OS/2 Chicken:
Starts to cross the road then stops in the middle for no reason and explodes.

Win 95 Chicken:
You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like... chicken.

Microsoft Chicken (TM):
It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

OOP Chicken:
It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

Assembler Chicken:
First it builds the road...

C Chicken:
It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken:
The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.

VB Chicken:
Highway! TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

Delphi Chicken:
The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Oracle Chicken:
The chicken is big, fast and can carry many eggs across the road, but you have to logon before it will do anything.

Java Chicken:
If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets)

Web Chicken:
Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Gopher Chicken:
Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Newton Chicken:
Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!

Cray Chicken:
Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

Quantum Logic Chicken:
The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of he road until you observe it on the side of your course.

Lotus Chicken:
Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

Mac Chicken:
No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

COBOL Chicken:
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE ELSE