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Formal Dining Etiquette. Now who made all these rules?? Oh well, love them or loathe them, here are some of the tricks of the trade. 

Q1. Should a man pull a woman's chair out for her before she sits? 

It depends on where you are. If you are on a date in a nice restaurant, sure. However at a decent restaurant, the person who seats the couple will probably pull the chair out for her, so you have nothing to worry about. At home, it is good manners to pull the seat out for her.

Q2. When should you take your seat?

If you are a guest at someone's house or your dinner function has an appointed host, do not sit until the host sits first. (Unless the host says otherwise) The basic rule is never do anything until the host does it first. Take your napkin and place it in your lap right away when you sit down.

Q3. What are the rules for eating bread?

Once the bread arrives at the table you can help yourself. (You may wish to let the host choose first) Take some butter, and put it on your plate, not on the bread. Now you have your own little pile of butter and won't need constant top ups from the communal butter dish. Another rule, is you should break the bread into  portions with your hands rather than cut it. Butter a portion and eat immediately.

Q4. What cutlery should be used for what serving?

The general rule is to work from the outside, in. This is the order the various courses should arrive. The only exceptions may be the bread & butter knife may be placed on the side plate, and the desert fork/spoon may be placed above the dinner setting. If in doubt see what everyone else is doing, if it looks like they also don't know what to use, guess.

Q5. What should I do with used cutlery?

Once a utensil is used for a course, say goodbye to it. Leave the utensil/s on the plate at all times and the waiter will remove them.

HINT Do not let any utensils once used, ever touch the table.

Q6. What are the rules for eating?

The only rule should be place the food in the mouth, chew, and swallow. Easy. But alas we have a few other rules as well. Always sit straight up in your chair (good posture has never hurt anyone), do not lean backwards, nor forwards (well as much as humanly possible anyway). When eating, do not lean your face toward the plate, but bring the utensil to you. Don't  let your elbows touch the table, however putting your hands on the table is acceptable. Oh by the way, chew with your mouth closed and don't talk with your mouth full. (Say thanks mum)

Q7. What are the rules for eating soup?

Do not put the entire soup spoon in your mouth. Good etiquette dictates you should fill your soup spoon to about three quarters, bring it up to your mouth, and sip it from the side. Minimise slurping  and bowl clanging as much as possible. When your soup bowl is nearly empty, you may tip your bowl so that you can capture the last bits of soup. Try to do this no more than twice. Of course bowl licking is forbidden.

Q8. Someone has asked me to pass them something, what should I do?

The usual approach is to feign ignorance and hopefully the person next to you will assist them. However do not fear the rules are simple. Reach for the item if you are the closest and place it directly next to your neighbour. The item will continue passing around the table until it has reached the original requester. Under no circumstances should you help yourself to the item on its way around. (naughty, naughty).

TIP  If someone asks you to pass the salt (or pepper), pass both in the same manner as described above.

Q9. What are the rules for using the napkin?

The simple rule is to use the napkin to blot your mouth only. Do not  use the napkin in  a wiping motion over your face. 

Q10. When can I use my fingers?

There are certain Finger Foods served as appetizers that can be eaten with your fingers, however if in doubt  just use a utensil

Q11. What do you do with your tie when you eat?

Nothing, let the tie hang naturally.  Do not put it over your shoulder.

Q12. What should I do when my meal is finished?

Place your knife and fork on the plate so that they are parallel to each other. When the last course is finished place your napkin next to your plate on the table, but not until everyone has finished eating and drinking. If you are resting between bites and have not finished your course, leave the cutlery in the X (crossover) position. 

Tip If you need to leave the table it is common courtesy to excuse yourself from immediate company.

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