Quotes: SmackDown!
February 10, 2000
Taped 2/8/00 from Austin, Texas
Recap of events from RAW is WAR. WWF European Championship: Val Venis (C) vs. Kurt Angle. D-X and Radicals make plans backstage. Grand Master Sexay vs. Perry Saturn. XFL promo. Edge/Christian vs. the Dudley Boyz; Buh Buh Ray fakes an injury and puts B.B. through a table; Edge and Christian return to her defense but are also laid out. Scotty Too Hotty vs. Dean Malenko; Eddie Guerrero, Grand Master Sexay come out. Tazz vignette. New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Rock. Gangrel/Luna vs. Prince Albert/Jacqueline (C). Rikishi Phatu vs. Chris Benoit; Saturn, Malenko, Too Cool come in. Rikishi/Too Cool dance. Al Snow/Steve Blackman vignette. The Hardy Boyz vs. Head Cheese; Dudley Boyz interfere. No DQ: Chris Jericho (C, with one arm tied behind his back) vs. the Hollies; A.P.A. interfere. Triple H/X-Pac (w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and Tori) vs. Kane (w/ Paul Bearer);
�My seat sucks�
-- sign in the crowd
�I just want to say to everyone that, even though I suplexed an eighty-two-year-old pregnant woman, I am still a role model for children, not to mention elderly people as well. At the time, I actually thought it was Mark Henry.�
�That�s a logical mistake.�
-- Kurt Angle and Lawler
�Tonight, I have decided to treat all of you, and become the next European champion. Now, I realize we�re down here in Texas, and not a lot of people here know where Europe is��
-- Kurt Angle catching big crowd heat
�Where else but in the WWF are you gonna find an eighty-two-year-old exhibitionist?!�
-- Lawler on Mae Young
�Angle sucks! Angle sucks! Angle sucks!�
�Listen to these people! Angle does NOT suck!�
�This crowd at the University of Texas all over Kurt Angle.
�They don�t know anything about American heroes down here; ever since the Alamo fell. Do you remember the Alamo?�
�Yeah, I remember it.�
�Mae Young was a nurse, I think�"
�Will you stop?�
-- the crowd, Lawler ,and Michael Cole
�Grand Master Sexay� you got your work cut out for ya, pal!�
-- Lawler
�This has gotta drive Saturn nuts, if he�s not already!�
-- Lawler as Grand Master Sexay kicks out of a pinfall attempt
�Look at this! Wait a minute!�
�What do you mean, wait a minute?�
�Grand Master�s getting ready to get down!�
-- Lawler and Michael Cole as Grand Master loses his �do rag and shirt to many girlie shrieks
�Oh, Saturn got the shoulder up!�
�Yeah, at about the count of nine!�
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
�These two sickos have no conscience!�
-- Michael Cole on the Dudley Boyz
�Oh, these guys are ready to get it on! All four of them want each other!�
-- Lawler, referring to Edge, Christian, and the Hardy Boyz (whatever you say, man, whatever you say)
LAWLER (to Michael Cole): �Why don�t you go ahead and start calling them the damn Dudleys, too?�
MICHAEL COLE: �Well, they are the damn Dudleys! I�ll agree with J.R. on that point!�
LAWLER: �Let me write that down��
MICHAEL COLE (ignoring him): �Christian whipped into the ropes��
LAWLER (murmuring to himself as he begins taking notes): �Michael Cole��
MICHAEL COLE (still trying to ignore him): �Look out now! Christian; sunset flip on D-Von! Could have him here!�
LAWLER: ��damn Dudleys.�
�What business does Buh Buh Ray Dudley have with a steel chair?�
�Well, I guarantee he ain�t gonna sit in it.�
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Buh Buh takes off with his new weapon
�Look at him! Look at him!�
-- Buh Buh Ray directing the crowd�s attention to a battered Christian
�That�d knock his brains out, if he had any!�
-- Lawler as Christian hits a DDT on Buh Buh
�Does it hurt? Huh? Does it hurt?�
��No, it doesn�t hurt.�
-- D-Von and Buh Buh Ray, as Buh Buh stops feigning his injury and instead takes the opportunity to seize B.B.
�THESE DAMN DUDLEYS!�
-- Michael Cole as Buh Buh Ray puts B.B. through a table
�Never turn your back on the Dudleys!�
-- Lawler as D-Von absolutely PASTES Edge and Christian with chairshots
�All right, I�ll agree with you. These damn Dudleys ARE sick!�
-- Lawler
�Well, one can�t grieve forever! Let�s get down, Michael!�
-- Lawler as Scotty Too Hotty heads ringside
�Eddie sucks! Eddie sucks! Eddie sucks!�
-- chant from the crowd
�Cactus Jack, in seventeen days, King, in a match for his career against Triple H, Hell In a Cell at No Way Out!�
�In seventeen days, Cactus Jack GOES to hell!�
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
�Bang bang!�
-- Road Dogg mocking Cactus Jack
�Couple of cheap shots never hurt anybody!�
-- Lawler as the Outlaws double-team the Rock
�What�s Billy Gunn doing with the championship?�
�Well, it�s his, isn�t it?�
-- Michael Cole and Lawler as Mr. Ass clobbers the Rock with the belt
�Cactus Jack ripping the bandage off the head of the Road Dogg and biting it!�
�What is he, CRAZY?!�
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
�Powerbomb by Prince Albert on Gangrel� and what�s Prince Albert gonna do?�
�I don�t know� he�ll pierce ya�or do SOMETHING to ya�in a heartbeat!�
-- Michael Cole and Lawler
�No, you�re not looking through the Hubble telescope at the moon from about three miles out�that�s Rikishi�s rear end!�
-- Lawler as Rikishi Phatu heads to the ring
�What did Cactus Jack ever do for anybody? Cactus Jack probably couldn�t get you a job at Taco Bell, much less the World Wrestling Federation!�
-- Lawler
�How strong IS this guy? I mean, he lifted four hundred pounds of ass! Unbelievable!�
-- Lawler as Benoit gets a suplex on Rikishi
�It�s subliminal thinking! It�s working, man! If you THINK you have a personality, maybe� someday, you�ll actually get one!�
-- Al Snow to Blackman, as he plays the song �Personality� on his boom box
�Oh� Head Cheese!�
�See? They�re recognizing you!�
-- Sho Funaki and Al Snow to Blackman
�The lethal cheddar, Steve Blackman.�
-- Michael Cole
�Head Cheese! Head Cheese! Head Cheese!�
-- chant from the crowd
�We�ve flipped over the Hardys!�
-- sign in the crowd
�Some people have been saying that the Hardy Boyz are the team of the millennium; I don�t even know if they�re gonna make it out of HERE tonight.�
-- Lawler
�WCW is a joke!�
-- parading sign in the crowd
�What�d he do? They�re gone!�
-- Lawler as Jeff Hardy does a senton bomb over the top rope onto Al Snow
�I�ll say it for ya�give the assist to those damn Dudleys!�
-- Lawler
�Welcome to� Austin� is� Jericho! And I know that all of you Jerichoholics are wondering why I�m coming to the ring like this! Well, being a legendary champion and a bad mamma jamma, it makes no difference whether I have one hand tied behind my back, or if I decide to tie both arms, both legs behind my back, set up the two Holly pins, roll down this rampway, and score a 7-10 idiot split, becoming the Ayatollah of Rock-and-Bowlah!�
-- Chris Jericho
�I�d like to see Chyna hit Jay Leno right in that big chin of his.�
-- Lawler
�This is not a good time to be X-Pac.�
-- Lawler as X-Pac escapes into the crowd to try and get away from Kane
�You know what�s cool about this? D-X gets all the good-looking chicks, and Kane gets Paul Bearer!�
-- Lawler
�Paul Bearer has Tori!�
-- Michael Cole as Paul Bearer drags her over to Kane
�Forgive and forget, Kane! Ya gotta turn the other cheek!�
�Oh, and Kane let her go.�
�He is human after all!�
-- Lawler and Michael Cole as the crowd gives Kane big heat
�MY GOD!! THE TOMBSTONE TO TORI!! MY GOD!�
-- Michael Cole as Kane attacks Tori anyway� and the crowd goes wild!
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