* Almost all the material in this list may be found in the Jewish National and University Library at Givat Ram, Jerusalem.
* In addition, that material which is in text format, can be found on the Internet at www.geocities.com/chaimsimons
* Unless otherwise stated, the material is in English.
Introduction
· * Put it on Paper!
Chapter 1: UNIVERSITY CULMINATING IN A DOCTORAL DEGREE
· * Nuclear Magnetic Resonance Studies of Liquid Mixtures
· * Evaluations of Audio-Visual Aids in Jewish Religious Knowledge
Chapter 2 TRANSFER OF ARABS FROM ERETZ ISRAEL
· * International Proposals to Transfer Arabs from Palestine 1895-1947
· * Supplement No. 1 to above Book
· * Edward Norman’s Plan to Transfer Arabs from Palestine to Iraq
· * Herzl to Eden
· * Supplement No. 1 to above book
· * A Historical Survey of Proposals to Transfer Arabs from Palestine 1895 -1947
· * Transfer – History and Dilemma
· * Documents on Proposals to Transfer Arabs from Palestine
· * Transferology
Chapter 3: PUPILS WORKBOOKS
IN HEBREW
· * How to Calculate the Calendar.
· * What is Chametz?
· * When do we read two Parashiot on one Shabbat?
· * Identification of the Shofar and the Sounds of a Shofar
· * Identification of the Arba’at Haminim
· * Identification of Kosher and non-Kosher Animals
· * Identification of Kosher and non-Kosher Fish
· * Identification of Kosher and non-Kosher Birds
· * My Home-Town, Kiryat Arba-Hebron : Purim
· * Tekiah Gedolah (Rosh Hashanah)
· * Ushpizin (Sukkot)
· * Shemen U-petilot (Chanukah)
· * Venahafoch Hu (Purim)
· * Kasher LePesach (Pesach)
Chapter 4 : TORAH RESEARCH PAPERS
IN HEBREW
· * Reading of the Torah on Shemini Atzeret (Simchat Torah) in Eretz Israel
· * Differences between Eretz Israel and the Diaspora in the Reading of the Parashiot
· * Reasons for the Fast of Ninth of Tevet
· * Is the Passage ‘Days when one fasts’ the Final Chapter of Megillat Ta’anit?
· * Pilgrimages to the Graves of Tzadikim during the Month of Iyar
· * Date for the Commencement in the Diaspora of the Prayer requesting Rain
· * Eating of Cheese and ‘Levivot’ on Chanukah
· * The connection between the Molad and the time for Kiddush Levanah
· * Reading the Megillot Shir Hashirim, Rut, Eichah and Kohelet
· * The Mitzvot of Purim in a City whose Walled status is in Doubt
· * ‘Divrei Chamishah’ on subjects in Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim
.* Dicephalus Siamese Twins – aspects in Jewish Law
Chapter 5 : MY GRANDFATHER’S FAMILY FROM PRZEDECZ
· * The Zielinski Family of Przedecz
· * Supplement No. 1 to above
Chapter 6 : DR. BARUCH GOLDSTEIN
· * A Scholarly Study of Dr. Baruch Goldstein’s Act in the Cave of Machpelah
· * A Study of Dr. Baruch Goldstein’s Act in the Cave of Machpelah, according to
Material in the Possession of the Shamgar Commission
· * Did or did not Dr. Baruch Goldstein Massacre 29 Arabs? [ALSO IN HEBREW]
Chapter 7 : THE FIRST SOJOURN IN THE PARK HOTEL HEBRON
.* The First Shabbat Spent by Civilians in Hebron after the Six Day War
Chapter 8 : REMINISCENCES ON REMINISCENCE
· * My Fight for Yiddishkeit
· * Teach Them Torah
· * Amendments to Teach Them Torah
· * Jewish-Orientated Public Examinations in Britain
· * How to Answer Anti-Israel Propaganda
· * Jewish Education in a Secondary School
· * Just as Relevant Today!
· * Reminiscences of a Director of Religious Studies in the Diaspora - with
Relevant Lessons for Today [IN HEBREW]
· * Three Years in a Military Compound
· * Seven Years at Carmel College
Chapter 9 ; ARTICLES AND LETTERS
· * Chelm or Israel?
· * The two alternatives: Liquidation of Israel or Transfer of Arabs
· * Eretz Israel is Ours
· * ‘Geneva Accord’ - Alternative Version
· * Articles and Letters
Chapter 10 : “JUST WILLIAM” AND THE JEWS
.* Richmal Crompton’s “Just William” and the Jews
Chapter 11 : MY MOTHER’S COOKERY BOOK
EDITED BY CHAIM SIMONS
· * Sally Simons’ Kosher Cookery Book
Written about 1967 – in a strictly humorous vein!
by C. Simons
Most leading modern NMR experts (1) now consider that the previously suggested theory to explain NMR signals is incorrect. In this paper, a new theory based on the author’s experimental observations is put forward.
Theory
NMR signals arise from the presence of the bacteria “golliwog” in the samples under observation. The application of a potential difference of one million volts across the samples will kill off these bacteria leading to cessation of the observed signals.(2) In the absence of a magnetic field, the golliwogs will move in a random direction. However, the application of a magnetic field will cause the golliwogs to move in a more ordered motion resembling that of a table-tennis ball.(3)
It is thus obvious that this ordered motion will give rise to NMR signals.
The positions of these signals can easily be calculated using the results of Fudge.(4) These calculations show that
Where P is the position of the signals measured from an unspecified reference, v the root-mean-square velocity of the golliwogs and k the Purim constant.(5)
It is of no importance whatsoever whether measurements are made from an internal or external reference, since in the opinion of the author, bulk susceptibility corrections are a lot of nonsense.
The previously explained NMR properties can be re-explained in terms of this theory as follows:
Chemical Shift
Different chemical groups exert the property of “bacteriological attraction” (6) to different extents. These groups will hence retard the golliwogs to different extents, thus slowing down their velocity. Hence from equation 1, the signal positions of different chemical groups will be different.
Spin-Spin Coupling
This phenomenon cannot be explained on this theory. Hence it doesn’t really exist. It is in fact due to the NMR spectrometer not behaving properly. (7)
Relaxation
The golliwogs which are in a continuous precession sometimes get tired. They hence take time off to relax.(8)
Conclusion
It can thus be seen that this theory has (in the opinion of the author) explained the existence of the NMR phenomena most conclusively.
The author expresses his deep gratitude to the Krazy Foundation who replaced the twelve NMR spectrometers wrecked by him in the course of his experiments
(1) Simons C., Simons C. and Simons C., Zeitschrift fur Trasche und Rubbische 1966 92 416.
(2) Professor Nosey who questioned the validity of this observation attempted a verification. A slight mishap abruptly terminated this verification. R.I.P.
(3) Ping Pong. Chinese Journal of Table-Tennis 1936 42 11942 (with abstract in Swahili)
(4) Fudge. “Factors in Chemistry” Published by The Cooking Co., Inc. 1942.
(5) This constant is named after Professor Purim, who was Professor of Criminal Chemistry at the Shoeshine University, Persia.
(6) The author regrets that he has mislaid the reference concerning this property, but he assures the readers that it really does exist.
(7) Based on the maxim: "Electronic apparatus always goes wrong."
(8) c.f. "The Case for Tea-Breaks," published by Schmaltz-Herring Picklers Union, 1958.