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Item: Chemical Analysis
Molecule: MAN
Formula: Ma(CHO)2
Discovered: Eve.
Date: end of paradise era
Inertial Mass: Increases monotonically with time,
and abruptly in the presence of a sofa and a TV set.
Concentration: Abundant in the wrong isotope, scarse otherwise.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Center of mass moves forward with oxidation of beer and hamburgers.
2. Critical Point: somewhat below the center of mass.
3. Sublimation Point: same as critical point.
4. Attracted by any kind of field (i.e. football)
5. Turns balistic if his team looses and relativistic if food
is cold.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Affinity for weak electrostatic bonds. Can make covalent bonds
by the process of weddization.
2. Resistivity: high for any activity, except sublimation.
3. Diffusion: irreversible and anysotropic; hair diffuses from
head to rest of body.
COMMON USES
1. Car door opener.
2. Dump of left-over food.
3. Great to practice speaches without interruption.
TESTS
1. Turns red if hit in center of mass, turns blue if hit in critical
point.
2. Turns green besides a molecule of the opposite charge (WO2)
with higher potential.
HAZARDS
1. Highly dangerous to himself if left alone.
2. Highly dangerous to others if told the above.
