Now, we all know that maintaining safety at home and when out and about is an important matter. Fortunately, talentless Manics-plagiarising know-nothings - sorry, that should have read hotly-tipped Glaswegian glam-punks - Carnage Candy have produced a pictorial guide to health and safety. So, let us begin:
2. Be careful when running in the dark. And take your sunglasses off. Mon S. Clinton didn�t do this, and he�s walked smack into the camera.
3. Ensure that stairways are uncluttered by members of copyist glam bands. Here we see Miguel C. Kesey blocking the stairs, which can pose a fire hazard, especially when setting light to members of Carnage Candy.
4. And again, Juan F. Kennedy is also on the stairs. This is a cluttered stairway, and a very poor example of health and safety.
5. And now Fletch E. Kerouac is doing it! Dear me�.
6. And Mon S. Clinton! Just what is this obsession Carnage Candy have with sitting on stairs?
7. When taking Miguel out into the countryside to burn him at the stake, ensure that the fire is well attended . Close all gates behind you, and don�t litter the area with feather boas and tinsel.
8. Be careful when climbing onto tall objects, especially wheelie bins. By the way Miguel, the word �recycling� refers to bottles and cans, not Manics cliches and Richey quotes.
9. When reclining, sit up or lie flat, without allowing your spine to curve. Keep your legs together. Look after your back and your back will look after you. Sorry boys, but this isn�t good enough�.
10.�and neither is this. And stop sniffing that spray paint!
All pictures here were gratefully stolen from the official Carnage Candy website
Follow the trail of feather boas back home