'EAST IS EAST'
First impression : They gave me a flier in the lobby. It won some serious awards. It's got some serious critics backing it up.
Second impression : I laughed at the preview. It was clever. I'm grilling it over...
Final thoughts :  But do British people really count?
But, will I see it? : Yes. I'll make myself really depressed before hand so I need to laugh and be cheered up by the time it starts.
eventual grade: C-

'EAST-WEST'
First impression : I'm always intrigued when a film is nominated for an Oscar and then comes out.
Second impression : The intrigue fades as the trailer recounts the stars - from all walks of life - and their participation in other Acaddemy Award nominated foreign language films. Does that strike anyone else as odd? The star of 'Le Promesse' in a film with the guy from 'Burnt by the Sun' and the guy from 'Prisoner of the Mountains' and Catherine Denueve. Sounds like a scam.
Final Thoughts : I get hard at the thought of subtitles, most times.
But, will I see it? : Your guess is as good as mine.

'FREQUENCY'
First impression : Jim Caveziel, who played the beautiful Private Witt in 'The Thin Red Line'.
Second impression : Dennis Quaid, not great since 1993's 'Flesh and Bone'.
Final thoughts : What a dumbass premise. Though I said the same thing about the trailer for 'The Sixth Sense', my mother reminded me.
But, will I see it? : The Jury seems to be out  - to lunch - in another country.
Eventual grade: B

'HELD UP'
First impression : Jamie Foxx is being held up in a convenience store and is the only black guy there.
Second impression : This is familiar.
Final Thoughts : I'm not laughing. In fact, I'm shuddering.
But, will I see it? : You  must think me a racist, having passed on 'Love and Basketball' and 'Held Up' - but, let's face it, they're no-brainers. I can't help it if they are considered 'black films'. If I were a black guy, I'd be insulted.

'HOLLOW MAN'
First impression : Elizabeth Shue? Invisibility and Special Effects?
Second impression : Elizabeth Shue and Special Effects? (read : 'The Saint' - no!)
Final Thoughts : 'Memoirs of an Invisible Man' w/ digital rendering capabilities.
But, will I see it? : Who cares. I don't know. Leave me alone. Fine. Maybe. I don't know.
Eventual grade: D+

'JOE GOULD'S SECRET'
First impression : Stanley Tucci has an accent. That's Good.
Second impression : I can't figure out what in the hell this film is going to be about. That's Bad. (Now, wait! That's good)
Final thoughts : Nice Cast - Sarandon, Hope Davis, Ian Holm, et all.
But, will I see it? : 5 words : 'The Imposters' and 'Big Night'.
Eventual grade: D+

''LOVE AND BASKETBALL'
First impression : Blow me.
Second impression : Gag me.
Final thoughts : Are you kidding - they grow up together and love basketball and then have to choose between the sport and their love. Blow me and Gag me.
But, will I see it? : Three Guesses and the first four don't count.
Eventual gag: B

'NOT OF THIS WORLD'
First impression : The Announcer told me I'd never forget it. I've already forgotten most of the trailer.
Second impression : Always a pleasure to see a trailer for an Italian movie preceeded by 45 seconds of 'Film Festival' title cards. Even more fun to hear an American voice-over narrator sappily (and probably mis-leadingly) telling me the story of the film.
Final thoughts : Benigni better be working on something. Seriously.
But, will I see it? : Outlook not so good. (shakes 8-ball again) Outlook not so good.

'THE PATRIOT' (teaser)
First impression : The same as everyone's : 'Braveheart' resurrected to fight in the American Revolution.
Second impression : Where there really digital effects back then?
Final Thoughts : Eh. Mel said it was a small movie. Could be good. The last two of his films were wisely guilty-pleasures rather than melodramatic straight-man flicks.
But, will I see it? : Yeah. I'll see it. You happy now?
Eventual graade: B

'TIME CODE'
First impression : Mike Figgis. Leaving Las Vegas. Stop.
Second impression : Four separate video images, cutting edge - great looking stuff.
Final thoughts :  It looks so damned innovative - how can this film lose? (A: see : 'One Night Stand')
But, will I see it? : I'm already in line.
Eventual grade: B+

'UP AT THE VILLA'
First impression : It looks like Howard's End meets I Know What You Did Last Summer.
Second impression : Sean Penn has a cut on his face. I bet Kristin Scott-Thomas gets naked.
Final thoughts : Director of Angels and Insects, Masterpiece theater appeal (brought to you my Mobil or Exxon or whichever gas station sponsers them - as odd as Tonka making Barbies) and the indispensible "Academy Award Nominee" sale in the trailer.
But, will I see it? : Yeah, I guess.

'THE VIRGIN SUICIDES'
First impression : This trailer is so cool, even the movie can't mess it up.
Second impression : Music by 'Air'. Potent imagery. James Woods. A boy smelling lipstick. A girl hanging out of a car, dead from Carbon Monoxide poisoning, a cigarette smoldering in her hand. Again, cool music. Kirstin Dunst winks at us.
Final thoughts : Sofia Coppola - daughter of Francis Ford, girlfriend of Spike Jonze and former star of 'The Godfather III'. Oops, one too far.
But, will I see it? : You bet your sweet ass I will.
Eventual grade: A

'WHERE THE MONEY IS'
First impression : That badass music, jump-cut fever and ?words on the screen?. This is propoganda.
Second impression : If Paul Newman is playing a former bank robber who is pretending to be an invalid - and then teams up with Linda Fiorentiino ('The Last Seduction' and to a lesser extent, 'Men in Black') to commit another robbery - do they really need to SELL it to me?
Final thoughts : I hope it's more than mediocre. I hope it's not just another heist pic.
But, will I see it? : Yes. But only because the preview was so cool. (no, really!)
Eventual grade: C

'The Big Kahuna'
First impression : Kevin Spacey and Danny DeVito as salesman. What's your first impression, huh?
Second impression : They've got that young kid under their wings' - I've seen that before.
Final thoughts : Big splash on the film festival circuit. And it's got Kevin Spacey in it.
But, will I see it? : If not at the Phila. Festival of World Cinema - then at a multiplex. Hurray!
Eventual grade: B

'Gladiator'
First impression : Jeffery Wigand meets Bud White - in an arena run by the sleazy pervert from both '8mm' and 'Clay Pigeons'.
Second impression : Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott. And a budget. And the imagery. My God the imagery!
Final thoughts : Summer Crap? Maybe...
But, will I see it? : Yeah. Who's going to stop me?
Eventual grade: B-

'Shadow of the Vampire'
First impression : John Malkovich and Willem DeFoe and F.W. Murnau and Max Shreck, respectively. Sign me up now. Now!
Second impression : I'm excited.
Final thoughts : Alright - Malkovich is overacting! I don't evenn recognize DeFoe! Alright!
But, will I see it? : Now, what do you think?
Eventual grade: C+

'U-571'
First impression : Matthew McGonna-get-that-ass in another faux-historical epic. I did NOT like him in 'Amistad'.
Second impression : More action than book-learnin'. And the Harvey Keitel lip-CU, him saying 'Mary, mother of God' - - that doesn't hurt.
Final thoughts : Submarines? Where have I seen them before? Oh yeah - in a dozen films.
But, will I see it? : Yep. Already have plans. It's the younger-brother-birthday-free-for-all flick (former recepients of this prize include 'Volcano' and 'Lost in Space').
Eventual grade: C-

X-Men
First impression : Looks like less a dumb summer cartoon-action movie than a movie with a, gulp, script.
Second impression : Nice imagery. I'm surprised up the ass all over.
Final thoughts : Still. They're fighting an awful lot in this trailer.
But, will I see it? : Yep. Along with all of the rest of you.
Eventual grade: B