Recovery is a process.
Growth happens when I allow myself to be molded by my
Higher Power. Stretching my mind and learning new skills
are a part of that growth. A reward of my recovery was the
opportunity to work in a rehab that made all it's employees
go through their 21 day program prior to being hired.
At this time, I was going through a difficult time in my life.
I really didn't think I would gain anything from the experience,
after all, I had been sober over 10 years! Boy, was I in for a surprise!
The following poem is the result of my treatment task to tell
others what I had gained from the experience.
T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE REHAB
T'was the night before rehab and all
To the top of the mountain,a place called " the farm."
My guard was up as I'd done this before
"Have a treatment experience" J.D. had said.
But my nerves settled down and my work then began
One of my first tasks was relating my story,
Anger, resentment, selfishness and fear
Manipulation, pride, impatience and lust,
I listed my assets to gain a perspective.
Honesty, openess, the ability to care.
Patience and tolerance, the willingness to grow.
Confronted with more insight, to now greater depths,
Powerless-unmanageable the nature of me
Inventory, confession, readiness and prayer.
Made amends to my family, to whom I'd done harm
Now I prayed for the knowledge of God's will for me,
T'was the night before discharge and all through my brain
I was leaving the mountain, a place called "the farm"
Some changes occurred as the result of my stay.
More faith and more trust, a stronger program to live,
Courage, humility....gifts from my God above
My time now has come to say my final good-bye
5/17/89 sjs
through my brain
Danced so many creatures like fear,hope and pain.
My training began-despite my alarm,
And I prayed it would leave when I entered the door.
It was then that I realized,I still had some dread.
On the numerous tasks found in my treatment plan.
Which then quickly led to a self inventory.
Were a few of my defects that appeared crystal clear.
Intolerance, dishonesty---Change was a MUST!
And realized once more, I was not all defective.
Self acceptance, commitment and hope-not despair.
An attitiude of gratitude began now to show.
I knew it was the right time to re-work The Steps.
Focused my thoughts back on Step 2 and Step 3.
Tackled my short comings and lessened their glare.
And a daily spot check..it worked like a charm.
As I completely surrendered and then was set free.
No longer danced feelings like fear, dread and pain.
An as I was told.. it had done me no harm.
The first one that stands out was my action of play.
More ability to take and not just to give.
Deeper serenity and a greater self love.
One Day At A Time, I no longer live high.