And then there was Freddie Mercury. According to the football sizzler, it
was he who convinced radio that Bohemian Rhapsody, even though it went on
for several thousand minutes, was suitable for radio play. "I was a plugger
and I knew Freddie very, very well." At this point Mr Hall sings, if that is
the word, a few snatches from Bohemain Rhapsody. Not very easy on the ear,
this.
��� "Mama, just killed a man, put a bullet in my hand, or whatever it is,
monster, monster, I love it, and that was about seven minutes-ish, I think,
but I got Noel Edmonds to play it on the radio and Noel, bless him, monster
bloke, made it his record of the week and we went to number 1..."
Blah, blah, blah. Course you did.
��� "And Freddie, Freddie Mercury. Monster. I knew him very well. We were
like brothers. He was monster, monster lovely."
Have you got a moustachio? Can you do the fandango? Or whatever? Eric's
friend, Tony, a teenage blonde Baywatch type - six foot if a day of
monsterism - has joined us in the hot office, gazing on at proceedings. If
Mr Mercury was such a pal, didn't you ever feel obliged to say, hey,
Frederick, enough is enough, er, that sort of thing?
��� "No. What the hell. What the hell. I don't care what people do as long
as people are not abusing children and trying to murder people. No. No. I
don't give a fuck. Look at Tom Robinson. He was gay. I was his plugger. And
when I left Tom Robinson, he cried like a baby, he really did. He'd just had
his first hit record, monster hit record - 1, 4, 2, 5, 3, 8 Motorway, or
whatever it was called - and he cried and things.
"We toured Japan, Freddie and me..." (I think he means Queen toured
Japan and he happened to be there in some PR facilitation business thing)
"... and Freddie was lovely. Monster, lovely..." (Tony looks somewhat
surprised at this information.) "Freddie used to fall in love every 10
minutes. He'd come into my room crying like a baby. He'd say, I've met the
love of my life, Eric. I want you to see him, I want you to meet him, I'm in
love, I'm in love. I'd just say Good Luck to you. Me and Freddie - we were
very close. Monster."
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