An Affair of Love
A distinct romance
So unlike its standard that it
thrills one’s pants clear off.

Being There
One Hundred Twenty
some odd minutes of middling.
Smashing final shot.

Boogie Nights with Commentary
PT is funny
but, frankly, I can’t bear this
cheerless film again.

Far From Heaven
Scandalous highbrow
subtext-fest: Watercolor
style execution.

Funny Games
The director would
likely be tickled if you were
to leave in protest.

Fury
Makes anger look as
if it could cause a man to just
physically explode.

Grand Prix
Melodrama out
The wazoo; but the racing
Footage is so cool.

Kiki's Delivery Service
Excessive use of
the word dirigible only makes
this movie cooler.

The Knack...and How to Get It
Try to imagine
pun upon pun entertaining
the hell out of you.

Lady for a Day
Too goody-goody -
plus all I recall is an
old hag with apples.

The Locket
So soapy even
Mitchum can’t save it. (C’mon:
Window suicides?)

McCabe & Mrs. Miller
A hyperbole:
This is the best film Altman
has ever produced.

The Merry Widow
I don’t even remember seeing this film.
Seriously.
Add that to the Lubitsch list, while you’re at it.
(Note: Stop trying to map out the syllables - this is not a haiku).

Modesty Blaise
Seen at the tacky
Egyptian theater which
seems just about right.

(Modesty Blaise Reminds me of David Cross’s NYC dilemma:
“Do I look at the most beautiful woman in the world
or the weirdest guy in the world?”)

Monsieur Hire
Voyeurism and
Michael Nyman’s score; these two
Also no bad scenes.

My Life to Live
Seemed a bit dry then,
BUT - I feel like I wore a
lesser set of eyes.

My Neighbor Totoro
The very picture
of children with eyes like saucers
and healing smiles.

Ordinary People
Maybe I’m just a
sucker For good hard family
strife (and Judd Hirsh, too).

Papillon
A fascinating
prison film – I wonder why
No one speaks the French ?

Presumed Innocent
D.A. Sabich’s
nickname covers the film’s twist:
Rusty when viewed now.

Pauline at the Beach
An affair of Pure
Rohmer: byzantine, drab sex and
Talk talk talk talk talk.

Repo Man
Perhaps Alex Cox
Didn’t heard when Bud suggested
Leaving the first hood.

Seconds
Eerie first person
perspective so close we can
almost feel Rock’s pulse.

The Seven Year Itch
Clever fable re:
squirming male-bug on a sharp
Fidelity pin.

She Done Him Wrong
But Mae West, on whose
play this is based, did it so
mmm-mmm-good (and right).

Shoot the Piano Player
Sheer pleasure of the
dialogue - and pulp that is
practically oozing.

Sixteen Candles
The same dilemma
for me always: who’s hotter -
Jake or farmer ted?

Some Like It Hot
Avoid distraction:
Masturbate before viewing;
(It’s uproarious).

The Student Prince at Old Heidelberg
And someday I can
brag about seeing all of the
films of Ernest Lubitsch.

That Uncertain Feeling
I’m a sucker for
Quick, precise comic timing and
Divorce as an art.

Walkabout
Existentialist
Jump Cut Porn, oh please mommy can
I have s’more, please?

While the City Sleeps
Fritz Lang super-noir:
(Better, though, than Beyond
a Reasonable Doubt).

Wild Strawberries
Another boring
Bergman flick essential to
Peak film snobbery.

[What's left?

I Love you Alice B. Toklas., The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, Kwaidan, La Notte and The Parallex View]