Rating: 

The Info

Directed by: John McTiernan
Written by: Warren Lewis, William Wisher (novel by Michael Crichton)
Starring: Antonio Banderas, Diane Venora, Omar Sharif
Produced by: Michael Crichton, Ned Dowd, John McTiernan

The Nutshell

An Arab is forced to fight alongside a band of Vikings against an ancient evil.

The Review

    Once a novelist has a book successfully transferred onto the big screen, every other book he or she has written goes up for grabs. What usually follows is a string of films that become less enjoyable and more mediocre as time goes on. Michael Crichton is no exception; while many of his early novels, like The Great Train Robbery were made into films, no blockbuster emerged until Jurassic Park. After that films amazing success, every other Crichton novel was made into a film within five years; Congo, Rising Sun, Disclosure, Sphere, The Lost World. The only novel left was one of Crichton's weaker efforts, a tale of cannibalism and Vikings called Eaters of the Dead. Despite a welcome title change, the film mirrors the lesser qualities of Crichton's novel, and is mediocre at best.

    Ostensibly a tale of one man finding heroism and valour in his soul, The 13th Warrior is really the tale of a Hollywood big budget film falling apart and having to be reshot and then left on the shelf collecting dust for at least a year. Director John McTiernan, who has made some of the better testosterone-filled films of the last fifteen years such as Die Hard, Predator and The Hunt For Red October ran into trouble with this production, eventually having some material reshot by Michael Crichton himself. This film sat on the shelf for so long that McTiernan's next directing job, making The Thomas Crown Affair, appeared in theatres first.

    Antonio Banderas is an Arab courtier named Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan, nicknamed Eban by the Vikings. Eban "fell in love with the wrong woman" and was sent out of his country as an emissary into the frigid North. On his way, he encounters a group of Vikings. The Vikings, as hard-drinking and violent as they are in every story and film about them, get bad news; their country is being threatened by the Wendol, an ancient evil. Asking their handy Oracle for guidance, she names twelve men to form a band to head North into battle, adding that a thirteenth, who must be a foreigner, will join them. Being the only foreigner around, Eban becomes a partner in their quest to get home and fight the Wendol. Eventually Eban will play a crucial role in the fight against the bad guys, coming up with new inventive ways to counter their attacks. By the time the credits roll, many people will be dead, buckets of fake blood will have been poured, and Antonio will have found bravery and valour.

    The film's story is unambitious and dull, but the narrative further weakens it by leaving loose ends in the plot and a general lack of believability. The Wendol are so feared by the Vikings that they refuse to even mention their name. The Vikings, having fought them before, believe them to be invincible monsters, part bear, part man, who can summon giant fireworms. Somehow only Eban is able to notice that they are men in bear costumes, and that the fireworm is merely a bunch of guys on horseback carrying torches in the air. Centuries of Viking mythology are instantly debunked by one man. Eban and the Vikings take so long to travel to their Northern home that Eban is able to master their language, though it all magically appears to him in a single night. A sub-plot about a possible usurper to the Viking throne takes up screen time for awhile, with a lot of "watch out for that one" and "he is not to be trusted" style warnings, yet ten minutes later, he seems to just go away.

    The 13th Warrior is full of gigantic men well-suited to their parts. Everyone pictures Vikings as bearded strongmen, and McTiernan feeds that image with a cast made up mostly of actual Northern Europeans, and expected props like longboats and two-handed swords. These are fearsome looking men, and the battles they wage are engaging, though nothing compared to the swordfights of Henry V, or Braveheart. Antonio Banderas is okay as Eban, providing plenty of minor chuckles in his awkwardness when trying to wield a Viking sword or attempting to move with armour on. There are some truly amusing bits, which will help satisfy any moviegoers just out to be distracted for two hours. In the filmography of Michael Crichton's novels, this fits somewhere in the middle; nowhere near as pointless as Congo, but no match for Jurassic Park. Looking for a great action film? Look elsewhere. Want to simply waste an afternoon doing something that will allow you to disconnect your brain? This is your answer.

Copyright - Tim Chandler

Press "back" to return to the previous page, or click on a link:

Adventures in Cinema front page        The O.F.C.S.       Max'd On Movies