**All characters are copyright of Southern Star blah blah blah, and no infringement upon this copyright is intended. This story is for enjoyment only... :)
******
There were papers everywhere. On the desk, on the polished surface of the floor, some still floating haphazardly through the air on the way to a resting place. It was a complete mess. And it was a complete *disaster* in a day that couldn't have possibly gotten any worse for Maggie Doyle.This
was it!
"Oh jeez, I'm sorry, Maggie..." Adam quickly gathered his miscellaneous papers up from their resting place at Maggie�s feet and scrambled to retrieve the file which had fallen from his hands.
Glancing down at the offending file folder, now devoid of its previous cargo (which lay incongruously next to one of Maggies police issued black boots), Adam noticed uneasily that Maggies foot tapped impatiently against the floor as she herself stared icily down at his efforts.
"I guess I wasn't watching where I was going..." Adam apologized.
"No, I *guess* not." Maggie scowled at the young man. Normally, something like this wouldn't have bothered her, but today...today was different. Today the whole world was different. "You know that the problem here is, Adam? The *problem* is that you *never* seem to be watching ... *anything*, ever. You want to be a good copper and get off of those two-bit amateur garbage collector jobs Tom
keeps giving you? You have to learn to pay more attention. Attention....Adam? Are you listening to me? Come to think of it, perhaps if *I* would have figured that out sooner, maybe...just *maybe* I wouldn't be so...so... God I hate this!" Maggie threw her hands up in complete exasperation. It wasn't
bad enough that her whole universe was in a shambles, of course not. It wasn't even bad enough that she didn't know if she even felt like living anymore. **Goddamn you, Patrick Joesph Hasham!!
I could kill you!** No she couldn't. She couldn't because she was still completely, head over heels, madly, *passionately* in love with the man. And *that* made her madder than anything else.
"Maggie," Adam managed to cut in. "...hold up, are you feeling all right? You look kind of...upset. "
"Ha!" **He thinks I'm upset? He doesn't even know what upset *means*!**
"I look upset? Really? Okay, let me let you in on a little secret Adam Cooper, I am *upset*. I'm upset because I'm mad. I'm really, really mad, and if you were me you'd be mad too, and you'd have every reason to be mad!"
Moving backwards from his position at her feet, Adam dusted himself off. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen Maggie this...upset. Except maybe that time that PJ had gone out to lunch with Senior Detective Rosalie Jones and left her a note on her desk...
"Whoa, Maggie, listen, this sounds serious. Maybe I'm not who you should be talking to, what about PJ?" Adam glanced over his shoulder at the door, hoping desperately that PJ would be there so he could escape... "...And speaking of *talking*, I kind of have to get my butt in gear before Tom finds out I�m talking to you instead of getting this copy outta here to Saint Davids. I m sorry, I gotta fly..." Quickly
gathering the last of his fallen papers off of the floor, Adam dashed out from under Maggies death glare and ducked out the door, brushing past PJ who stepped out into the main office.
"Hey, PJ, just in time." Adam added hastily over his shoulder, as he swept into the open door. "Maggie is really bummed this morning! I'm not sure I'd want to be the guy that has to cool her off today!" He grinned mischievously at PJ as the door closed behind him.
PJ sighed and shook his head. It was going to be a long day. It was probably going to be a long month. He just hoped it wasn't going to be a really long career. From the back of theoffice Maggie glanced up at him, her face assuming an air of quiet indifference. **Oh god, she hates me** PJ glanced back at her and smiled...barely. He hadn't realised how difficult it would be to see her this morning, especially
after last night. She looked...beautiful, as ever. Her long hair pulled back with little whisps of hair around her small delicate ears inthat endearing way that was all Maggie. PJ could feel a lump rising up into his throat and a the knot in his stomach tighten into an aching ball. It felt like...like nothing he had ever experienced before. Physical pain was something he had generally not ever had to worry about, and even then, he felt that he would much rather face a bullet rather than have to endure the cloying ache which pervaded his body now. Dying. It felt like dying. Only this time, PJ knew that there would be no final release as might come with any real death. For all he knew, this could go on forever.
"PJ, are you gonna stand there all day gawking, or are you gonna get some work done around here?" It was Tom's voice. PJ shook off his momentary daze and snapped to attention.
"Yes, Boss, sorry. I guess I got a bit sidetracked." PJ swallowed visibly and looked back in the direction of the woman who held his life in her delicate hands every day. For her part, Maggie, who had been looking in his direction as well, noticed his gaze shift to her eyes and turned away.
Sitting back down at her desk, he saw her fingers moving quickly over a keyboard that hadn't been used all morning ... until now.
PJ made his way towards his own desk, stopping briefly to stand next to Maggie.
"Hi Maggie." His voice was soft and so full of despair it almost tore through Maggies heart to hear him speaking. Maybe she was wrong, maybe they *could* go back to the way things were, maybe... *maybe* she shouldn't be such a fool - again. She had already been almost completely emotionally destroyed by two men. Who was to say that PJ wouldn't be the same? Who was to say that he...that *they* hadn't made the right choice last night. **Who am I kidding? PJ could never be the same as the others. I never loved any of them the way I love him...** Then why? All Maggie knew was that she
was hurt and angry and afraid. And that she wasn't going to allow PJ to see any of this...except maybe the anger.
"PJ." she said, not bothering to look up from her screen. The fact that Maggie was giving him the brush off didn't bother PJ as much as the way she spoke. He could tell that she was hurt. All he wanted to do was take her into his arms and hold her, right there and to hell with what anybody else thought. And why not? She would let him, he *knew* she would! Why should he let his pride stand in the way? Or her pride for that matter? But he *couldn't* and a part of him was disgusted with himself for not being able to do it.
"Maggie, this won't work. We can't be this way. We're a TEAM remember? Doyle and Hasham? We have to work together every day, professionally. What happens if we need to collaborate on a case? It won't work."
"You already said that." Maggies tone was icy as she continued to stare at her monitor and tapped her fingers impatiently against her desk. What did he think he was doing? After everything that happened last night he thought that he could just walk in here and expect them to be friends? Just pick up where they left off, sans the engagement and the romance, just be buddy buddy like nothing happened? No
way. That was just impossible. "In fact, isn't that what we BOTH said last night as well? How odd....the same sentence, two very different meanings." Maggie smiled bitterly.
PJ sighed. **I love you, Maggie.**
"Maggie, you know why we said...why we *did* what we did." he looked down at her and frowned.
Glancing up, she shot PJ a cold glare, but even as she did, she noticed the expression on his face was not grim and determined as it had been last night. It was almost...sad. **Oh PJ...** Suddenly all she wanted to do was jump up and fall into his arms, for him just to hold her and stroke her hair, to tell her...what?
Everything was so clear last night. Why was it so complicated today?
"No, PJ. What I *know* is that we ended it... for us. What I *know* is that we were going to get *married* and now, we can't even have a civil conversation..."
PJ regained his resolute determined face and moved around so that he was standing almost in front of her. "Maggie, don't. It doesn't matter. We made the right choice. I can't expect to have a 'normal' life any more than..." PJ looked down for a moment and lowered his voice to almost a whisper, lest the other employees in the office might hear him. "...well now, I dunno, I guess there really isn't a
precedent for a guy who's afraid of marriage and loss..." PJ stopped abruptly and looked up to find himself staring into the face that held him captive every time he saw it. Forcing his eyes away before she could read his expression, and before he lost any more of his already waning control, he glanced quickly down towards her desk where he noticed all of the miscellaneous papers that were all in Maggie's words, 'exactly where I know where to find them'. He noticed her small delicate hands sitting on top of her keyboard, hands which had so often brushed tenderly against his face, hand which had...no trace of the ring they had worn only yesterday.
"And what?" Maggie looked up at PJ, who seemed as distant as the country he was born. "PJ?" Why was he doing this? Everything had been so clear just a moment ago, and nothing had changed, so why did she suddenly feel like she was...
"...falling in love." he spoke, as he lifted his gaze reluctantly, to meet hers.
"PJ..." Maggie's voice was soft, and PJ wasn't sure if he heard the familiar break in its cadence that usually meant tears were being held back. He felt as though his heart was being torn in half. **No, please, God, please don't cry...**
"Maggie, I did a lot of thinking last night, and you were right, I can't... *We* can't do this ..." PJ gently placed his hand against her face. It felt so right, the way her small features fit perfectly into the palm of his large masculine hand. Now, if his resolve had been shaken before, he realized that he couldn't hurt her. Not ever. It had to be over. "You know what the strangest part is? I think I've always known. I just... never wanted to admit it...I was selfish." The knot in his stomach became an insistent pulsing agony and PJ wondered if he could survive it. Maggie just stared up at him, a mixture of hurt and pride evident on her face, her eyes shining with unshed tears. He couldn't take it anymore. It was too
much. Unable to listen to her response, PJ swallowed hard and turned away from the one person who meant more to him than anything else in the universe. It was probably the second hardest thing he had ever done in his life, he thought bitterly. The hardest was when he had to watch Maggie remove the
engagement ring from her finger, when he saw the tears in her eyes as she did. And now, having seen her this one last time had confirmed everything he had been so confused about last night. Taking a deep breath, he walked slowly away towards the door, into which he slipped quietly through, and was gone.
"PJ..." Maggie whispered rather than called out, lest the entire office notice the tears which fell unbidden, and trickled down her cheeks once again.
Safely inside his small confinement, a young, broken man sank to his knees against the wall and sobbed bitterly.
*****************
"I knew it! I knew it!" Maggie smiled enigmatically at her partner in crime, Dash McKindley, as she gleefully munched on yet another timtam.
"Mags, I gotta tell ya I'surewasss," Dash reached out and gulped down an entire can of soda before continuing.
"...difficult to get those guys to confess. I'm glad I was only hiding in the shadows, guns you know...they give me ... indigestion."
"Dash, you're an angel...a saint! Did I ever tell you that?"
"Yeah, sure, sure, could you pass me another? Gee, I never figured espionage could build me up such an appetite, usually you know, it's just word on the street, and that's hungry work in itself, but this spying stuff...I'm starved!"
Dash grabbed the small white container proudly displaying the logo of "House of Kong" and Maggie smiled inwardly. Sometimes, having to shell out in order to feed Dash's seemingly bottomless pit was rewarded by the fact that she could watch her eat almost anything and never get ill. **She must have a cast iron stomach, that one**
"So..." Maggie looked up from her 'otherwise engaged' companion and stared thoughtfully out into space. "... If the Wilson's are behind all of the recent robberies and computer fraud in the scientific community, what could they be after?"
Dash glanced up quickly, almost too quickly, but just in time to see Maggie's shrewd stare confront her.
Confused for a split second, Maggie only narrowed her eyes at her sudden response to her question. But the look of confident calculation which Maggie thought she had seen on Dash's face was no longer present.
"Look, Maggie, don't take me there." Dash spoke through mouthfuls of Slippery Shrimp. "I don't know, and I don't *wanna* know. I've already stuck my neck out as far as it'll reach on this one, and I ain't goin' no further. Next time I give you a lead, you can spy by yourself. I almost got my
head blown off today!" Dash patted her own neck reassuringly and then continued with her assault on the box of shrimp.
"I know, Dash, and I appreciated it! Didn't I get you this 'extra' dinner on top of the three boxes of pastries from 'Logan's'? Didn't I take you all the way back here to my house so you could eat in peace?"
Dash smirked. "You're here." she said matter-of-factly. "Where's the peace? ...And, for that matter, I *still* ain't goin' with you next time. Why don't you take PJ with you? I'm sure he wouldn't mind following you off the edge of the planet.." At the mention of PJ, Maggie's face fell noticeably, and she looked away for a second before returning her attention to Dash's continuing verbal tirade. "... *I*, on
the other hand, still have some regard for my own life. You know something? This *Love* stuff is overrated. A girl's gotta watch her own neck as far as I'm concerned, and being *in love* just gets in the way. Ah...but you probably disagree with me...being there yourself. I ain't no poet, but what is it
that those poet types are always sayin'? Once bitten...I don't remember the rest."
"Twice shy." Maggie whispered and looked down at her hand as it rested on the table. Her 'ringless' hand.
"What?" Dash was once again chomping.
"Once bitten, twice shy. That's the cliche. But it doesn't fit in your context." She glanced up at Dash and then tried to smile. "Anyway, I don't think PJ would follow me off the edge of the planet. Not anymore." She whispered, and then added in an even quieter voice. "...at least not now."
"You know, Maggie, I don't get you sometimes, always whispering to yourself. You need to seek help." Dash regarded Maggie for a moment while she fixed her with her finest 'very funny' stare, before she continued, "...I'm kidding, Maggie. Look, its been real, but I gotta fly..."
The last part of Dash's sentence grabbed Maggie's attention and for a moment she simply stared at her.
"What? Do I got sauce on my face?" Dash dabbed at the corners of her mouth with a napkin.
Snapping out of her trance, Maggie shook her head slightly. Dash frowned in return. She looked almost ... sympathetic, but then with Dash, Maggie could never be sure of anything ... except maybe her appetite.
"No, no Dash, thanks a lot. Call me if you hear anything else." Maggie shook her head slowly, to clear it, as she watched Dash moved towards her door before turning back one last time.
"As usual, Maggie, you'll never hear from me again, " She winked at her "...and I was never here and you never saw me" Dash smiled. "G'bye, Maggie..." She turned and left her, standing thoughtfully, next to her couch. Sighing, she closed and locked her door and moved back over to fall unceremoniously into her sofa.
**Oh God, what a killer headache** She brought one hand up to massage her temples as she allowed herself to think verbally. "I don't need you anyway, PJ. I got along just fine without you for years, why should NOW be any different?" Closing her eyes, Maggie tried to remember a time when she was happy. Instead, shattering images popped uninvited into her head and as she slipped into a fitful sleep,
dreaming of PJ, and the horrible night before.
"No! I disagree." Maggie shot PJ a frustrated glare and took a step towards him. They had been in house for two hours, having come to loggerheads over an investigation they could not seem to see eye to eye on. Not that this was anything new lately. "It's not as though the Wilson's haven't run *all* of the crime in Mount Thomas before! What makes you think that if they have their hands into 98%
of all the experimental labs in the country, they would leave Our Labs alone?" Her tone was quickly approaching exasperated.
PJ rolled his eyes, just slightly, even so Maggie noticed the gesture and scowled. "Maggie, think about it. With the Police actively involved in protecting the facility, how could anyone get in or out without *our* knowing? I mean, I think I would recognize known members of the Wilson's entering and exiting the building." PJ gave Maggie his patented 'ironic' look and tipped his head to one side as if
anticipating her reaction.
It had taken PJ four years to get Maggie exactly where he wanted her in both his personal *and* professional lives. In that time, he had amassed plenty of practice in dealing with her subtle arrogance. Tonight however, PJ was having a hard time keeping his cool. Maggie was being completely unreasonable! And she was getting to him...again. Worst of all, she didn't seem as though she would be willing to back down any time soon.
For her part, Maggie simply continued to stare at him, her scowl having transformed into an expression of utter disbelief. "I cannot *believe* I am hearing this. You are *so* naive sometimes! Come on, PJ! You can't be everywhere, *all* the time, and the Wilson's know that. Just like they *know* that we are more active with our Labs than perhaps the force ought to be..." That was it. That was just...IT.
"Oh really? You're the expert, right?" PJ threw back at her. "You know how I should live my professional life *much* better than *I* ever could! What are you saying *this* time, Maggie? That I might be blowing my own cover in helping our Labs do research on IVF programs"
PJ couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was bad enough that Maggie would challenge him on his ability to stay on top of things in his own life, but to attack his keeping a close eye on Our Labs when she *knew* exactly why he *had* to do it...
"Okay...and you propose I do.....what? Just leave them alone with it? As much as I might trust Dr. Smith, I'm not sure I would be willing to give him free rein on something as valuable to me as IVF..."
"PJ." Maggie's tone was resigned, and she seemed unaffected by his verbal attack. "*Maybe* you shouldn't have handed those notes over to those scientists in the first place! You should have just gotten rid of them! Thrown them into the garbage or ... something." She was scared. He could see it in her eyes. And her fear for him began to drain away any of the anger he had been feeling, slowly replacing it with that warm confusing knot he always felt in the pit of his stomach whenever he held her close to him, the energy between them that sometimes made him feel like he wanted to just hold forever, absorb her into himself, somehow.
Maggie continued, "...I mean, its not as if they've made any startling *breakthroughs* yet, have they? And how long will it be before someone like the Wilson's catch on to the fact that a member of the police force is interested in our Labs because..."
**I love you.** he wanted to say. **Do you have any idea how much I just want to take you in my arms and hold you right now?**.
"Because what?" He cut her off instead. "Maggie, *nothing* is going to happen to me, I've got everything under control and I wish sometimes that you'd just...that you'd..." At a loss for words, PJ sighed in frustration and threw his arms up unceremoniously. **How could I love you so much
that it HURTS...and want to wring your neck at the same time? Do you have any idea what you do to me, Maggie Doyle?** Unexpectedly, PJ shook his head and laughed out loud.
"What?"
"Maggie, can we just drop this *please?*"
"No, PJ, we can't." It was Maggie's turn to be affronted, or so it appeared to PJ. She was mad, there was no question of that, and somehow, PJ thought that his short burst of laughter, as innocent as his motives had been, had only served to make her even angrier. "We've been *dropping* too many things lately, and it's time we got things out in the open, don't you think?" Maggie began to pace back
and forth from her sofa to the window where PJ stood, casually dressed in his street clothes.
PJ watched her briefly. Maggie always paced when she was uncomfortable or anxious.
"I mean..." she continued "...maybe we could at least *start* talking, seeing as how we both KNOW we won't get to finish this conversation." She glared at him, daring him to understand the implications of her innuendo.
PJ didn't need any further encouragement. "Oh I get it. You're going to start in again about how I get called off every time we start to have a serious talk, aren't you? Maggie," PJ sighed. "... I thought we had an understanding about this? I *have* to go..." She was drawing him in expertly, he could feel the anger rising up inside of him...how did she do it? She always knew *exactly* which strings to pull, which needles to push into his exposed ego. Well she wasn't going to get away with it this time.
"Right. Every single time. It's not like the other police officers could handle things by themselves once in a while is it? I mean, the world was just complete CHAOS before *PJ* came along, and we all KNOW that..."
"Maggie!"
"What?!" Maggie shot back at PJ. She knew her remarks would hurt him. A part of her was even glad.
"Maggie, being a detective is a big part of who I am. I've divided myself in two so effectively that I can't be *both* at the same time anymore. And sometimes..."
"And sometimes I just want to be with PJ!" Maggie screamed in frustration and turned in her pace, walking away from PJ before spinning back around to face him once again, pointing a finger at him accusingly. "I just want to sit down for one *full* evening in front of a VCR with the man I'm *in love* with and....and an old movie and *know* that if I lay back in his arms and fall asleep, that he'll, that *you'll* still be there when I wake up..." Maggie glared at PJ, her eyes challenging him to tell her she was wrong in asking for what she had.
"I can't promise you that, Maggie. I'm sorry." PJ's expression was unreadable. He hoped.
"No. You aren't sorry, and you probably shouldn't be. I hate this conversation even more than you do because *I* am clearly the bad guy here."
"Maggie, you're not..."
"Yes. Yes, I am. But you know what? I don't care anymore. I guess I just want to have a REAL life with *my* fiance. Sometimes, if not all the time, *once in a while*! You know what? Everything in life is a choice, PJ. You *choose* not to promise me a night, even an evening with no interruptions. And the worst part is that I shouldn't even be angry with you for that. But I am, PJ. I am, and
sometimes when I'm alone in my house, after you've gone off yet again, and I *know* I won't see you again until the next day...sometimes I even find myself wondering if this can work anymore..." Maggie heard the words tumble from her mouth as she let herself lace into PJ. This time, it was his turn to glare at her. **Funny, I was just wondering the same thing**
"Maggie, where is this going..."
"We have to be honest, PJ." Maggie's tone was outright mad. "...you said it yourself, didn't you? Sometimes you just wish I'd...? What? So say it now, PJ."
"Let me do what I have to do. Alone." PJ looked down, as if the admission of his thoughts was somehow also an admission of guilt for some other heinous crime.
"Exactly. You think I interfere with your job as a detective. I know that." The biting anger in Maggie's voice only served to set PJ on edge.
"How can you do this, Maggie? How can you take issues we have *agreed* upon and just ... God you make me so angry sometimes!" PJ fixed his partner with a steely gaze before continuing. "You know what? I AM tired of you always having to *win* every argument. And you once told me that neither I nor any other man had the right to live your life for you, and yet you always seem to want to have a handle on *my* life...especially my working life! How is *that* different, Maggie? Maybe we DO need to talk about this and..."
"What, PJ? What could you possibly say that would change *anything*? You'll still always go running off at the slightest 'Oh My...' in the distance..." Maggie fired back at him in defiance. PJ locked his gaze on her somber expression and knew that he could not let this last dig go unchallenged.
"I seem to recall one or two pleas for help from a certain constable who was none too upset to see
me come to HER rescue!" He shot back. "What do you think? Should I start splitting hairs? I *have* to be 'Him' *some* of the time. You KNOW this! Why are we even having this discussion?!" Hurt and upset, PJ looked directly into Maggie's face and saw only anger and determination. Or perhaps that was all he would let himself see.
"But you're not just 'Him' *some* of the time anymore, PJ, you're HIM *most* of the time, and this is
not a discussion anymore, in case you haven't noticed, it's an argument. We're not even married and we're already fighting. It's just like my parents... "
PJ scowled. "Oh really? Well ... maybe it's a Doyle family trait then?" **Oh no.** He wished he could
have taken this last comment back the moment the words rolled easily off of his lips, and he could see them slicing deeply into Maggie even now.
She was silent for long moments, her eyes ever so slightly glassy, so that PJ was unable to tell if she was
really on the verge of tears, or if it was simply the play of the light. "Maybe." she whispered, and then, from somewhere deep inside of her she found that 'Maggie Doyle' air of self-confidence, a wall of pride which PJ had encountered when he first met her. It was an insurmountable barrier she had kept
for so many years, only slowly revealing herself to him as their feelings become stronger. He flung it now in front of her once again.
"You're right, Maggie. Maybe this *isn't* going to work." A big part of PJ wondered if he'd hurt
Maggie with this last remark, but a smaller, yet somehow even more insistent part of him, was so full of guilt and shame and pride, that it forbade him to apologize.. "I *have* to be a detective and it isn't fair for me to ask you to give up your own personal life the way that I've given up mine." PJ took a step
backwards unconsciously. He knew what he had said was hurtful and untrue, and he cringed when he saw Maggie throw up her defenses against *him*. The defenses he had worked too long and hard to get her to drop, and he had forced her to pull them out again with little more that a few ill chosen words
spoken in anger.
"Touche." Maggie took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "So, it's official then. It won't work with us, will it?" She looked down at her feet, unable to face PJ and all of the implications of this newest decision.
"I guess not." PJ refused to look away.
Glancing up, Maggie drew on all of the strength she had left inside of her, pulling herself further and further behind the familiar wall she had built up so long ago. She reached down and gently toyed with the small gold and diamond band which she wore around her left ring finger. It was a symbol which
had only a few moments ago, it seemed, represented the most powerful feelings she had ever felt in her life. PJ watched her hand as she slowly slipped the ring from her finger and it was all he could do not to reach out and stop her...somehow. **Maggie, No...please! I'll do anything you want...anything you
say, don't do this!** PJ felt the words rise in his throat but was unable to speak. It was like a horrible nightmare, but it was real. How could this be happening? This was insane, impossibly insane and yet he could figure out no way to stop it from happening. For the second time in his life, PJ Hasham
felt utterly and completely helpless, and he thought, with bitter irony, the first time was when Maggie had said yes...to Roman.
Maggie watched the small gold band slide from her finger and into the palm of her other hand. She shivered with cold as she felt a rush of emptiness wash over her, enveloping her in a bleakness that threatened to consume her. Holding the delicate ring , she knew there were unshed tears shining in her
eyes and she knew that PJ could see them. It was too late anyway. She extended her hand, and the ring, out towards him.
Looking at Maggie, that way just then, PJ was unable to speak. All he could think about were her words and his as they rang out in his head unendingly. He took the ring.
"God," Maggie allowed herself to look up at PJ, whose own eyes glistened with impending tears. "I never thought this could feel so much...like dying." He held the ring for a moment before slipping it into the pocket of his jacket. Silence seemed to hang over them for an eternity, until PJ suddenly looked up, away from Maggie, a far-off expression crossing his face. Maggie let out a small moan, it was the closest she had come to actually allowing herself to cry.
"I...I gotta go..." PJ pointed vaguely out in one direction, even as Maggie was able to compose herself once again.
"Yeah." It was Maggie's turn to be at a loss for words.
PJ moved back a few steps, before heading to the door. "Good-bye, Maggie." He glanced at her one last time before he turned, and then disappeared through her door into the night.
**What is that?**
The phone was ringing. Maggie woke from a fitful sleep, at first unaware of the nature of the harsh noise which had jolted her back into consciousness. Finally turning her attention to the red phone which sat next to her, she had regained enough coherence to pick it up.
"Hello?"
"Maggie, it's me - Adam."
"Adam, it's Sunday, it's my day off." Maggie rubbed her eye with her other hand. "...Listen, I was meaning to talk to you...I'm sorry about the other day, I had no right to yell at you like that, it's just that I was feeling kind of out of sync, and I guess I just took it out on you. I shouldn't have done
that."
"I know, Maggie, it's okay, and I'm not calling about that anyway *really*. I also know it's your day off and this sucks, but the Boss asked me to call you *and* PJ. Another science lab got hit last night. Computers have been wiped clean, and any of the data which was copied to disk has been
stolen."
Maggie yawned loudly. "Adam, this is the 3rd lab this month, it's not exactly breaking news." Falling back onto the couch, still holding the receiver, Maggie sighed, her mind still replaying some of her more recent dreams. She was afraid they might never go away.
"Yeah I know, but the Boss figured you'd want to know since you seemed interested in these guys before..."
"What guys...?"
"Our Labs."
Maggie sat bolt upright. "Our Labs? Adam, are you sure?"
"Positive, Maggie. It was a clean getaway, too."
"Adam, listen to me, and this is VERY important. I want you to find out *exactly* what was stolen last night, and I'm not just talking about computer data, I mean *anything*, everything okay?" Maggie could feel her heart pounding in her chest. **oh god, what if they had found the notes? They could get to PJ...they could kill him...**
"Sure, Maggie, I'll get right on it..."
"Now, Adam! This is very important."
"I get that impression...I'm on it."
Maggie hung up the receiver and stared for a moment at a photo of PJ and herself across the room. "We may not be together anymore, PJ, but I'll be damned if I'm going to stand by and watch them kill you."
******************
PJ hung up the phone in his apartment and ran out the door. When he had finally arrived home last night after his patrol of the town, he had fallen asleep almost immediately. Thoughts of Maggie and the last couple of days had kept his dreams fitful until he woke this morning to...the sound of Maggie's heartbeat? Was she frightened? He wasn't sure, because just then the phone had rang. After he'd
hung up, having spoken with Adam, PJ listened again, but the sound was gone, a figment of his imagination.
As he took off from his apartment and drove across the city towards Our Labs' facility. He could just hear Maggie's 'I told you so' echoing in his head. But the thought of that, instead of making him angry, only made him miss her more. He even missed the way she used to *insist* she was right, the way she rubbed it in when it was (often) discovered that she really was. Mostly, he missed the more recent way he had been apologizing to her of late, the kisses that seemed to last for hours until one or the other pulled away, unwilling but resolute, lest their mutual agreement to 'wait' until after the wedding would be broken.
Lost in thoughts of Maggie, PJ almost missed Our Labs altogether. As it was he veered the corner quickly and parked, at the site of what was now a full-blown policeinvestigation. He decided to do some exploring of his own.
After about twenty minutes, a police car pulled up onto the side of the road. Maggie, bold and defiant as always, stepped out and walked straight through the line of 'Police Tape', marching inside the building before any of the busy investigators noticed she had even been through. Coming upon lab 6, the area dedicated to the study of heineous crimes, and more notably... PJ's fathers death; Maggie found it empty, the police having not yet searched this far into the building. She stepped carefully over the disabled files, papers and computer files which were scattered haphazardly over the floor and made her way to a small vault, which stood open. Moving cautiously inside, she came upon a sight she had not been prepared for. Sitting, knees pulled up to his chest, in and among the various items of disarray, was PJ.
Maggie held her breath before entering. The sight of PJ, alone, looking very distressed and unhappy made her heart ache, but she knew that she would never allow herself to comfort him, not now.
"PJ..." Maggie could not remember seeing him look this lost in a long time.
At the sound of her voice, PJ looked up at Maggie, blankly, a worried expression visible on his face for only a moment.
"It's okay, there's no one here." She managed a half smile. "They probably won't get to this area for another hour or so...no one saw me come in." PJ sighed and nodded.
"The master of subterfuge. You should be the one doing the detecting." He looked up again briefly.
"No, we tried that, remember? I don't have the stamina for it." She smiled at her own remark.
"I disagree."
"What?" Maggie looked down at his serious expression.
"Nothing. They have it."
"I thought so." Maggie moved towards PJ and lowered herself down to sit next to him, various papers sliding out of the way as she adjusted her position to be comfortable. "Is it still in the box?"
"I guess so." He looked directly at her while he spoke. "The box is gone too, and I doubt they could have cracked the code to open it before they would have had to get out of here. They might not even know what's in it." PJ looked down. He knew even as he said them, that his words were probably untrue.
"It's the Wilson's. We can find them..." Maggie reached out and took his hand. She held it for a moment, letting her fingers gently caress his, until he looked up at her and she realized what she had been doing. Self-consciously, she pulled her hand back into her own lap and smiled shyly.
"Maggie..." PJ's eyes were like warm pools she wanted to lose herself inside of, but thoughts of the previous night kept stabbing into her feelings for him. She wanted to hold him. Be held *by * him. Right here, right now, it hurt so much that she thought she might *really* die. **God, wouldn't that be ironic?** But he was looking at her that way again, the way he used to...Only now, she couldn't let herself be drawn in. She didn't know if she could go through what she had the other night. Not again. And they still hadn't resolved anything. PJ lifted one hand up towards her face - she longed for him to touch her again...
"So..." Maggie interrupted, standing. "What are we doing just sitting here? We've got some investigating to do."
"You're right." Disappointed, PJ stood up and led the way out of the vault with Maggie following close behind him. He kept reliving the last few moments of their conversation over and over in his head, the way she'd held his hand, her fingers lightly brushing up against his skin. It was driving him crazy.He went out the door and matched step with Maggie, who had learned by now to just keep walking as though he had never left her side. She was an amazing woman.
"Since we already know who's behind it, all we *really* need to worry about is finding them." She spoke quickly as she walked beside him. "I say we start with Dash." Maggieglanced at her partner to see what he thought of her idea.
"Dash. I agree." PJ reached into his pocket to pull out his note pad realizing as he did so, that he had neglected to remove the ring from where he had placed it the night before. Holding it in his hand, PJ let the ring slip between his fingers and then turned to look at Maggie. She was off in her own world.
Gently moving the ring aside, he pulled the pad of paper out and glanced furtively at his partner in case she had noticed his moment of irresolution. Maggie still seemed distracted in her own thoughts and PJ was almost relieved.
Suddenly, Maggie turned towards him and cocked one eyebrow up. "You *do* realize you just agreed with me, Mr. Hasham?" Her smile was enigmatic, perhaps more cheerful than she had intended, and so it was impossible for PJ not to return the favor.
"I know. Strange, isn't it?" PJ clicked on his pen and began writing *something* on the pad he carried in his hand. Maggie, for her part, returned to what she was best at - talking(!).
"If Dash's heard anything about who might have the box, there's a good chance that the Wilson's will have too, I mean, if it wasn't them to begin with. And they'll be either looking for it, or trying to open it, if they haven't already..." It was the strangest feeling. Maggie *knew* that she should still be upset with PJ. She knew nothing had really changed between them, but somehow, she found herself falling back into old habits; the friendly banter they had always had even before they were
involved...romantically. Maybe they could be friends again... Maggie glanced expectantly at PJ. "I think it's time we did a little bit of 'undercover' work. Aliases, disguises, the whole bit, you up for it?"
PJ self-consciously straightened his tie. "Always. It's what I do best, isn't that what you said the other night?" PJ looked down at her.
Maggie stared at him for a moment, obviously moved in some way by the mention of the other night, though he couldn't tell exactly which emotion registered on her face.
"I guess I did." She fidgeted with her carry bag for a few seconds before fixing PJ with another small, shy smile. "I said a lot of things the other night."
This time, PJ looked right into her eyes, trying to read her expression, his own conflicting emotions causing him to fail miserably. "So did I." He whispered, and somehow, they found themselves inches away from one another...closer and closer...
**He's going to kiss me** For Maggie, the moments seemed an eternity, she closed her eyes and felt the brush of his lips against her own, sending a shiver through her entire body. She leaned forward in anticipation...but he was gone.
"I'm sorry...." It was PJ's almost breathless voice. He cleared his throat, as both straightened up and Maggie swallowed hard. "You mentioned disguises?"
Maggie looked down for a moment, hoping PJ hadn't seen her disappointment. She inwardly resolved to stay firm in her convictions from now on and mentally kicked herself for being so weak. "Yes, disguises. I did." Maggie regarded her partner for a moment, appraisingly and then added. "Yes...yes, this COULD work."
They were both acting as if nothing had happened, and a part of PJ was almost, relieved. He cocked one eyebrow at his partner. "What? Maggie, I know that look. *What* could work?" He shifted his focus downward on himself in a futile attempt to see whatever it was she had seen in him.
"You, in a black suit, plain tie, suspenders...checked I think...NO, make that Burgundy, nice shirt, new shoes...OH and we can't forget... the hat..."
"Hat? Maggie, NO ONE wears hats anymore, and will you *please* tell me what your little mind has contrived *this* time?" PJ stared at Maggie incredulously for a moment until she began to laugh.
"Ha! My *little* mind ...you *did* say little didn't you?" Maggie glanced questioningly at PJ.
"Figure of speech..." PJ mumbled guiltily.
Maggie smiled at her partner. "Okay, you're forgiven...this time. My *little* mind has come up with a plan to get us *both* into the Blue Angel ... *tonight*." Maggie smiled at her own brilliance.
"Ahhhhh, Blue Angel...exclusive club, *known* for its affiliation with certain members of the Wilson Gang...strictly on the QT of course... HOW?" PJ's curiosity had been aroused. "Besides by my dressing up like a circus ringmaster...which by the way makes so much sense if you sit down and think about it..."
"See, I told you!" Maggie cut in.
"in a padded room for about 30 years..." PJ finished.
"Ha Ha." Maggie, smiled sarcastically at him and continued. "Actually, it DOES make sense, if you'd just listen instead of acting like a complete...PJ."
"What's that supposed to mean?" PJ shot back, almost laughing.
With an exasperated sigh, Maggie shoved her pad of paper into her carry bag just as the two rounded the corner of the street and turned onto Carter Ave., heading, more from force of habit than anything else, in the direction of Maggie's house. As Maggie unlocked the door to her house and they stepped inside, PJ wondered just how exactly it was that they could be so in sync sometimes, and so...out of sync
others.
"Okay," Maggie said as she plunked her bag down on the coffee table near her couch and turned once again to face PJ. "YOU are a foreign investor."
"Of course I am." PJ smiled innocently at Maggie, a clear indication that he was just 'humoring' her.
"No one would ever suspect me." He sighed audibly. "I think you've been watching too many James Bond movies, Maggie."
"James Bond was a wimp." Maggie shot PJ a dangerous look. "*My* plan is going to get us into the Blue Angel. Are you listening?" Maggie tapped PJ on the shoulder as he was examining an arrangement of flowers on a nearby table. Satisfied when she had regained his attention once again, she continued. "Do you remember when I went undercover as a singer?"
"Yeah, vaguely, you almost got yourself killed. And I seem to recall ANOTHER club, when I got shot trying to keep *you* out of trouble once again..." PJ grinned at her.
"..I remember. Speaking of which, PJ Hasham, *I* seem to recall *you* made me believe you were dead!" Maggie looked directly at PJ and suddenly her expression had changed from amused to distant. "I was devastated. I thought I'd never see you again, I thought I'd lost you..." Coming out
of her trance, Maggie realized what she had said...aloud.
"I'm sorry, that was kind of a tangent, wasn't it?" She could almost feel her ears turning red with embarrassment and was very grateful that she had her now-pulled back hair combed just over them.
"Maggie, I didn't *want* to do that to you." PJ reached out one hand to cup her face in the familiar way he always did. She marveled at the way her skin responded to his touch, sending an involuntary shiver up through her spine. "I never wanted to hurt you on purpose. Ever. I'm sorry. I mean I *was*, ... then." PJ caught Maggie's eyes with his own and for many moments, both seemed almost transfixed.
Then, clearing her throat, Maggie looked away from him and spoke.
"Anyway," she began, turning from him, so that his hand was no longer against her face. "I was just thinking that since I seem to be able to work as a singer, I should try it again."
"Maggie, do you have any idea how dangerous that could be for you?" PJ challenged.
"Well...*you'll* be there with me...won't you?" Maggie turned and fixed PJ with her best innocent smile.
Unable to refuse her, as ever, PJ gave in and shook his head. "Yeah, ... me and my suspenders and my silly hat to boot."
Maggie grinned. "Then it's settled, she patted his shoulder as she walked past him towards her bedroom so that she could change, and added in passing. "But I wouldn't go with the boots..."
"Ha. Ha." It was PJ's turn to play the sarcastic recipient.
PJ was gone. Maggie stepped out of the shower and proceeded to towel dry her hair. She looked up momentarily and glanced at the small clock on the counter top which read 5:40pm. He would probably be back in about 20 minutes. She knew that even though he had been looking for some pretty 'rare' items for his 'costume' he wouldn't take more than an hour or so. **Ahhh, the advantages of being a storer of dorky clothes**
After finishing her hair and make-up, Maggie checked her appearance in the mirror. Satisfied, she sighed and made her way into the bedroom where she began to change into her outfit for tonight's
performance. And it would have to be a good one if they were going to find out anything about who had taken the File from OurLabs.
On her bed she had laid out a beautiful off-the-shoulder dress, all in black with just a sequin
here or there for effect. And as she pulled the tight-fitting garment down around her, she wondered if anyone would *know* that she was unable to wear either a bra or underwear with it because anything would be much too visible. Lascivious thoughts of the fun she might have in this dress, with PJ *knowing*, ran rampant through her mind and she forced herself to quell these. **Why does it hurt so much?** Fully attired, Maggie fell back onto her bed and spread her arms wide above her head.
"PJ...why can't we make it work...?" Maggie thought out loud... "I don't understand anymore..."
**************************
"It's over." PJ stared across the table at his mother who sat next to him with a share
look of sympathy for her son.
"PJ, it can't be over, honey. You *love* Maggie!" Miranda extended one hand and took her son's.
"What happened?"
"It's...a *long* story, Mom. It's just, she's out of my personal life." PJ looked down at a plate of food which had long ago grown cold and remained untouched. "She gave the ring back to me...see?" PJ reached into a pocket and pulled out the precious cargo within. He held the small diamond ring out for inspection and his mother simply stared him in the face.
"Did you ask for the ring back, son?" his mother's low voice brought PJ out of his temporary melancholy silence.
"No, Mum. Well, not *directly*, I mean, we agreed that it was over and she just, took it off and gave it to me. I took it. If that's what you mean..."
"PJ, you silly boy! You took it back?" Miranda shook her head in frustration. "What on earth for?
When she handed you that ring she didn't want you to take it back!"
"She didn't?" PJ looked shocked.
"Heavens, no! She wanted you to tell her *not* to take it off! She wanted you to tell her that you wouldn't let things just end like that..." Miranda laughed ruefully. "Honestly, PJ, sometimes I wonder if you *weren't* raised on another planet!"
"But Mom, she took it off! She handed it right to me, and we *both* said some things..."
"That you BOTH regret right now. I know." Miranda smiled. "If I had a nickel for every time your father and I said some things we both regretted later, we'd all be rich!"
PJ shook his head. "You and Dad didn't argue...not like this..."
Taking a sip of her coffee Miranda choked loudly and coughed a few times.Then burst out laughing.
"Oh dear...are you alright?" He patted her on the back and she then glanced at PJ. "Honey, we were very good at finding quiet places to disagree in. The one thing we COULD always agree on was that we didn't want YOU to see us fighting."
"Mom, I'm just not sure anymore. About anything." PJ stared down at his food.
"Well you don't need to be. Oh dear... if we were always *sure* about everything in life there would be no more fun...no more adventure and certainly no more romance. How do you feel about Maggie?"
"I don't know." PJ looked up at his mother who frowned at him.
"Oh yes, you do! How are you feeling right now? Do you feel like you're shivering on the inside?"
"Yeah, how did you...?"
"It hurts in the middle of your chest and the pit of your stomach is all tied up in a knot and warm at the same time..."
"Yes." PJ was staring incredulously at his mother, who began to smile.
"Well then, it's hopeless." Miranda sighed.
"But I thought you were trying to *save* my relationship...?" PJ was very confused.
"PJ...you're hopelessly *in love*...with Maggie. I'm assuming here since you haven't mentioned anyone else lately..." Miranda frowned thoughtfully.
"Y...Mom! There *is* no one else, only Maggie. "
"Well then, what *is* the problem? Get out of here, PJ. You know exactly what you have to do! I don't know what you were fighting about and I don't think I need to. Honey...BE IN LOVE. Don't let some silly argument bury feelings that will drive you crazy!"
PJ sighed and got up from the table, moving towards the door he removed the napkin he had tucked into
the neck of his shirt, he opened the back door and moved out slowly, turning back to say good-bye.
"You know what, Mom? I know you're trying to help, but this time, it just isn't as simple. I gotta go..." With that, PJ took off and headed back to Mount Thomas.
"PJ!" Miranda called after her son. "Honestly, sometimes I just want to strangle that boy! Is that
wrong?" Miranda asked herself and then burst out laughing. "I give them one week."
********************************
PJ arrived back at Maggie's house at 5:58 p.m. He had stopped to change at his place on the way over , and now, dressed in a sharp new black suit, complete with designer suspenders *just* as Maggie
had outlined (he had had to stop in at Adam's, to find exactly the right pair); he knocked twice on her door. Maggie, for her part, was glancing at herself one last time in the mirror.
"This is dumb." Maggie regarded her reflection in the full length mirror. "I haven't felt like this for so long....it's not even like this is going to be a romantic evening ... this is business!" She glanced up and turned at the sound of two distinct knocks.
"Coming!" Gathering her purse up from its resting place on her bed, Maggie dashed into her living room, tossed the small bag onto the couch and proceeded to unlock and open her door.
As it swung inward, Maggie caught her breath. PJ was dressed in a remarkable black single-breasted suit, he had it open in front and carried a casual handsome air about him that *screamed* GQ.
"Wow" Maggie whispered as she took in the entire view, then catching herself... "How...come you don't have a hat?"
**Stupid question, Maggie...so dumb!** Maggie backed up to let PJ into her home. Her snug dress moved with her, accentuating every curve and feature. PJ was unable to speak. Thoughts of Maggie flooded his mind, and left him larger in places he wished that he wasn't.
"PJ?" Maggie leaned forward to look questioningly at her partner. "You're staring. Do I look...alright?"
Coming back to reality, PJ let his gaze trail up Maggie's body and settle on her face, her eyes. "You
look...breathtaking." His own eyes reflected an intensity Maggie had never seen before. Even when she *knew* PJ wanted her, she had never seen his eyes this full of desire. She felt dizzy, almost giddy, and she knew that if she didn't sit down, she would probably lose her balance.
"Well..." She reached out one hand to steady herself, and although it was nowhere near a move to save herself from falling, rather more of a slow deliberate motion towards the wall, PJ reached out and caught her wrist, steadying her. Maggie smiled, very distracted..
"Thank you. I was lying down before, I guess, maybe, I got up a little quickly..." They were very close now and Maggie could feel her body screaming in anticipation of something...*anything*. She realized that PJ had not spoken for quite a while.
"I guess." When he did, his voice was much deeper than usual. And Maggie looked up, somewhat surprised.
Using every ounce of willpower in her body, she pulled reluctantly from her incongruous position and turned slowly away from him, hoping to recover *some* of her sanity before she went completely 'native'.
"The club..." Maggie began, having turned to face the other side of the room. "... the club doesn't accept guests until nine, thanks again for coming early. I was hoping to work out the details of our plan before we left." Maggie lied. She wasn't exactly sure why she had asked PJ to show up so much
earlier this way, the 'plans' would only have taken about 15 minutes to go over and she knew it. In fact, she scolded herself, there was really only one reason she asked him over so early. She wanted to be with him. Her throat was dry and she cleared it softly before continuing. But PJ had already stopped listening.
All he could think about was her, the softness of her combined with the sweet smell of her perfume, the way her hair fell in tiny wisps just below her ears, the way her eyes sparkled in the dim light, the way her dress accentuated every beautiful feature on what he believed was the most perfect body he had ever seen... He missed her laugh, her touch, the familiar way she used to hold her hands against his chest when she would tease him. HE could still hear his mother's advice echoing in his head... **'She wanted you to tell her *not* to take it off! She wanted you to tell her that you wouldn't let things just end like that... Don't let some silly argument bury feelings that will drive you crazy!... Honey, BE IN LOVE!** He *was* in love. He didn't think he had ever felt so intensely about anyone in his entire life. It was all so completely crazy! **God, I need her so much...**
"And if I could persuade the manager to let me sing I'm sure I could..." Still facing away from him, Maggie was finishing a thought she had started only a moment before, unaware of PJ's absence from the discussion. **Maggie, how do you do this to me? How do you make my blood burn and my mind completely irrational?** His own heart was beating so strongly against his chest that he couldn't hear Maggie's doing the same.
PJ took a step towards her and stopped. **This is crazy! We're not even together anymore, she gave back the ring!** He saw his own hand as it moved up towards Maggie's back and then shoulder, seemingly of its own volition. She was still talking when he came to stand directly behind her,
and placed his hands against her. The room was suddenly silent. In that moment PJ knew that he would do anything for her. That he would live or die if she so much as asked him to. How hard would it be to let her have her one wish? To give her the nights she asked for, the nights without interruptions, the truth about all of his past. The city had survivedwithout him for so long and now he was choosing *it* over her. She was always there for him when he needed her. And he thought, he could even put up with the way she always liked to *win* every argument. If it meant being with her, he could do *anything*. He let his finger trace a line down her arm from her shoulder...
Maggie felt fire racing along her arm as his touch awoke something in her that she had been suppressing ever since he walked through the door. **What's happening?** Her sharp intake of breath caused him to pause, momentarily, and then, without a single word, he tipped his hand onto its back and ran
his fingers gently upwards, caressing her neck and moving her head to one side all in one motion. He lowered his head to the level of her neck and she could feel his warm breath against her sensitive skin. It felt as though every nerve, every muscle in her body had come alive, and she moaned softly as she felt
the warmth of his lips brush against her neck, and then her back as PJ moved slowly around her, his hands exploring the length of her arms at first, and then settling at her waist for a time.
"PJ..." Maggie whispered as her head remained tilted to one side, her eyes still closed.
"Shhhhhh shh shh shh...No interruptions."
"What?" For Maggie, this was more of a gasp than a word, as PJ began trailing light kisses along her neck.
"I promise." PJ came fully around until he stood face to face with the woman he loved, staring directly into her eyes. "I promise... no interruptions." His face betrayed all of the emotion he was feeling and Maggie was utterly lost, just as he was.
"PJ...no, you can't. I was wrong. I'm so sorry. I don't want you to make a promise like that anymore. I was being selfish. As usual. I'm always selfish, aren't I?" Her eyes glistened with tears and PJ could feel his own eyes filling with moisture rapidly.
"Maggie, my beautiful Maggie, inside and out." PJ held his hand out to caress her face and Maggie was crying openly now, breathing in on a sob, she heard herself utter a small strangled moan, so ashamed of the way she had acted and wondering how he could possibly love her still, even so.
PJ felt as though his heart would explode. The knot in his stomach had moved to his chest and he longed to take her into his arms and hold her, make her part of him forever.
"Have I ever told you how completely, *madly*, head-over-heels in love I am, with you?" PJ gently wiped a tear away from Maggie's face with the pad of his thumb and bent down to kiss her lightly on the lips. It was very sweet. Maggie tasted like chocolate, and PJ smiled in spite of himself, knowing she must have had some of her stash before he came by. For a moment they just stared at each other, almost as though they were mesmerized. It was Maggie who broke the silence.
"I won't ask you to promise anything that will make you have to choose." Maggie swallowed against her tears and tried to look resolute, but PJ could still see that the issue was far from resolved.
"Maggie, we should talk." He reached out and gently moved a lock of wayward hair away from her face and she looked down at the floor, unable to meet his gaze.
"I'm sorry! I can't help it, PJ, I just...I guess I'm just an awful person because every time I think about
us...*together*..." Maggie blushed slightly and PJ felt himself following quickly... "I see you having to rush off on some emergency! And it makes me sad, and it makes me...angry." Maggie was whispering now, and PJ could tell that as much as she did feel hurt, she also felt ashamed for feeling the way that
she did. It broke his heart.
"Maggie, I understand. And you have every *right* to feel the way that you do." He sighed and looked into her tear filled eyes. "You know, sometimes, I get upset about having to *go*...and I feel like I shouldn't always *have* to drop everything and rush off to save the day, like I want to have my
own life too, only it doesn't all belong to *me* anymore, Maggie. Do you...do you understand?"
Maggie choked on a sob and pulled herself into PJ's arms as he lifted them up until they completely enveloped her. With the side of her face pressed tightly against his chest, she spoke. "Yes, PJ. I *do* understand. I mean, I always have, and that's why I felt too...awful for being jealous. Maggie
tensed,expecting to feel PJ stiffen beneath her, but instead, she felt his arms wrap more tightly around her and she felt him...crying? Yes, he was definitely crying, she could feel his quiet sobs moving
inside his chest. And she could hear the soft intake of each breath as he shook beneath her. She held him so tightly that she thought her arms might break away from her body, and she let one hand reach up to stroke his hair from behind.
"Oh, PJ. How did we let this happen to us?" PJ was still pressed against her, he couldn't remember the last time he had felt more love and security. It was like, they had become one person, held together, even breathing as one. It was the most remarkable feeling he had ever experienced in his life and he wanted it to last forever.
"Maggie, I don't care about any of it anymore. I mean, I've decided, *you* are the most important, most wonderful... treasure, I have ever known..." PJ spoke softly and Maggie might have leaned back to look at him if he wasn't still holding her to him with such force. She smiled against his chest and marveled at how someone with such strength was able to be so gentle and vulnerable. She loved him with a passion that made her toes tingle and her chest ache every time she was around him. He made her feel like she was so special, so precious...
"I promise not to be so...controlling, about your job and past I mean." Maggie drew in a deep breath as she felt PJ release his embrace very slightly, perhaps sensing that she would need the freedom to move soon.
"And I promise..." PJ ran his hands down her back slowly, savoring the feel of her against him, letting the softness of the fabric mix with the softness of every curve in her body. It was amazing.
Maggie leaned back now to look up at him. His eyes were still wet from the tears he had shed, but he had never looked more endearing , more handsome to her. She reached up to wipe away some of the wetness on his cheek with her hand and then, instead of releasing it back to her side, she brought it down to her own face, and placed his tears against her own. Without saying a word, she smiled at him and with her other hand, she twined her fingers around his.
PJ thought that his heart would burst. And he knew in that moment that he didn't want to wait until their wedding night. He didn't want to wait even one more minute.
"I have something for you." He took her other hand in his so that both were together, their fingers locked. Maggie looked up at this man, a man she had taken so long to really see... The only man she could ever imagine herself loving. "Three hours." PJ stared expectantly into Maggie's eyes.
Would she agree?
Maggie tipped her head to one side as if she were uncertain of what he was trying to say.
"I-I know it's not a whole night, I-"
Maggie placed two fingers softly against PJ's lips, silencing his apology. She moved within a breath of his lips and whispered softly..
"It's okay. Make your offer, PJ. I'm listening."
PJ felt every fibre in his body respond to Maggie's nearness. His confidence somewhat bolstered by her
allowance, he smiled down at the woman he loved.
"Three hours, no interruptions. On my honor." PJ bowed gracefully like a nobleman in front of his lady
and Maggie giggled in response. "What do you say?"
Maggie stared up at her partner for only a fraction of a second before responding. "I say..." She moved forward like a cat, taking his head in her hands, she drew him towards her and kissed him deeply. As their lips parted, PJ pressed his forehead against hers and whispered her name softly. Then, moving down, he recaptured her mouth with his own. His tongue found easy passage into the warm cavity of her mouth which she opened and she met him, eagerly, hungrily with her own. It was like falling into a bottomless pit. Except that the falling was the best part. Maggie felt a tingling sensation coursing through her whole body, causing her to shiver involuntarily.
Sensing her response, PJ pulled her up against him, deepening their kiss, and Maggie moaned as she felt his hot hands slide up and undo the zipper which ran from her mid back to her tailbone, taking great care to trail one finger down her spine as he went. Maggie's head tipped back and she groaned softly, as PJ trailed kisses down from her neck to the line of her dress in front. With his hands, he explored the sensitive muscles on her back, gently reaching up to undo the clasp that held her bra, and then realizing that there wasn't one. Maggie could sense the rate of PJ's breathing increase, she felt limp, as though she were melting into his arms...
**********
It was the most exquisite sensation she had ever felt in her life, nothing...ever...it had *never* been like this before... Collapsing on top of him, Maggie could hear her breath still coming in gasps. Pressed against his chest, she could feel his racing heartbeat as it sought stability.
For long moments there was silence, broken only by the sound of their breathing as they lay, still entwined in each others' arms. Maggie sighed and pulled more tightly against him.
"God..." Maggie breathed.
"What is it?" PJ's voice sounded odd in the calm silence.
"Nothing. Everything. That was .. amazing." She felt for his hand and pulled it down in front of her as she lay cradled on her side against his body.
"I know." PJ whispered as he squeezed her hand.
"I've never felt this way before. About anyone, ever. I mean, I know you know how I feel...about you, it's just, I feel like..." Maggie stopped, seemingly at a loss for words.
"We're joined? Somehow?" There was uncertainty in PJ's voice, and Maggie turned around to face him, allowing him to wrap his arms around her back for support as they lay on the narrow couch.
"Yeah. That's exactly what I mean. Emotionally and physically." Maggie smiled shyly at him. "I guess...I mean... I hope...I ... I wasn't a disappointment for you, I mean, for our first...oh god...I'm doing it again." She tipped her head down and PJ moved one hand from her back to pull her chin
back up.
"Maggie, I've never felt anything more powerful in my entire life." He stared into her eyes and she *knew* he was telling the truth. He had always told her the truth. How could she have ever thought of living without him? The idea of it now made her shiver and she pulled herself tightly against his
body for warmth and reassurance.
"PJ..." Maggie whispered and lay her head against his chest. "How do you always know the exact right thing to say?"
PJ began to play with a lock of Maggie's hair as he spoke. "I don't, Maggie. I know how to tell the truth. And with you, the truth is sometimes the exact right thing to say." He smiled as he continued to stroke her hair gently.
"What time is it?" Maggie asked, still facing PJ, but with her head against his chest.
PJ glanced at his watch which lay on the floor next to the couch. **How did that get there?**
"Eight. We have some time still." Next to his watch on the floor lay the jacket he had worn. Remembering a familiar voice scolding him, he reached down towards the jacket and into its pocket, pulling out the engagement ring which he had been taking everywhere with him. For a moment he just played with it in between his fingers and then he heard that voice again inside his head.
"Maggie?" PJ's tone was soft.
"Hmmm?" Maggie sighed against him.
"When we were...arguing...," PJ could feel Maggie's muscles tense at the mention of their disagreement.
"the other night, when you handed me the ring, did you really want me to take it?"
Maggie breathed out slowly. "No. I mean, I guess a part of me did, but the bigger part of me wanted you to tell me you wouldn't... take it."
There was silence for a brief time, and then PJ laughed softly to himself.
Maggie, moved against him. "Why are you laughing?"
PJ noticed that her voice almost sounded hurt. **Oh god, she is so vulnerable now, she can't think that I did this just to prove a point**
"Maggie, I'm not laughing because of what you said. It's just that my mom told me that's what you were feeling and I didn't believe her." PJ kissed the top of Maggie's head and traced a line down her arm with one finger. "Maggie?"
"Yes?" Maggie's voice was quiet, contemplative. And there was silence for a moment before PJ finally spoke.
"Will you marry me?"
She lifted her head from PJ's chest and pulled back very slightly so that she could see his face. His eyes
were filled with love, and passion, and something that Maggie had not seen there before, a deeper emotion which she couldn't put a name to, but she knew she shared it as well. She reached out her hand to touch his face and then giggled.
"You know, this is getting to be a habit with us...these proposals." Maggie smiled and let her hand fall against his chest. "PJ, *yes*" She sighed as a stray thought crossed her mind. "Can we get it right this time?" Leaning forward, she kissed his chest lightly and then moved her kiss to his mouth. She ran her tongue lightly against his lips before leaning back once again.
PJ took Maggie's hand in his and slipped the ring gently back onto her finger. He traced the outline of her lips with a finger and then moved forward once again to capture her mouth with his. It was a moment which was shattered with the ringing of the phone.
Maggie reluctantly pulled away and picked it up, keeping her eyes locked on PJ's the entire time.
"Hello?... Yes. It's for you.." She handed the receiver to PJ who appeared confused.
"Yes? Dr. Smith. Someone asked me to get a hold of you...I've been trying for about a day..." PJ shifted his position as Maggie rained light kisses along his neck and collar bone. "Yes I was .... Yes I did. He was just here, can I relay the message?" Moving back almost unwillingly, Maggie pulled a
thin blanket from the back of the couch around her shoulders for warmth.
"You did what? I'm sure he'll be very pleased to hear that. Yes, thank you. Bye." PJ hung up the receiver and returned his gaze to Maggie, noticing how perfect she looked. "That was Dr. Smith. He just got back from his sabbatical. It appears he locked the file in a safety deposit box before he left. He just wanted to tell me not to worry, that it's still there and it's just fine."
Maggie smiled brightly. "PJ that's wonderful!" She jumped forward into his arms. "I still think my idea to get us into the Blue Angel is worth trying out sometime... We could get some great material on the Wilson's there..."
Maggie was cut off in mid-sentence as PJ reached forward and pulled the blanket from her, to her waist.
Settling himself on top of her, he moved down to kiss her passionately. After almost a minute, as their lips parted, Maggie added breathlessly...
"Of course, we don't have to go tonight." She smiled and reached one hand up to play with a stray curl which hung over onto his forehead.
"You're right. We've got the whole night ... no interruptions." PJ trailed kisses along Maggie's neck and down her arm. She let head fall back against the small pillow below her and she moaned softly.
"No interruptions?"
PJ gazed down at her, his eyes radiating heat. "I don't know how you make me feel the way you do, Maggie, but I do know that I want to feel this way forever." As he moved forward to kiss her again on the lips, PJ heard the blanket fall to the floor and he adjusted his position so that he completely covered her. He moved his mouth lower, and heard Maggie groan as he felt her arch against him once again.
Pulling back for the briefest moment just to look at her, he wondered how he could be so lucky, how the most wonderful, beautiful woman in the world could possibly be in love with him. Yet here she was.
"PJ..." Maggie's voice was almost a protest as she opened her eyes, heavy and full of desire. It was all the encouragement he needed. Mount Thomas could go on for one more night without him.
The end