!" Travis grabbed at her hands again, "you know I don't!"

"Well, I wouldn't worry about Liz running away with Malcolm any time soon," Hoshi poked Travis one more time and stood up, giving an elaborate stretch. "I have it on good authority that she likes her men more Boomerish than British," she said, winking at him. "But you didn't hear it from me." She scooped up her PADD and her empty tray, heading towards the exit. "See you later, Travis!" she called over her shoulder.

"Boomerish?" Travis called after her, "boomer? You mean me?"

Hoshi's only response was her laughter as the doors slid shut behind her.

***

It was only mid-afternoon. Too late for another cup of tea, too early for dinner. Hoshi sighed as she walked along the corridor of the ship, wondering how she could possibly entertain herself until Alpha shift was over, and she could hang out with Liz or Travis or her other friends. While the duty roster usually gave most of Alpha time off together, there were the occasional days where only a few of them had a day off while the others worked. Usually, Hoshi liked the solitude; it gave her time to catch up on her reading, or write some letters home. Today, after her disastrous conversation with Phlox, she was dying for a distraction.

An idea struck her, and she turned around, heading back towards the lift. Stepping inside, she cued it for the bridge, foot tapping impatiently as the decks passed. Finally, the doors opened, and she had to contain herself to not run onto the bridge with excitement at having found something to occupy her mind besides a tall, blond engineer.

"Ensign?" Malcolm said, looking up from his tactical station as she stepped off the lift, "I thought today was your day off?" For a split second, Hoshi allowed herself a frisson of pleasure at the sound of his accent. She would never get tired of hearing the clipped, short tones of it, just as she always enjoyed the way Trip's southern accent drew out the vowels as he spoke. She frowned, realizing that, once again, she had ended up thinking about Trip.

Hoshi waved at Malcolm as she walked by, "I just need to ask the Captain something," she said, and then, just because Travis was looking at her and had asked her if she had a crush on Malcolm, she winked at the Lieutenant. "Carry on," she said in her best officer- voice, and was strangely happy when she saw him flash her a brief smile.

"Yessir," he said. He winked back.

Malcolm had a really nice smile. It was distracting. She stumbled, caught herself against the bar of the railing.

"Are you all right?" Malcolm said immediately, his expression sweetly concerned.

"Fine," Hoshi said quickly, blushing. "Just a misstep." She smiled at T'Pol, "is the Captain in his ready room?"

"Yes," T'Pol said. She looked at Hoshi, clearly evaluating, "perhaps I should ask Mr. Tucker to inspect that deck plating for rough edges."

"Oh, no need," Hoshi said, "you don't need to get the Commander." She refused to look at Travis as she walked past his station, pretending she didn't hear his soft laughter.

***

Jon looked up from his consol when Hoshi came in, face broadening in a big smile. "To what do I owe this pleasure, Hoshi?" He waved at the chair in front of his desk, "Have a seat."

Hoshi smiled back at him, and sat, immediately crossing one leg over the other. She and Jon had known each other for a long time, and he had personally recruited her for Enterprise. She felt very comfortable in their friendship, and even though he was the Captain, she felt she could actually relax and be herself in his presence. She would never have dared to disturb him while he worked otherwise.

"I was wondering if I could take Porthos for a walk," she said.

Jon furrowed his brow, "That's an unusual request coming from you," he said, "at a loss for something to do on your day off?"

Hoshi had to smile at the accuracy of his assessment. "You could say that," she replied.

Jon leaned back in his chair; put his hands behind his head. "How'd your session with Phlox go this morning?"

Before she could stop herself, she made a face.

"That good, huh?" Jon crinkled his eyes.

"It was okay," Hoshi said with a small shrug, "he just asked me a lot of questions that I didn't think were that relevant to my feelings about the transporter."

"Oh?" Jon raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, you know," Hoshi continued, "he asked me questions about my father, things like that." She plucked an invisible thread off the knee of her uniform.

"And you didn't find it helpful?" Jon said.

Hoshi shrugged again, "I guess. Just some of the questions made me feel…uncomfortable, you know?"

It was Jon's turn to grimace. "I know. He did the same thing to me the night Porthos was sick."

"Yeah," Hoshi laughed, "and suddenly you find yourself thinking about things you never thought about before?"

"Exactly!" Jon laughed with her, "and it takes you days to get rid of those thoughts!" He smiled at her, "so what thought does he have you obsessing about, then?—If you don't mind me asking," he amended at Hoshi's expression.

"No, it's okay," Hoshi said with a small wave of her hand. She paused, looked up at the Captain. "Can I ask you something?" she said, "and you promise it won't leave this room?"

"I promise, as both your Captain and your friend; that anything said between these walls will go no further," he said solemnly, then smiled. "Shoot."

Hoshi screwed up her courage. "Do you think that-" she swallowed, tried again, "do you think that I like Trip?"

Jon looked at her, puzzled. "Are you asking if I think you and Trip get along?"

"No," Hoshi grinned at him for a moment, "I mean capital 'L', like," she said, "grade school 'like'."

"Capital 'L'?" Jon repeated, "you mean, like like?"

Hoshi sighed, relieved. "Yes, exactly."

Jon gave a small frown. "I thought you liked Malcolm."

Hoshi looked at him, surprised. "That's what Travis said."

"Why did Trip's name come up?" Jon asked, "and not Malcolm's?"

"Because Phlox asked me if I was interested in Trip, because of how often he came up in my hallucination while I was in the transporter beam." Hoshi replied, "Malcolm wasn't in it at all."

"Hmm," Jon crossed his arms, thinking. "I don't know. I've never thought about you and Trip."

"Me neither!" Hoshi exclaimed, "Until my conversation with Phlox this morning; that is."

"I mean," Jon continued, looking at Hoshi again, "I've always thought that, well…" "That Trip liked Malcolm?" Hoshi finished for him, "that's what Liz and Travis said, too." She was surprised to see Jon's jaw drop.

"Travis said that? And Liz? Liz Cutler?" Jon said, voice tight, "that Trip likes Malcolm? I thought you were going to say he was interested in T'Pol!"

"It's nothing anybody knows for sure," Hoshi said, eyes wide. She was stunned by the Captain's reaction. He looked like he was going to pass out. "They were probably joking, just making stuff up," she continued, realizing she was babbling, "I'm sure Trip is as straight as anything, a girl in every port. Two maybe!" She bit her lip.

"They think that Trip prefers men?" Jon's face was incredulous.

Hoshi raised her hands in a gesture of surrender. "He does kind of give that impression, sometimes," she said apologetically. "I thought you thought so, too."

"I never even suspected," Jon said. He leaned towards Hoshi, "do you think that it's true?"

"I don't know!" Hoshi squeaked, "It's just that he spends so much time with Malcolm, and they seem really close…" She let the sentence trail off, feeling helpless.

"I just thought that if Trip preferred men, then…I've always hoped…" Jon looked at her again. "Malcolm?" he said, "Trip likes Malcolm?"

Hoshi felt her face reflect her surprise as she suddenly understood what Jon was telling her. He looked crushed, defeated. Like he had lost all hope in the universe. Hoshi felt a sympathetic lump form in the back of her throat. "It's just speculation," Hoshi said miserably, "nobody knows for sure."

Jon rubbed his hand over his face, "Oh well," he said finally, tried to smile, "you win some, you lose some, I guess."

"I'm so sorry, Jon." She leaned forward to put her hand on his, squeezed it gently, "does he know?"

Jon shook his head. "No," he said, "I always just assumed he preferred women to men, so I never got up the guts to tell him." He gave her a morose smile. "Too late now."

"You don't know that!" Hoshi said forcefully, "you're his best friend, he-"

"-And I don't want to do anything to jeopardize that friendship," Jon interrupted her, "it's too important to me—to the ship." He shook his head again, "Trip will never know from me."

They sat in silence for a while, Hoshi desperately trying to come up with something, anything, she could say to make Jon feel better. "I'm sure he doesn't like Malcolm," she said finally, "Malcolm's too moody, too distant. Trip wouldn't like that kind of challenge."

"Maybe, maybe not," Jon smiled sadly at her, "but the Lieutenant is a good looking man. Big blue eyes, that agile, tight body…" Hoshi didn't realize she looked shocked until Jon winked at her, "Oh yeah, I've thought of it," he said. "Who hasn't?"

"I haven't," Hoshi replied primly.

"That's right," Jon chuckled, "you're too busy thinking about Trip."

"Thanks a lot!" She shot back, but she was smiling when she said it.

***

In the end, Hoshi did walk Porthos for the Captain, glad to give him a few moments to himself when he got off shift. She was still trying to digest what he had told her in the privacy of his ready room: that he was in love with Trip, and had never suspected that Trip could be available. Until she had told him—by accident—that the whole crew thought that Trip was interested in Malcolm, and had both raised and dashed Jon's hopes in a single moment.

"BaQa!" she swore softly to herself in Klingon as she walked Porthos back to the Captain's quarters. She was mad at herself for hurting Jon like that, mad that in all their years of friendship she had just assumed the Captain preferred women. It had never occurred to her that he might be pining for Trip.

Or that she might be pining for Trip, either. That was assuming Trip actually was straight, of course, and therefore available for pining, since everyone seemed convinced that Trip liked Malcolm—but what if that was wrong as well?

Hoshi mulled over the whole situation as she returned the happy little dog to his quarters just in time for the end of Alpha shift. She started walking towards the mess hall, looking forward to her standing dinner date with Travis and Liz as a way to take her mind off her troubles. A thought occurred to her and she slowed in her tracks. It was just today that she had told Travis that Liz was interested in him. Perhaps it would be best if they had dinner alone, for a change? Hoshi sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time that day, another sandwich in the lounge by herself. It didn't sound appealing.

"Hoshi?"

Hoshi stopped walking, turned around. Trip was standing just outside the doors to his quarters, the grease streaking his uniform and smeared across his face silent testimony that he had just gotten off shift. His hair was mussed, the dirt on his face making him look boyish and endearing. She had never noticed how blue his eyes were before, a warm blue, nothing at all like Malcolm's storm-coloured eyes.

"Hi, Commander," she said, "I was just heading towards the mess hall," a strange recklessness overtook her, "care to join me?"

Trip smiled, showing even, white teeth. Why had she never seen how gorgeous this man's smile was? No wonder the Captain was smitten. "You've caught me on a good night, Hosh," he said, "Cap'n's just cancelled our dinner." He keyed open his door and gestured towards it, "I need to get changed first, clean up a bit. You can wait for me in here, if you like."

"Thanks," she said, coolly stepping inside his quarters as if she always hung out in the cabins of her superior officers—her superior male officers. Once inside, she allowed herself the luxury of a good look around. They were as spacious as she had always suspected, with a stunning view of the stars. It was much neater than she had thought, and she had never even considered that he might own an antique diving helmet, or a harmonica. She went over to it, touching it gently with one finger. "You play?" she asked arching up one eyebrow.

He blushed, "A little," he replied, cleared his throat. "Take a seat," he said, indicating the desk chair, "I won't be long." Grabbing a clean uniform from the closet, he ducked inside his bathroom, closing the door behind him. She could hear the sound of running water.

She sat down on the chair, exploring the room with her eyes. After a moment she realized that, except for the harmonica, the diving helmet, and a few PADDs scattered on his desk, there was really nothing to see. He had some frames attached to the bulkhead by his desk that rotated a few photos, and she leaned over to look at them. There were pictures of Trip, standing with arms around several other tall, blond people whom she assumed were the rest of the Tucker clan. There was some from his academy days; a few from their recent shore leave, a few with the Captain, arms around each other's shoulders. She felt a small twinge of sadness inside as she looked at the picture before it flashed away. They would make such a great couple, and Trip didn't even know Jon was yearning for him.

"Found my pictures, did ya?" Trip said, returning from the bathroom. He was wearing a clean uniform, all evidence of dirt gone from his face, hair neatly combed.

"They're really nice," Hoshi said, smiling. She pointed at the picture of all the blonds. "These your family?"

Trip grinned. "Only a small part, actually," he said. "That's just my ma and pa and two sisters. The Tucker clan is much bigger than that."

"Your sisters are very pretty," Hoshi said.

"They look just like me." Trip teased. He checked the chronometer strapped to his wrist. "We should get goin'," he said, "once the Cap'n said I was free for tonight, I told Malcolm I'd meet him for dinner."

Had everyone been right, all along? Hoshi felt herself blushing. "I'm so sorry," she said, "I didn't mean to intrude."

Trip looked at her, "you won't," he said, "it's just me an' Malcolm."

"Yes, but," Hoshi stammered, "it must be rare for you to get time alone with him, I don't want to interrupt."

Trip looked questioningly at her, "I see Malcolm plenty," he said slowly, "you ain't interruptin'."

Oh great, Hoshi thought to herself, first I break the Captain's heart by telling him Trip likes Malcolm, and then I ruin Trip's chance to be alone with him! She put her hands on her hips. There was no way she was going to ruin another man's chance at happiness. "No, Trip," she said firmly, "I know you're too much of a gentleman to tell me to 'get lost,' but I know that you want time alone with Malcolm. Don't worry about me," she said, "go eat with Malcolm. Have fun."

Trip looked startled. "I want to have 'time alone with Malcolm'?" he repeated, "what?"

"You don't need to pretend with me, Trip," Hoshi gave him her warmest smile, "I know you're interested in Malcolm," she said, "I want you to have the chance to be alone with him."

Trip looked even more surprised. "I'm 'interested in Malcolm?'" he parroted. Then his eyes narrowed dangerously. "Who told you that?"

Hoshi took a step back, "It's just, we just thought-"

Trip cut her off, "-y'all? How many are we talkin' here?"

Hoshi swallowed. "Everyone knows you like Malcolm, Trip," she said carefully, "ask anyone."

"God damn!" he swore, "How the hell do these rumours get started?" Hoshi opened her mouth to respond when he cut her off. "Don't answer that," he said, putting up his hand, "I don't wanna know." He started pacing, "Everyone knows?" he asked. Hoshi nodded, afraid to speak. "Travis?" Hoshi nodded again, wincing inwardly as she saw the blood rush away from his face. He sat heavily on his bed. "Oh no," Trip breathed, covering his mouth with his hands.

"I don't think it's that bad," Hoshi tried to sound reassuring, "we all think you and Malcolm would make a great couple-"

Trip pinned her with his eyes, and she closed her mouth. "Does the Cap'n think this, too?"

"Yes," Hoshi replied uncertainly, "but like I said-"

Trip put his face in his hands, "Jon thinks I like Malcolm?" he whispered, "Malcolm?"

"You don't like him?" Hoshi said; voice unnaturally high.

"You're the one with the crush on Malcolm!" Trip cried, taking his hands away from his face, "Not me!"

A terrible sense of déjà vu overcame her, and she felt her heart thumping in her chest. "You don't," she paused, tried again, "you don't perhaps, like the Captain, do you?" she said, panicked.

"Of course I do!" Trip stood, began pacing the room. "I've liked the Cap'n since, since forever!" he shouted. "I've been waitin' for the right time to tell him, waitin' for-" He raked his hand through his hair. "He thinks I like Malcolm?" he said again, disbelieving, "now he'll never believe me, that it's him I want." He pressed his hand over his mouth again, staring at the floor.

"Uh, Trip?" Hoshi said. Her throat was so tight she could barely speak as the enormity of her mistake reared up to meet her. She had told the Captain that Trip liked Malcolm, had told Trip that the Captain knew. Now, unless she purposely broke Jon's confidence, they would never learn the truth. This is all Phlox's fault, she thought fiercely. She wished he could be there to clean up this mess. Trip didn't look at her. "Trip?" she tried again, already hating herself for what she was going to do.

"Malcolm?" Trip was murmuring to himself, "he thinks I like Malcolm?"

"Trip!" Hoshi shouted. Finally, he looked up from the floor.

"Y'got more bad news to tell me?" he sighed.

She took a deep breath. "The Captain's in love with you," she blurted. "He told me today."

Trip narrowed his eyes again, "What?"

"I said," Hoshi repeated, feeling a small flare of annoyance, "that Jon is in love with you. He told me today, in his ready room."

"Jon is in love with me?" Trip echoed, two spots of colour appearing on his cheeks.

"Yes!" Hoshi exclaimed, the mortification of her mistake beginning to drop away under Trip's disbelief, "I was in his ready room, talking about you coincidently, and he told me that he's in love with you!" She crossed her arms, "Understand?"

A smile broke across Trip's features, "Really?"

"Really," Hoshi agreed, feeling an answering smile curve up her lips, "swear to God."

"Jon's in love with me?" Trip said again, "I'll be damned."

Hoshi rolled her eyes, "Trip!" she said, stamping her foot to get his attention, "Jon told me that today. He told me that in private," she emphasized, waiting for Trip to nod his comprehension before she continued, "I'm sure that you're going to go find him and talk about this—as well you should."

"I need to find him, now!" Trip said, turning towards the door.

"Wait!" Hoshi hollered. Trip turned back, looking at her. "Trip," she said, trying hard to sound more patient then she felt, "if you tell Jon it was me who told you, if you breathe a word about it to him-"

Trip held up his hand to stop her speaking. "Tell ya what," he said, grinning, "I'll tell you somethin' you're not 'sposed to know either, 'kay?"

She narrowed her eyes, "Okay."

"Malcolm's got a crush on you," Trip grinned widely, "that's why I said you could come to dinner with us. So he could spend some more time with you." He laughed, "Don't tell him I told you, he'll kill me."

Hoshi felt her mouth fall open. She was stunned, floored, amazed. "Malcolm likes me?" she whispered.

"Capital 'L' like!" Trip smiled at her, ushering her towards the door. He keyed it open, and gently pulled her into the hallway since was still too astonished to move on her own. "Now, I gotta go see the Cap'n," he said, "do you mind tellin' Malcolm why I won't be there for dinner tonight?" Hoshi nodded dumbly, only realizing what Trip had actually asked her after he had jogged down the corridor and out of sight.

***

Hoshi stood at the doors of the mess hall, took a deep breath. Her mind was still whirling with the events of the day: That her two best friends were attracted to each other; that the Captain was in love with his Commander.

That Malcolm had a crush on her, and she just might have one back. It certainly had been eventful for a day off, and she decided she didn't like the stress. Straightening her shoulders, she walked through the doors, trying to project a cool, calm exterior. Inside, she was quaking, her stomach a jumble of knots tied around butterflies who were desperate to escape. She hoped Malcolm wouldn't really expect her to eat.

It only took her a second to find him.

He was sitting by himself at a table set up for two, casually checking his wrist chronometer. His brow was slightly furrowed, his lips set in a small frown, most likely caused by Trip's late arrival. He looked annoyed, put out, completely adorable. Why had she never noticed how well he filled out his uniform before? How broad his shoulders were, how muscular his arms, his chest? The Captain was right; he was a good looking man.

Hoshi approached the table, stood beside the empty seat waiting for Malcolm to look up. She continued to study him: his fantastic cheekbones, his sexy mouth, the incredible length of his lashes. She licked her lips, nervous.

He looked up, his frown immediately replaced by a wide smile. "Hoshi," he said, "how nice to see you." He got up from his seat.

"Hi," Hoshi said, feeling giddy and stupid at the same time, "Trip said I would find you here."

Malcolm's expression darkened briefly, resumed its usual cryptic expression. "You were with Trip," he said, "of course." He gave her his characteristic half-smile, "I hope you know why he's stood me up?"

Hoshi felt her own smile falter. Had everyone got it wrong? Did Malcolm actually like Trip instead of the other way around? "He had to go see the Captain," she said, a strange combination of shame and annoyance welling up inside her, "he sends his regrets."

"The Captain, eh?" Malcolm said. He quirked an enigmatic smile; gestured at the empty seat. "Well, since you're here Ensign, would you care to join me for dinner? I seem to be in the possession of an extra chair." Hoshi tried to hide her disappointment. Not exactly the invitation she had expected from a man who had a crush on her.

Hoshi stole a quick glance around the mess hall, trying to see if she could escape this disaster with her ego intact. Travis and Liz were sequestered in a corner, leaning so close together that their foreheads were nearly touching. Liz was laughing about something, and Travis gently tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear, his gaze never leaving hers. Everything about them was like a giant 'do not disturb' sign. Unless she really wanted to grab a sandwich and eat by herself, she would have to take Malcolm up on his distinctly un-romantic offer. "Okay," she sighed, trying to communicate that she was agreeing only because she didn't have a better option right at the moment, "but I can't stay long."

"Certainly," Malcolm said, coming over to pull her chair out for her, "I'm sure Trip will be waiting for you after his meeting with the Captain." He gestured towards the food line-up, "what may I get for you?"

Hoshi gaped at the Lieutenant. "What did you say?" she said, eyes wide.

"I asked you what I could get you for dinner," he repeated, looking at her strangely.

Hoshi stood up, moved to stand closer to him. "No," she said, heart thudding hard in her chest, "not the part about dinner, before that. About Trip."

Malcolm narrowed his eyes slightly. His incredibly clear, smoky-blue eyes, and for a moment, Hoshi wondered if they would darken to blue, or lighten to grey after she kissed him. "I said that I was sure that Trip would be waiting for you after his meeting," he said again, looking at her expectantly.

Hoshi smiled at him with her eyes. "Now, why would you assume something like that?" she said.

"Because you and the Commander are somewhat of an item," Malcolm said stiffly, "everyone knows about it."

Hoshi laughed out loud. "No we're not!" she gasped, wiping tears from her eyes, "everyone thinks that Trip likes you!"

"Me?" Malcolm gave a small chuckle, "I hardly think so. I'm not exactly his type."

Hoshi grinned. "You'd be surprised."

Malcolm raised one eyebrow, looked at her quizzically.

Hoshi leaned towards him to whisper in his ear. She closed her eyes; he smelled wonderful. "Actually, that's what his meeting with the Captain is about."

Malcolm drew back from her, cleared his throat. "Well, that's an interesting turn of events," he said, clearly surprised, "I had no idea." He caught her gaze. "I hope you're not too disappointed," he said softly.

Hoshi shook her head, "I was never interested in Trip," she said, smiling. No matter what Phlox might think, she knew that was the truth. She reached out, touched the back of Malcolm's hand with two of her fingers, letting them rest there. "Actually," she said slowly, looking deep into his eyes, "I like you."

He blushed, swallowed. She felt his fingers intertwine with hers. "I like you, too," he said finally, a small smile touching his lips.

She gave his hand a brief squeeze before letting go. She knew he would want to keep this their secret, at least for a while, anyway. She smiled at him, biting her lip. "Care to talk about it further, over dinner?"

His eyes crinkled, "Yes." Once again he pulled out her chair and she sat, feeling like a princess who had just found her prince in a land of frogs.

She decided that today had been a good day, after all.